《My System Hates Me》Ugly smiles
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“Where are all the goblins?” Jack asked, scouring his sight between the cut trees.
“Don’t you know that they’re… nocturnal creatures.” Running for the last two hours had made me expterperated. My throat was drier than the sand frying in a desert. Everything below my waist burned from exhaustion.
We reached a giant cave opening and Jack slowed down. I thought, ‘“Finally some time for rest.” There were human skulls hanging off sticks planted all across the entrance. The smell of blood, piss and shit polluted the air around me. Jack continued moving forward, he returned to jogging and entered the dark cave.
My legs would do anything rather than move, but I’d be damned if I gave my father another reason to laugh at me. I caught up to Jack and jogged beside him. The tunnel grew darker, trails of dried blood coloured the floor, I clenched my daggers. Damn, I was glad to have them.
Even though it got darker, it seemingly didn’t affect Jack, he acted if he saw everything clear as day. Nothing but our steps echoed through the cave.
When the cave started descending, my legs turned ice. I fell face forward into the hard ground catching myself with my hands. Jack didn’t stop and faded into the darkness. I shouted with no response. His steps faded soon as well, and I was left with silence.
My eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could make out the silhouettes of rubbles on the ground. However, it got darker the further down I hunched the tunnel. I heard steps. My gut turned heavy. They came from behind me.
Even though it seemed impossible, I gripped my daggers harder then I had. Two small creatures strolled into my sight. I suddenly felt energized as if lightning had struck me. The pain in my leg disappeared, my breaths tuned out, and my sight sharped in on the goblins.
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They noticed me and grunted to each other before howling, the screeching howl reverberated throughout the cave. Their short crude swords hung off their bony arms. They encircled me, taking small steps forward without breaking eye contact.
For each step they took forward I took one backwards, but I couldn’t continue retreating as the darkness grew. I heard my fathers voice, “Two goblins. You can't deal with two goblins? hahaha.”
I dived and lunged for the rightmost goblin, daggers alert and sharp. I slashed for the goblin but it jumped back and I felt a sting in my left leg. The other goblin pierced me. I jerked my body towards it but in the corner of my eye, I saw the other goblin advance. I took a step back, they had me where they wanted me.
The goblins chuckled.
Who were you laughing at? My heart pounded like a fat ogre sprinting. My suddenly poisonous eyes encroached on the goblin. Once again, I charged the same goblin, swinging and stabbing my daggers to the wind. He jumped back but I didn’t stop.
I grabbed the goblin and tackled it down. I mounted him and screamed at him, my hands touched its cold sweaty skin. The goblin jerked and struggled to escape my grasp but I wouldn’t let it. The goblin behind me shoved his sword into my back. Fuck my back. I raised my dagger and slammed it into the goblin’s skull. Blood spurted out
My eyes jerked towards the second goblin. The goblin gulped and backed away as he saw them. I stood up, the sword still in my back, and it ran away. After its second step, I tackled the goblin. I slashed and cut the goblin's face until my hands were drenched in blood and my face was coloured red. I pulled out the sword and shoved it into his chest for good riddance. Nah, just fuck that goblin in particular.
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I stood up and hunched deeper into the tunnel. They dared chuckle at me, I was going to make their entire lineage pay. But, before I got deeper into the tunnel, I heard more steps coming from behind me.
They were heavier and deeper than before. It was a single goblin my own size, but its arms were thicker than mine. He held a club and smiled, not blinking once for his dead comrades. I hunched towards the goblin, my eyes were ablaze. The goblin continued smiling.
I charged and tackled the goblin down on the ground and wrestled him. The goblin grabbed my arms and clenched them. Fuck my arms. He threw me towards the wall, stood up and walked towards me. He mounted me. His disgusting smile was still on his face and my daggers were still in my hands, I fully shoved them into his chest and blood poured out. He didn’t flinch.
The large goblin raised his arm and smashed it into my head. My head bounced off the ground, it didn’t hurt but my mind turned fuzzy. Did he even hit me?
A goblin shouldn’t kill me. A goblin was the last thing that should kill me.
Eyes vibrated and shook, jerking from side to side. Hand spasmed and vibrated. Blood spurted out of the left eye, it felt like it would detach. My white eyeball turned black. I banged my hands into the goblin.
Visions crowded my mind. Rotting hands and feet, oceans coloured red, swords bending into eternity. There was a scream so high pitched, so violent, and so loud that it shook my mind to the core.
Alongside these visions, fury flooded into my body. A fury that wasn’t mine.
“AAAARRGHH,” I screamed and jerked the goblin off me. I got on top and mounted him. I smashed my fists into his head, over and over, until it was a mix of blood, bone and brain parts. I saw no smile anymore.
I heard more steps. Two large goblins came from the entrance of the cave. I stood up, ready to face them head on. But suddenly, I heard a familiar rhythm approaching me from behind, I glanced and saw Jack jogging.
“I’ll take one, and you take one.” I panted.
He slashed the air with his arm and their heads toppled down.
“That also works,” I said.
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Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster
Aliens are real! And monsters! But that's racist, don't call them that. And there's magic too! The life of humble, hard-working Carioca*¹² Rafael Barro is thrown into disarray when the interstellar Multi-Unity Alliance comes knocking. During the negotiations to take Earth in as a Protected Member-Planet for the glory of our AI overlords, the aliens ‘accidentally’ break the Veil that keeps the mythics protected from humanity’s knowledge, revealing the creatures of legend and myth that were hiding among us for millennia — from the doorman to global leaders. After a series of mishaps in his ever chaotic Brazil, our intrepid hero decides to join the Unity's Army, where he ends up as a inglorious… quartermaster. The Unity takes all recruits to make matters worse, including the mythics! And the cherry on the damn pie is Rafael Barro’s extra assignment: writing this historical first-hand report on the wonders of Earth’s diversity, the seamless adaptation of all its members, and on his gallant units’ first stellar expedition ever to defend another precious*³ world! Are we talking about the same planet? (Reader discretion is advised; Contains Graphic Language and Potentially Excessive Swearing) *¹ Carioca = demonym of someone from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. *² humble and/or hardworking Cariocas = not necessarily mythics, ordinary ones actually exist. *³ precious = inasmuch every living planet is precious. Editor's Note: Someone disable his permission to edit the draft on UnityDocs, please! Hello, I'm McKing and I aim to write an original story with elements I've never seen put together before. Feel free to point out any mistakes you see — I'm not a native speaker, so I'm sure a few will pass me by. Sci-fi; Humor; (Brazilian) Urban Fantasy; faint shades of LitRPG. **Be warned it has a bit of an (absurd) slice-of-life beginning though the story is being subtly (I hope) worked on and eventually shifts gears (a bit). I planned to say that from the beginning, but I forgot to add it.** I hope that you enjoy it and that I can grow as a writer with your contributions. No Fixed Update Schedule. My inspiration comes in bursts and so will the Chapters. Sorry if that displeases you (I love regular updates too), but I'm afraid that's the best I can do for now. Keep in mind that it is a work in progress and things can eventually change a bit - I'll try to always note the changes. Sorry for the bad cover, it was the best my sorry skills could do! I hope you enjoy it,Mcking
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