《My System Hates Me》Horde of goblins
Advertisement
I hated using my father's name to get clothing. No matter where I was, I could always say his name and everyone suddenly loved me. “Udyr’s son,” they said when introducing me to their friends. Udyr's fucking son. No insult in the world made me feel as worthless as hearing that.
I had approached three parties and every single one rejected me. The adventurer’s guild despised rogues like myself, but not my father of course. I despised one interaction in particular. I approached a small party standing idly outside the guild. They were happy to see me, happy to talk to me until they heard my class.
“Ohh, you’re a rogue… We already have that spot filled, sorry,” He said, and I looked behind him. There was a large man with a broadsword and a small girl with a staff. No rogue insight.
“Where’s your rogue?” I asked.
“I like the rogues best that I can’t see,” He said before turning around. The look in his eyes made the meaning behind that statement clear.
They rejected me, but I was sure they wouldn’t reject my father. I stomped my feet into the ground and clenched my daggers. One day they’d regret this mistake, one day they’d hear the name Odysseus, one day they’ll brag about meeting me.
Out of nowhere, a face I swore I had seen before approached me. It took me a while but I realized that it was the same man that came walking out of the woods. He looked similar but different, it could just be my memory.
“What’s happening Ody?” Jack said with a tone indicating he knew me.
“Hey, Jack. Nobody seems to value rogues here. It’s insane.” I said, continuing the tone. You gotta play the fools game or shun him.
Advertisement
“Ahh. Idiots. Do you want to join me?” Jack said, his eyes briefly glancing at my palm. The hair on my neck stood up, his wild eyes screamed mischief.
“Sure. What other choice do I have?” I said, thinking that it’s better to have a teammate than not.
“Okay. Go in there and grab the best paying quest possible.” He said. He nodded towards the adventurer’s guild.
“Why can’t you go in there?” I asked, who does he think he’s talking to?
“I’m not in the adventure guild.” His arms appeared out from under his robe, he showed me his palm. It looked like a rotten ball sack, the sight of which almost made me vomit.
“What the fuck is that?” I asked.
“It’s my guild. Anyway, who cares. Go get me a high paying quest. The best-paying. We’ll split 50/50,” He said.
“Hmm… Okay,” I said.
I walked into the adventure guild. The first time I walked in here I saw a lot of friendly faces, this time I didn’t see a single one. I still hadn’t figured out why they so vividly hated the rogue class. There wasn’t a demonic ritual to becoming one.
I walked over to the quest board, plucking the one with the highest paying reward. I felt people look at me as I did it. It almost felt taboo. Could I take this? Maybe it was smarter, to begin with something easier. Suddenly, I could hear it, my fathers laugh. And soon, I saw his face accompanying the laugh. I marched over to the clerk whilst clenching the paper. I forcefully put it down on the table and stared him in the eyes.
“Are you sure you want this one?” There was a tinge of worry in his voice, but I heard a lot of ridicule alongside it.
Advertisement
“Yes,” I said.
“Okay then,” He complied.
It was eerily silent as I walked out of the guild. I could hear laughter the second the door closed. Damn those bastards. I’ll do this, it’ll be easy.
Jack stood there waiting for me. I had figured out what was different about Jack, he had a coat on. I could use a coat, it would fit me as a rogue. Matter of fact, what class was Jack? He didn’t have a weapon so I assumed him to be a mage but that wasn’t certain.
“There’s a horde of goblins marching towards a village close here. The reward is 30 gold.”
“Perfect,” Jack said.
“By the way, what class are you?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
Jack had started to walk away, I chased after. It should be me taking charge! I made sure to stay one step ahead of him.
“Where are you going?” It felt ironic asking him as I walked in front of him.
“To kill the goblins?”
“You don’t even know where they are.”
“Well they aren’t in the capital,” I felt my face heat up.
“I guess.”
“Still it’s good to know where they are,” He added, was he trying to make me feel better? I didn’t need that from some shitty mage. But it was my idea to bring it up first, so I guess I’ll have to go with it.
“It’s southwest of a village called Kingshome.”
“Where’s Kingshome?” He asked.
“Southwest of the capital,” I said.
“System, which direction is southwest?” He asked someone to call the system. Was this some sort of spirit? My father had told me of spirit whispers once, they seemed interesting.
“Can you jog?” He asked.
“Yeah sure,” I said.
He broke into a full sprint. Did he call this jogging? I quickly hurried after, I would not be ridiculed like this. I could imagine my father laughing at me, “You disappointment!” He said, “Can’t even jog.”
I was drenched in sweat but he didn’t even pant. He breathed through his fucking nose! My knees started hurting two kilometers ago, my kidneys turned to stone one kilometer ago, and currently, my thumping heart deafened me. And he breathed through his fucking, nose.
“Best… take supplies from the village… before we head-out,” I said between breaths.
“Won’t be needed, they’re only goblins, right? Low tier monsters.”
I made the wrong decision. I, really, made the wrong decision. A horde of fucking chickens was a worthy opponent, lest a horde of goblins. Shut up father, stop laughing at me. My head heated up, and my eyes regained their focus.
I straightened my back, let my lungs cry. I’m the pimp and they’re my whores, not the other way around. Jack continued jogging southwest, moving right through the village, I slugged after. I would not be left behind!
Advertisement
- In Serial17 Chapters
The Villain Is Too Cute
Yin Minglu is the golden medaled agent of the Reincarnation of Fate Organization, who specializes in receiving various special clients with deep resentment and obsession in their heart and get justice on their behalf, face slapping scumbag men and women, angering the son of the fate, and living their life again.
8 388 - In Serial9 Chapters
Land Of Dragons
Imagine living a normal life. Girlfriend, parents, and a dog. A good job, and an addiction to RPGs. And to anime and light novels. Imagine then being ripped from that perfect life, and sent to the world of your dreams. Quite literally the world of your dreams; nightmares included.What happens when Ezekiel gets thrown into a terrifyingly wonderful world of dragons, wizards, and elves... with all the fantastic powers of a dragon. What if that occurs not once, not twice, but six times? With his power growing and interest peaking, what will happen in this strange world when a new dragon emperor arrives?
8 77 - In Serial69 Chapters
Heartstone
Book 1 is complete. Book 2 is currently updating. For centuries, the portal to another dimension remained closed. Now, it is mysteriously open again, and the link between Earth and Heartstone allows us to journey once more to this magical realm. Book 1 - Arwin arrives in Heartstone and meets some lovely damsels who are unfortunately in distress. He faces off against blue blood nobles to help the people of the Blue Region. Book 2 - Arwin befriends Yaz, a talking skeleton and sets off for adventure. But before they get going, they stumble across a tribe of gorgeous nymphs. All seems fun and games until the goblins arrive. This series is a portal fantasy (isekai) that features wordplay and puns and plenty of cultural references. Reminiscient of Piers Anthony's Xanth series and Terry Pratchett's Discworld, but for a more adult audience. Book 1 is also available on Amazon and other online stores. You can also download from Patreon.
8 90 - In Serial24 Chapters
Ishtar's smile
Greetings to you, mysterious reader! I am Ishtar and... well, 'know what ? Let's forget the formalities! To be honest, I don't know my age. I was here before the founding of Uruk. I'll be there long after your descendants have died. Let's say I'm old, shall we? Well, it doesn't show, because I certainly look something like 17. 'll have to trust me. Ah, ah! Let's start at the beginning: if the weird ideograms on this document make sense to you, then someone has taught you my mother tongue. Congratulations, I am dealing with a well educated individual! Where are you from? Is there anything interesting going on in your era? Because obviously, a few centuries (millennia, actually) will have passed since this was written, so please excuse my curiosity. Ugh... get real. You know no one is gonna read this thing. What's the point for a goddess to keep a diary?24/120, NOVEL. ONGOING.
8 73 - In Serial76 Chapters
Fand
When rainbow lights flicker across the face of the moon, Fand believes it is a good omen, at least she hopes it is. But is it? All she knows is that she doesn't want her cousin to join the Council and move far away. The only one who could prevent his leaving is the Keeper. She asks the Keeper a single request, a request that has the power to up end the lives of those she loves best, but she doesn't even consider this. Will her request be granted?
8 296 - In Serial25 Chapters
Kakashi The Hunter
Kakashi dies and life decides it's not his time. He's 28 again and apparently, not in the same world. What happens when he meets four kids that remind him of Team 7? And what happens when he catches the eye of a mysterious clown?Follow Kakashi on his journey in this new life. Totally not being suspicious because he has no nen but he can still walk on walls and do Jutsus? Just who is this Kakashi Hatake?
8 327

