《My System Hates Me》Tricky Ogre
Advertisement
His head stared right up the Ogre’s nose. He thought, “So this is how it must feel to be a rabbit. Defenceless and tiny.” His wit had come to its limits.
“You help?” The ogre asked
“With what?” Jack asked.
“Wife is sick. Hooman smart, hooman help.” The ogre said, Jack had crawled further back, he refused to get another drop of snot on him.
“And if I say no?” Jack asked.
“Me hove snack.” The ogre said.
“If you picked a class you could probably escape.” The system intoned
“Oh shut up you,” Jack mumbled.
“Sure I’ll help you, where’s your wife.”
The ogre bent down further and grabbed Jack, careful not to clench too hard. Lifting him up and straightening his back, the ogre jogged towards his home. They travelled back into the green forest with tall trees. Jack heard no twittering, the birds were silent because of Ogre’s love for birds. Tasty little “snocks”.
The ogre stopped when they saw a piece of land that had been shot up, creating a small cave of sorts. Inside it laid lady ogre, she looked a lot paler than the male ogre. She was wheezing loudly. Ogre put Jack down beside her.
“you help?” The ogre asked Jack with a solemn tone.
“Inspect,” Jack said.
“Ogre ~ ape-like intelligence with strong and big bodies. This one is currently sick with the human flu and is in a nearly fatal state. It is cured by a number of healing spells and potions.
“Shop.”
Jack scrolled through the shop and tried to find a potion. He needed ten silvers for a simple-cure potion. He needed nine silvers for a simple-poisonous potion. Then again, the ogre helped him, even if he didn’t know it.
Advertisement
“I can help you If you give me twenty silver. Jack said.
“I no twenty silver coins.” The ogre said.
“Get some then,” Jack said.
“If twenty coin you help wife?”
“Yes.”
The ogre ran away. He looked a lot more fierceome then before. Jack went and sat down beside the wife. She breathed in and sneezed a mouth load of snot at him. He was covered in it head to toe. He almost puked.
The system said. “I have come to terms with you delaying your class decision infinitely. You are here to beta test after all. We shall move onto the final stage. What type of main quest do you want to take?
“Main quests available.
Slay a dragon ~ simple.
Slay the king ~ mediocre
Slay the emperor ~ hard
Slay the demon king ~ Insane
Slay the king of gods. Zeus. ~ Monstrosity.”
“I pick the hardest quest of course. Slay the king of gods.” Jack answered, a big smile on his face.
“Quest has been selected. Good luck adventurer!“
It didn’t take long until the ogre came back all bloody and wounded. He held a bloody sack, which Jack presumed to be filled with coins, he threw the sack at Jack. Jack found the bag to be heavy.
He opened up his inventory and deposited the coins. The shop told him that he had thirty silver in total. He bought the cure potion and it materialized in his hands. He walked up the sick ogre and poured it into her gigantic mouth.
“Inspect “
“Ogre ~ ape-like intelligence with strong and big bodies. Cured.”
“Okay. I cured her.”
“Thanks.” The ogre said.
“She looks hungry. You food her now.”
Jack thought, “This tricky fucker, of course, he’d eat me after I finished.”
Advertisement
“And if I don’t want to,” Jack said, and the ogre growled, showing his big bloody teeth.
“Okay. I "food" her. But before that. She will get sick again if you don’t do this…” Jack waited for a response.
“Do what?” He got the expected response
“You need to also drink a potion.”
“Which potion?”
Jack bought the poisonous potion and handed it to the ogre. The ogre gulped it down like sweet honey.
After the ogre gulped it down, he tried to spit it out. He pulled out his tongue and tried to wipe it clean. “Disgosting!” The ogre said. His, now slimy, hands wrapped around his stomach as it made a loud noise. He fell down on his knees, his eyes shone one last time before he collapsed. He still breathed. Heavy and slow breaths.
Arne walked over and kicked him, over and over, until he got a message.
“Ogre killed! 400 Xp gained.”
“Level up! +1 stat point.”
“Level up! +1 stat point.”
“Level up! +1 stat point.”
“Level up! +1 stat point.”
“Level up! +1 stat point.”
“Level up! +1 stat point.”
“Level up! +1 stat point.”
He looked over at the sick ogre. He respected the male ogre's attempt to con him too much to kill her. He walked off, the direction the ogre had gone. He figured that there must be civilization in this direction.
On his way there, he looked over the abilities he could purchase. He had 11 silvers he could spend. There was a lot of interesting combinations he could make. He picked an ability that would be good for fighting. Ten silvers disappeared.
“Class: Ninja. Aura slice ~ A ranged attack that will send an air slice towards the enemy. Cooldown 15 minutes. Damage: 15. “
A book appeared in his hands.
“Would the host like to learn this skill?” A window popped up.
“Yes.” Jack said.
The book turned into light and disappeared.
“Does this work with any books?” Arne asked the system.
“No” The system said.
“Which books does it work with?”
“Books written by the creator of said skill or store bought books.”
“Huh.” Arne said.
After about thirty minutes of walking through the forest, Arne found the road the Ogre had pillaged from. He saw a broken carriage, with two mauled guards and crushed guards on the floor. Three men stood in front of the carriage. They sported fat bellies and fine silk clothes.
Arne waved and walked up to them.
“Everything alright?” He asked.
Advertisement
- In Serial832 Chapters
Undefeated God of War
Youth, is meant to be used to shed sweat under the sun! Youth, is to continuously engage in battles, and secure the win! The endless journey on Heaven’s Road, an endless expedition, a testimony of a hot-blooded youth’s legend! A dream every man harbors, with the ignition of the blood! Forever young, Undefeated God of War!
8 124174 - In Serial21 Chapters
Sonny Samhain
Fact: "Moreso than nuclear weapons, or the information technologies, magic is the most dangerous toy mankind ever got their hands on. "Fact: Cornelius Dacre Douglas is an upstanding citizen of the Kingdom of Alvis, living in the city of Radomir. He works a nine-to-five job as an office clerk, to support his wife and daughter. With little to no association to the various underworld powers that secretly control the city. Fact: Cornelius Dacre Douglas, may not be who he seems to be. Cornelius Dacre Douglas may not even be Cornelius Dacre Douglas. He may in fact be an unknown 'formerly human' entity from an alternate reality, living as Cornelius Dacre Douglas because he has no hope of rectifying the situation or going home.Fact: The Current Cornelius Dacre Douglas would really prefer to live peacefully and hopes that the various entities and powers plotting to destroy/replace the current world order, would at least 'try' to be a little considerate of those people who have to work early in the morning and take their kids to school.
8 151 - In Serial10 Chapters
Red Mantis and Avenger Doll
"Anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough." That is the motto Red Mantis lives by - and she is the bravest of them all. The nymphomaniac inter-dimensional assassin for hire, also known as Olethea Sykoria in most worlds, is on an endless quest to discover the highest form of pleasure, which generally means getting it on with anyone and anything that can give it to her. She has a steep fee and only takes jobs she finds interesting, but when she boasts a 100% success rate, her customers never have reason to complain.Cynicism. Cheek. And a serious personality streak. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect sassy girl. But Meakashi added an extra ingredient to the concoction... Meta Knowledge. Thus, the Avenger Doll was born! With her fourth-wall breaking, Ootsuki Senka has had her life dedicated to becoming the straight girl in this dimension-traveling duo. The only reason she is going along with Olethea's antics is that the author forces her to do so, but maybe she will develop a deeper connection to her new partner. Follow the inter-dimensional misadventures of a resourceful but sex-addicted elf, and a cynical, sassy genre-savvy cursed doll, as they carve their names into the legends of the multiverse - as troublemakers and a menace to society. Maybe the assassin for hire will discover more to live for than just ephemeral pleasure. Maybe the doll girl will finally find the reason for her tortured existence. Whatever the case, the one guarantee is that there will be plenty of cynicism, killing, sex, and breaking the fourth wall. _________________________________ This is a side-project to my main story Maou Shoujo Magical Chaos and is basically a spinoff to it, featuring a character from its supporting cast as one of the two protagonists. Warning: This will have tons of mindless funny gory killing and lots of potentially disturbing casual sex. Updating Schedule: On Hiatus. Disclaimer: The cover picture is by the fan DanP, my eternal thanks!
8 205 - In Serial14 Chapters
Fantasy Unlimited (Dropped)
If you were terminally ill, family and friends abandoned you, and had countless hours to spend, what would you do? Cyrus chose to spend his remaining years playing Fantasy Unlimited, where he eventually became the best player in the game. But all of that is meaningless when the game is set to end. As the only player left online, Cyrus watched it all come to an end. But what happens when you wake up only to find yourself still in the game? Or is it really still the same game?Do you rejoice?Do you lament?Or do you say: Fuck it! When given another chance to live his life, Cyrus moves forward without hesitation. But life was never meant to be easy and neither is your second. A/N: Mature tag added for possiblity of violence, sex scenes (not entirely sure if I can write one though), etc.; harem tag removed but not exactly sure yet Hi guys, I thought I'd try to write a book (obviously easier said than done). Don't actually know where I'm headed with this but thought it would be fun to try to get as far as I can. There is no set schedule whatsoever. Constructive criticism greatly appreciated.
8 126 - In Serial12 Chapters
Hurt People Hurt People | {Sanders Sides Angst + Slight Prinxiety and Demus}
Remus and Roman are two brothers that constantly bicker and argue with each other. They both have bruised egos at the end of everyday. When will it stop?Patton and Logan love each other, but their differences make it hard to see that they both have feelings for the other. Will it stop?Janus and Virgil both have the tiring struggle, burden, and stress of keeping their boyfriends happy and alive. Not to mention that it gets pretty ugly when they try and point the blame on the other. When will it all stop?Written before SVS Redux Status: Incomplete/Discontinued
8 186 - In Serial15 Chapters
Just Realize
Naya has been loving her best friend, Heather for years now and hates seeing Heather with Taylor, but still can't find the confidence in her to declare her love to her. Will an unexpected kiss shared between them make Naya realize that Heather has also been loving her secretly.
8 119

