《My System Hates Me》Tricky Ogre
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His head stared right up the Ogre’s nose. He thought, “So this is how it must feel to be a rabbit. Defenceless and tiny.” His wit had come to its limits.
“You help?” The ogre asked
“With what?” Jack asked.
“Wife is sick. Hooman smart, hooman help.” The ogre said, Jack had crawled further back, he refused to get another drop of snot on him.
“And if I say no?” Jack asked.
“Me hove snack.” The ogre said.
“If you picked a class you could probably escape.” The system intoned
“Oh shut up you,” Jack mumbled.
“Sure I’ll help you, where’s your wife.”
The ogre bent down further and grabbed Jack, careful not to clench too hard. Lifting him up and straightening his back, the ogre jogged towards his home. They travelled back into the green forest with tall trees. Jack heard no twittering, the birds were silent because of Ogre’s love for birds. Tasty little “snocks”.
The ogre stopped when they saw a piece of land that had been shot up, creating a small cave of sorts. Inside it laid lady ogre, she looked a lot paler than the male ogre. She was wheezing loudly. Ogre put Jack down beside her.
“you help?” The ogre asked Jack with a solemn tone.
“Inspect,” Jack said.
“Ogre ~ ape-like intelligence with strong and big bodies. This one is currently sick with the human flu and is in a nearly fatal state. It is cured by a number of healing spells and potions.
“Shop.”
Jack scrolled through the shop and tried to find a potion. He needed ten silvers for a simple-cure potion. He needed nine silvers for a simple-poisonous potion. Then again, the ogre helped him, even if he didn’t know it.
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“I can help you If you give me twenty silver. Jack said.
“I no twenty silver coins.” The ogre said.
“Get some then,” Jack said.
“If twenty coin you help wife?”
“Yes.”
The ogre ran away. He looked a lot more fierceome then before. Jack went and sat down beside the wife. She breathed in and sneezed a mouth load of snot at him. He was covered in it head to toe. He almost puked.
The system said. “I have come to terms with you delaying your class decision infinitely. You are here to beta test after all. We shall move onto the final stage. What type of main quest do you want to take?
“Main quests available.
Slay a dragon ~ simple.
Slay the king ~ mediocre
Slay the emperor ~ hard
Slay the demon king ~ Insane
Slay the king of gods. Zeus. ~ Monstrosity.”
“I pick the hardest quest of course. Slay the king of gods.” Jack answered, a big smile on his face.
“Quest has been selected. Good luck adventurer!“
It didn’t take long until the ogre came back all bloody and wounded. He held a bloody sack, which Jack presumed to be filled with coins, he threw the sack at Jack. Jack found the bag to be heavy.
He opened up his inventory and deposited the coins. The shop told him that he had thirty silver in total. He bought the cure potion and it materialized in his hands. He walked up the sick ogre and poured it into her gigantic mouth.
“Inspect “
“Ogre ~ ape-like intelligence with strong and big bodies. Cured.”
“Okay. I cured her.”
“Thanks.” The ogre said.
“She looks hungry. You food her now.”
Jack thought, “This tricky fucker, of course, he’d eat me after I finished.”
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“And if I don’t want to,” Jack said, and the ogre growled, showing his big bloody teeth.
“Okay. I "food" her. But before that. She will get sick again if you don’t do this…” Jack waited for a response.
“Do what?” He got the expected response
“You need to also drink a potion.”
“Which potion?”
Jack bought the poisonous potion and handed it to the ogre. The ogre gulped it down like sweet honey.
After the ogre gulped it down, he tried to spit it out. He pulled out his tongue and tried to wipe it clean. “Disgosting!” The ogre said. His, now slimy, hands wrapped around his stomach as it made a loud noise. He fell down on his knees, his eyes shone one last time before he collapsed. He still breathed. Heavy and slow breaths.
Arne walked over and kicked him, over and over, until he got a message.
“Ogre killed! 400 Xp gained.”
“Level up! +1 stat point.”
“Level up! +1 stat point.”
“Level up! +1 stat point.”
“Level up! +1 stat point.”
“Level up! +1 stat point.”
“Level up! +1 stat point.”
“Level up! +1 stat point.”
He looked over at the sick ogre. He respected the male ogre's attempt to con him too much to kill her. He walked off, the direction the ogre had gone. He figured that there must be civilization in this direction.
On his way there, he looked over the abilities he could purchase. He had 11 silvers he could spend. There was a lot of interesting combinations he could make. He picked an ability that would be good for fighting. Ten silvers disappeared.
“Class: Ninja. Aura slice ~ A ranged attack that will send an air slice towards the enemy. Cooldown 15 minutes. Damage: 15. “
A book appeared in his hands.
“Would the host like to learn this skill?” A window popped up.
“Yes.” Jack said.
The book turned into light and disappeared.
“Does this work with any books?” Arne asked the system.
“No” The system said.
“Which books does it work with?”
“Books written by the creator of said skill or store bought books.”
“Huh.” Arne said.
After about thirty minutes of walking through the forest, Arne found the road the Ogre had pillaged from. He saw a broken carriage, with two mauled guards and crushed guards on the floor. Three men stood in front of the carriage. They sported fat bellies and fine silk clothes.
Arne waved and walked up to them.
“Everything alright?” He asked.
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