《My System Hates Me》Escape!
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“Why not just pick a class. It will make everything so much easier.” The system pleaded.
“Hahaha, stupid system. The first rule to finding glitches is purposefully doing the opposite of whatever the game wants you to do. When that doesn’t work, you’ll have to get tricky.”
“But, a class won’t negatively impact you in any way. It’ll help you a lot.”
“It will also restrict my future options, which I don’t want.”
“...” The system sighed in desperation.
Jack figured that he wanted to test the commands he’d gotten. Maybe he could find an obvious exploit there.
“Inspect.” Jack said.
“Stone wall ~ A wall made out of stone.” A window popped up in his sight.
“Can I store the stone wall in the inventory?” He asked.
“No.” The system answered.
“Shop.” He said.
A window opened up in the middle of his sight. There was two categories, abilities and items. The shop worked on coins, he had none and couldn’t buy anything. The item list was long and expansive, containing weapons and potions of every sort. The ability list held an even longer list of all the different abilities he could buy.
“Wait. Can I learn any ability I want?”
“You’re restricted to the abilities of the class you’ve picked.” The system said.
“Interesting wording.” Jack thought out loud, “does that mean that I’m not restricted if I don’t pick a class.”
“Yes. But it doesn’t matter, you won’t get out of this box unless you pick a class.”
Jack’s kicks could make the rock slightly vibrate. He knew that there were people capable of destroying rocks. He tapped his finger against the rock to get a rough grasp of how thick the rock was. He’d guess about six centimetres.
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If he increased his strength enough, he bet he could smash through it. He took a deep breath and held it. The system continued pestering him about picking a class.
About six hours later, Jack could hold his breath for 20 minutes. He’d levelled up to six and had spent all his points on strength. The moment of truth came when he kicked the wall. It seriously vibrated. He kicked and kicked, but he couldn’t break the wall.
“Ding! +5 exp, +1 general kick.”
Jack thought out loud, “How could I be so stupid?” He hit his head. “I don’t have to increase my proficiency in one thing at a time.”
He jumped on one leg in a circle, whilst pinching himself, whilst singing, whilst kicking the air. The animals, outside the stone box, ran away scared by whatever monstrosity was inside. Others became more interested.
“Ding! +5 exp, +1 general kick.”
“Ding! +5 exp, +1 pain resistance.”
“Ding! +5 exp, +1 singing.”
“Ding! +5 exp, +1 coordination”
After two hours, he’d reached level 12. His throat was dry, blood dripped from where he’d pinched himself, his mind spun and his legs were exhausted. He opened up his status and invested all six points into strength.
His heart deafeningly thumped thrice, he orgasmed twice as the wonderful feeling spread through body. He laid down, he wondered if this was how heroin felt. It probably felt worse.
After his mind had stopped spinning and his legs didn’t feel as exhausted, he stood up and felt for the wall. Once he felt the cold surface, he backed up. He kicked it four times with everything he had. It shook and vibrated, but the vibrations died out.
He pulled his hair, backing up a few steps, he let out a quick frustrated scream. He said, “Think, think think. How can I overcome this? I have to get out of the stone box, Wait, reassess, why is that the goal? Do I need oxygen to survive? If I don’t break the wall, what else can I…”
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He heard another bang. This one came from the outside. Silence. Jack broke it by kicking the wall. He heard another bang, the wall shook more than it ever had. He kicked again, and received another bang, again and again, until the shaking wall cracked and fell.
Jack covered his eyes, the sudden light hurt. When he uncovered them, they were met by the sight of a snot-nosed ogre. He widely stared at Jack, as if he’d seen a ghost. His smile disappeared and his finger shot up and pointed at Jack.
“Hooman!” The ogre screamed.
Jack’s mind spun and spun, searching for a way to get out of this scenario. Fire, ogres are generally scared of fire. He pointed behind the ogre and screamed. “Fiiiiiireeeeeeeee!”
“Fire? Who-ere?”
The ogre took three steps to turn because he found turning his neck too complicated. When he realized that there was no fire, he took three more steps back, to find that the stone box was empty.
Jack ran like his CPU, overdrive. He jumped over the long and thick roots. He ran past old trees, stepping on fresh grass and moss. The forest opened up into a plain that stretched over green hills. He jumped into the plain, hiding in the tall wild grass. A snake waited for him there, it showed its teeth and hissed. Jack screamed at the myriad of colours and patterns as he rolled away. Luckily the snake didn’t attack.
The ogre heard his scream and rushed his way. Jack heard the loud steps coming in his direction, he started running through the grass. The ogre quickly caught up with Jack. Jack turned around.
“Fire!” He screamed once again, pointing behind the ogre.
“Fire? Who-ere?” The ogre said, he took three steps to turn around, he had been tricked again. Jack jumped into the tall grass the second the ogre looked away.
“Hooman, who-ere ore you?” The ogre walked around the tall grass. Jack heard his steps and prayed that he wouldn’t find him.
“Hooman I no hort you. you help me.” The ogre continued searching for Jack. Jack silently crawled away. He crawled military style, his stomach on the ground.
“Hooman, I see you. Stop worming.” Jack rolled around onto his back, the Ogre was bent over, staring right at him. The snot hanging of his nose dropped down and fell on Jack’s head.
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