“Honey, sit down.” Penelope says as she leads Leo to the couch and pushes him to sit. Penelope sits next to him and holds both of his hands in hers. “We have to talk.” She says seriously.

Leo's eyes widen. No! This can't be happening! He exclaims. “You're—” Leo begins to say before he begins to cough, his aggravation turning into a full coughing fit. Leo forcefully holds it down and looks at Penelope. “You're not breaking up with me, are you!?” He asks anxiously. He was currently very nervous. For some reason, he was very attracted to Penelope, so much so, that Leo would compare it to obsession. He wasn’t sure if she was just that hot, or if it had to do something with her being his first after becoming undead, but he knew that this would destroy him. If he was being honest, after those first few weeks as an undead, his soul felt like a desert; no feelings, no emotion. But when he finally purchased that experience package… His first memory of life after becoming undead was with Penelope, so it was not too much of a stretch that his feelings would be intense.

Penelope lets out a snort before laughing. “No, don’t be daft. This isn’t about that. This is about your dirty little habit.” She says, amused.

“Oh…” Leo says, calming himself. “This is about the explicit fanfiction. You’re probably right. I’ll try to ease up when writing about you.” He says, coming to a compromise.

Penelope furrows her brows. “Yes, I actually find that very weird. And you should calm down with that. At least try to be tasteful. But again, this isn’t about that.” She says.

Leo raises an eyebrow. “What is this about?” He asks, somewhat confused.

“What do you think this is about!? It’s about those dirty cancer sticks you’re always sucking on! Do you miss your mother’s breasts that much!? You know those will kill you, right!?” Penelope begins to berate. She found the habit absolutely disgusting, and it was certainly a feat of self-control for her to stay silent this long about it.

Leo’s eyes widen in realization, then, he begins to laugh unhindered. “That’s what this is about?” He exclaims, finding the matter a little funny. “What’s so wrong with cigarettes? Be honest, is it the taste?” He asks, not taking the matter seriously. As an undead, the cigarettes weren’t really harmful to him. To Leo, it was just food, or it was like masturbation; just something to make him feel good.

Anger appears on Penelope’s face at Leo’s carelessness. He clearly didn’t care too much about the matter and to Penelope, that was unacceptable. “Yes! It tastes horrible! Do you know how many moments that horrible taste has ruined for me!? But it’s not just that! It’s so unhealthy! I didn’t say anything previously because we were just getting to know each other, but you clearly intend to stick around. If that’s the case, I’m making my stand! If you continue to smoke, there’s no sex for you, mister!” Penelope yells, making her decision clear.

Leo’s eyes widen once again, but this time there was fear in his eyes. “Aw, c’mon. Don’t be that way, babe! It’s not that bad! How ‘bout I brush my teeth beforehand? That would be okay, right?” He begins to plead.

Penelope crosses her arms and turns her head away in clear defiance. “If you want to smoke, smoke. But you’ll have to live with the consequences.” She says firmly.

Leo’s head falls limp and he looks to the ground. For fuck’s sake, it isn’t even that bad! He complains. Leo lets out a sigh. “Alright. You win. No smoking, as the queen commands.” Leo says in defeat.

“Hmph! Good! I’m glad you see things my way!” Penelope says with a nod of her head as if this was the way things should be. “Tomorrow, I’ll buy you some nicotine gum. Or do you prefer the patches?” Penelope asks, intent on making sure that Leo quits for good.

Leo’s eyes brighten once again. “I think the patches. Those probably feel better, right?” Leo asks. Damn, I didn’t even think about that. But there’s probably an experience package for nicotine patches, right? No, I’m sure of it. Leo thinks with a smile.

Penelope raises an eyebrow. “What does feeling better have to do with it? This is about quitting, not feeling good! It’s about what’s more effective!” She says, a little mad that Leo’s focus wasn’t in the right place.

Leo nods along like an obedient child. “Yes, mom. You’re right. But the patches would probably be more effective, right?” He says with a mischievous grin.

Penelope gives him a suspicious look before letting out a sigh and giving in. “Fine, I’ll buy you some patches tomorrow. And don’t try to sneak any cigarettes either! I’ll be watching you like a hawk!” She says firmly.

Leo smiles. This could work out. He thinks, satisfied.