JAN 6th

I felt the shock and withdrawal in his muscles as I deeply but momentarily seized his lips between mine, sucking the pair. The struggling for release had eventually stopped. But by that time, I had let go and had fallen back onto the seat.

What have I done?

The permissiveness of my flawed persona leaked circumstantial evidence of a false proposition. What I had done was a blatant contradiction to everything I’ve protectively stood for. He finally cracked dawn to look up at me with an athwart glance. His natural mutinous character had been demolished to a confused whimpering tot. I glanced around me to see that we had drawn no special attention. The moment was far too swift. And for those who’d notice, dare not utter a word or react.

Cowed eyes he stared me down to ask, “Why did you do that?” he asks.“I imagine such a connubial act would be left to the day of my wedding.” He continued, and my heart tore painfully and slowly.“Or at least, to the day I finally got myself a girlfriend.”

“These past days of roller-coaster death scares have now become jaded. I know my strange ‘action’ must be quite puzzling for you, and I’m sorry. But the truth is,” I seemingly began to apologize. “I do not possess the answers which you are looking for, as I also do not understand what compelled me.”

We sat there, for what felt like forever in silence until the bell rang.

*All inmates please proceed back to your cell blocks*

We got up in silence, replaced our food trays and went back to our room, in complete silence. We didn’t even bother to say good night.

Unable to bounce back from what was, my gaiety had left my side and I found myself in condign mental solitude and chaos. I undressed and fled to my bed. As I lay there upright facing the ceiling, I submerged within the depths of my mind.

Alex…

*BANG*

*BANG*

*BANG*

The loud knocking yanked me from my nebulous drift. I twist and turn within the grasp of my quilt to find the clock behind me.

How long was I asleep?

JAN 7TH 6:45

Shit!

I overslept. In fact, more than that, I slept for 10 hours! It’s already morning and the wake-up alarm had already gone off. I hurried from my bed and opened the door to find a vexed guard on the verge of losing his temper.

“Your shift begins in 45 minutes!” He braked.

I needn’t respond, I felt. Instead, I quickly scampered to the bathroom to take a shower. When I was done, it suddenly dawned on me that Alex was nowhere in sight. I briskly walked to the lunch room and began scanning every crook and corner to find him.

Where are you?

“Hey…”

I jolted.

“I saved you a seat.” He snuck up on me.

Or did he? Perhaps I was too much in a frenzy to see he was right before me. In any case, I collected my meal and walked over to the table alongside him. We sat down. The awkward tension, though lessened was still quite evident.

((“Nick…” - “Alex…”)) We echoed, as we clearly both had a lot to say.

He resigned, and then gestured at me to go first.

“I’m really sorry about yesterday. I had no right to do what I did, and I will never…”

“Stop!” he bluntly chided. “Just stop, please.”

We found ourselves at a standstill. My mind, unable to determine or surmise what was going through his, threw in the towel and waited for his verbal scolding.

“Don’t apologize…” he began.

Here it comes.

“Don’t apologize.” He repeated as he brushed his hair to the side behind his ear. “Next time, won’t you…Just ask, first.”