Traejan

Traejan shifted uncomfortably on the hard bench, stared down by the dark Consortia woman. He felt a painful tightness in his chest, as she forced him to relive the worst event in his life.

She’d sent him back there, back to the tundra. Traejan stared at Althea, trying to match her penetrating gaze. He remembered the night, but… only in snatches, not as though it was yesterday. He remembered the cold, damp wind blowing from the south, up from the plains, over them, towards the ice. That should have been the first warning. The winds normally blew down from the glaciers.

“Where were you?”

There was so much to do, after securing their position. They had to locate buried entrances, map the underground facility accurately; all the while, keeping watch for any kind of mech presence. He was… on the outside rim of the ruins – working his way in.

Find the trilium. Pack the trilium. High tail it back to the ice. Live for another day.

“What were you doing, when things started?”

“I was… radar surveying the ruins for their underground foundations;” holding the heavy emitter, the readings on its screen, symbols glowing showing the pattern of the structures beneath; recording the results, comparing with the info they’d been given. There were several levels extending all the way to the bedrock, offering tantalizing hints of what he was looking for, “storage vaults, energy sources.”

Without any sign of an imminent threat, they all had split up into five set of pairs – based on the layout of the ruins – five subterranean extensions, five groups.

“Who were you with?”

Who was he with, back then?

“I was,” he tried to tell her. “I was…”

Traejan looked at Althea. She was staring at him intently with those brown, alien eyes.

“I was with–”

“Kaelin,” he forced her name out. The effort made him gasp, and he breathed and breathed again, until the stress subsided.

“Do you know what I did?” he asked the Consortian woman.

She didn’t seem to understand, shook her head.

“No,” she said calmly, evenly, not responding to his distress. “That’s why I’m asking.”

“I left her.”

Left her there to die – left her there dead, unburned. Left here there – hadn’t been able to return, not even for her. The anguish rose in him again, the anger, the frustration, and the guilt.

He needed air; need to breathe, filled his needy lungs deeply, again and again and again – looked back at Althea. Why didn’t she hate him? Why didn’t she react with scorn, disgust?

He couldn’t take it anymore – jumped to his feet. She looked up at him, reacting the way he wanted, the way he expected – with shock.

“I left her there!” he shouted his pain. “I said I would never leave her!”

So many times he’d promised Kaelin, whether she could hear him or not. She would have never left him – not like that – never!

Then she was standing. He felt her grip on his arms, gently pushing him back down, telling him to calm down, sit down, take it easy. It was over – long over. He felt her body close to his, the smell of her, the touch of her breath, light and sweet. He couldn’t look at her, shut his eyes tight as he could as he was forced back down to the bench. The pain faded. His breathing slowed.

Althea let go of him.

“What happened Traejan?”

He put his head in his hands, remembering the chaos – the screams.

He looked back over at her, wiped the blurriness, wetness from his eyes. She held that sympathetic expression he’d seen before. He didn’t see any hate at all.

“It was crazy,” he told her. “They were shouting, over the transceivers, over and over.”

He was back there again.

“Kona screaming ‘what are you doing’,” he relayed the horror. “Dray yelling ‘look out, stay away.’ I can’t remember what the others were shouting about. They were all shouting at once.”

There was the sound of gunfire, repeated, followed by more shouts, screams.

Kaelin had looked at him, worried, alarmed, told him they had to move. He agreed – ran – following her over to the northwest quadrant of the ruins.

“We got to them as fast as we could.”

By the time he’d reached them, his legs were heavy as stone.

“But it was too late,” he finished. “We were too late.”