《Redemption's Rose》4 - My life is yours
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I walked to the house belonging to the purple clad woman slowly, unwillingness creeping over me despite my previous oath of resolve. I remember the beautiful woman well, thanks to the cognisance of the Sen’o that committed the unforgivable act. He was perfectly sober and had spent an hour working himself up to go ahead with it.
It only happened a couple of days before he was killed so it was the freshest memory in my head. The depraved look on Son's face and the terrified look on hers is not something I will forget soon. I would need to make her smile at least a trillion times before I could even think about moving on.
If I can’t do that then I’ll lay down my life, that was the resolve I had. Although it would not mean much for me giving my reincarnation and that the Lai Sen’o who had committed the deed was already dead, it would at least mean something to her if she chose to accept my life as payment.
My pace increased slightly, my mind made up and my head clear. The street in front of me looked less daunting and the prospect of taking responsibility drove my feet forward. I was still hiding my face as much as possible, avoiding getting caught or killed before I could even make amends.
Luckily for me we lived far away from any of the city's hustle and bustle so I was left all alone with my thoughts until I reached her door.
It stared at me with pressure I’ve never experienced, I was more terrified now than facing off against celestial experts. I felt like if I knocked on this door it would tear my arm off. Figuring I would deserve it anyway, I decided to knock.
“Just a moment!” came a shout from inside.
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I realised in that moment that my coming alone was probably not a good idea. She opened the door with a smile until she saw my face.
She froze, her face locked in a scared expression I had never experienced.
I couldn’t help but feel like I’d made another mistake, showing up alone, whilst she herself is also alone. The implications were something that I had not even considered.
In order to rectify the situation I immediately got to my knees and laid my head against the floor.
“Please, don’t be afraid. I am here to apologise, not to harm you.” I said, projecting my voice a little considering I was currently speaking with my face to the floor.
I could not see her face, only her feet, which remained in place. She was silent, and it lasted a good few minutes.
Eventually I broke the silence.
“I have come to apologise. I am not looking for forgiveness as what I have done is unforgivable. I am only looking to, by whatever means necessary, alleviate some of the pain that I have caused you. If that means to give my life, then so be it. My life is yours to take.”
Again, silence. I had become wholly sure that whatever I could possibly do even considering my several lifetimes worth of knowledge could never make up for what Seno, no, I had done to her.
“I don’t want anything from you.” she said finally. She sniffed, I couldn’t see but it sounded like she was crying. “What are you even doing here? I don’t even know what to say…”
She choked up as she finished the sentence.
“I am sorry, I hadn’t thought this through, I realise now I’ve only burdened you even further.” I said, regretfully.
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“Are you Seno?” she asked.
“What?” I suddenly coughed out.
“Are you Seno?” she repeated quickly after.
“I am!” I maintained my case, I have gone by many names but currently, I am Sen’o. That’s how reincarnation works.
“Don’t misunderstand, I already know that you are not Sen’o. I was hoping you would be a man and admit it. How could you think I would believe this farce?”
It was my turn for silence. Of course she was correct but admitting to being a reincarnator is a great taboo and something that could put me in unimaginable amounts of danger.
“I’m a reincarnator.” I said finally. “This boy’s memories provided me with the situation, I am here to take responsibility for my actions.”
“His actions,” she corrected me.
“My actions,” I said, firmly. “I am now Sen’o, past and future.”
“You are a reincarnator?” she mused. “So, Sen’o is dead?”
“The previous inhabitant of this body has perished, yes.” I confirmed. Now that the cat was out of the bag it made sense to give this woman as much closure as possible.
“How did he die?”
“He was ambushed by martial experts after insulting a prestigious young master.”
I heard her smirk. “That’s about how I thought he’d go out. I thought many times about doing it myself.”
“You still can,” I said, reminding her that Seno was right in front of her.
“Enough of that. I want to know who you are…” she said. trailing off at the end as I saw her bend down and pick my face off the ground. She wiped the dust from the ground off my sweaty forehead with her dress. “A reincarnator,” she said again. “Your kind is rare. We have not had one in these parts for a long time now.”
“You believe me?” I asked simply.
“Search your memory, reincarnator. Do you see Sen’o as the kind of man to take responsibility for his actions, let alone prostrate himself in front of someone.” she smiled at me. I could see her face properly now. Tear lines stained her face, she had a lightly freckled nose and a wide smile that I could tell she was forcing.
“I don't,” I said weakly.
She paused a little, seemingly mulling something over. “So, tell me.” she began. “If the person that raped you not three days ago came over to your house to apologise, how would you deal with it?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea.”
“Nor do I,” she said as she held my face, quite tightly. “Then,” she continued. “You find that the man apologising, is not even the man that you first assumed and is in fact an entirely different soul wearing the skin of the man who raped you. What then?” I stayed silent this time. Fully knowing there was no answer I could provide. She let go of my face which she had been squeezing and tried to pull me to my feet. Upon discovering that I was far too heavy she simply stood up. “I’ve just made tea, would you like some?”
She asked but she had already walked inside leaving the door ajar. Given my proclamation that my life belonged to her I assumed there was only one option here. I walked inside, closing the door behind me.
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