“Question number three hundred and forty-nine: ‘Have you now, or have you ever been a member of a system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object that is NOT one of the Twelve Gods?’”

You stared down at the paper in confusion. “What does that even mean?”

“Blrb,” your squid friend explained.

“A cult? Well why didn’t they just say that?”

He shrugged. “Blrb, blrb?”

“No I haven’t!” You shot Tentacled Joe -- you finally decided on his name -- a glare. “What makes you think that I would be anywhere near a cult?”

“Blrb!” he argued, flailing his tentacles for emphasis.

“Well by that logic you’d be a member of a cult too.”

“...blrb,” he admitted.

You stopped writing. “Wait, seriously? Why?”

“Blrb, blrb!”

“Oh, that’s no excuse!”

“Um, excuse me? Miss?”

You looked up and found yourself looking at a familiar face. It was almost hard to recognize him without the blood, burned clothes, and half bald head. “Kyle?”

“Um, yes. Hello!” He gave you an awkward, yet adorable wave. He was wearing the exact same clothes as last time, aside from something underneath his shirt. When you looked closer, you noticed that it was chainmail.

“Kyle, it’s so nice you see you again! Come on, sit down,” you said, smiling. And it really was. You might have only known Kyle for all of a few hours, but the kid made an impression on you. Brave and nice, if a bit twitchy.

You gestured towards a seat on your left. “I’m sorry about not meeting up with you after that whole Cerberus thing. I’ve just been too busy trying to find a job.”

“Oh uh, it’s fine,” he said as he sat next to you. You noticed that he was sneaking glances at Tentacled Joe, his eyes taking on a familiar shine that he had when he asked you about your stone skin. His hand twitched in the squid’s direction, as though he wanted to touch Tentacled Joe, before shoving it back on his lap where his sword was.

You noticed that Kyle had replaced his sword, though he didn’t seem to have a sheath to go with it. It looked brand new, and more than a little cheap. “Um, I’ve been trying to find you for a while now.”

“Really? Why?” You frowned. “Is it because I have to pay damages or something?”

Jesus, a bill is the last thing you needed.

Kyle shook his head. “No! Nothing like that! I-I just wanted to thank you. For saving me.” He had an earnest expression on his face, one filled with gratitude.

You immediately started to feel awkward. “You already thanked me, man. And it’s no problem. Really.”

“Still,” he insisted. “I wanted to thank you again. And uh, I wanted to ask you something.” He noticed your piles of paperwork. “Um, when you’re not busy of course! I don’t want to get in your way or anything --”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m almost done anyway.”

It actually didn’t take as long as you thought it would, since the vast majority of the questions you had to answer were things that didn’t apply to you. Things like elvish or dwarven ancestry (which you probably didn’t have), descriptions of your job and “class” (which you also didn’t have), what particular god you worship (none currently), whether or not you’ve fought in a war (you didn’t think so), the kind of magic you’re most familiar in using (none?), and whether or not you’ve been blessed by one of the Twelve Gods (you sure as hell didn’t feel blessed) were the kind of questions you’ve been working through. You’ve basically been marking “no” for dozens of pages now. “I just have to send these up to the receptionist and --”

“I’ll do it!” he said, standing up and almost knocking his chair over. “I-I mean, it’s the least I can do. Since you, you know, saved my life and all.”

You were uncomfortable again. “You don’t have to keep thanking me. You helped me out just as much as I helped you out.” You handed him the papers. “But fine. Here.”

He gave you an awkward smile. “R-right. Sure. B-be right back!”

“Blrb?” Tentacled Joe asked he watched Kyle stumble his way over to the booth. “Blrb, blrb?”

“Don’t be an ass, Joe. He’s a nice guy.” You winced slightly when you saw Kyle bump into a waitress, almost sending the papers everywhere. He gave the waitress a stuttered apology, his face red with embarrassment, even as he struggled to keep all of your papers in order. “A bit clumsy though. I hope he doesn’t mess up my paperwork…”

“Hey. Are you that girl Winters has been talking about? The one with the Stone Skin Skill?”

A tall man suddenly stepped into your view. When you leaned back to look at him properly, you noticed that he was bald and bulky, with biceps the size of your head. Scars criss crossed all over his face and the top of his head, some of them looking pretty raw and recent. He was wearing dirty, almost rusty armor that looked splattered with blood and other liquids you really didn’t want to think about. Held in his left hand was a mace half your size.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Tentacled Joe’s flame aura get slightly brighter. You felt a few tentacles wrap around your legs under the table.

“Yeah that’s me,” you said casually. “Why?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “You look… a lot younger than he said you were.” His eyes lingered on your dress, specifically the little lace frills on the sleeves and bottom edges. You had thought the dress was a bit childish when John first gave it to you, but it wasn’t like you could complain at the time. You were kinda regretting keeping silent now. “You’re applying to be an Adventurer?”

“Yeah,” you said slowly. “Why, is there a problem?”

“You plan on being an Adventurer when you’re wearing that?” he asked. “No armor or weapons or nothing?” He glanced at Tentacled Joe then back at you. He looked judgemental. “Just your elemental familiar?”

“Uh, no. I planned on getting some stuff after I got all this paperwork figured out.” Getting a weapon and some proper clothes and armor would really dip into your limited funds. Still, it was better than dying in a ditch somewhere. Or running around fighting off monsters in a dress and flats because you were too stingy.

On a whim, you asked, “You wouldn’t happen to know a good place, would you?”

He stared at you for an uncomfortably long time, long enough that you considered getting up and going to a different table. Just when you were about to do so, he abruptly sat down in front of you, letting his mace drop onto the table with a loud *BANG*.

You tensed up. “What are you --”

“If you ask the Guild they’ll tell you to go Trader’s place. He sells most of the things you need to get started. Even works for the Guild, so he knows all the ins and outs.” He leaned forward. “But if I were you, I’d go to Dan’s place. It’s right in the center of town, near the fountain. Real cheap and with a lot more weapons and armor. You won’t get a discount like you will at Trader’s place, but his stuff lasts you longer. Less chance of breaking too.”

You felt your eyebrows touch the top of your forehead. You weren’t expecting actual advice. “Oh. Uh, thanks?”

He nodded. “If I were you I’d find some sturdy boots, and some long sleeve shirts and pants. Put your hair up too. You don’t want any monsters pulling at it while you’re fighting.”

He reached into his pocket and took out a well worn but still functional hair band. “Here, you can have this. It’s one of my daughter’s.”

“Wow. Uh, thanks man.” Feeling both surprised and a bit touched, you immediately used the band to put your hair up in a ball. “That’s... actually pretty sweet of you.”

He nodded solemnly. “I don’t believe in letting kids like you be Adventurers. A lot of them end up dead before their first quest, too dumb and hero blind to realize what kind of danger they’re getting into. Usually I try to direct them towards something safer. Less risky. But I know that isn’t the case with you and your curse.”

You tensed. “Did the receptionist --”

He nodded. “Don’t hold it against her. It’s not too often when a child walks into the Guild and says she wants to be an Adventurer. Usually they’re sixteen, or fourteen in Kyle’s case. Old enough to have a little bit of experience under their belt. And while I can tell you do have a few tricks of your own, what with the Cerberus and this little fella,” he gestured towards Tentacled Joe, “it won’t be enough if you seriously plan on being an Adventurer. So she told me about you and asked me to give you a bit of advice.”

“Ah.” You kinda wanted to be mad, but it wasn’t like you didn’t understand. And you really did appreciate the help. After all, it wasn’t like you knew much about adventuring. “Well, any more advice for me mister...” you trailed off.

“Ben. Ben Summers.”

“Nice to meet you.” You held out a hand and he shook it. “Really wish I could remember my name so I could tell you, but you know. Amnesia and all that.”

He arched an eyebrow, but didn’t comment.

You and Ben spent a few minutes talking about the sorta things you’d need to look out for if you wanted to be an Adventurer. Most of it was common sense stuff: don’t get too cocky while on a quest, always make sure to keep your weapon handy, run if things get too dicy, things like that. He seemed particularly insistent on you getting yourself some armor, a helmet especially.

“Always have your helmet on. Especially if you’re a mage.” He had a stormy expression on his face when he said this, his eyes looking as though they were miles away. He was clutching his mace so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “I can’t tell you how many young Adventurers like yourself died because of a blow to the head. That’s all it takes, really. A single strike in the wrong place and your life just stops right then and there.”

He closed his eyes. “Lost so many friends that way.”

You weren’t sure what to say to that. Were you supposed to say sorry? Give him a pat on the arm? Tell him you understood even though you didn’t? You had no idea what to say to make it better.

So you kept silent and waited for Ben to collect himself on his own. Thankfully, he managed to get himself together after a few minutes. Something told you that he was used to reminiscing like this.

“Sorry about that.” He sniffed. “Anyway, I’d say get yourself a party to cover your back, but that isn’t possible for you. Your curse makes you a liability in combat; I wouldn’t know many adventurers willing to take the risk to join up with you.” He looked frustrated. “I’d usually be willing to help, but I have something important to do today. Something I can’t put off, that’ll last me about three months. Unless you’re willing to wait?”

You shook your head. “I’m getting kicked out of my place in a week. And with the money I have, I only have about a month before Tentacled Joe and I end up on the streets.”

Ben tsked. “Damn. Then how about --”

“I sent it in!” Kyle plopped into the seat beside you, looking pleased with himself. “The receptionist told me to tell you that it’ll take her an hour to get you all set up and that since you didn’t put down a name, she was gonna get the Computing Orb to randomly pick one for you.”

Oh yeah, your name. You left it blank so you could fill it in later and then completely forgot about it.

You shrugged. Oh well. Hopefully your chosen name isn’t something stupid.

Ben nodded at him. “Kyle. Nice to see you.”

“Ben!” Kyle’s eyes lit up. “H-hi! Um, how’s it going?”

“Good. You wearing armor?”

“Uh-huh.” He lifted his shirt, revealing his chainmail. “It feels a bit weird wearing it. A little heavy.”

“Mm. And your helmet?”

Kyle’s eyes darted around the room. “Uhh…”

“Get a helmet.” Ben’s tone had no room for argument.

“R-right…” He gave Ben a sheepish smile before addressing you. “So! U-um, do you need a party? I’m not with anyone right now, and someone with your kind of Skill would make quests a lot easier. N-not that I’m trying to make you do all the work or anything! Um --”

You shrugged. “Sure man. Tentacled Joe and I could use some help. We’ve never done any quests or anything like this before.” You think.

He gave you a smile that reminded you of puppies and small kittens. “Great! Do you wanna start now or later?”

You stood up. “We might as well start now. But Tentacled Joe and I need to get some supplies first. Wanna come with? We don’t exactly know our way around town.”

“S-sure!” He stood up with you, though not before giving Ben an awkward wave. “Nice to see you Ben.”

Ben simply nodded. “Stay safe. Both of you.”

You thanked him and left the Guild with your new party member and Tentacled Joe in tow.

Dan’s place -- otherwise known as Dan’s GearMart -- was a battered looking building that really stood out against the well built stores and clean walkways. The wooden walls were old and worn, the windows looked like they hadn’t been cleaned in years, and there was this weird dusty/moldy smell coming from the area. It honestly looked like it would collapse at any second.

The inside was partially cleaner, and was a lot bigger than it looked from the outside. At the very least, the smell wasn’t as strong and the shelves filled with merchandise weren’t covered in dirt, dust, or mold.

Much like Ben told you, there were a lot of weapons and armor of all different types, shapes, and sizes. Swords bigger than you were tall, double sided axes that looked sharp enough to split diamonds, spears that looked like they were made out of rubber, throwing knife sets, flails that glittered, and little mini bows that seemed to be built for either children or people very, very small. There was armor that looked to be made out of steel, armor made out of bronze, armor that looked like it was made out of a weird sort of leather, and what looked like several metal bikini sets.

There were normal clothes too, though a lot of it was more practical. Pants, shirts, socks, underwear, boots, and coats all in the same beige color. No cute pictures of cats or oddly adorable squids on them, which was disappointing but unsurprising. It was clear the shop valued practicality over fashion.

Sitting at the counter was an elderly man, who looked to be at least eighty years old. He was wearing a pair of wire glasses and was reading a thick book. On a plate next to the book was a sandwich and some lemonade. He gave the three of you a quick glance when you walked in -- his eyes hovering over Tentacled Joe in particular -- before going back to his reading.

You tugged on one of Tentacle Joe’s tentacles. “Don’t set anything on fire, alright?”

“Blrb!” he hissed.

“Just making sure.” You turned towards Kyle, who was looking through a shelf full of potions. You had no idea what any of them did, though you did recognize the health potion that guard used on him. “You planning on getting anything?”

“Just some health potions. You?”

“The same I guess.” You eyed some of the shelves filled with armor. “Ben kept telling me to get some armor, so I guess I’ll get that too. You want any Tentacled Joe?”

“Blrb,” he said, shaking his head. “Blrb, blrb.”

“Really?” You squinted at him. “You don’t look all that durable to me.”

“Blrb!” he insisted. He flexed his tentacles for emphasis. “Blrb, blrb, blrb, blrb.”

You shrugged. “Well if you say so.”

“Hey. Um. If it’s not too much to ask? How did you get an elemental familiar?” Kyle asked. “I didn’t think it was possible without… you know…” he trailed off, giving you a look full of sympathy and pity.

You had told Kyle all about your lack of System access on the way to Dan’s GearMart, along with the loss of your stone skin ability. You figured he might as well know what he was getting into right off the bat instead of finding out in the middle of a fight or something. And if he decided not to partner up with you… well, whatever. You wouldn’t blame him.

Surprisingly enough, the knowledge that you had a massive handicap and had lost the one ability that might be useful in a combat situation made Kyle all the more determined to partner up with you. He said it was the least he could do after you saved his life -- though you got the sense that it was more because he thought you’d get yourself killed if he didn’t. Which was irritating, but probably true.

“I went to the church and one of those priests told me to touch that orb thing. When I did, Tentacled Joe appeared and burned the place down,” you said casually.

“Blrb.”

“Sorry, accidentally burned the place down.” You rolled your eyes. “I wanted to leave him at first, but he weaponized his innate cuteness against me. So now I let him follow me around and eat my food.”

Tentacle Joe tugged at your arm. You noticed that while eight of his eyes were focused on you, two of them were eyeing a stray cat outside the window. “Blrb, blrb.”

“We’ll eat when we get back to the stables, alright?” you said. “And no, you can’t eat any cats. Why do I have to keep telling you this?”

“Blrb,” he whined.

“So he’s not your familiar?” Kyle asked.

“Ehhh… define ‘familiar’.”

“Uh, an animal or a monster that you’ve formed a binding contract with. I think,” he said, looking a bit unsure. “It’s a mage thing.”

“Well I’m not a mage and I didn’t form a contract with Tentacled Joe.” You paused. “I didn’t, did I?”

“Blrb.” Tentacled Joe shook his head.

“So I guess you can say… he’s my pet?”

Tentacled Joe looked insulted. “Blrb!”

“Alright, alright! He’s my partner or whatever. We hang out a lot.” You shrugged.

“O...kay.” Kyle was giving Tentacled Joe a more cautious look now. “And he came... from a Computing Orb?”

“Yep,” you said, popping the “p”. “It’s part of the curse. Everytime someone tries to use that appraisal thing or I use one of those orbs, something weird or random happens. I have no idea why, but it’s been a total pain in the ass.”

Kyle stopped looking at the swords on the shelves to give you a scandalized expression. “Don’t -- you can’t say something like that!”

You arched an eyebrow. “Like what?”

“Like -- I mean -- nevermind.” He made an obvious attempt to change the subject. “So, what weapon are you getting?”

“Probably a bat or a club or something.” You had asked Ben back in the Guild about weapons and he suggested that you’d get something basic like that. Said that swords cost too much money and take way too much skill to properly use for a beginner. “Now where is that chainmail…”

You ended up buying a whole new set of Adventurer clothes -- long sleeve shirt, pants, underwear, warm socks, fingerless gloves, and sturdy boots just like Ben suggested -- along with some chainmail armor and a deadly looking spiked club. You also bought a couple of health potions, as well as a couple of green stamina potions just in case.

The helmet was the tricky part, since a lot of the helmets you saw restricted your vision in a very disconcerting way. You ended up having to ask the store clerk about it and settled on a bronze, hat-like helmet with flaps on the back and sides to protect your neck and ears. It looked weird as hell on you, but beggars can’t be choosers.

You had asked Tentacled Joe if he needed any armor or weapons or anything, but he just waved his tentacles at you and went back to staring at the cats outside. You kept a hand on one of his tentacles just in case he decided to make a break for it.

Your entire set of purchases cost you a steel coin, two nickel coins, two copper coins, and five bronze coins. John had given you a quick run down on the local currency and what each coin meant a while ago, so you had an idea of how much your Adventurer supplies cost: a good amount (around seventy or eight dollars if you had to guess) but not too much. Certainly not as much as you were expecting.

“Really wish I went here sooner,” Kyle muttered to himself. “The shop at the Guild costs twice as much.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Kyle scratched the back of his head and looked away. “A friend recommended the place to me. She works there at the Guild, so…” he trailed off.

It was late into the afternoon when the three of you arrived back at the Guild. The place was more crowded than before, with Adventurers talking, laughing, eating, and drinking all over the place. A few of them were eyeing your little group as you reached the counter, though thankfully no one tried to do anything.

The receptionist handed you a card. “This is your Adventurer Card. It has your chosen name, age, species, Class, Job, and your Ranking. All Adventurers start out as Rank F and work their way up to Rank E, D, C, B, A, and possibly even S. As a Rank F, you can only take quests that are Rank F, or one Rank above. Every quest you take must be approved by a Guild receptionist, who will then consider whether or not you are capable of taking said quest. Repeatedly trying to take a quest that is more than one Rank above your own will incur penalties. Five penalties and your Adventurer’s license will be suspended and possibly revoked.”

You stared at the red card. It had a picture of your face on it.

Huh. So that’s what you look like.

Pale skin, black hair, pink lips, button nose, a young doll-like face -- it was no wonder people sometimes treated you like a child. You clearly looked the part of a cute, adorable child no older than twelve years old. The only thing that wasn’t cute about you was your eyes.

They were black. Blacker than your hair, which was really saying something. Outlined around the pupil of your eye was a single purple ring. By itself it probably wouldn’t have been too strange, but when contrasted against your doll-like features and pale skin, your eyes stood out. They looked… intense.

Next to your picture was your card information.

WESTER CITY ADVENTURER’S GUILD

Name: Roulette Random

Rank: F

Age: 12

Species: Human

Class: None

Job: Adventurer

Quest Successes: N/A

Quest Failures: N/A

Level: N/A

Stats: N/A

Skills: N/A

Blessings: N/A

Magic: N/A

Spells: N/A

Contracts/Bindings: Fire Elemental -- Aquatic.

“Roulette Random?” you read, unable to hide the disbelief in your voice. “Seriously?”

Jesus, it sounded like the kinda name you’d give a shitty superhero. Kyle had said that they’d choose your name for you, but you didn’t think it would be this bad.

The receptionist looked apologetic. “The name was chosen at random by the Computing Orb. Normally if you wished to change the information on your card, it would only take a quick scan of a Computing Orb and an Appraisal. However, due to your lack of System connection, the process will take several hours as well as cost a fee of --”

You sighed. “Just -- nevermind. Am I allowed to take quests now?”

The receptionist gave you a professional smile. You noticed that she looked a bit more put together compared to how she was a few hours ago. “Of course. Allow me to lead you to the questing rooms.”

The receptionist led you, Kyle, and Tentacled Joe through a red door next to the receptionist booth, one that was labeled “QUESTS” in big black letters. Inside that room you saw eight more doors, six of which were labeled the letters “A” through “F”, while a seventh was labeled “S”. At the far end of the hallway, you saw a single black door with the letter “X” painted in white.

The receptionist took the three of you through the “F” door. Inside you saw a large crowd of Adventurers, though they looked nothing compared to the Adventurers you saw in the Guild room. Those Adventurers all looked strong, competent, experienced, and personalized. These Adventurers looked a lot like you and Kyle: young, inexperienced, weak, and wearing the same brown Adventurer clothing you and he were wearing. Every now and then you’d see someone who stood out against the crowd, but for the most part everyone looked the same.

They were all crowded around a bunch of bulletin boards. Pinned to the boards were pieces of paper -- quests and jobs from the looks of it. Weirdly enough, the pieces of paper were glowing a faint red.

The receptionist explained, “Upon these boards are the quests fit for Rank F Adventurers. You pay pick up to three at a time. Once you pick a quest to your liking, simply take it up to the reception desk for approval. After being approved, you are expected to complete the quest. Complete the quest and your success will be marked down on your Adventurer’s Card. If you have enough successful quests, then you will be considered for a Rank increase. Failure to complete a quest will be a mark on your Adventurer’s Card. Too many failed quests at a time will cause your Adventurer's Card to be suspended, revoked, or Ranked down. So please, only take what you can handle.”

With that, she gave you a small nod and left.

“Come on. We should start you off on something small.” Kyle led you and Tentacled Joe over to the bulletin board with the least amount of people. He gently nudged past a couple of people before ripping a piece of paper off the board and handing it to you. There was a flash of light before the paper he ripped off was replaced with another one.

“Here you go! It should be easy enough for you to do.”

GATHERING HERBS

Quest Giver: Adventurer’s Guild

Quest Rank: F

Duration: Indefinite

Request: We of the Adventurer’s Guild would like some yofa leaves for our potions and ingredients. The yofa leaves are usually found outside the gates of Wester City, within the Rue Forest.

Reward: 1 Copper Coin per four yofa leaves.

Included with the page was a picture of the yofa leaf. It looked a lot like a normal leaf only purple, with red polka dots.

“I know it’s not much, but it’s a start. A-and you won’t have to fight or anything! The Rue Forest hasn’t had a monster spawn in there in years. So don’t worry.”

Kyle gave you a reassuring pat on the back. “And if something bad happens, me and Joe here will protect you! I’m --!” He visibly deflated. “W-w-well, I’m not the strongest guy around, but I know my way around a sword! I have the Sword Skill to prove it! T-took me a while to get it actually… and it’s only Level One right now s-so...”

He trailed off, looking lost in his own unhappy little world.

You glanced at Tentacled Joe. The squid gave you a Look then nudged you towards Kyle.

“Uhh…” You opened your mouth to say something reassuring, then closed it. Reached out a hand to pat him on the back, then let it drop. Finally you just said, “We should head out before it gets dark.”

The squid sighed. “Blrb.”

“R-right! Sorry!” Kyle shook his head like a dog before striding determinately towards the door. “Come on! Let’s complete your first quest as an Adventurer! It might not be the most important quest in the world, but it’s still your first quest! It’ll be exciting no matter what!”

“Blrb!” Tentacled Joe agreed, raising his tentacles in the air.

The sudden turn in Kyle’s mood kinda caught you off guard. “Uh, sure! I guess.”

Kyle was a lot more cheerful as he led you and Tentacled Joe through the city, and started chatting away at you and Tentacled Joe. He seemed to really have a fascination with the squid, and asked him a bunch of questions about his race. Specifically about the skills specific to Tentacled Joe’s species.

“Most species -- aside from humans -- have a Species Specific Skill that only members of their species have. What kind of Skills do flame elementals have? Something like Fire Immunity, or Fire Manipulation, or Fire Eating? Do you have the Lava Manipulation Skill? Hellfire Manipulation? Soulfire Manipulation?”

“Blrb. Blrb, blrb, blrb.”

Kyle was practically bouncing on his toes. “Well?! What did he say?”

“He said he had the first two and a little bit of lava manipulation. He also has something called ‘iron eater’,” you said, making quotes with your fingers.

Kyle let out a high pitched squeeing noise. “That’s so cool!”

“Blrb,” Tentacled Joe said, waving a tentacle modestly. You weren’t fooled though; you could tell that the squid was basking in the attention.

“What about a Telepathy Skill? Is that how you and Roulette --”

Your eye twitched. God, that sounds ridiculous.

“-- talk to each other? Or is it a Spell? Or maybe a Blessing?”

“Blrb,” he said, waving a tentacle. He gestured towards you. “Blrb, blrb, blrb.”

“He said no, and that I just know him enough to tell. He said that you’d probably figure out later if you got to know him more.”

Kyle’s eyes were shining. “So cool!”

It was really starting to get late by the time your little party reached the city gates. The gate guards were much more friendly towards you now that you had a proper ID and an Adventurer’s Card. A quick warning not to go too far into the forest and once again, you found yourself outside the city walls.

“The yofa leaves should be a few meters away from the path,” Kyle said as he guided the two of you through the forest. You made sure to keep one hand on your spiked club and keep a firm grip on the strap of your backpack with the other. Behind you Tentacled Joe kept his flame aura at a warm and steady glow; hot enough for you to sweat a bit, but not hot enough to set the trees on fire. “A lot of Rank F Adventurers pick through these woods, so we might need to go farther out -- there!”

A few feet away you saw dozens upon dozens of yofa leaves clustered together in the dirt. The ground was covered in them; some of them were even attached to the trees. And in the center of them was a small, almost metallic looking flower. It looked a lot like a daisy.

“Huh. I’ve never seen that kind of flower before,” Kyle said, stepping forward to get a closer look. “Maybe a blacksmith left this in the forest?”

“Nah man, look.” You pointed at the steel daisy’s stem. “It’s rooted in the ground. I think it grew here.”

“Huh,” he said again. “I wonder what kind of flower it is? And what kind of metal is it made from?” He took another step forward.

You stared at the flower. It looked like a normal flower -- albeit made of metal. And for all you knew, these sorts of flowers were common in this world.

Still… something about this didn’t sit right with you. A strange metal flower, surrounded by the leaves that a lot of newbie Adventurers usually end up harvesting?

It could just be a normal flower… but why was it the only one here? A quick glance around showed no other flowers like it; just lots and lots of yofa leaves. And it was right smack in the center of them all.

“Kyle, maybe we should leave it alone. We’re here for the leaves, remember?” You gave the flower a suspicious look. “Plus, for all we know it might be poisonous. Or cursed. Or a trap. Or sentient and pissed off.”

“Language,” he said absentmindedly.

You blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Do you think this flower’s made of mithril? It looks a lot like the swords I saw in the Guild’s shop a week ago.

“Blrb? Blrb, blrb, blrb?” Tentacled Joe said, leaning over your shoulder.

“Not helping,” you hissed. “Look Kyle, let’s just get the leaves and go. That flower is suspicious as all hell, it’s getting dark, and Tentacled Joe and I need to get home before John’s wife tries to withhold dinner from us again.”

Kyle glanced at the flower, then at you, then at the slowly setting sun. “Well… alright. Let’s just --”

Just then the metal daisy’s petals twitched, spasmed, then folded together. A low ringing sound filled the air, making you feel as though you suddenly gained tinnitus.

Kyle gawked at the flower. “Wha --”

The flower unfolded itself, the petals stretching and growing until they were the size of your head. Small spike-like teeth grew around the petals and in the center a pair of eyes grew. They glared at the three of you, filled with enough hatred and bloodlust to set your teeth on edge.

“Joe!” you barked, and the squid send a tentacle whipping towards Kyle, snagging him around his waist and pulling him away just before the flower lunged at him, the petals snapping around where he just was.

The flower opened its “mouth” letting out a high pitched screech that made you want to tear your ears off.

You settled for bashing it with your spiked club instead.

There was the screeching sound of metal on metal as your club’s nails penetrated the flower, digging into its “skin”. It let out another high pitched screech and your arms trembled as you resisted the urge to cover your ears. The flower took that moment of distraction to rip itself away from your bat, sending shards of flowery metal everywhere.

The flower glared at you, the hatred in its eyes making you tense up in preparation. It let out another screech, only lower. More baritone.

Behind you, Kyle let out a choked gasp. Then he was ripped out of Tentacled Joe’s grip by an unseen force, his body flying towards the flower’s open mouth. You instinctively dropped your club and wrapped your arms around his waist -- and lurched forward as the flower’s telekinetic abilities almost yanked him out of your grip.

You scrambled backward, digging your heels in to pull as hard as you could. You could feel him slipping away from you --

“Blrb!”

A ball of fire was sent streaking past you, slamming into the flower at full speed. There was another high pitched shriek -- one that made your ears ring with pain -- and you felt a pair of tentacles wrap around your waist. There was a whoosh of air and suddenly Tentacled Joe was flying a good three meters in the air, you and Kyle held in a two tentacled grip.

You heard Tentacled Joe let out a gurgling growl, like a wolf trying to howl underwater. You felt the tentacles around your waist tighten and grow hot. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see another fireball forming at the tip of his tentacle. “Blrb.”

“No wait, stop!” You flailed in his grip before smacking the tentacle away. You immediately regretted it as you felt a scorch of heat against your palm. “Motherfucker!”

“Blrb?!” Tentacled Joe gave you an incredulous look. You could feel some of his heat starting to subside. “Blrb, blrb, blrb!”

“You’re going to set the fucking forest on fire, you ten eyed idiot!” You shouted, pointing at the ground below you. The flower was flailing around, slamming its body against the ground to dampen the flames. It wasn’t doing any good though, only seeming to make the flames hotter and burn faster. You could hear its angry, shrill cries, though thankfully Tentacled Joe had you and Kyle hovering out of its range. Any sense of satisfaction you felt was quickly dampened by the fact that its flailing was starting to send embers of flame around the very flammable leaves and trees. Some of the folage around the fucking flower was already smoking. “Quick, set me down so I can finish it off!”

“Blrb? Blrb!” he argued. “Blrb, blrb, blrb, blrb!”

Below you, one of the yofa leaves was set on fire.

“Just let me down already!”

“Blrb --”

You wiggled out of Tentacled Joe’s grip and fell to the ground. A quick tuck and roll negated most of the fall damage, though you still felt a tingly sensation in your legs. You didn’t pay it any mind though and full on sprinted towards your spiked bat, which was lying a foot away from the flower’s writhing form.

Your fingers closed around the hot wood, and by the time the flower did notice you were there, you had your spiked club raised and ready to give the final blow.

It let out a low, baritone bellow and you felt something pass over you, like you just got hit with a thin wet sheet. The sensation was gone so fast that you would have thought you imagined it, if not for the hitch in the flower’s “voice” and the confusion you could see in its half melted eyes.

Then your club smashed downward and the flower was nothing more than a half melted puddle of metal.

You whacked it a few more times for good measure before lowering your club to your side, your body covered in sweat.

“Fucking. Christ,” you panted. “I better not get a sunburn from all this heat.”

“Blrb.” Tentacled Joe floated down next to you, cradling Kyle in his tentacles. The poor kid must've passed out at some point. Thankfully, he looked fine. “Blrb, blrb, blrb. Blrb, blrb,” he pointed out.

You scoffed. “Yeah right. You probably would’ve set it on fire again. Which reminds me.” You turned towards the smoking leaves. Some of them were already on fire. “I’ll go put this stuff out. You go gather the leaves that aren’t smoking or on fire and put them in my pack.” You threw your backpack towards him and he caught it in a free tentacle. “And make sure to set Kyle down on the ground. Gently. I need to check him over once I’m done.”

He nodded. “Blrb.”

The two of you got to work.

Thankfully the small fires didn’t manage to spread to the trees or the entire clump of leaves; apparently the damn things took a while to burn, of which you were thankful. You had to stamp some of the small fires out and cover them with dirt, but all in all, it turned out alright.

Kyle looked fine aside from some bruising around his chest and neck area, and a quick healing potion solved that issue. Poor guy was still out cold though, and his clothes looked a bit torn around the edges. His armor was a bit warped -- probably from the flower’s telekinetic bullshit -- and you had to ask Tentacled Joe for help so you could yank it off him. His sword looked similarly bent out of shape.

Tentacled Joe’s long, extendable, six tentacles proved to be good at gathering leaves. The squid would have picked the area dry if not for the fact that your and Kyle’s packs could only hold so much leaves. That and it seemed a bit greedy taking up all the leaves for yourself. You weren’t the only one trying to make a living after all.

After checking, double checking, and triple checking to make sure the fires were out, the three of you headed back to the Guild.

The gate guards waved you though after giving your ID a quick check. You could tell the mustached one wanted to ask what happened to Kyle, though his glasses coworker elbowed him when he opened his mouth.

The walk to the Guild was similar to your first time, with people giving you weird looks and the guards on the verge of questioning you as you walked through the streets with Kyle in Tentacled Joe’s arms. Just like last time though, no one bothered to stop you and you were able to make your way to the Guild unmolested.

“I hope the quest went well?” the receptionist asked, eyeing Kyle’s unconscious form and your sweat covered body.

You made a so-so gesture. “It could have gone worse.” You set both packs on the counter. “We brought back a bunch of leaves for the quest.”

“Ah yes, the yofa leaves quest. A classic beginner quest for all Rank F Adventurers.” She opened the packs, allowing the leaves to spill onto the counter. “Hmm… some of these leaves look a bit damaged. A few even look burned.”

Tentacled Joe shifted in the air, trying and failing to look innocent.

“Still… most of these leaves look intact.” She studied both bags, shifting through them a bit. “It should be worth around… three steel coins. I hope that’s acceptable for you?”

“Sure.”

“Excellent.” The receptionist whipped out a bag from nowhere and started shoveling the leaves in. “If you would simply leave your Adventurer’s Card behind so I can mark your success?”

You placed it on the table.

“Wonderful. It should be marked with your success by tomorrow. Now if you would please hand Mr. Winters to the guards?”

A familiar puff of black smoke and the black armored guards appeared. Tentacled Joe was a bit freaked out by their sudden appearance, though you managed to calm him down and keep him from setting something on fire by patting him on one of his tentacles. He gave the guards a wary look, but still gently gave them Kyle’s unconscious body.

You made sure to stick one of the steel coins into his pocket before the guards disappeared.

“If that’s all, then --” the receptionist started.

You interrupted her. “Well actually, there’s something that we found in the woods back there.”

You told her about the flower and explained how it attacked you and Kyle, emphasizing the whole telekinetic thing. The receptionist nodded along to your explanation, though she still looked unphased.

“I see. And is the body still there in the woods?”

“Yep. Well, most of it.” You reached into your pack and pulled out a potion bottle that used to be filled with health potion. Now it was filled with metal flower goo. “I grabbed a sample of the stuff while Tentacled Joe and I were picking the leaves.”

The receptionist looked a bit more interested. “Hmm. May I?” She gestured towards the vial and you handed it to her. “Hmm… yes this does look like the melted remains of a Magnetic Killer Flower. A young one, barely a month old judging by the texture.”

Magnetic? It would explain why it had been able to pull Kyle towards it. You just assumed the damn thing was telekinetic or something.

But what about you? You had just as much metal armor underneath your clothes as Kyle, and it didn’t pull you towards it. In fact, now that you think about it, that sensation you felt before bashing its brains in probably was it trying to pull you into its mouth.

But then why did it fail?

Maybe it ran out of magic or something? Or maybe it has some sorta cooldown, like abilities in video games? The receptionist did say it was young; it probably didn’t know its limits well enough and over exerted itself.

Still, that was a close call.

Maybe you should have let Tentacled Joe deal with it for you. Sure he would have burned down the whole forest, but at least you wouldn’t be risking your life over a bunch of fucking leaves.

You’re gonna have to be more careful from now on. You won’t always get lucky.

“I didn’t think they would spawn in the middle of the Rue Forest. They usually spawn in more populated areas.” The receptionist set the vial behind the counter. “Thank you for bringing this to the Guild’s attention.” She set three more steel coins down on the counter. “For your trouble.”

“Thanks, man. Could you give one of these to Kyle? Since he was part of the quest and all.”

The receptionist nodded and gave you a professional smile. “I’ll make sure to give it to him. Have a good night.”

“You too.” You headed for the door. “Come on, Tentacled Joe. We have a warm dinner and a pile of hay with our names on it.”

“Blrb!” he agreed, floating beside you.

“Oh and before I forget.” You handed Tentacled Joe two of the steel coins.

He blinked all ten of his eyes. “Blrb?”

“Your share of the money, man.” You smiled and gave him a little nudge in his side. “You said so yourself, remember? You’re not a pet, you’re my partner. And partners get their fair share.”

Tentacled Joe stared down at the coins. You got the sense that if he had a normal human mouth, he’d be smiling right about now. “Blrb. Blrb!”

He wrapped his tentacles around you and gave you a big hug, lifting you off the ground. “Blrb!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” You patted him on the back of his head before wiggling out of his grip. “Come on, let’s get home before the drunks start wandering the streets.”

“Blrb!” he said cheerfully, floating up and down.

“Oh, and no buying any cats.”

“Blrb!” he whined.