The first thing when I awake, is the face of a woman beautiful but unlike fae, it was a motherly woman with eyes soft and brown and an incredible warmth that burned like fires of the hearth. Oh yes, if there was person who could break my old, shrivelled and jaded soul a warmth like that could undo many. However, as I’ve said once before. All emotions die with time. You see I once met a woman like that and in the end, she too fell to deaths mortal embrace. So, whilst the warmth of her eyes resonates with my small mediocre body. My soul remains frozen as I feel nothing as the woman hugs me close to her body and nothing as her hands slowly weaken and fall to the ground.

It’s funny how macabre it is. That for the woman who wished for me to live to survive I should’ve died in pregnancy. And for me to live she would die right now in front of me. Still smiling still looking lovingly at me. Even when her body grows colder, and the day grows darker.in times like this I reminiscent about the death of those close to me. How they all perished one by one. And you may ask why you don’t just kill yourself if it’s that harsh.in truth I have many a time. But much like a loop I have come back again and again repeating history much like a Guinea pig trapped in a wheel

As I continue introspecting. The world slows down, the winds lose their sound, the animals remain mute as if something hallowed has visited and the world is paying its respect.

A soothing voice speaks

“Tell me child, if you were given a chance in another world where immortals exist where stars can be arranged by the hands of beings, would you choose to go?”

Since as a baby vocal cords could not verbalise words, I remained mute

“Child, your thoughts are enough to convey your meaning, so I ask again, would you?”

This time I reply with a thought

“tell me, being, in a place of immortals where planets can be brought low by hands of a being, where do I as a simple scholar fit in”

The being replies with a chuckle, and the world shines a little brighter and winds begin to dance as if the happiness of the being is the happiness of the world itself.

“Child, there is no meaning. You have witnessed the birth and death of this planet many a time. Been called a murderer and protector, a villain and a hero, a scholar and a warrior and finally the indifferent one. Of all the beings on this planet, I find your existence intriguing and wonder what you would do when placed in a place so similar yet so different to this world”

The being stops and the world holds its breath

“so, I ask again, would you?”

I look at the world again its beauties lack lustre and grey, its nature a trap, an abyss, and I answer

“if there was a world where beings can bring down stars and I could walk freely to learn, to study their crafts, Being, I would go”

The soothing voice returns

“very well, as a gift for being amongst the very few that can intrigue me, I will gift you what you have learned from your own lifetime and through this a body that you have earned. You will start as a man, like you have always been and from this you’ll continue to grow infinitely, use your skills and your knowledge to thrive and I look forward to seeing what you can show me”

As the winds begin to pick up as if the being has begun to leave. I speak one last time

“in the words of the old tongue that has been lost to time on this planet 'Eṉ naṉṟiyuṇarvu’"

(my gratitude being = என் நன்றியுணர்வு = Eṉ naṉṟiyuṇarvu’)