That Girl Who’s Always Alone At The Back

Chapter x – D a t e

 A month has passed ever since Amu-chan was raped and murdered on her way to school. I still hate myself for being powerless. I could not protect her smile. I wish I’ve told her how much I love her that night. But I guess she felt it with my kiss and my embrace.

 But on the last few weeks, I was thinking of how much I like Rianne Gray. Now I feel like one of those guys who post Harambe memes. 90% of those who made them obviously don’t know him. And now, I am one of them. I only realized that I really love Amu when it was too late. I sure am stupid.

 Having Rianne Gray cheer me up every day and act like my girlfriend makes me feel bad. Although I really do like her...

 I can’t feel anything now that Amu is gone.

 Even though I’ve experienced having sex with Rianne, it didn’t feel right. Obviously it felt good. But it didn’t matter because all I ever think about is Amu. Her smile, laughter, voice, eyes….

 Amu.

 Amu.

 Amu…

 I looked at the bottle of bleach that I secretly bought on my way home from school. I want to be with her again. But if I kill myself, I’ll burn in hell. Also, there’s no way that I do such a thing. I am a big pussy after all.

 My phone vibrated. I took it from my pocket. Rianne Gray’s name flashed.

 “….”

 “Hey.” Rianne’s voice was worried.

 “Hey.”

 “I was wondering if you’re free tomorrow?”

 “Yes. Why?”

 “Uhmmmm…”

“Hmmm?”

 “Will you go on a date with me tomorrow?”

 Somehow, just imagining her blushing face made me smile a little. “Sure.”

 Amu-chan is dead now… there’s no point in dwelling in the past. This is what she would’ve wanted, I guess. For me to be happy… or so does the TV drama’s that I’ve seen before says so.

 I find it weird. A girl going to a guy’s house just to pick him up for their date… does Rianne Gray like me that much? Maybe I should just give it a try… I mean, I’ve got nothing to lose anyways. And a girl as pretty as Rianne… it’d be such a waste to turn her down.

 She was wearing a pink long sleeved off shoulder shirt and black shorts.

 “You look pretty today.” I said. But somehow, I could not manage a smile.

 “Just today?” She teased. She placed her finger on her lips as she entered my room.

 “Well, you looked prettier than normal because of your clothes, I guess.”

 “You saw me without anything already.” She giggled as she placed the said finger to my lips.

 “Let’s not talk about it.” I said as I went outside of my room.

 “I’m sorry.” Rianne said as she looked down on her sneakers.

 I took her by her hand as we walked outside my house.

 Usually, it’s her who always hold my hand. But seeing her being upset like that, I just couldn’t take it. When we got out, she whispered to me.

 “I love you.”

 I looked at her. Rianne’s face was flushed.

 “Same.” I smiled this time.

 That was when she grabbed me by the arms. Then we walked.

 I felt her big breast around my arm. Although I’ve seen her naked once and had sex with her, I still feel embarrassed. I looked at her, she looked the same as I.

 No one was talking. But I could feel her arms shaking as she was grabbing mine.

 We commuted. The angel of silence didn’t leave us. This time, her hand was in mine. She is still shaking.

 I took out my cellphone and earphones from my pocket. I plugged on my ear. The other on hers. Before we I even noticed, we were already there.

 Not a plan, we just wandered around aimlessly. Looking at stalls and not buying anything. Her hand was still in mine. I don’t know why, but I think she’s nervous. Probably because of the other people around us.

 “Don’t mind them.” I said. “They’re just humans likes us.”

 She smiled faintly.

 Rianne Gray took a deep breath and then grabbed me by the arm. “I’m hungry.” She said.

 So I took her at Kotori Fried Chicken or KFC. I told her to look for a seat while I will order our food. That’s when I remembered what I’ve read on a certain blog or magazine or something… “Always ask your date what she wants to eat.”

 I went back to look for her. She was sitting at the back; her chin was placed on her palm.

 “What do you want to eat?”

 “Anything.” She smiled gently.

 “Are you fine with spicy foods?”

 “I don’t mind.” Rianne Gray grinned.

 And with that, I bought a sweet and spicy chicken thingy. It was hard for me to bring the tray back because of the glasses of water and the soft drinks that we ordered.

 “It’s actually sweet.” Rianne said as she smiled.

 “Last time I went here, it’s actually spicier than sweet.” I said.

 “Maybe….”

 “Hmmm?”

 “Maybe it became sweeter because of my sweetness…” She said as she looked at me.

 I was silenced by her eyes. They were glistening. As if they were inviting me to enter the fifth dimension and be lost inside her world.

 Has time stopped? How many seconds has passed? How many times have I asked myself this? It felt like everyone else was drowned in the ocean and it was just me and her who’s left in this world. Nothing matters anymore. It was only Rianne Gray and her alone, are the only thing that matters. As if Amu-chan’s death doesn’t matter any longer. Maybe I should move on.

 I could no longer understand what’s happening on my mind right now.

 “Rianne Gray…”

 “Yes?”

 “Will you be my girlfriend?”

 “Sure.”