Recoup (1)

The flight seems to go on forever. My soul can’t take it. I haven’t left the corner of the bed I’ve procured.

My existence is cursed. Everyone around me dies. I can save no one. I tried so hard.

"This again, woman?" Fennis enters the room.

"Save it, Fennis." I murmur.

"Need I remind you that 'lest you landed the deathblow, then you aren't responsible." He sits on the edge of the bed. "You are not the only one to mourn his loss, Eve. Domnis was important to nearly everyone in the kingdom, all of our troops, and your wives, too."

"... They're your women, Zero."

"You are daft. Now rise and rouse what remains of our world."

He reaches over and grabs me by the scruff of the neck. I couldn't resist even if I wanted to, as he drags me out of the room.

Nerves kick my ass as I look out across all the faces before me. Several thousand people – that's all that remains. Assuming there’s stragglers out there on their own, I can't believe it would be more than a few hundred extra.

These people have lost everything…

"There is little left in this world." I start pacing. "Even if we win, it will take generations to see any amount of recovery. None of us will see the fruits of our labor."

"Woman, this hardly qualifies as a pep talk," Fennis cuts in from the side.

"But it is. Don't you see? This is reality. This is what we have left to fight for."

I take center stage and open my arms wide. Forlorn faces look all the worse for wear as blurry and unfocused eyes shift their attentions to me. "We don't stand today for ourselves. We stand for a more hopeful tomorrow. I can only ask, is it worth it to you all, to plant a tree whose shade you will never stand in? Is it worth it to build a world in which you will never live? Is it worth it to beat back evil so that our world will once again feast in the light?"

I spoke with no break between my words. Now I stand in silence with ragged breathing. A murmur spreads through the crowd as every person here chooses for themselves, but the choice was clear. They clap and cheer.

Morale is returned as high as it ever was among them.

I pass through the crowd of people as they cheer for me. In front of the door to my room stand the Valkyries. They each wear their own emotions. I scan their faces and give them a nod.

They follow me to my room, spreading throughout it. I take a seat in my corner and pull my knees to my chest.

"What do you want?"

"We need to talk," Mimi says.

"It could be the last time we have a moment of peace with us all," Rose adds.

Kay chimes in, “Like we used to.”

I focus on the women around me.

"You're Zero, right?" Kay asks, titling her head slightly.

"And you're more talkative than you used to be."

"So, you are then?" Mimi scoots closer to me.

"Sure. I was called that once, but as you can see, I am nothing like what you all saw me as."

"I don't know. That mopey self-pity is just like I remember," Mimi sticks her tongue out at me.

"And that stubbornness couldn't belong to anyone else," Kay says as she inches closer to me too.

I cock an eyebrow at her laying her head against my legs.

"What did you tell them, Rose?"

She gives a wicked little grin and acts like she doesn't know what I'm asking.

"Well, you don't have to get on me like this-" I begin, pushing Kay off my legs and holding Mimi back from hugging me. "I'm not the Zeroth. You don't owe allegiance to me because I was at one point. You are all free to live your own lives as you choose."

"Then there is no issue," Mimi cuddles up to me.

"What?"

I look across all their faces, showing similar sentiments.

"But you don't know me!"

"Who you are is apparent, and has been apparent since the day we met. Some details have changed, sure, but struggles are meant to be overcome." Rose squeezes my knee.

I shake my head, “Guys. We’re all women…”

They look at each other then back to me. “Yes. We discussed that,” Rose tells me.

“I can’t give you the children you’ve all wanted.”

“Such is the way life goes sometimes,” Mimi replies.

“Um… there’s also four of us. You’ve already seen the kinds of issues that can lead to.”

“If I can be with you, I don’t mind who you’re with.” Kay smiles as she speaks.

What could I say?

“How are you all able to even know or remember any of this? The Zeroth should be drawing you to it, warping everything.”

“Is that how that worked? I don’t understand that.”

I turn to Mimi, “Yes. The Zeroth Knight title… Well, I don’t know much about how it started but-”

I proceed to tell them everything I know about the Zeroth Knight. How, from what Nina told me, it has been around at least since the founding of the empire. I tell them how it warps the perceptions of those around it, forcing its own reality on everyone else. Then I tell them about the rebellion of three hundred years ago, and how Nina anchored the Valkyries souls to the Zeroth. From then on, their destinies were tied to the Zeroth.

I tell them all I know about the Beta as well.

“The Beta are creatures from… I don’t know… If Dom, and those other voices are to believed, I’m connected to them being here somehow. Hell, if what Dom was insinuating is true, I may even be a Beta myself, although I don’t understand how that could be possible.”

Mimi awkwardly rubs the back of her neck. “Yes. I would have to agree. You’re much more handsome… um… beautiful than those vile things.”

I roll my eyes. “Old habits die hard, huh?”

“Sorry. I don’t know the first thing about flirting with a woman.”

“That didn’t stop you before,” Rose teases, causing Mimi to blush.

“But anyway, the Beta seem to twist the fate of others by chewing away at what is tantamount to their souls, and that causes them to eventually go mad. It also alters an individual's fate. Don't ask me how.”

“So, depending on how you look at it, the only real difference between the Zeroth Knight title and the Beta, is that the Beta destroys, and the Zeroth Knight gets you tons of amazing women.”

I look straight at Mimi, completely dumbfounded.

“I’m fairly sure there is more to the Zeroth than that.”

“Indeed. The story we saw at Hercynian Temple showed someone who looked like Eve when she changed at the coliseum, fighting them.”

Rose explains everything related to our time in the woods, and Kay seems lost in thought, though it’s hard to tell given her typical relatively-blank expression. She glances over at me and catches me staring.

“Very complicated. But, here for you,” she leans in and kisses me.

“What? No fair!” Mimi dives in after her and kisses me too.

“Oh. That’s a lot different than kissing a man.”

“I would say, ‘I told you so,’ but I’ll refrain.”

She sticks her tongue out at me. “I’ll get used to it.”

Before I can say anything else, Rose reaches over and gives my hand a squeeze.

“My main concern is this: If we are destined to be with the Zeroth, then why do we still want to be with you? What has changed? Given what has already happened, could it be that it we…” Rose lets her sentence hang for a moment before gathering her thoughts and continuing, “As much as I want to believe in this being our will, with us somehow overcoming the machinations of gods, could it not be that it wasn’t the Zeroth we were supposed to be with? Could it not be that it is simply you?”