《God isn't dead, He's just broke》Chapter 17: Privy chases a Criminal Bucket
Advertisement
Privy slowly tapped her foot as she waited at the Western Gate of the city impatiently.
Shub and Breanna were there alongside her, Shub was wearing a cloth shirt with twelve crimson hammers etched into it, each one pointing fifteen degrees away from each other. Green pants accompanied her legs, the pants had several pouches stitched in. Each one was filled with random trinkets. A massive ax was strapped to her back. Having been painted yellow by the gnolls.
Breanna had a way less grand fashion show. Only a rough brown tunic and pants were on the Dragonborn. With all of her supplies stuffed into some random bag, they had on camp when Privy and co had traveled to the city.
The Dragonborn was out and about, cloaked in an illusion of being an elf. An elf dressed much more fancily.
The group was also surrounded by a large group of gnoll children, who were happily playing with the local children.
Well, terrorizing was likely the better word. Gnolls punched, kicked, and head-butted their way to the kings of the nearby playground.
Attacking and fighting like a pack in the infernal game of tag. Privy had hated the game, she did not have the best memories of playing that game. Stupid capitalist pigs and their stupid pay to win playground.
Privy shook the memory out of her mind and returned to the present problem.
That being of Brick refusing to show.
Privy had sent out her bird around ten minutes ago, and for ten minutes Brick hadn't shown. Sure, there may have been some traffic, but who in the guild actually cared about traffic laws. As long as the police didn't see it and there weren't any cams around, they were only suggestions, right?
Privy waited for several more minutes before finally calling it quits.
She turned to Breanna and Shub. Both who were awkwardly not looking anywhere near her and yelled at them. "That's it! We're leaving!"
Shub, startled, turned towards and asked. "I thought we were going to meet your friend here?"
"We were, but since he apparently doesn't like free money!" Privy yelled that last part out for everyone around them to hear. None of the civilians looked them straight in the eyes.
"We have to go find this criminal ourselves."
Breanna looked at Privy before sighing. "Are you sure, I thought you said he could've provided some useful information?"
"Did you not hear what I just said?" Privy asked with a glare. The fire in her eyes radiating an aura of heat.
"Yes, I heard. I'm just saying it seems stupid to not meet up with him. You said he has shady contacts, right? Those contacts could've encountered the target."
Advertisement
Shub turned and looked at Breanna, the Dragonborn had been more than a little displeased ever since Privy had taken command. Especially with how the Shortie had been treating her. But the Dragonborn wasn't backing down.
Both Privy and Breanna stared at each other. Their eyes not looking at anything else, Shub politely decided to excuse herself and went to go take care of the gnoll children they had brought along.
What Privy called the Red Brigade.
The group had been getting dangerously close to creating some child-murdering chemical weapons and Shub had to put a stop to that. Privy wasn't looking so now it was time to teach the children how to not be criminals.
Privy looked at Breanna. "I said we're searching for the target without my 'contact'."
Breanna responded. "And I said that's a stupid idea."
"Don't make me do what I did to Billy."
"What did you do to that fantastic disappointment of a gnoll chieftain?"
"Ask the beef jerky you ate this morning."
Breanna almost hurled at that. She had eaten that disgusting gnoll!? And she had liked the taste as well!?
"That's disgusting."
"I know, but I really want to try Dragonborn right now. So unless you want to become my lunch. Back off!"
"Shub would report that to the authorities. She's surprisingly lawful for an orc."
"I dodge taxes all the time. This one isn't so different."
"There's a tax on cooking people!?" Breanna asked in shock.
"Who did you think got it passed?" Privy smiled sadistically at Breanna. "Now shut up and follow me."
Shub looked at the Guard Barracks awkwardly. It was a massive three-story building made entirely of white quartz. With beams of powerful magic entwined around it. Four towers arose from the structure and pointed forwards to every cardinal direction.
They were currently in some part of the city called the Manor East.
It was supposedly the place where the upper-middle class and higher dwelt. And it sure looked like it.
Shub felt keenly out of place examining the wealth that surrounded her. Large white marble houses imported from who knows where shot out of the ground and formed into towering um towers. With arches decorated in silver and sometimes gold wrapped around the structures.
Glowing lambs powered by ambient magical energy flowed through the area. Connected through underground pipes shooting out waves of magical power.
Around half of the energy dissipated before it even reached the lamps.
The power rushing out of the poorly constructed pipes and enriched the stone around it, turning the once normal rocks into their magical equivalents of glowing rocks.
Advertisement
Shub saw all of this through her skill Blood Vision.
Cost: N/A, Range: Medium, Stat: Perception Blood Vision: You can see the blood or the equivalent of it run through objects. Beware creatures of the day! For I can see your... Blood. -Quote from Vampire Grimoire of the Stupidest Vampires ever.
It had been one of the few skills in Shub's skillset that was allowed in her homeland. Just seeing blood wasn't enough to make a person a Blood Mage.
If that were the case, every child who had cut themselves in any way would've had to been culled. Which was unreasonable. Kids were annoying but they didn't deserve that!
Shub's companion would've disagreed with that by a lot and then some.
You could practically see the bottled up murderous rage that was inside Breanna as she tried to herd the wild pack of young gnolls disguised as human children away from anything that looked like it could be mauled without immediate consequence.
Well, almost everything. Breanna did sick them on a couple that was annoying as all heck. And probably very racist with the way they looked at her.
So Shub hadn't made a blip when Breanna sicked the cubs, nor when she moved their ripped apart and twitching bodies into a back alley before setting them on fire.
Privy would've done the same. Shub thought nervously, the druid was insane as all get out.
When the fighting had stopped she had spent nearly an entire hour and a half lecturing them on the glories and triumphs of Communism. Which wasn't the best look for sanity.
It did sound interesting but the way Privy presented it as a cult more than anything, the creepy men, the weird fanfiction, and the general circumstances surrounding the interaction made Shub not even consider it for a second.
Breanna had decided to insult Privy's entire family and extended family and extended families dog when she had heard the speech.
Dragonborn apparently didn't like Communism. Imagine that.
Ever since then, Privy and Breanna had been two seconds away from lashing out. Shub had stopped it on numerous occasions but after being cut up by Privy's claws and burned by Breanna's attempt at breathing fire which was just spitting out alcohol and throwing a lit match.
Shub had stopped butting in, maybe they would work out their differences in a nice and even brawl. Now Shub had to deal with the fact that she was currently in a place that taxed cooking people.
She dared not think about the cannibals that would come running when they heard of the city.
Paying a few silver was fine to them in exchange for eating people.
"Hey, you there Shub?" Breanna called out, her voice weak and frail. Too weak to even call her a demeaning insult.
Shub turned and immediately threw up when she saw Breanna's face. She had forgotten to turn off her skill. As Shub's inside that used to be outside were now back outside soaked the road underneath them.
And an impossible to ignore glare from Breanna. Breanna handed the leashes of the children to Shub.
"When did we get leashes?" Shub asked.
"I have my methods," Breanna replied slyly before walking away several feet and collapsing on the ground.
Shub didn't have a chance to react when one of the gnoll children saw a graceful cat land on the corner of an arch inside a nearby home, the gnoll howled and alerted the rest of the pack instantly.
The wave of around two dozen gnolls came forth, dragging Shub along with them. The orc could only let out a startled scream as she tried to keep the pack from committing any more crimes.
Privy walked out of the Guards Barracks that very minute, smiling to herself as she jumped out and landed on the groaning Breanna. Privy let out a quick high pitched whistle and the wave of gnolls dragging Shub stopped instantly.
Shub let out a weak groan as she was dragged back to Privy by the gnoll children.
"Had fun?" Privy asked as she picked up one of the gnolls, a boy by the name of Elliot or Elickiot for his gnoll name. Based on the fact that he would lick everything he could get his hands on.
"No," Breanna responded underneath Privy.
The Shortie frowned and stepped off the Dragonborn before discretely kicked in the ribs by Privy's standards.
For everyone else, Privy just moved her legs up one-eighty degree's and released a brutal blow.
Breanna let out a gasp and a groan of pain. The Dragonborn's body turning completely flat as Breanna lost the strength to even move her muscles in an inch.
Privy turned and looked Shub straight in the eyes.
"We found where our target is. And we're heading there to apprehend him and get this gold held by that scummy mayor!" Privy yelled, her hands going up and reaching out towards the sky.
Shub hoped they would get time to prepare. But she knew in her heart of hearts that Privy would never let them rest.
Advertisement
- In Serial51 Chapters
Sect Leader
In the wake of an attack by a divine beast, the world blinked and transported Jessica Kim from Denver and her life as an accountant into the Sect of Coldsteel, replacing the now dead leadership. Can she get the support together to build the school back up and running while providing support to the refugees left by the divine beast? Will she be able to use her knowledge of the scientific method to improve the sects standing with local clans? Sect Leader came out on Mondays and Thursdays.
8 159 - In Serial88 Chapters
The Void King.
The gods themselves have granted mankind the ability to cultivate, to gather up and unleash Qi as devastating attacks or life-saving healing powers. And yet, in the small village of Green Willows lives an abandoned child, Huang Ying, who was denied even that, forbidden from enjoying what every other living person gets to have. But is everything really as it seems with Huang Ying, is he truly doomed to live at the very bottom for all his life, or could there be a beast hidden even within this abandoned child? And what if that beast was one that saw even the universe itself as nothing more than a snack?
8 313 - In Serial14 Chapters
A Hard Game (Dropped)
All Von needed was a quiet holiday, a holiday where his dying brain could properly rehabilitate. Nothing more. Yet, life just decided to throw him into a rare occurrence that shouldn't even occur in one in 10 million cases.
8 162 - In Serial417 Chapters
Draconic Transcendence (Progression Fantasy)
Born below a raging storm, Rai enters the world with a whisper, silencing the elements. Join him as he grows and explores the world of Zenith, uncovering its truths and fallacies. Will he find his father, the previous Aspect of the Life clan? Blessed with abundant mana, how will he adjust to sealing 80% of it in a world where magic means everything? His journey includes attending Aether Academy, dealing with celestial hijinks, and a dangerous path laid out by his father. What will become of the world in the process? That's up to Rai to find out. UPDATES DAILY Chapters will be from 1400 to 2400 words ish, could change depending on the chapter. *I've just started including x.5 chapter parts within the chapter itself to avoid any confusion. Things to expect: - Slow romance - Expansive world building - Character power progression (not limited to MC) - Functioning relationships between characters Things not to expect: - Rape scenes - Harem - Cartoonish villains Cover art made and owned by me
8 129 - In Serial42 Chapters
Gallanor (On hiatus)
In the year 2036 the theory of ejection was proposed. Ejection is the process of transferring a persons entire being from one universe to the next closest one. Once done this theoretical process cannot be reverted. Darren Tower the first person to ever eject finds himself in Gallanor a inhabitable world in the Universe adjacent to his own. Unaware that his arrival will set in motion a chain of events that will shake this world and his own to their cores.
8 144 - In Serial74 Chapters
(Discontinued) Outer Banks | JJ x reader
(Discontinued at the end of season 2)(Y/N) Routledge is John B's twin sister. Like John B, JJ is her best friend. Of course Kie and Pope are there too, but JJ has known the twins longer and you would just say them three were inseparable. (Y/N) has always had feelings for JJ, but you know, the rule: no pogue on pogue macking. The characters besides you are not mine and are all from Outer Banks. I apologize for any mistakes.Please try and tell me if there are any mistakes, I'd like to fix themI'm gonna give a warning right here. Im not exactly sure what I am going to write in this but there is always a possibility for something triggering. For blood, depression, anxiety, etc.
8 184

