《God isn't dead, He's just broke》Chapter 10: How does one kill with a door?
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"In a talk about folk heroes, you either have the hero or you have the Hero. Often this depends on how the hero became a hero in the first place."
"The first hero, the hero. Is a person, usually Mage though it can be a Barbarian or something. Usually, a person earns that class through some great feat. Depending on the level economy it could be through defeating a person either five or twenty levels above them. Though it could also be a person who inspired great change in the government leading to rapid advancement in terms of culture or power."
"Then you have the second version, the Hero. Now, if you paid attention to basic World Mytho's class. Then you must realize that at the very least one culture in the world has hero's that are ridiculously OP in terms of the power level of the average denizen."
"These Hero's are the people who got the one in a million lottery. They managed to get someone to gift them some super ultra rare god killer cultivation technique. Or the Hero has some sort of epic class of legendary skill that puts everyone else to shame. Whatever the case, these guys are the real deal when it comes to power."
"Now, why am I telling you this? Well, for starters each hero is a pain in the ass. They have enough power to start small scale Invasions, which can directly lead to larger ones. Hitting a world with a tsunami before they even know how to cast anything more than a basic fireball."
"Plus, all of these guys are set on a path to power that always leads them to develop the skills to harm an avatar. And believe me, if you thought stubbing your toe hurt. Wait till those bastards kill your avatar."
-Quote from God Teacher Matthew's lecture on 'What you should and shouldn't do against Hero's'. Five days before the incident.
Brick took a swing from his cup, drinking down the heavenly thing that was alcohol in a single gulp. Brick smashed the cup straight into the table and let out a massive burp. He was on his third cup.
Brick turned to look at his demon Joseph Mary, who was currently on his twelfth cup. The demon was hammered beyond all recognition, and currently trying to woe a thoroughly drunk Succubus that had been summoned by another Warlock.
Brick hadn't actually seen him all day and considering the owner was the only one missing. And that Brick had woke up in a bed which had a corpse stuck inside it. He had a safe bet on where the demon's owner was.
He wouldn't tell, of course, Warlock's and demons ran on a basis of trust. And no demon wanted to be partnered up with a moral Warlock. Sure it would be fun to corrupt them, but most couldn't wait that long. Demons could easily dismiss themselves from the material plane and hop on over to another Warlock.
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But they didn't because of their contract, but also because of their thirst for entertainment. Brick didn't know what went on where ever the hell demon's came from. But if all of them agreed that their home was boring, then Brick was inclined to believe them.
After all, most demons didn't lie all the time unless it benefitted them.
Brick ordered another glass and then turned to his right. Basy, that green sprite spirit thing that had hopped out of the Crusading War Criminal.
The spirit was hanging over the body of the man. Who was supposedly named Bucket?
The spirit was no more than a massive green blob of wispy magic energy. The damn thing's power was faint, but he could sense some deep and old magic within it.
Basy hadn't told him what it yet was or if he knew about it at all. But he figured telling complete strangers you may be worth something valuable wasn't the best idea.
Seften was on Brick's left. One eye monitoring the two demons, while the other paid attention to his drink. Brick knew he was secretly staring at Basy, he must've sensed the magic inside Basy as well. Priests were notoriously good at this kind of thing after all.
"So, Basy was it?" Seften asked the spirit. Basy looked a bit startled, but Brick could only guess since his magic was swirling a little faster now. "Yes?" Basy asked.
"How did you get tied to this 'Bucket' fellow, and why did he break the door down. It's gonna take a couple of days after we decide to start working to fix that."
"Why?" Basy asked. "Well, while this town has a whole lot of people. Somewhere between 20,000 to 50,000. Almost all our Carpenters died in some random fire a month ago. Both of the profession and the class. So we're a little short on people who can make doors and furniture."
"Really?" Basy sounded startled, Brick guessed anyone would be if a simple door looked like it would cost a small fortune.
"Yeah. It's gonna take some heavy gold to fix it right up, but we could find a random door from the Drop sites and replace the one your 'Bucket' tore down."
"I guess we could do that," Basy said.
"Just make sure it isn't a mimic or anything, last time that happened we nearly burned this place down."
Basy's magical energy went back to the startling pattern. The energy making up his spirit growing faster.
"If you don't mind me asking, what exactly is the Drop site? Is it some trash heap?" Basy asked.
Seften laughed at her question. Brick chuckled along, it was a solid guess for sure. Considering the name and how Brick and Seften didn't look like the best of guys. Maybe Brick only, but Seften tended to hang out with what the other priests called. The wrong crowd.
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But it was natural to laugh if someone thought a cities garbage dump was so bad it spawned monsters.
"No, it isn't anything like a garbage dump. There was a dungeon a way's back, spatial aligned. And source varies on what happened, but one day. An explosion happened right where it was. Terrible thing. Devastated the economy of the city and everything surrounding it. Thousands died, thousands more just left. But because of that explosion, it created an area of spatial instability, which caused hundreds if not thousands of portals to be created."
Seften took a swing of his drink before continuing.
"People gathered and started to take and sell things they found from the portals. It soon became large enough to have a guild form. They put some mandates and rules to follow in order to make sure nobody stole or killed from each other. Created a market, and boom. Here we are," Seften gestured around to the people drinking and laughing around him.
"There seem's to be a small number of people here for a guild?" Basy asked.
"Well, we do deal with everything that comes out of the butthole of the universe. Somedays we get treasure galore. Other days we get monsters. And the fuckers that crawl out from the Drop sites, oh boy. They put adventurer monsters to shame."
"I guess when the only solution is to throw them into a portal to who knows where they tend to be pretty deadly."
"You said it," Seften said as finished a drink and ordered another. While Grum was unconscious, she had set up some automated golems to serve customers if she was too busy or tired.
Brick smiled as his drink came. A cup of fermented cedar grown from Botanical gardens. The gardens Privy operated when she wasn't waving that book around.
"Well, where did you come from?" Brick asked.
"And why did Bucket destroy the door like that?"
"Well..." Basy replied
Bucket knocked on the tavern door, dressed with nothing but some pants, a sword, a helmet. And some stupid heretical sandals that he had to use when his shoes fell apart halfway on his journey.
Basy the Demon. Or what he liked to call himself a Spirit. Had given him basic directions to this place, when he had asked if Bucket. Dear Flappy, he was using the name it had given him. If Basy could do anything else.
Bucket had refused so fast, that Basy couldn't even comprehend it. Bucket's high Dex had made him uncontrollably fast.
The door opened with a grunt, and a small Dole came out. Bucket didn't even think, his blade was unsheathed quick and with an Over Head Blow, Bucket split the Dole into two pieces.
Basy of course screamed, he had been on Bucket's shoulder.
The bartender just looked at the dead Dole, then he looked at the two bouncers he had hired recently. All of them were Dole's, to Bucket's growing horror.
Dole's were the ancient enemy of Flappy, and they were to be purged on sight. It was the holy command of his church, their appearance was too vicious to describe.
Basy would describe it as a short puppy that had two green eyes and a horn coming out of its forehead. They were the definition of cute, so Basy was well in his right to scream when Bucket murdered him.
After all, wouldn't you scream if you saw a puppy die? If not, get some help.
Bucket charged at the first bouncer, who was currently holding up two plates and brought his blade through him. The cute pup falling in two with a look of confusion on his face. Bucket immediately turned around only to be struck by a flying kick straight to the face.
Bucket retaliated by grabbing the pup's throat and snapping the Dole's neck with ease. Bucket then turned towards the bartender and hurled the corpse in his hands straight at him. Like a furry missile, the Dole rocked forth and smashed straight into the bartender.
He let out a scream of pain, before pulling a lever next to him. As the Dole died, it let out a simple word to Bucket and Basy.
"Why?"
Bucket and Basy immediately heard the alarm sound, Bucket immediately used his skill Flame Weapons 101 and War Magic(Criminal Edition). Creating a massive ball of flames that turned forth and immediately struck the array of alcohol next to the two dead Dole's.
Bucket and Basy quickly escaped into the night, with the guards of the small Dole village finding an inn burning down to the ground.
"Holy shit."
"Yup," Basy said as he finished recounting the tale.
"Wait, but that doesn't tell us anything on why he bust down the door?" Brick asked.
"Oh that, right. You see, one of the passing townsfolk mentioned there was a priest here who worshipped the Drensic Pantheon?" Basy asked.
Seften nodded and raised his hand, "That's me."
"Yeah, well Bucket worshipped Flappy, specifically. The GOOD version."
"You've got to be kidding me," Seften groaned.
Brick was confused. "Hey Seften, what does GOOD stand for?" He asked.
"Nothing good," Seften replied as he downed his entire drink.
"Ironic, huh?" Brick asked.
"Oh you have no idea," Seften replied.
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