Bucket was running as fast as he physically could.

Though that wasn't very much when you had seven tons of pure metal on you and you put everything into Str and Faith.

But Bucket didn't care about his poor choice in stat allocation as he ran towards the gate at full speed. His chest heaved and hoed as he stopped for another breath. He was currently still a mile away from the battle, which was something the crusader inside him wouldn't stand for.

So Bucket continued to run towards the battle.

Switching over to that infinitely more interesting occurrence. The knights were surrounded on all sides, the work of a Conjurer having reinforced the pitiful heretics to new bounds. Massive stone structures praising the worship of Glavin, who took the form of a many-headed hawk with three flaming eyes.

And Cortox, the devil who had felled three of Lord Flappy's sons, who took the form of twisting earthly vortex with seven silver diamonds inside. Each one inscribed with centuries worth of lost and ancient magical knowledge.

Several other demons directly opposed to Lord Flappy from Seritenth the Bird Watched, to Quzatol of the evil tiny Snakes. Cortox and Glavin were by far the most pressing of the stone monuments if they had even an ounce of the true being's power.

The good news was they didn't. The bad news was that they still were fifty ton massive stone statues ready to murder them all.

But as any crusader worth their salt will tell you, stone can never stop faith. Though that was due to the sheer number of believers that threw themselves at said stone rather than any type-advantage.

With a deafening roar that empowered even Bucket, who was still a goddamn mile away from the battle. The leader of the horde of knights stepped out, a divine aura of faith and power rushed out of the man's armor. Creating a shield of pure power between him and the heretics.

The shield held the sacred image of Lord Flappy. Crafted with nearly all of the leader's faith, who was aptly named Leadarius Con Artist of Faithful Exposition, let's just call him Lex for short. The man turned around and yelled at his host of knights, "Are we going to let some heretic pansies surround us and fell us! No! If I die, I'm dying on a mountain of heretic corpses!" Lex then abruptly charged straight into the massive blob of confused heretics with a scream of pure vengeance.

His army did not fall behind, they charged with him, forming into a massive arrow of horses and screaming men and singular woman as they crashing right into the army of heretics. The holy shield struck first right into the army of pagan devil-worshippers with an abrupt smash!

The shield ripping straight through the hordes of heretics like a hot knife through butter.

Cost: 11,000 FP, Range: Medium, Stat: Faith and Def Holy Shield of Flappy: A barrier of powerful faith created in the image of your holy lord, this defense shall not shake in the mounting odd's of unshakable defeat. This shield will protect anyone under your banner till it's power runs out. It can also be used as a weapon! Take that dad! And you said shields were worthless when fighting a person! Cost: (U) Any Energy, Range: (U), Stat: Mag, Faith, End, and Pow OverCharge: When you need to increase the firepower of your fireball beyond the norms! Powering these skills since 1987 to make sure your fireball is the best fireball, go beyond!

Bucket nearly tripped as two new messages from Flapp's system graced him with their knowledge. He had forgotten that he hadn't turned off Identify.

Lex led his forces through the massive horde of heretics deeper into the city. The heretic's feeble ranged weapons doing nothing except slowing the horde of faithful warriors down. The group guarding the gate quickly ran after the holy warriors. Most were comprised of peasants and farmers. Which gave him an idea.

While it would be humiliating, he would have to do it to draw some heretics away from his brethren. And more importantly, actually, let him murder some heretics.

With a single sigh, and a confused mental question mark from Basy, the demon in him. He activated the Farmers Mating Call.

Lex smashed his shield right into the small army of puny ranged weapon heretics. While the shield made him unable to murder any of them. A large chunk tripped and fell flat on their face from the massive barrier of holy energy dividing them up.

Giving his knights the perfect opportunity to strike. Heretics weren't honorable, so it was perfectly okay to smash them in the heads with kicks and swords. Or kicks to the nuts and jugular.

His knight's blade drew rivers of blood as they ripped through the wall of heretical bodies.

He then heard something interesting.

A sound cloaked in horny power ripped through the city with a blast. The power leaving him with a revolting sensation as he and his men continued the charge.

The sound stopped after several minutes. Seemingly having done nothing but leave him and many of his men with revolting sensations. He definitely needed to have a confession with his personal priest after this.

And a talk with the manager of holy sound-based skills to find out what this was, and ban the skill from being used by any of Flappy's faithful.

The ground then started to tremble as something massive seemed to approach them. What was it this time, was it a greater demon summoned from the depths of hell to stop their holy crusade? Was it a massive army of holy pilgrims, running towards their saviors ready to help them?

Was it something grander than that? Perhaps Lord Flappy themself coming to congratulate him and his men for being faithful stallions? Or was it the unholy opposite of lord Flappy, the dreaded Nae-Nae Ninety herself!

Turn's out it was something slightly less horrifying, a massive wave of naked peasants came out of the nearest corner. Hundreds of them both men and women charging straight at the bastion of holy crusaders with lustful faces.

Thankgod lord Flappy protected them from all that was deviant and lustful. It was time for some mass circumcision.

Basy looked awestruck as Bucket called upon the skill he had gained from the system error. Basy knew it was a joke skill, so he never would've thought that the skill would be used again. Especially when the user was a holy celibate knight.

But desperate times called for desperate measures. Although the skill was buggy, it wasn't going to screw them over again right?

You have used the skill Farmers Mating Call, error (&*G^&A#$%$^bn&nSV3B6DD47B[email protected]$!##@!>>>>>>, Recalibrating, fixing range. Error-Error. Farmers Mating Call has doubled in range! Level Up! Level Up! Farmer's Mating Call had leveled up into Peasants Mating Call! Sexual Madness has been added to the skill! You have used the Skill Peasants Mating Call!

What. The. Fuck.

That was going through both Bucket's and Basy's mind as they read the new skill description, so anyone classified as a peasant would be targeted by the skill? 'At least let some of them be a hot woman' Basy thought.

Bucket thought differently, "Yes, more heretics to murder all by myself!" Bucket was anticipating this in joy. He would finally be able to murder as many if not more heretics than any other person in the entire fore of warriors sent to purge this village!

But Bucket forgot one fatal flaw, not for him of course, he was still around half a mile away from the battle. Peasants were usually civilians during a battle like this, for the most part, meaning they were all usually located in the same place for the most part.

So if even a fraction of them were to become too horny to control. That was still a large number of people coming towards them. And the only things between him and the wave was a massive amount of his holy brethren and the heretical guards fighting them. Oh and Mickey.

That's when Bucket felt a massive wave come through the ground for a second time, and for a second time, he fell flat on his face like an idiot. As he slowly picked himself up, Bucket looked at where his holy brethren were to fin hundreds of peasants rushing towards them crotch first.

But that wasn't what he was focusing on, or what Basy was screaming and cursing at. Bucket watched as a massive wave of men and woman (None under the age of eighteen of course) Smash through buildings and people alike.

Bucket watched a massive wave of horny men and women ripped through the streets in the thousands. Leaving nothing but ruins and hormones in their wake.

That was when Bucket felt for the first time in his life fear(Though it was the second time if you took into account the baby drug debacle I had to mind-wipe him for)

Billy looked at his world after all the contents of his stomach had emptied itself out on the floor.

His world was misshaped to the point of lunacy, dozens of protoplanets had smashed into the world before being paused with his power. Leaving massive circular 'mountains' which had displaced the local land so much that it had basically turned into an ocean.

His 'system' had probably caused that to happen. Systems were the rules of the world empowered by a god after all. So he looked into the world system's logs and sure enough, found the logs detailing what had happened.

It had also let him notice the huge amounts of errors and confused upside-down question marks that had marked the system's logs. Many of the errors were about monster spawning and drop item spawning. So that was fixable.

Billy decided to take a look at the people, seeing as how bugged certain parts of the system were. He wondered if civilization still existed. It surprisingly did, being part of a basic medieval society for the most part.

Most people had crafting classes or civilian classes, but Billy noticed that everyone had at least one class that had a focus on combat by at least 7%.

Which was the sign that the world was much more dangerous than he had thought, though with the bugged monster spawning it made sense that people were ready for the day when a mimic was created in their bedroom.

Billy looked through the world, noting how lots of cities seemed to be looking well for the most part. That was when he got to his 312th city. Which was the city which was spewing massive amounts of horny peasants.

Billy quickly went to the system control to try to stop the horny wave, but his world's controls were buggy as fuck. It took him seven minutes to get to the smite option by which time the wave had been much reduced but had also left the city reduced as well.

He quickly struck the smite option and put it on the city. Pressing the button quickly, he got this response.

Smite Options Frog Rain: A classic in stupidity, make it rain frogs all day long and fill the world with these treacherous amphibians!

Flappy Drop: Throw the fucking corpse of Flappy onto the city and call it a day! Take that you cultist fucks!

Flood: An actual classic, make anyone with a fear of water scream in terror as you accidentally spill a cup of water on the planet! Let's hope eighty percent of the population doesn't know how to swim! Demon Summoning: Hell-o this is the demon 66616 with your order. Which infernal hellspawn would you like to pick? How about Genesis the Many-Headed Bitch for all those divorce problems! What about BloodRain the Wicked! If you want something more classic and edgy? We won't judge, we promise! ERRRRRRRROOOORR

"What the fuck did I do, also what do you mean my pet bird's dead and is a god!"

Billy yelled in confusion as he looked upon the many horrible options. Without much choice he chose the throw Demon Summoning one. With lighting fast action he chose to summon a massive horde of Imp suicide bombers to clear the city out.

Just what in the hell did he make!?