I’m afraid to wear my own hat in public now.

All the things that Tad spoke of have come to pass, though I don’t fully understand why. All I know is that I’m hearing the name “Amon” being tossed around in hushed conversation amongst the people of Gridania.

I know full well, they’re talking about me. …Or rather… my maker. But I can never catch exactly why or in what context. I know ‘tisn’t good, whatever they’re saying, and I have a hunch that ‘tis connected to the working of the Towers and the rumors of the End of Days.

Ironically, for all the time I’ve lived here in Eorzea, I’ve never been afraid to use my real name or wear my replica hat. Such a tiny population of people, especially in the forest land, had any true historical knowledge of who Amon of Allag was. If they did, ‘twas mostly footnotes in the overall shaky common knowledge of the Empire.

Mayhaps I was a bit too smug, it seems. Using my name and gallivanting about in my hat, thinking I was clever to be the Allagan in plain sight right under their noses without them comprehending! ‘Twas quite the game I played, but now something has changed and the tables are turned.

I’ve hung up my hat and finery for a different set of bardic gear – just the basic bard stuff. I am too nervous to busk among the people in my Allagan made hat… at least until I learn more about what these rumors are and how… how… my maker has come to be in common talk of the forest people.

Mayhaps I need to even consider a stage name going forward. That might be prudent.

Not that I’ve had much energy or will to perform as of late. I am still caught up in a whirlwind of ambivalence, and am quite drained from the taxation of it all. This newest development has only added to the stress.

I suppose I could ask Scylla and Tad to keep an ear out and bring back their findings on the situation. Though Tad seems to still know things that he’s not sharing, it appears that we’re going to hit a crossroads where he will have little choice but to tell me what he suspects.

I know he means no harm by this and is only trying to protect me. But from what? What could be so terrible – after revealing that I’m but a clone – that he feels he has to wait until ‘tis no other option but to discuss it?

Mayhaps I don’t want to know.

And Scylla… she’s another strange case. If anything, she’s been more gentle and encouraging than ever after all this. I was beside myself when she defended me in our discussion with Tad. Even more, she seems to be quite ready to pick up and do whatever needs to be done to find answers about what’s going on.

I am full glad that she is on my side in this situation, don’t get me wrong. ‘Tis just very unexpected.

So, mayhaps, once I steel myself for whatever revelation is to come, I shall ask for Scylla’s assistance in tracking down this information that is spreading through rumor and talk. I just don’t know if I’m ready to face it quite yet.

-A