A year ago, if you’d told me that I’d be stumbling my way through learning how the arts of conjury worked, I’d have laughed. Long and hard.

The magics I devised in my previous lifetime were meant for self-preservation and, in the case of attack, to ward off the enemy. And aye, I did come up with Curtain Call myself. I’m fairly proud of it, too! The workings of these magics had much to do with pooling a large and unnatural amount of self-aether, and sometimes using something else (such as Syrcus Tower) as a focus or a means of dispersing a spell.

Why do I bring this up?

Because the art of conjury handles aether quite differently.

Instead of reaching within oneself and relying on your own power – a philosophy often found in the Allagan way of thinking – conjury reaches outside oneself, asking the Elementals to gift you power to bring about some kind of change within the world. Often, this is for healing, but just as readily, it could be used for destruction.

I’m not entirely sure what got into me last winter when I decided to dip my toe into the curiosities of these Gridanian secrets. Mayhaps I wanted to prove to Scylla that my intentions are good and no longer aligned with what they once were… I felt the only way to do this was in a grand gesture. Learning to heal others was as grand as I could think.

Or mayhaps ‘tis something older and deeper. I have been told that the Gridanian Council suffers my presence because ‘tis the will of the Elementals that I be here. I’m no Hearer, so I cannot divine what the Spirits have in mind for me or why I’m of interest to them. I thought that in walking a path closer to the unknown, I might uncover what plots the Elementals might have.

Indeed, my heritage is one linked back to the Elementals of old in that my mother was of the Forest Singer tribes. ‘Twas well known that I was meant to inherit her mantle, and all expected me to be one of the next Singers. Obviously, that did not come about.

Despite that, I doubt the Elementals have forgotten the pact of my mother’s people – ‘tis something that still runs in my blood. So, in taking up conjury, mayhaps I sought to understand my place in the wild world.

But that also hasn’t happened, despite the fact the Spirits have granted me leave to study further into the realms of White Magic. This… apparently is not something that many have the chance to learn, though Scylla is far more advanced in the arts of White Magic than I. And she wasn’t even forestborn.

Mayhaps Allagan knowledge of aether and the workings of magic have given us an edge over the typical Eorzean. Not to sound conceited, but many forms of magic – and the crafting of our own types of magics – were well known to us. It should not be a surprise that a once Arch Mage and High Technologist can work their way through restricted arts.

I won’t say that it came easily to me, however. No, relying on something outside of myself to gift me the aether to cast magic is completely foreign to me in every way. It almost felt like begging – and I wonder if ‘tis the point. One must learn humility in order to please the Spirits and earn the right to use their aether for your own spells.

It also seems somewhat inefficient if you ask me. I’m sure there has to be a way to get the same things accomplished even with cutting out the middle man. But I don’t make up the rules, and to research into that would not win me friends amongst the Elementals nor the Gridanians, I’m sure.

While I have come a long way in my studies and in applying the arts, I feel ‘tis still much and more that I have yet to learn. I still have not come to understand the will of the Spirits, nor have I heard the Elementals speak.

My way forward is not very clear to me. But when has it ever been, I suppose?

-A