《How Zantheus Fell into the Sky》52. Depression
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Anthē did not have a reason to get out of bed.
So she didn’t. She had fallen asleep while singing a lullaby, half to Tromo, half to herself. The story she had made up for him had helped and she had even dared to tread its landscape in her dreams. But now each time she surfaced from her sleep she found herself confronted by cruel reality. So she had got to Qereth. But now that she was here she had found that she had lost the one thing she desired most –not really a thing at all but a person. He had turned around and walked away from her in silence. And now the world was lifeless. She could not think of one reason to compel her to get up and face the day. So she carried on allowing herself to sink down into the short dreams that punctuated the last hours of her broken doze, and each time afterwards they would break apart on the slowly dawning day, and the disjunction would drive her back down into the dream world again. At one point she became aware that Tromo had gotten out of bed, for she could no longer feel his quivering breathing nearby. It became harder and harder to descend into the unreal, but she had no desire for the real. She could hear a song, a musical instrument being played. Was that part of the dream or did it belong to the real world? She opened her eyes and realised it was Tromo playing his ocarina. It was a piercing melody that rose and fell in soaring swoops, calling the day into existence. As he played, the room grew brighter, the orange soaking through the closed curtains grew hotter. At last Anthē sat up in bed, blinking the sleep away from her eyes.
“You’ve gotten very good at that,” she said to Tromo, stood by the window. Somehow she had found the strength to wake up somewhere in his melody. She got up and drew the curtains. The streets were already lined with people. Qereth was awake. She thought she had probably gotten up too late for breakfast. “Why don’t we go and see what Leukos is doing?” Tromo nodded. They went into the corridor and knocked on Leukos’s door.
“Come in,” he said. Inside, Leukos was sat writing at his desk. He did not raise his head to acknowledge them.
“Always writing,” said Anthē.
“Yes,” said Leukos, and smiled, a rarity. “Though I am nearly finished. My book has nearly come to an end.”
“Oh, that’s exciting...” Anthē thought back to her time with Sophia by the river. “Have you thought of a way for it to end?”
“Yes,” said Leukos. “I’ve known for a long time. I saw it coming a long way off. Shall we go for a walk?” He stood up from the desk.
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“Where to?”
“Well, we might as well take a day just to explore the city. I’ll stay a little while longer. I still have a good amount of money left. You can get down to finding a job and a place to stay more permanently tomorrow.”
“Alright, then. Thank you, Leukos,” said Anthē. She was not excited by the prospect of having to find work, though nothing really excited her at the moment. “What do you think, Tromo?”
Tromo smiled. He did not mind, so long as he was still being allowed to stay with Anthē. He missed Zantheus.
“We can have lunch in the central square,” said Leukos. “There are lots of food-sellers around it that let you sit and eat at tables outside.”
“Alright, let’s do that,” said Anthē.
The day was bright and clear. The three of them strolled down the streets at their own pace, taking in the sky properly. They traced the same path that Zantheus had taken the day before, finding their way onto the wide north-south road and keeping to it, coming to the square just around lunchtime. As usual, it teemed with people, a wild throng of activity.
“Stay close to me,” Anthē said to Tromo. They held onto each other’s hands.
The trio worked their way through the melee, ignoring the shouted offers of bargains, dodging the occasional person in a particular hurry, and made for a small building in the north-west corner of the square with the tables and chairs that Leukos had mentioned outside. They sat down at a vacant table and soon a short man with a moustache came up to them and told them what was being served for lunch today. That would be fine. In due course they were eating their meal, looking out over the square.
“So many people...” said Anthē.
“I know,” said Leukos. “And each one absorbed in their own private world, for the most part, totally occupied with the affairs of their own lives. Rush rush rush, then it’s all over, in the blink of an eye.”
This was quite a morbid and unusually direct observation for Leukos, but it suited Anthē’s mood.
“People are strange, aren’t they...?” she said. Her eyes rested on one man, probably in his thirties, dressed smartly, carrying a sack of something. He looked totally unhappy, his face set in a determined but tired expression. He was charging across the square, off to make his next appointment or delivery, or whatever it was, definitely locked in his own private world, as Leukos had described it. It was depressing. She took her eyes off him and watched Tromo eating. At least she had him. It would not be such a bad thing her having to look after him until they found his family. Only, she wished that she had someone around to help her...
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Tromo realised he was being watched and smiled bashfully at her. She smiled back. As they finished their meal, she and Leukos chatted about what work she could possibly hope to find in the city. Leukos went through a long list of suggestions –everything from shop-assistant to washerwoman– but nothing appealed to her. In the end, Leukos said “Well, I suppose you could always do what Krestotes does.”
“What’s that?”
“Rescue people from Abaddon. You could go and help in the girls’ recovery house. But that might be harder for Tromo.”
“Oh. Well I want to make sure Tromo is looked after. And I will. I’d definitely prefer to do a job like that though –helping people in a more significant way...”
“...not just turning the machinery of this self-absorbed city...” mumbled Leukos.
“Pardon?”
“Never mind. Well, maybe you will be able to do something like that and support yourself and Tromo at the same time. You can keep a look out for opportunities.”
“I hope so,” said Anthē.
That might help get her out of bed in the mornings each day: Knowing that she was helping this little boy, that she would be able to help other people in some small way during the day, even if in her own heart she felt terribly sad.
When they had finished eating and Leukos had paid the foodseller, he said “Right, we have to part ways for a short while now, Anthē.”
“Really?” she asked. “Why?”
“I’ve arranged to meet someone in this square soon. By myself. I won’t be long. You and Tromo can look round the stalls while I go and find them.”
“Alright.” She paused. “Aren’t you going to tell me who it is?”
“No,” said Leukos.
Anthē thought for a moment. Then she took a risk and said “Is it Sophia?”
Leukos’s eyes went wide.
“How…?”
Anthē had never seen him look so surprised. “She came to me, once, when we were sailing up Nahar. While you were sleeping.”
“She did…”
“Yes. She made me promise not to tell any of you, but I couldn’t help myself any more. Leukos, she said you were in danger. She said that someone was hunting you.”
Leukos just stared straight ahead for a few moments. He was still writing, but he looked ahead.
“Is it true?” said Anthē. “Are you in danger? And is she the person you’ve been chasing?”
“Of course it’s true,” said Leukos. He started to speak more to himself than to Anthē. “I wonder why she chose to reveal herself to you now… She must be confused as to why I brought you along. It was so you could help look after Tromo, obviously, and because I saw something else ahead for you and… Well, never mind that now. What’s done is done.”
“Are you really in danger, Leukos?”
Leukos looked at her once more. “Anthē, listen to me. Now that I know you’ve met Sophia, I can tell you some things. But I’m only going to tell you once.” Anthē and Tromo each leaned in, hanging on his every word. “Shortly before I met you and Zantheus, Sophia and I were traveling in a distant country called Shul. We were meant to stay there for a long time, but something plans went wrong in our plans. So we were forced to leave and return to our homeland, beyond Qereth, over the Aythian mountains. On the way, I decided to bring Zantheus, Tromo and you along with me, and it helped that you wanted to come. I brought Zantheus for our protection, because, yes, someone from Shul is chasing me because they want me dead. Sophia didn’t want to travel with us because she thought it would be safer for everyone.”
“But why do they want you dead, Leukos? And why would that make it safer for everyone?”
“It’s hard to explain. It’s to do with Enlightenment.”
“Enlightenment? That thing which Zantheus believes is at the top of the mountain and gthe Philosophers kept talking about it? What about it?”
Leukos spoke quietly. “Sophia and I believe it’s found somewhere else.”
“Where?”
“In our homeland. But the Academy and the Government of Qereth and Zantheus’s Order all don’t like this. They use the idea of Enlightenment to control people. That’s why they don’t want the truth about it to be exposed.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You will, in time. But don’t worry, Anthē, you’re going to be fine. Everything’s going to be alright. You have to do exactly what I say, though.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to meet me back here at three o’clock. There’s a big clock tower just on the north side of the square. Can you do that?”
“Yes, but—”
“No ‘but’. You’re right, I’m going to meet Sophia. I’m pretty sure that she’s going to pass through this square this afternoon I think I can convince her now to let me leave you here and carry on the final part of our journey with her. Tromo will be safe here with you and Zantheus. Meet me back here at three o’clock, once I’ve seen her.”
“I…alright then...” Anthē yielded.
At this Leukos immediately got up and walked off with his book. Anthē and Tromo watched him disappear into the crowds of people. After a few moments, she said “Well little one, that was strange, wasn’t it? Let’s go and have a look round the square while we wait for Leukos to come back, shall we?”
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