The man opened his eyes to nothing except the clear blue sky. “What the fuck...” the man thought looking at the purple orb in the sky. From the looks of it, it gave off warm rays of light. His feet started become red seconds perhaps it was because of the sand he was standing on but not a second later his legs and up took on the hue of a juicy pair of tomatoes...he realized he was naked. Desperately looking around for something cover himself with much like a middle-aged mom looking through a ball pit to find their disease-ridden child, a stone, some leaves, heck even a pile of nettles would be better than walking around like you’re part of a nudist club.

Then he found it the garden of Eden, the fountain of youth, his own Mt Olympus a bush that looked like it was about to get snapped by its own pressure, it was circular almost like some autistic cactus with no spikes. He ran on the blazingly hot sand towards his new best friend picking them up and using them as a makeshift skirt by shoving both of his feet into said bushy friend from the top then pulling them to his waist. Satisfied with his new attire he looked around for the next important thing to his survival, civilization.

He crossed his legs down on the floor of hades that was the sand, for the first time in his life, he had to think about the situation he was in “Ok... so I woke up in a desert naked, the sun is purple, there’s no big cities with cunts around.... this must mean that...” “THAT I GOT ISEKAID!” he yelled out into the sky hoping for someone to hear. Luckily someone did hear... in fact a lot of people herd from the sounds of it.

He felt a sharp blade touch his neck. A man’s monotone voice was herd “Throw him in with the others” another voice followed “But sir he wasn’t on th-” this voice however was cut off by the first “Are you paid to ask questions...hurry up or you might end up in that cart also.” The man turned his head back seeing a glimpse of the man’s white hair however the impact of what felt like a metal bar knocking on his head like a sadistic knock-knock joke, ironically knocked him out.

Much like the start of a shitty game from his past world, he opened his eyes to a small child she had long pink hair that was tied up into three individual pony tails she was also wearing something that looked like a swim suit with and an edgy cosplay consisting of iron shoulder pads, gloves and boots with the colour of Onyx. She was looking straight into his face grinning a sadistic smile that could only be taken as “I’m the boss, fucker”.

He quickly stood up and ran towards what he assumed was his captor with his fists clenched ready to punch this brat in their stupid shit eating grin of a face.

However, he soon realized it wouldn’t be that easy when he dropped to the ground realizing he had a chain collar on his neck. He gritted his teeth “what the hell do you want from me, child” The child wore an unimpressed look hearing the same conversation at least a billion times, she looked out the window. The sun was starting to go down. She flicked her hair.

He felt his neck got zapped with the power of Zeus's lightning bolt. Realizing that he would get shocked again if he said something out of line, he sat there waiting for the child to do something.

“name” she said in an uninterested tone. “Alphine” Alphine quickly replied. “Age...” she asked “28” The child looked back and called out “Yo I didn’t know this one’s blind” a few laughs so deep that they could’ve been a demons replied. The child laughed "Kid lying isn’t going to get you anywhere”. Alphine thought to himself “What does she mean lying...wait no, oh fuck no.”

Alphine took the deepest breath possible inhaling all of the universe's air before exhaling it all in one sigh “twelve” Alphine said. “Right, this is the last one, thank fuck I don’t have to spend another minute around you, Star sign and time” Alphine was sitting atop the dirty wooden floor contemplating why the fuck did this info matter never the less he replied “uhhh Capricorn, thirteenth of June” The room fell more silent then it was previously “Lad’s I knew he was retarded when I saw him wearing a Sandnet as pants” The room was filled with laughter of different tones some high pitched and nasally, some snorting in between chuckles.

“Okay well I don’t feel like continuing this questionnaire since you have the iq that of a roach rat I’ll just say N/A and cut to the chase”. Alphine after hearing the child's comment realized something, when he looked down at himself “I AM STILL WEARING THE FUCKING BUSH.”

The child picked up on why Alphine suddenly clicked in with the rest of reality but decided to continue “You are going to go to the mines, have fun.” She waved a vindictive wave as a circle appeared under Alphine, glowing a vibrant blue, he tried to get a closer look at the circle's patterns however the circle disappeared almost as quickly as it appeared and before he knew it, he was in the cave.

Alphine’s eyes wondered over to the muscular figure standing before him. It looked like a....monkey. It pointed over to a small pile dirty clothes then it said one word in a very high-pitched tone “wear” Needless to say Alphine didn’t have anything against wearing the hand me downs because currently he was wearing a bush.

Alphine walked over to the pile of rags and much to his surprise he found pants that were only slightly chewed up and a shirt that looked like it was shat, pissed, and bled on however other than that it was really nice.

Then the monkey gestured his hand to Alphine while walking to the door. The monkey gave Alphine a brief overview of the job “Mine.” The Monkey swung the door open to a giant cavern filled with depressed looking people mining the same old rocks it reminded Alphine a bit of his old life. The door was swung closed, behind it the monkey said “pickaxe, left.”

Alphine looked over to his left and saw a row of pickaxes, he grabbed one of them and walked over to the stone wall he lifted the pickaxes into the air and suddenly collapsed to the ground. Alphine fell face first into a small water puddle he heard chuckles all around.

“Why couldn’t I lift a pickaxe...I mean I'm not really athletic but come on” Alphine stood up and looked down into the puddle seeing that his reflection was of a young boy with greenish yellow hair, purplish red eyes and a very oversized shirt.

Alphine knew something was up when the child that was integrating him laughed when he told her his age but he never expected to actually look like a twelve-year-old child, well at least that explained the laughter. Alphine thought to himself “note to self, children are weak”

Alphine grab the pickaxe and started swinging it in a manor only described as something that would make the creator of the pickaxe cry. It looked more like someone spazzing out on the ground more than mining but it got the job done.

After a while a kid that looked like they were sixteen came into the mining cavern he was wearing the same clothes as everyone else, he had pointy ears a dark and violet spiky afro his skin had a slightly blueish tone. In short, he looked like someone that would cut themselves.

“Hey you, fresh meat, give me your pickaxe!” Alphine gave the kid a what the fuck do you mean look. “What you won’t give it, fine guess I’ll just take it!” The sixteen year old walked over to Alphine and unsurprisingly he snatched the pickaxe with ease. “This job is for tough people not children.”

Alphine’s pickaxe was taken with such force that knocked him down flat on his ass. He closed his eyes and thought to himself “Didn’t this kid learn to respect their elders...oh right”. Suddenly a bell started ringing and a voice called out “alright get moving everyone, the guard will point you to your cell”

Alphine followed everyone like a sheep, a guard looked at him and said “Cell number 28” He walked over to the cell he was assigned, it looked like even bugs were too good for this cell. There were three beds each one of them were a stone slab with some rough cotton rags thrown over like some sadistic way of pretending life is decent.

Alphine sighed and walked over to his slab and laid on it, slowly he closed his eyes and he drifted off to sleep. Another voice was heard in the other bed.

“Finally a tough bed for tough people.”