“Mona, what the hell was that thing with my butt?” he asks sitting up on the bed, and I have to suppress a chuckle at his sullen expression.

“You liked that, didn’t you?” I tease, remembering how fast and intensely he’d released in my mouth.

“Honestly, maybe…” he says and he’s clearly not happy to admit it, but that just further adds to my satisfaction. “But it was outside the scope of what we have discussed, so it wasn’t cool that you just forced that on me” he reprimands.

I guess he’s right… Honestly, protocol has been out the window since we first started this relationship. Normally I would have a submissive fill out a form about their preferences and limits at the beginning of a relationship so there would be no ambiguity. But he seemed so put off by it when I sent it to him by mail, and afterwards it didn’t come up again. Of course we’ve been discussing it, just not extensively as I usually would’ve and nothing in writing. Which is why I have been very careful and kept things light. Engaging in these activities is risky if you don’t have clear boundaries.

Had he complained any more than he did, I wouldn’t have continued, but honestly…most men say they don’t like their behind being explored, but I have converted at least a dozen of such guys in my time. He did seem to enjoy it, but we probably need to talk and preferably fill out the form.

“I’m sorry. I thought you would like it…” I say, batting my eyelashes. “If you want, you can do whatever you want to me next time?”

His eyes narrow, then a smirk form on his lips.

“Whatever I want?” he asks, and the lust in his mischievous expression almost gets me excited again.

“Within certain limits, of course” I quickly correct him, and he looks slightly dejected. “I think we should talk again about our preferences and I’d really like us to take a look at that form I sent you. You know the one I emailed you back then…”

“Right. Yeah, that would probably be a good idea” he agrees. “Honestly, I only glanced over it back then, but we should be more prepared if we’re going to do more of this from now on.”

“Exactly. We’ve been completely off script… Why does everything seem to get so messed up with you?”

He tilts his head and his eyes furrow. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” I pause, not sure how to formulate my response. “Nothing goes as usual with you, I…normally I would never do these things without clear boundaries and…the vanilla sex…”

I don’t even know how to explain my though process. How do I explain all the ways he confuses me and makes me steer of course? Nothing seems to go according to plan when he is involved, and I always do things I’m not used to and say things I normally wouldn’t. There’s a myriad of barriers and boundaries that becomes blurred or have completely disappeared. He turns everything upside down on a daily basis.

“I… You confuse me, Aaron. You turn my world upside town… I don’t know how you do it.” I guess the reason I can even tell him this honestly, is also due to his influence. But it’s vexing.

His eyes widen in surprise but then his features soften, and he chuckles as he slides back down next to me.

“I hope that’s a good thing” he says with a smile as he kisses my forehead.

I sigh and gesture resignation, “I have no idea.”

He chuckles again.

“Do you have that file on hand so we can print a copy now? I think I deleted the email.”

I nod. “Of course I do. Who do you think I am?” He gives me a suspicious look, but a smile lurks underneath.

“Well that’s good, but you aren’t going to need them anymore after this, remember?” he tells me, trying to sound stern and now it’s my turn to chuckle.

“Of course.” I smile and get up from the bed to put on bit of clothing and fetch my phone.

“..dear” I add sarcastically, making him frown, though his smile quickly returns. He gets up as well to turn on the computer at his desk and while it boots up, he slides into his pants. Then he sits down and clicks around the keyboard while I find the file and email it to him.

“I’m printing two copies. You’re going to need one as well” he says, nose into the screen and a smirk on his lips. I shudder a little. Is he suggesting he wants to dominate me as well?

“Why?” I ask him, a chill running down my spine.

“Well, you said you were going to let me do what I want next time, so maybe I’d like to try a few things as well.”

I feel my heart patter and swallow. He has held my wrists down a few times, and I’ve let him tease me to some extent, but I’ve been consciously avoiding anything more extensive than that. I don’t know if I could do that, don’t know how I’d react and what memories it might stir…

“I-I don’t know if I-I’d be comfortable with that, Aaron…” I stutter, clenching my fist to try to calm my anxiety.

“What? Can’t take the heat yourself?” he teases, spinning around on his chair but his voice halts as his eyes land on me and his smile fades.

“Why, what’s wrong?”

I look down and try to swallow the lump in my throat. I thought I was masking my expression well, but as always, he surprises me with his uncanny ability to see right through me.

“Do you have a bad experience with that or something?” he inquires, and I nod. More than just one.

“Well, maybe I can help you get over that and it could also help build trust between us?”

“No, Aaron!” I inject and I’m surprised by the loudness of my voice and quickly cover my mouth when I see his surprised expression.

“I-I’m sorry…” I stutter, lowering my voice. “But I’m just not comfortable with it…”

“Why?” There’s something in his tone…something that makes sweat pebble down my spine.

I can’t answer him. I can’t tell him about all the awful things my brother did to me. I couldn’t take it if he looked at me with pity or disgust.

“It’s your brother, isn’t it?”

I feel my breath hitch and a lightheaded panic spread as his question echoes in my head. He figured it out. No…no!

I whip my head up to look at him, too late in realizing that my reaction just confirmed his suspicions. A painful stab courses through my chest as my worst fears are actualized. The look in his eyes is first shock, then repulsion…then pity.