《Say That You Want Me》Episode 13: Defeat
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I can’t give in to this man. I can’t let him win. I think this, but his hands are on my body like a wildfire and his lips make me shiver with pleasure.
“Go out with me” he asks me again.
“…No” I tell him, begging him in my mind to stop asking – If he does, I might give in.
He pushes up my shirt and bra, and his hands and lips find snow covered mountains and their rosy peeks. I can’t even think straight, my body shivering. How does he do this to me? Why do I let him?
“Go out with me”
His raspy voice filled with desire makes me shiver, but mustn’t give in. I don’t want him to stop, but the thought of letting him into my life scares me even further. I can’t let him get his way.
“No” I say, mustering all my strength to refuse.
Please give up, please.
He pulls away from me and looks at me with blue eyes that I fear I will become lost in. Then he sighs.
“Fine” he says, “Thanks for the coffee”.
Then turns around to leave.
What? He’s leaving? In the middle of this? I look at my exposed chest, my body hungering for him.
“Wait” I hear myself blurt out.
“What?”
He glances over his shoulder and I swear I spot a little mischief in his eyes.
What was I even going to say to him? I don’t want to give in to him, but at the same time the sight of him turning away is making my heart beat in a panic. How can I make him stay without agreeing to his demands?
“W-we can talk about a compromise. It’s probably not unreasonable to listen to you a little” I say, hoping this is enough to make him to back down.
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He takes a step towards me and puts his hands on the counter, trapping me with his body. The look in his eyes is dead serious when he tells me:
“It’s all or nothing. Go out with me”
Shit, what do I do? He’s not backing down. I look at him, his eyes makes me both aroused and confused - and scared. Slowly I feel myself nodding in agreement. The power he holds over me makes me tremble.
“Fine” I whisper, and I can barely believe the word coming out of my mouth.
His face lights up and his mouth forms a wide smile. His eyes are full of joy as he leans in to kiss me. First softly, then passionately and it feels like an explosion of lust and desire.
His hands are all over me again and I hear us both panting and moaning. I clasp at his back, scratching, as his lips explore me, and his hands find their way under my skirt.
I jolt and a soft cry escape my lips as his fingers find my opening and start massaging the little knot nestled inside. Warm shivers spread throughout my body. I need more.
With fumbling hands, I release his belt and grab a hold of his throbbing member, moving my hands up and down. His voice sounds so close to my ear, hoarse with desire.
Then he grabs my hips and pulls me towards him, and I feel him searching for my crevice. With a sudden movement he pushes himself inside and I gasp out from the pleasure. I clasp onto his shoulders and lean my head back against the cabinet behind me, feeling his passionate thrusts.
Our moans echo between the kitchen walls and suddenly the waves of blissful release crash over us, leaving us panting in each other’s arms.
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Slowly he raises his head and his lips find mine. I quiver.
What just happened? Now that my senses are slowly returning, I realize: I just agreed to go out with him, didn’t I?
He pulls out and I feel something warm dripping onto the kitchen counter. He’s smiling at me. He quickly closes his belt, then helps me onto the floor while I’m still deep in confusion.
What the hell just happened?
He takes my hand and kisses it, trailing his lips up my forearm and I shiver.
“Want to go for another round in the bedroom? …Girlfriend?” He asks with a sly smile, staring into my eyes with an enchanting look.
“I’m not your girlfriend” I snarl and recoil from his touch.
He scratches his neck and sends me a resigned look.
“You already agreed to go out with me. That makes you my girlfriend”
I grimace. I know, but I want to take it back. As if he’d read my thoughts, he grabs me and pulls me in close, his gaze warm but determined.
“If you say no, I’m leaving and I’m not coming back. If we’re going to do this, it’s going to have be on equal footing. We can explore our sexual preferences and fantasies as we go and I’ll let you dominate me and do as you like, but we’ll also do what I want sometimes.” He says.
I swallow. This is the exact reason I don’t want a relationship. We’ll treat each other as equals, and then I won’t be able to keep him at an arm’s length… But something in his words makes me so warm and comfortable that I lose my will to resist him.
“Fine…” I sigh, “but if I don’t like it, we’re breaking up”
He just chuckles and kisses my forehead.
Then he takes my hand and we make our way to the bedroom. This time we do it slowly, taking our time to explore each other’s bodies. The soft kisses, the sweet moans. It’s a whole new sensation, and neither of us are tied up at any point making it quite the strange experience. Over and over we ride the waves of rousing pleasure and when we are too exhausted to continue, we collapse on the bed panting and dripping with sweat.
He moves up behind me and puts his arms around me, wrapping me in his embrace and it feels both pleasant and uncomfortable. I’ve never done this before.
“What do you even do in a relationship?” I ask him, as we lie there basking in the afterglow.
“I don’t know… Eat together, watch a movie, have sex…?” his low voice resonates close to my ear.
“Isn’t that just being sex friends?” I ask him, still puzzled.
“Hmm… maybe…?” he whispers, then turns me around to look at him.
His toned upper body shines from the sweat of our passion and the look in his eyes is soft and enthralling as he continues:
“but we’ll also be there for each other. Talk about the things that make us happy… Or sad.”
“That doesn’t really sound like my cup of tea” I tell him, my eyes flickering uncomfortably under his gaze.
“I know” he says and give me a soft kiss, “when you’re comfortable. Until then we’ll slowly get to know each other”
“Whatever” I scoff a little nervously.
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