I moved my hand to her long black hair and began untangling it gently with my fingers. I couldn't believe the truth was the right thing to say. We sat that way for a long time. "This is really nice... so peaceful." She was still looking out and listening to the waves.

"I come here to hide away from the world." She might as well know it all. She turned her body around and faced me.

"I can't think of a nicer place to hide away." She cocked her elbow across my knee and used it as a pillow. "You would've made a hell of a nurse. Not many people could have handled today."

"I'm sorry I didn't come back." I realized I was very sorry I made that mistake. I didn't want her to think less of me. I was feeling a bit wimpy and I wanted to be stronger.

"We are two sorry fucked-up individuals." She smiled. I smiled back. "If my memory serves me correctly, this is just the calm before another storm. I better get something in my stomach so it doesn't hurt too bad." I stood up out of the chair and helped Mia up.

"You've done this before?" She was still looking a bit weak. I kept her hand once she was standing.

"Seen it before. I was an RN in another life." She gripped my hand a little tighter and used me to steady her walking a bit. My survival now made a bit more sense. I had a strong desire to know more, but I didn't think it was the right time. She leaned against me as we walked back up to the house. It felt nice, sort of like the waves only a bit better.

"What would you like to eat?" I asked as we entered the kitchen.

"Truthfully? Nothing," she said as she sat on the counter stool. "But I better try to get something down. Bread, maybe?" She didn't look too excited about the proposition. I began rummaging through the cabinets and pantry looking for bread-like items. I found crackers, pancake mix, cornbread mix, and various muffin mixes. No bread.

"Pancakes okay?" It looked like they would be the least invasive of the choices.

"Sure!, No syrup for me, though. Don't think I could handle the sugar." She was developing circles under her eyes. I wondered if she had slept at all last night. I grabbed the pancake mix and spent a few minutes trying to find a measuring cup and mixing spoon to go with a bowl. "You

don't cook much, do you?" She had been studying my assembly.

"Well, it is a new kitchen. Monica stocked it all, and I don't know where anything is yet." I added a stupid smile to try and cover my ignorance.

"The same Monica who told me that if I didn't detox, I would go to jail?" Mia seemed truly intrigued by the web of Monica.

"Yes, and told me to help you detox or she wouldn't speak to me again." I didn't think before I spoke. I regretted my statement immediately and turned to Mia in an attempt to rephrase.

"So you love this Monica?" What? Where did that come from?

"No! Absolutely not! We don't even like each other." I kind of blurted it out quickly. I didn't want anyone thinking I had any romantic desires for Monica.

"So why would you agree to help me?" She seemed intrigued as well as a bit agitated.

"She does things for me." I felt a bit nervous. I was screwing things up again. "I'm not good with people, so I pay her to take care of things." I pointed around the house. "All of this, she did in three weeks." Saying it out loud

sounded a bit ludicrous. I fell back to the truth and quietly added, "I'm glad she made me do it." Mia looked at me funny.

"You're glad she made you clean up my puke?" Mia was incredulous. I should never have opened my mouth. Why can't I ever think before I speak to other people? I couldn't look her in the eyes, so I looked at the floor.

"I'd do it again if it meant you would sit with me on the beach again." God, it sounded pathetic. I was pathetic. I heard a gasp and expected the worse. I wasn't going to hide from it this time. I lifted my head and Mia had a hand over her mouth. She had a strained look in her eyes. I guess she thought it was pathetic too. She shook her head and ran to the hall bathroom.

The retching started immediately followed by coughing and crying. She was in pain, and I felt it. I didn't make the pancakes fast enough. I ran to the bathroom with no idea what I was going to do about it. Her entire body went into convulsions each time she tried to throw up. Hardly anything was coming out, and you could see the pain in her eyes. There was nothing I could do. I sat down next to her and pulled her hair out of the toilet. I spent the next fifteen minutes trying not to cry.

Mia finally pulled back from the rim of the toilet wincing in pain. "God, that hurt!" There were tears down her face, and her eyes looked like they had just been punched. I grabbed a washcloth and soaked it with warm water. I sat

back down and began to wipe her face clean. "I like you too, Dale." She gave me a weak smile. Her eyes were completely bloodshot and underlined by dark moons, her nose was bright red and runny, and she was pale as a ghost. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever met. I hugged her to me.

I finally got some water into her. I had her wrapped up in a blanket against me on the couch as another bout of shivering ran through her whole body. As I held her, I wondered how she broke through my walls. I stroked her hair and couldn't understand why I wanted to help her. I never wanted to help anyone before. I knew it wasn't because she saved my life, and it wasn't because of Monica's threats. I wanted her pain to go away. It hurt me to watch her. I ran my hand down her arm and saw the history of self-abuse. Little bruised needle marks trying to heal. I didn't understand why I didn't find her appalling. I wondered if she would stay after she was better. A little fear began to fester. I shoved it aside. I knew where fear would lead. I would prefer that she left me than to shut her out again.

The night was long. I held Mia when she needed it and gave her space when she needed it. I always came back. She barely slept. Wave after wave of awfulness tore through her body. I cried when she wasn't looking. I have never seen anyone in such misery. She finally passed out around eight in the morning. I covered her and left her to sleep. I was so happy that it she was out of pain for the moment. I wasn't sure how much more she could take.

I was just pouring a cup of coffee when the doorbell rang. I opened the door to Dr. Williams. "Good morning, Doc," I said with a smile. Normally, a morning visitor would piss me off. "Got some fresh coffee on. Like a cup?"