《Dead Circus》1.11 Stained Cracked Glass

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Was I losing it? Why was I back in my room at Article C? I had just been outside, right? Now I was gripping a door handle, trembling.

"Sylas, what are you doing?"

It sounded like Ordell, but I couldn't make myself turn around. I was petrified by fear, stricken by confusion. I felt a hand on my shoulder, gripping me tight. Was this a memory?

"Sylas, this is suicide! If you go through with this, you'll--"

My body turned against my will, letting go of the door handle and shrugging the hand from my shoulder.

"I told them I'd kill them all! That I'd burn this place to the ground!"

I spoke without speaking, without choosing too like I was merely reciting rehearsed lines in a play.

"And that's why Charlotte is gone!"

Charlotte, gone?

I remembered. This was the day I escaped, the day we brought down Article C. I had this conversation with Ordell after they took Charlotte from us.

"Why aren't you angry, Ordell? Don't you care?"

"Of course, I do! But Charlotte is gone because of you! Because you're too fucking stupid to take a step back and think!"

"Fuck you!"

I was doing my best to hold back my tears, to not break down in front of him. He stared coldly, behind those emotionless orange eyes. I felt lucid. My present consciousness was separated from memory, so I had the luxury of feeling these emotions all over again.

"I know you've lost a lot, Sylas. But have you ever stopped to think it's your fault? You fly blindly with passion, not worried about anyone else until they're taken from you!" Ordell shouted.

"Shut up!" I shouted back.

I remembered this.

"Then, you whine like a bitch and wonder why life is so cruel to you."

"Shut up!" I screamed.

I hated his words.

"Maybe if you'd ever stop for a second and consider the world around you, you wouldn't continue killing everyone you claim to love!"

BAM!

Ordell fell backward onto the floor, blood gushing from both nostrils. I held my fist tight, breathing heavily through gritted teeth. He wiped the blood on his hoodie sleeve and stood up calmly.

"See, Sylas. You're the only one to blame for the graveyard you've built."

I hated him because he was right.

"That's fine, Ordell. I'd rather lose someone while fighting than lose someone while watching."

I'd tried to forget this day. Ordell was right, but I never realized it until it was too late. I was to blame, and I did blame myself every day. I didn't remember much after that; I left Ordell in the room as I stormed out to wage war against Article C, but my memories were hazy. That was the day, though, when things changed forever.

I had walked out of the room to find the facility already in flames. Caretakers were spewing bullets in every direction, not even aiming with their guns. I ran through the smoke, the heat, and the blood. The metal walkways sparked as bullets skipped off of them; I pulled my shirt over my mouth to protect my face and lungs.

I'd forgotten all of this. I didn't know where I was taking myself, forced to watch lucidly as my memories played out for me.

"Hey, where you going!?"

Three caretakers jumped onto the walkway in front of me, letting off short bursts of their guns in my direction. I activated my arma and quickly passed through the barrage of bullets, taking a knife from one as I passed. I slit their throats, one by one, before releasing my arma and letting their bodies fall limp onto the metal grates.

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How could I forget this? How many people did I kill that day? Why couldn't I remember, and why was I reliving it now? I watched as I continued moving forward, slashing up anyone who stood in my way.

I beelined it for Dr. Amedia's office, and by the time I arrived, she had already summoned a half dozen caretakers to her side. I stood patiently in the doorway; all guns were drawn on me.

"What are you planning to do, Sylas?" The doctor asked me. She was terrified; I could hear it in her shaken voice.

"I came to talk to you about Charlotte."

"You're covered in blood! You've slaughtered dozens! You call that talking?" She yelled at me.

"I didn't want to talk to them."

I took a step inside, and gunfire was let loose. From my perspective, I gingerly waltzed between bullets, lightly carving out chunks from each caretaker's neck with my knife as I passed. From the doctor's perspective, I must've gone from the door to her face instantly, before a single bullet hit the wall or body hit the floor.

I grabbed her by the neck, squeezing fear into her wide-eyed stare.

"Sylas, what are you planning to do?" She choked.

"Tell me what happened to Charlotte."

"I don't--"

"Tell me!" I screamed, pressing the bloodied knife beneath her jawline.

"I don't know who Charlotte is! You need to stop, Sy!"

Wait.

Who was that?

I slipped from the memory I'd been trapped in, opening my eyes to see the blue sky above me. I felt grass against my skin. Calico was above me; hands firmly pressed down into my shoulders.

"Calico, what are you doing?"

"What am I doing? That's what I've been asking you, dumbass!" She pressed her shoulder into my face, laying almost flat across me. "You need to get it together, Sylas!"

I looked around, piecing together my surroundings. I was no longer outside the gate; I was in a courtyard paved with cobblestone and framed with fields of soft green grass.

"Calico, what is going on?" I whispered.

She raised off me slightly and glared into my soul.

"I have no clue. I was hoping you would tell me that!" She was quiet but fuming.

Her face was dotted with blood along her cheeks and forehead, her hands and clothes too.

She noticed my wandering eyes, "it's not my blood or yours."

I was relieved but still worried about what had happened. Had I gone into some trance? I looked around again and saw the entrance to an extravagant government building. Then, I recognized it, Article C. I was inside the gates, on the front lawn of hell itself.

WHIRRRRRRRRRR.

The sound from a drone surrounded us; it was close, flying overhead somewhere.

"Calico, how did we get in here? This place is Article C! How did we get through the gate?"

Calico poked her head above the tall grass for a moment before pressing down again next to my ear.

"We? You got in! Eclaire and I saw you killing guards left and right from the rooftop!" She snarled into my ear.

What? Me? Was all this blood from the guards of this place? I didn't notice till then that I was stained with it. Calico hadn't got any blood on her at all; it was excess from my body.

"We heard gunshots," she continued, "then we saw you in the courtyard, slicing through the guards with a small knife."

Calico let her weight off of me and rolled on to her back.

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"We came down to help, but it was like you didn't know who we were. You kept screaming about a fire and someone named Charlotte."

It was some sort of trance. Were those real memories? Or was I misremembering what happened that day? Regardless, I didn't have time to hash it out at the moment. But, how could I forget so much bloodshed, so much hatred, and anger?

"Shit. Calico, I'm sorry for--"

"You can apologize later. Right now, I need you to gather yourself so we can meet up with the others."

"The others? Where are they?"

"Eclaire and Watts are inside, Raust is handling what's left of the guards outside, but we'll need to help him with that drone."

Right, the drone I'd heard earlier would be a problem. It could wipe us out in an instant if we weren't careful.

"Okay, Calico. I'm ready to move."

She nodded in affirmation, and we leaped out of the grass. The courtyard was dilapidated, worn by time and violence. There were bodies strewn everywhere, from the front gate to the steps up to the facility. The drone was hovering above the large staircase, idling with its machine gun ready, just waiting for something to challenge it. There was no sign of any mortal life remaining. I guess Raust had finished 'cleaning up.'

Raust, status report. Calico thought. She noticed my reaction.

"Can you hear us now? Eclaire didn't think your connection was working earlier," she asked.

"Yeah, it's coming through now."

Raust reporting. The guards have been taken care of. All that's left is the drone.

A sharp scream interrupted Raust's thought. "AHHH!"

BANG.

Sorry, I missed one.

One thing, in particular, was strange about this whole situation. Why was the drone being passive? Clearly, hostile Cambions had infiltrated Article C. So why wasn't it targetting us?

"Earth to Sylas! Did we lose you again? Let's go!"

Calico grabbed me by the arm and escorted me across the courtyard to the gate. Raust was waiting, a hunting rifle in his arms with smoke still escaping from the barrel.

"Giving you an F-rank for this, Sylas. I did not want to be woken from my recharge so soon," Raust said, disgruntled.

"Sorry, buddy. I wish I could explain what happened back there."

"Whatever. I'm playing now, so let's move on with the quest."

Our issue now was the drone, guarding the gates to hell like Cerberus. However, it seemed like it would let us pass with no problem, but trusting that was likely to get us riddled with lead. Additionally, we didn't know what was waiting for us inside. Things had changed since I was locked up here, and the last time I saw this place, it'd been burned to the ground.

Raust activated his arma, bringing to life a ghostly crosshair in front of his face.

"Looks like the main engine is in the back, underneath an armored panel. We take that out, and the CPU has no juice to work off of."

That made sense. In addition to Raust's love for video games, he was also quite an adept tinkerer. He could usually be found working on small robotics or guns if he wasn't nose-first in a handheld or at the firing range.

"How do we get the armored plate off it?" I asked.

Raust looked at me and nodded his head toward the drone.

"Oh, that's right."

Calico was already gone, sprinting through the courtyard, ears and tail flared. For the first time, the drone reacted. The sensor on top lit up red, and the machine gun began to spin before unleashing a hailstorm of bullets. Raust and I took cover behind some stone fencing, barely peeking over to watch Calico in action. Her movements were unreal; she effortlessly weaved right and left, always seconds ahead of where the next volley of bullets would land.

The entry stairs were framed by large pillars and arches made from concrete. The drone hovered 10 meters in the air, firing down from in front of the second story. Calico's firm strides left cracks in the ground, and she was on the stairs in a flash. She leaped up the pillars, digging her fingers and feet into the concrete as she climbed. Calico jumped on to the drone's back where Raust had pointed out the engine.

She ripped the metal panel off in one swift movement and plunged it back down into the motor. The drone caught flame, and Calico returned to the ground. The engine whimpered, and the propeller motors whined as the drone spiraled back down to earth. It crashed hard in the grass, digging out a rut in the dirt. Sparks and small flames burst and ebbed as the metallic beast died, and the red light went dark.

Calico stood in front of the stairway, patting the dust and soot from the machine off of her clothing. She released her arma and adjusted the bun in her hair, taking out some bobby pins and reinserting them. Raust slung the rifle over his shoulder and began walking up the path.

"Is-Is that it?" I stuttered.

Raust stopped to look back at me, "the boss is dead, isn't it?" he replied sarcastically.

I pinched between my eyes, then followed behind him. We'd made a mess of this forgotten place, leaving bodies and destruction in our wake. However, the bodies gave us the answers we were seeking. We were right; something was going on inside Article C.

Calico waited patiently for us, sitting on the steps and fidgeting with a small piece of scrap from the drone.

"That was an impressive performance, Calico!" I exclaimed.

She looked up at me and gave a boastful smile, "no biggie. Once you know where to hit em, they aren't so tough."

Both of them were so nonchalant, doing these things like it was just another day to them. Meanwhile, I struggled to hold my composure, thinking about the blood I was drenched in. I'd done a quick count of the bodies I could see. There were at least 15. I'd killed over a dozen men who woke up expecting to go home today. This was supposed to be a scouting mission, and I'd turned it into an all-out assault.

Was I actually up for this? Was I ready to face this place that still haunted my thoughts? As I tried to prepare myself for what was coming, the three of us ascended to the large double doors. Things were quiet, with only the vague crackling of the flaming drone providing ambiance. I felt like I was walking on fragile glass, trying to keep my weight from pushing through. I was shaking, and I put my hands in my coat pocket to try and keep them from trembling.

"Sy? You okay?" Calico asked.

Damn. I guess I was wearing my nerves.

"I'm fine. Just didn't think I'd ever come back here, is all."

I didn't sound convincing. Not even to myself.

"Well, alright," she responded, "let's go then. Raust is already inside."

Before entering behind Calico, I took another look at the courtyard. Something still felt off about the whole situation, with me going awol and attacking the guards, the apprehensive drone, and the lucid memory. I still wasn't sure if it was even mine; I had no recollection of something so intense.

"Wait, Calico!"

"What is it?" She responded.

"There's still someone in the courtyard!"

She came up from behind me and placed her hands against my back.

"Sylas, what are you talking about? Are you sure you're not still having an episode?"

Did I see something that wasn't there? Because as I looked back on the courtyard, I could've sworn I saw the prisoner I watched die staring back at me from the gate.

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