The next day, I had a study session with Flint.

“You look awful,” he said.

“Thanks.” I plopped myself on the couch next to him. “You’re a real self-esteem booster.”

He raised one eyebrow and waited for me to share.

“It was a rough weekend. This guy tried to assault Ruby while she was drugged. Then John offered to help but I wouldn’t let him because he was with Sandy,” I said.

Flint picked up my study book and fiddled with the pages. “I guess we should get started, huh? We’re burning daylight.”

At the end of our study session, I offered to buy him a brownie. Whipped cream on the side. He refused and said he had to turn in for the night. I gave him a hug and he ruffled my hair. I wished to freeze time, to stay there. It didn’t work and I trudged back to my room so he could sleep. When I opened my door, I found Ruby and John conversing, she from the top of her bunk bed, he from the floor.

She looked up when I walked in. “You carried me back here by yourself!”

“I’d do it again if I had to,” I said speaking to both of them. “I have to finish a problem set.”

John got up to leave. “Andi, can I speak with you outside?”

Ruby laughed, not knowing the situation. “Andi’s in trouble.”

I followed him outside to the hallway. I leaned against wall and John followed, putting his hand on the wall near my head and shoulder, as if he needed to support himself. It was such a fratty move that I almost just barged through his arm and went back to my homework. But Flint was walking down the hallway from the bathroom at that moment and I felt like doing that would have been even worse than just leaving his arm there. He walked by without a word.

John noticed how uncomfortable I was and tried to break the tension. “Hey, man,” John said and waited for him to leave. It didn’t work very well. “Look, I’m sorry I upset you the other day. Sandy’s a good friend. I don’t want you to think that I jumped from you to her. We were just having fun. She was trying to cheer me up.”

I pushed his arm off the wall and set him off balance. “You know what she’s trying to do in EMS. She hates me. She wasn’t trying to make you feel better. She was trying to make herself feel like she’s winning.”

He shook his head. “You don’t know her like I do. You and I, we need to be able to work together, for EMS. It’s going to be a really long couple of years if you don’t let me help every once in awhile.”

“Sandy and I don’t get along and EMS is just fine.”

He stopped talking and tried to understand what I was saying. I truly believe that he tried. But he was too used to believing what people said, taking everything at face value. His world was happier and more trusting than mine. He could even say that he understood, but on a deeper level, he couldn’t. Everyone was nice to him because he was charismatic and could keep anyone amused for hours. No one ever had a reason to show him the other side of themselves. He didn’t want to see it. Even after hearing the stories of Carl and Lily, he still refused to see anything wrong with him. “You don’t know him like I do,” was always his excuse. Because if you knew the why, it excused the action. I wished I could have believed him.