Chapter 130

Wooden Teeth

Thrush devoured most of the smoked fish. Drank a ton of beer. Gorged on his dreambons. Said he wanted to “relax after his journey”.

Hawkin had made me some onion soup with extra onions and garlic, and he’d poured me a silver boot full of goblin spit beer.

Dinner was fantastic. I took a huge bite of my onion. Spoke while I chewed.

“You know,” I said. “I’d like to make my own beer. See if it’s any good.”

“Let me guess,” Hawkin said. “You’d like to add onions to it.”

“We could start with onions,” I said. “Maybe add some garlic too. Just to be safe.”

“Ah yes,” Hawkin said with a smile. “Just to be safe.”

“I’d try it,” Thrush said.

Hawkin and I talked about it over dinner. His main problem was the lack of available onions. But he knew a way around that.

He said, “if you’re willing to put in some work, I’ll help you plant some onions and garlic on the ethereal plane. We’ll section out a little garden space for you. You can do whatever you want with what you grow.”

I was in love with the idea. Wanted to start right away, but Thrush had something he wanted to share with me.

“A surprise,” he said. “I kept my eyes peeled while on the road. Bought this from another merchant.”

“For me?” I said.

Thrush held out his bear paw palm. It was empty for a moment before a turquoise stone blinked into existence.

“A rock,” I said. “A rock! It’s so pretty, Thrush! I can add it to my hoard! I’m gonna have to find a place to put my hoard on my boat so I can always keep it close at hand. Gonna have to start thinking of hiring goblins soon. A small crew to begin with. Maybe more when my boat gets bigger. Becomes a ship. Then we can really sail the sea and protect the port!”

“Not just any stone,” Thrush said. “A Fable Stone.”

I heard something clatter to the ground. My jaw, I assumed.

“Go on,” Thrush said. “Use it.”

“I’ll clean up this beer,” Hawkin said.

I was in awe. Nothing existed but the stone. The ultimate promotion. I would have traded my black boots just to see one in person. I couldn’t even see the one in front of me because the world had gone blurry. Wet. I sniffled as I grasped for the stone. Thrush guided my hand and gently placed the stone in my palm.

A figure came around the table and gave me a gentle hug.

“Go on,” Thrush said.

“How do I use it?” I managed to choke out.

I wiped the tears from my eyes. Opened them to find that I was no longer in Hawkin’s cabin beside my friends. I was in the sky. High, where the stars twinkled. Cosmic clouds billowed, twirled, and came together to form three plumes. Each plume coalesced into a goblinoid form. The forms strengthened in picture until they seemed like real goblins. Giant goblins I could touch if I wanted.

The first one was missing eyelids. Its eyes were the color of a mean sea.

“BarnacleEyes. I am Lids. Prophet.”

“Lids,” I squealed. “Goblin god, Lids!”

Lids smiled so big. “You are here to choose a quest path and assign a god to that quest path. Become a prophet. That path is made for you. See the future like the rivers of the world. Hold the future in your hand like a globe. Turn it from horizon to horizon and estimate its coming changes that happen on the dark side of the globe.”

The next goblin nodded, unfurled their crossed arms. She smiled at me too.

“I am Spleen. Reigning goddess of the deepest dive. Have you ever touched the bottom of the deep sea, young BarnacleEyes? That’s something a prophet won’t let you do. Assign me as the god to the Diver quest path. Explore the wonders of the deep. Recover hoards and sunken treasure. Face ancient creatures. Survive and become a goblin with reputation and lore!”

I gasped. “That sounds so good,” I said. “I want that! I want that!”

The third goblin god smiled. He had wooden teeth and was missing half a lower lip. There was only one goblin god by that description. PegTooth.

“That’s right. I am PegTooth, God of freebooter goblins. I’ve been watching you, little BarnacleEyes. You’re a brave little snot.”

Something happened in my soul, just then. For years, I’d been carrying a brittle, rusted heart. A heart that suffered like rattling, shattered glass these last few months. A heart that was infected with pain.

What followed was life changing. I felt each shard of my heart lift from bloody wounds and come together to resemble what my heart should have looked like. I felt whole. Validated. I felt like newly sharpened steel. Reborn in those few seconds when PegTooth paused.

“Choose me,” Pegtooth said. “Assign me to the Admiral quest path. A quest path beyond what captains could ever hope to achieve.”

I tried to speak. Gesticulated wildly. The words wouldn't come. My voice was stuck. The only thing I could do was nod. Vigorously.

“We need a clear answer from you,” Lids said.

“Yes,” I managed at last. “I choose the Admiral quest path. I choose PegTooth!”

“So be it,” the gods said in tandem.

The cosmos receded into the distance, and the atmosphere of the world swallowed me whole. I blinked and found myself beside my friends in Hawkin’s cabin once more.

A screen came up in my mind’s eye. A strange rectangular thing.

[New Quest Path Acquired: Quest Path: Admiral!]

[PegTooth assigned as god to quest path: Admiral.]

[Rewards, quest path, and loot will now be influenced by PegTooth.]

[Pegtooth’s reward: Level 1 Admiral skill book, Level 1 Sail Setting skill book, Level 1 Boat Builder skill book.]

[Skill books acquired.]

[New Quest Objective: Build a sloop.]

[Reward: Common canvas headsail and mainsail.]

I was in shock while I navigated my system screens. I discovered my inventory. My skill books were in the first few slots. I touched one and the Level 1 Admiral skill book popped into existence in front of me and fell to the floor. Hawkin retrieved it for me.

“So, tell us all about your experience,” he said.

I told him and Thrush what happened in great detail, stopping only to suck in a breath every now and then. In my excitement, I was shouting at them. The whole time.

“Congratulations,” Hawkin and Thrush said at last when I’d run out of steam and my voice was near hoarse.

“Admiral,” Hawkin said. “You did it. You’re officially an Admiral of your very own boat. Don’t forget, Thrush and I would be very happy to help you build your sloop. We might not know exactly how to do that, but your skill books should help. We’ll follow your orders, admiral.”

“I can’t wait to read them,” I wailed. “I’m going to do that right now!”

I leapt down from the barrel I’d been using as a seat. Then bolted across the cabin.

“Wait,” Hawkin called out. “Drink a lot of water if you’re going to absorb skill books. Otherwise you’re going to have skull crushing headaches. Trust me, BarnacleEyes.”

Hand on the door jamb, I turned to Hawkin.

“I trust you,” I said. “I’ll drink lots of water.”

Then I sprinted for my shed where I could absorb my skill books in private.