Police Detective Alfonso Grayson took it upon himself to walk Anaya and me home. No one said a word while we were on the street. I can’t speak for Anaya and the detective, but I for one had nothing to say. A man died and I was too late to help him. On top of feeling like I was a day late and a dollar short there was the image of him laying in the pool of blood that kept popping up.

I sway his blue shirt stained from the fluid he lost due to his wound. His skin which I knew from having shopped there was normally a golden brown had become an ashen gray. Then there was his eyes. Hollow and glassy. No actor I had seen in a movie was capable of making them selves look as dead as him.

I was sure that if the detective and Anya were not there I would have stopped and broken down. Even if it was just me and Anaya I might have. But the detective was an unknown quantity. If high school had taught me anything it was to never show weakness in front of strangers. So kept in.

Before I knew it we were stopping and Anaya said something to the Detective. I left the horror playing out in my head long enough to realize that we were home. Our outside the building we lived in. The detective and I followed Anaya up the ramp to the front door. He held it open as we walked in then waited for it to close behind him.

I pressed the call button for the elevator and the detective spoke. “What you was a horrible thing for anyone to see. I want you to know that none of what happened was your fault.” I turned and looked at him. Amazed that he seemed to have gotten in my head. “Don’t look at me like that. A lot of people in similar positions walk away feeling guilty for not having done more. It is called survivor’s guilt. And ten times out of ten the people experiencing it do so wrongfully.”

The elevator dinged and we enter. Anaya was looking up at me with an expression I couldn't read. As she did her left hand found my right and she gave it a little squeeze. She didn’t let go after her show of solidarity. I could have kissed her for it.

“What floor?” The detective asked.

“Third,” Anaya said.

The detective continued as the elevator began its slow ascent. “If you feel overwhelmed by all of this I want you to know that is normal. Also, that you are not alone. Please call me and I can get you some help in dealing with the emotions.”

I opened my mouth to protest and voice my desire to not see a shrink, but he cut me off. “I know, I know. No one wants to see a head doc. I used to feel the same way until I had a need for one. He helped me get my life back in order and keep my job. He also taught me that we can’t be afraid to ask for help. Which is what I am saying to you. If you need help,” He placed his hand on my shoulder. “Reuben, don’t be afraid to call me. I will do all I can to help you.”

“Why?” It was all I could think to ask.

To that, he smiled. “Because you showed some serious bravery back there. While I don’t recommend you enter into a situation like that again I can say doings so has made you a hero in my book. True heroes never walk away unharmed. But most are too proud to ask for help. Don’t be.”

The elevator dinged. The doors slid open to reveal a man standing in the hallway. I didn’t recognize him and if I had seen him before I would have remembered. He had the outline of a heart in red tattooed on his cheek just below his left eye. It was the last thing I expected to see a guy have tatted on his face. He stepped a side and waited for us to get off the elevator.

Anaya lead us to her door. I looked back as the doors were closing to see him smirking at us. As far as I knew there were only three tenants of the four apartments on our floor. Mine, Anaya’s, and the old Army vet, Mr. Johnson. Could he have been here for Mr. Johnson? That didn’t seem likely since no one ever came to see Mr. Johnson.

As we reached Anaya’s door the Detective spoke again. “This is your place, Ms. Anaya?”

“Yes, sir. My mother should be home if you want to speak with her?”

“That is exactly what I would like to do.” He turned to me. “Where about's do you live?”

“I live just across the hall.” I pointed to my door.

As I looked back I saw something that caused me to pause. Anya had her keys in her right hand and as she moved the one for the deadbolt closer tot eh lock her hand trembled. While she couldn’t stand up for more than a second on most days she was the first person to pull up her sleeves and show off her slender and toned biceps. To see her hand shaking and … I paused the thought as I watched. Her whole arm began to shake making it impossible to line up the key. After a moment she let out a sigh and grabbed her right hand with her left. She then guided the key into the hole and used both hands to turn it.

“Doing okay over there?” I asked her?

“Huh?” She looked over and up at me. “Yeah, silly. Just a bit shook up by the day's events. Go home and give Grandma Burger a kiss for me.”

“Will do,” I replied. My eyes wander down to her lap where her left hand massaged her right. I didn’t say anything because I could tell by her tone there was nothing else she was going to say.

“I will be by after I talk with Ms. Crispen’s mother. Make sure your Grandmother is expecting me. And you might want to wait for me to tell her what happened. It will be easier for an objective party to tell her without freaking her out.”

“Okay,” I said. I turned and put my key in the lock.

The detective grabbed my arm and gave it a gentle tug. I faced him. “She is going to freak out after she is told. Try to get her some tea or something to ease her into it before I get there. It is best to do as much damage control as we can.” He threw me a wink then went into the Crispen residence.

I knew my grandmother so I knew he was right. Grandman Burger was going to overreact in a big way. I would be lucky if I saw the outside world again in this century. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves, which it didn’t, and went in.

“Oh, Reuben!” Grandma rushed to me from the kitchen. “What are you doing here? Did you hear about that mess down the street? Please tell me you weren’t a part of that nonsense?” She took my face in her hands and looked me over. “What is it, baby? You are shaking like a leaf.”

“Can you go into the living room? A Police Detective will be by in a few minutes. I’m going to get us some hot cocoa, okay?” I think the only reason she went for it was because my voice shook as I spoke.

She nodded her head slowly. “Okay. But maybe I should get the cocoa while you sit down?”

“No, I think I would like to do it. I want, no, need to move around for a minute.”

“Okay, I’ll be right here if you need me.” She took her time going into the living room. Every other step she would look back at me and look like she was expecting something. I smiled at her every time, but by her expression, I don’t think it eased her at all.

The Detective knocked on the door just as I was setting the mugs of steaming cocoa down on the coffee table. I let him in and he nodded in way of a greeting. I lead him to the couch and sat down next to him.”Hot cocoa?” I offered.

“That would be great.” He picked up one of the plain white mugs and blew on its contents before taking a tentative sip. “That’s good.”

“What is this about?” Grandma Burger asked. “I'm guessing the legend of the greatest cup of hot chocolate is not what brought you.”

He chuckled. “I wish I could say it was. I’m here about the incident that happened at the Quicky Mart down the street and your grandson’s involvement.” Grandma Burger took a sharp inhale and eyed me quizzically. “It was not something he is guilty of, in fact, he is as much a victim in this as anyone. Let me explain.” Grandma listened quietly as the detective spoke. She looked at me with concern when he mentioned me finding the body. When he was done Grandma clucked her tongue but didn’t seem to know what to say.

“Your Reuben here is a hero. I just wish he didn't have to see what he did. If you need anything from me I left my card with Reuben. I also instructed him to call if he was having problems dealing with what he saw. You folks have a nice evening.”

“You do the same, Detective Grayson,” Grandma Burger said. “Reuben, see the man out please.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I walked the detective to the door. After opening it he stepped out and turned to me.

“I was serious about calling if you need help. Don’t hesitate. And call if you have questions. There is no such thing as a stupid question. Got it?”

I nodded. “I will, Detective Grayson.”

“Good. Have a good night and try to get some rest.” Then he left.

I closed the door and went back to the living room. I wasn't done telling Grandma bad news. “Can I get you a refill?”

“No, baby, just sit down and tell me what is eating at you.” I never could get anything past her.

“Okay,” I sat down on the couch. “I got into a little trouble in school today.” I proceeded to tell her about my encounter with Jeremy and the event that lead up to it. I knew she wasn’t going to be happy about any of it, but we have always had a relationship of trust and sharing.

“I can’t say that I am happy about you having had a half naked girl in my house, but you did handle it well.”

“She never got past showing a little cleavage,” I corrected.

“Not helping your case any,” She replied. “As I was saying, I’m not happy, but I don’t blame you. I remember what it was like to be young and have hormones coursing through you, making you do stupid things. I forgive you and we will move on like nothing happened, as long as it is not going to happen again. Am I clear? I didn’t raise you to be that disrespectful of women.”

“It won’t happen again,” I said.

“Good, now go get some rest. We will figure out what to do with you tomorrow.”

I got up off the couch and made it to the hallway before Grandma Called out to me.“I love you, Reuben,” she said.

“I love you too, Grandma.”

I took a long shower in an attempt to get clean. After I toweled off and got dressed I still felt unclean. It was weird, my skin felt fine, but I felt like I need a lot longer under the hot water. Then I climbed into bed. It was a little later than usual, but I didn’t have to go to school the next day so I was sure Grandma would let me sleep in.

I stared up at the ceiling for a long time. The memory of finding the clerk haunted me. Every time I closed my eyes he was there. Eventually, I slipped into sleep without noticing. In my sleep, I replayed the scene over and over. The first couple time it was the store owner I saw, but then he changed. It went from being a he to being an indistinct female. The next time around she became clear and it was Anaya.

I shot up in bed knocking the blanket off of me. The cold air chilled my sweat soaked pajamas. My breath came and went in ragged gasps. I didn’t see my room just Anaya’s cold dead eyes. I laid down on my side and curled up into a ball. I cried for a long time thinking of my best friend dead in my dream.

I must have fallen asleep at some point because Grandma shook me and called my name to wake me. “Reuben, baby, are you okay? Wake up, honey.”

:”I’m okay,” I croaked. “I’m up. Am I late?”

“Late for what?”

“School.”

Grandma Burger laughed. “No, there is no school today. It’s just late so I thought I would check on you. Anaya was by earlier and she seemed a little down. I told her I would send you over after you woke up.”

“Okay, I’ll get up and go see her.”

“Before you leave be sure to stop by the living room for a minute, okay?”

“I will Grandma.”

Half an hour later I was cleaned and dressed. Due to the sweating I did the night before I had to take another shower. A much quicker shower this time. Grandma Burger was on the couch watcher her shows. Which happened to be Blocks of Fortune the game show. She called all of her shows her stories, not just the daytime soap operas.

“You wanted to see me?”

She scowled for a moment before looking up at me. “I know you are trying to be a tough older boy, but you need to play it safe.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I’m talkin about going into that store. That might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but it wasn’t.” Grandma leaned forward and placed a hand on my shoulder giving it a little squeeze. “I can understand your desire to be a hero, and I know how much you love those stories, but you need to think about others too. Do you know what happens to heros?”

I thought I knew where this was going but I didn’t want to look stupid in case i was wrong so I shook my head.

“Heroes die. They do something stupid with the intention of helping others and get themselves killed. Sometime they save the people they tried to help, and sometimes not.”

I was way off base with where i thought she was going. I didn’t expect Grandma Burger to go so dark. It wasn’t like her to look at anything other than the positive in life.

“The other thing they all have in common is the consequences of their selfish actions. Those consequences are Anay, her mother, and me. If you die we have to spend the rest of our lives grieving the grandson, friend, and adopted son we lost. Do you understand me?”

I nodded not trusting myself to speak without breaking down.

“We love you very much, Reuben and we don’t want to see anything happen to you. So when you feel like you have to be a hero then walk away and find a phone. Let the police do their jobs, and be the person that helped them. That is a heroic act as well.”

We sat in silence for a while after that. Grandma sat back in her chair picked up her book. I couldn’t image how much my world would change if I lost Grandma or how me being gone would affect her.

Grandma was the one to break the silence. “There is a twenty on the counter if you want to go to the store and get us something sweet.”

“That sounds like a plan,” i replied. As I passed her chair Grandma Burger patted my arm. Sometimes she knew how to say the right things without talking.

With my favorite corner store destroyed by a super powered guy I was forced to walk the extra block to my backup spot. They had a small deli like the other place, but it wasn’t as good. Considering Grandma wanted something sweet that was a non issue. Grandma and sweet meant one thing, ice cream.

I grabbed a pint of Rocky Road for me, and Mint Chocolate Chip for Grandma. I passed the twenty to the short guy behind the counter and waited in awkward silence ads he counted out my change.

I will be the first to admit to not having an abundance of willpower. So I used a plastic spoon from the condiments section and took nibbles from my pint as I walked. Considering the volatile nature of ice cream I was forced to walk at a brisk pace. So between gasps for breath I would pop a spoonful in my mouth. Breathing around ice cream was not fun, but the flavor made up for it.

I turned the corner and my building came into view. The bag containing Grandma’s Mint Chocolate Chip and my open pint of Rocky Road fell from my hands. Thick black smoke billowed out of the windows of a third story apartment. My apartment was on the third floor.

“Grandma,” I whispered.

I ran for all I was worth. A minute later I was entering the front door of the building. A few more minutes and I was bent over on the landing to the second floor catching my breath. I didn’t stop for long because Grandma needed me.

I made it to my floor and my heart beat so hard I thought it was going to launch out of me and take up a low orbit around Mars. Each breath was a ragged gasp that burned going down. But that didn’t matter. I opened the door and stepped into the hall.

“Help me!” The voice of a man came to me from the closed door of the first apartment.

“Crap,” I said.