《Killing Zombies Is Like A Game?!》Chapter 1: Time well spent! I think?
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I could feel the beads of sweat running down my temples. There’s no way I could possibly die here?! Surrounded by these things that chase me like some thief who just robbed their food stand.
I made a sharp turn upwards, collecting the small yellow pellets as I ran for my life from the rainbow colored ghosts. Scaling the edge of the board, I found an open hole that I walked through and appeared on the other side of the field. ‘Ha! Try and catch me now bitches!’
Collecting as many pellets into my mouth as I sped my way across the field. Juking the hell out of my pursuers. When I reached a tight corner, I could see one coming from behind me and another in front of me. Fuck!
I really wanted to save this but… It leaves me no choice. I ran to a giant glowing orb. It radiated like the sun, calling my name ‘Jack. Jack. Come to mama.’
And so I will!
I ran through that yellow orb with the intensity of a lion hunting for prey. I felt the bloodrush up into my yellow veins. Now all I see is the sealed fate of the ghosts!
Turning abruptly to chase the one behind me, the shitter turned as blue as the ocean. Ha! Must be scared out of its mind.
When I was right on his heels, I opened my mouth wide and….
Chomp!
I ate the poor son of bish whole.
But I wasn’t done yet. To the one by the corner, I wish you well… now into my mouth!
After swallowing about four of the blue ghosts, I ran to the middle to collect the final yellow pellet, picking up a double cherry along the way.
Ding ! Ding! Ding! Game Over!
I panted and licked the sweat off the sides of my lips. Running my precious hands that brought me victory like always, through my glorious hair. I removed my hand from the joystick and stood tall with pride. Feeling like I just climbed Mount everest.
I did it. That’s right. I fucking did it.
I reached into my pocket to pull out my touch phone. Navigating to the contacts, I quickly scroll down to the letter ‘K’ and click on the only name there. After three rings, the other side picked up.
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“I finally did it! No need to praise me, but it didn’t take me longer than three whole days.” I exclaimed.
I said no praise needed but quite a feat is surely deserving of some.
The other side of the phone was as silent as a mouse. Is she alive? Did she lash out from anger after hearing that I just got a new personal record on Pac-man?
“Jack…. It’s four in the morning… go to fucking bed.” she said, hanging up without missing a beat.
I stood there dumbfounded. My eyebrows twitching on my prideful face.
She’s just jealous. Yeah, that’s it. She’s one hundred percent jealous. Ha! And she didn’t believe me when I said I could pass my old record. Who’s the moron now, Kayla?
I felt the phone vibrate in my hand. Bringing it up to my squinted eyes in the dark, I tried to read the message sent from Kayla.
“You’re such an idiot.”
“...”
Girls. Ha, they will never understand.
I threw the phone onto the desk beside the arcade machine and jumped onto the mattress on the floor.
Now why don’t I have a bed frame you ask? Well because they are unnecessary. Why have a bed frame when all you need is the mattress? See, unlike the average person, I’ll focus on the more important things like a new gaming chair or an RGB keyboard that shows me the rainbow colors in the dark. The important things you know.
I slipped my legs under the covers and closed my eyes. Take me away to blissful sleep.
Now, I’m not one who dreams regularly from sleeping. But when I do, they get so freaky that I wake myself up before I get too scared and piss my pants. Like this one time. I slept at around my usual time, six in the morning. I dreamt of this… thing. It had sharp claws with floating hair as it hovered outside my window.
When the claws phased through the glass like a ghost, I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up. I’m pretty sure I really did piss myself that time. I swear when the claw touched and pierced my cheek, the pain felt so real that I was so traumatized the next morning. Since then, I either sleep early in the night or when the sun is coming up so those demons can go fuck themselves.
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However, this night was dreamless. Perfect serenity. It felt like I closed my eyes just minutes ago before I heard a knock coming from the door of the apartment.
I groaned as I swung my arm over to the side of the mattress where my glasses were. I know, I know, not the best place to put prescription glasses but trust me! I would never break these with my life… I just get lazy and can’t be bothered to find where I placed that bloody black case.
The knock came in three bursts before pausing and doing it again. Which could only mean one thing. The only person whom I taught the secret knocking passcode to.
“Jack! Open the door!” Kayla yelled from the other side.
She was so loud I could hear her from the bedroom. Isn’t that scary? What if I really upset her and she starts to yell for real? Wouldn’t the whole world shake.
I hung my arms low and glanced back to the soft mattress I just left. Debating whether I should answer the door to the nerdy robot loving neighbor of mine or if I should just let the claws take me into a deep slumber.
“Jack! If you go back to sleep, I’m turning your arcade gaming machine into my personal servant.”
I blinked calmly. Shutting my eyes and taking a deep breath.
“Let’s be a good person today.” I consoled myself, patting my back.
Picking up a pair of pants from the floor, I tugged it on one leg at a time and fumbled over out to the living room. The room wasn’t big by any means, but it could fit my favorite couch. A t.v on the wall, a dining table beside it and a mini open kitchen area for at ease cooking. The place was very comforting to live in… especially when I don’t have to leave my house and just grind League of Legends.
When I got to the door, I rested my hand on the door handle and hung my head once more to contemplate my decision and life choices.
The knocks came in bursts a few more times.
Should I really open this door? That kid will start bugging me again and then I’ll have to play my placements when the children of this world get out of school and feel like playing ranked.
“Ok, that’s it. I’m getting the wrench.” her muffled voice came from the otherside with the threat of a serial killer.
I pushed the handle down and forced a smile onto my face for the short girl in front of me. She wore a white tank top with a black sports bra clearly visible underneath. Not that she needed one with the cutting board she calls a chest.
And with her shirt slightly tucked into some jean shorts paired with some, if I have to admit, cute looking slippers.
In anyone else’s eyes this girl would probably be considered pretty. Someone adorable that you would love to have as a girlfriend… But no, don’t let looks deceive you. This nerdy tech woman is demon incarnate.
I cleared my throat and envisioned speaking with the calmest of voices.
“What do you want oh dear neighbor of mine?” I said with a large smile forced upon my face like I was being tortured.
“You promised to take me to the hardware store today.” she said without even trying to sound nice.
“Hey, if you are asking for me to give you a ride, shouldn’t you be more polite?”
The girl brought a hand to her chin while resting her elbow on her other arm hugging her waist. I can tell the little nerd was calculating the responses like if this was a dating visual novel.
She then looked me straight in the eye and began to part her small glossed lips.
“No, not at all.” she said with a serious tone and look, furrowing her brows. “Now come. We have to go before the lines get long.” she said rather cheerfully with a demanding undertone.
Without even waiting for my response, she turned to the side and skipped down the hallway.
I looked up to the sky and brought my hands together.
What God did I offend to deserve this?
Girls, I swear. It’s the short and flat ones that are the fiercest ones.
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