《No Matter What, I Will Get Back Home!》(27) A Failure as a Mother
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When Feliza was first born, the only thing I could think about was how beautiful of a child she was. My thoughts were swirled in joy and excitement as me and my husband had welcomed in another person to our family, and I could only have dreams of their future.
We named her Feliza, after one of my close relatives, and got excited for the day that she would say her first word. Between the two of us, we both imagined that she would probably be saying 'Papa' or 'Mama'. After all, we both took care of her for a while, and we both constantly made sure that we had time to go and have fun with her as a baby.
Never had any one of us suspected that her first word would be 'Alise', but that was fine. After all, she was nursing Feliza when the two of us weren't available to do so, and she was highly capable at the task.
Never would I have thought that my name would be the last one to be uttered. Nothing like 'Mama', 'Mommy', or anything that would signify that she acknowledged me fully as a mother. Nothing of the sort at all.
The first word she used for me was 'Amelie', even though she had called Daron 'father'. My heart ached from that single moment, and I couldn't help but feel that I was at blame.
As time went on, Feliza became more and more unique, separated from all of her siblings in many ways. And each moment, me and my family became more and more worried with the development.
The fact that she was capable of talking like any other adult you could see on the street at the mere age of two years was enough to throw me off. Not only that, but her eyes seemed to become sharper each month, as though she was able to look directly into my soul.
She... unnerved me. She terrified me time to time, and I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eyes time to time.
But in the end, all of my worries didn't matter, and I made sure that these horrible thoughts didn't influence what I thought about Feliza. She was my daughter, and my duty as a mother was to ensure that my child received the care she deserved, and the love that she was entitled to.
However, in recent times, I have to genuinely wonder if the Sun Goddess herself was conspiring against my child, trying to make sure that her life was as difficult as possible.
Her inability to feel any pain at all, the fact that her muscles were stiffened for some strange reason... all of the problems that the doctor got from their preliminary examination made me consumed with utter terror for my child.
With the odds stacked against them, how could they live such a happy normal life? If all of their strange abilities got leaked to the village, especially the church...
She would be hounded constantly, possibly treated as a potential slave to earn massive amounts of money from. An attraction for people to come by and laugh at, and to simply be the show of the entire village.
I refused to let my daughter suffer such a fate. I would never allow her to be stopped from pursuing a life of peace and tranquility.
Therefore, I did everything in my power to maintain the lie, the facade that she was a normal child. I convened with the village elder to help me lie about her age, boosting the number from two to four. I made everyone in my family swear to never leak any information about Feliza, no matter how much they desperately wanted to.
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I talked to the doctor every chance I had to find a way to make sure that disguising Feliza would be possible. I went through great lengths to do everything I could to keep up this masquerade, to maintain a happy future for my darling daughter.
However, all falsities were a broken structure: they were simply waiting to collapse one day and bring down the roof upon the ones inside. To crush the people who were living in a house of lies, to destroy them for doing such heinous things.
... which leads me to today, where I know learned that there were a group of seven people that had learned exactly what I had been hiding for less than a month. I hadn't even been given the grace of being able to keep the act up for more than a year: it had been cut short drastically and mercilessly.
Thankfully, they were good people that understood the plight I was in, and promised to keep to secrecy of Feliza's condition. I could only thank the Sun Goddess for granting me this mercy.
I wish I could say that was the end of that problem. That the situation had been fixed, and that everything will be alright again.
That was not the case at all. Rather, Feliza was now in possession of strength that no child should be capable of, and the fact that she was malnourished, sleep deprived, and overworked made me genuinely confused and horrified.
What had happened to her? Rather, what on Atlasia was going on? Why was she in these horrible conditions? Why was she suffering so much?
I stood there with my husband, staring at the good doctor, hoping to get some answers to the questions that were swirling in my head, dancing on top of my hopes and dreams.
"The reason why I brought you two out here is simple," he said, as he leaned against the wall and sighed, "Feliza's condition is far worse than I thought it would be, and there's something she's hiding from you two."
"Why would you say that? If she isn't getting any sleep at all, and she has to work and play every day, then that would explain her current situation of being overworked, right?" I asked, confused on his words. Didn't he say earlier that having some sleep for once fix the issue?
"That's because her muscles were wasting away."
Suddenly, my thoughts halted, and I could feel myself going ice-cold. I gripped my husband's hand as tightly as I could, unable to believe my own ears.
"What... what do you mean? Why would that happen? Why are you telling us this now, rather than earlier?!" shouted Darcon loudly, "Don't keep that kind of information to yourself! We need to know this as fast as possible!"
"That's because I believe Feliza's lying about what she's doing at night," the doctor said softly, and Darcon's anger slowly subsided into despair.
"But... why? What would she gain from doing that?" I asked, completely bewildered. My daughter, hiding something from the two of us at her current age? That was completely unthinkable in any normal situation.
However, given the bizarre nature of Feliza, I could see this being realistic. After all, she was smart enough to start learning how to read and write at this young age.
What else was she capable of? What else was she hiding from us, and who knew what she was thinking in that head of hers?
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"I don't know," the doctor said with some resignation in his voice, "All I know is that Feliza lied to you both and probably doesn't realize what's fully happening to her body. With their abnormal resistance to pain and messed up nerves, she probably don't know that she is dying bit by bit."
"But what could she be doing that would be causing her body to behave like this? There's no way she can do heavy labor at any point in time!" Darcon said as his body slowly started to quiver.
"She could possibly be sneaking out at night and doing some possible exercise, possibly just lifting rocks out of boredom and throwing them," the doctor suggested, "That could explain her unnatural strength, but there's no reason for her to hide that kind of activity. Why wouldn't she tell you she does that because she can't sleep?"
"Do you have any idea on how we can find out about what she's doing?" Darcon asked, as he silently sat down on a nearby chair.
"Try to have someone watch her at night in secret," the doctor said softly as he pulled out a pipe and began to stuff the chamber with some strange herb, "Other than that, no. I don't have a suggestion."
"Could she just have a birth defect of abnormal strength and wasting muscles?" I asked the doctor. As much as I wanted to believe him, I truly needed to make sure that this wasn't just a situation where Feliza was attempting to deceive us.
"I thought about that, and that's a possibility as well," he confessed, as his assistant brought out a match and lit the pipe. Red smoke began to slowly lift up from the burning herbs as he used the smoking utensil.
"However, I felt that would be too much of a coincidence, but this idea is still on the table," he said softly, while looking off into the distance. "I'm not sure myself. This entire situation is weird."
"You can say that again," Darcon said weakly as he sat there and stared up at the sky. His eyes were filled with despair and terror, and I couldn't help but agree.
The four of us stayed there, letting the wind blow past us and allowing the forest's song to envelop us.
Then, the doctor spoke up once more.
"I had an idea, but I want both of your opinions on the subject."
"What is it doctor?" Darcon asked, with a curious expression on his face, "Did you figure out what's wrong with our child?"
"This is going to be a horrible request, and something I feel you two would be disturbed by, but it is a request nonetheless. You can choose to reject it, or accept it," he said softly, not bothering to turn around and look at the both of us.
I started to get worried. After all, with that kind of statement, who knew what he was planning?
"Please, just cut out the dramatics," I said firmly, "Tell us what you want done with our daughter."
"I want to have her as an apprentice."
The air froze instantly, almost as if the entire environment had been put into a freezing winter. I couldn't believe my ears.
What? Didn't he just talk about how she was an unnatural child? What was with this complete twist on his thought process?
"What, why? Didn't you say she was suffering from a large amount of symptoms?" I asked. What was going on? I needed answers for this change in the doctor's mentality.
"That is true," he admitted, before taking another whiff of his pipe, "However, if she is constantly visiting every day and working alongside me, then I have an easier way to constantly check up on her and ensure that she is healthy."
"Besides," he continued, "This way, we can possibly investigate what exactly she's doing, and find ways to help her out in her path. I could pay you a small lump sum every month for allowing me to apprentice her, and I could keep an eye on her health. It's a win-win for the both of us."
The more I listened to his speech, the more I agreed with him. True, if
However, with an offer as good as this, there had to be some kind of ulterior motive. Even someone as gentle and kind as the doctor had to have some kind of reason behind the proposition.
"Why are you willing to do this? What is your reason for doing all this?" Darcon asked seriously. His facial expression showed that he was in deep thought and genuinely thinking about the doctor's offer, but wanted more details before committing to the idea itself.
"I'll admit that I do have an ulterior motive behind this," he confessed, as he silently moved the pipe away from his mouth and set it by his side, "Basically, Feliza is unnatural, and there's a lot of abnormalities with her body. If I could have the chance to conduct research on her bizarre nature and figure some things to assist her completely, then I might be able to create more potions based on those effects."
"And you think we'll let you do that?" Darcon asked coldly, while staring at the doctor with darkened eyes.
"I'm asking, aren't I?" he replied, before sighing and turning to look at the two of us directly. "I'm pretty sure that you both will deny my request, but I am willing to put the conditions on the table and talk about this more. I have told you both my honest opinions and my thoughts, and now I'm extending a hand for some assistance."
The two of us turned and looked at each other in the eyes. Somehow, despite us not saying a single word, we both connected mentally and understood what we needed to do.
With an opportunity like this, and with us gaining the truth, who were we to deny this chance to help out our daughter and make sure she was better again? There was just no way we could possibly let go of this opportunity, despite the motives behind the offer.
"We agree," the both of us said simultaneously, while looking at the doctor, "Please, don't harm our daughter."
"I don't intend to. That was never the case," he said softly, before bowing to the two of us. "Thank you so much for deciding to trust me."
We both nodded, and I couldn't help but feel slightly better. After all, from here on out, things could only get better... right?
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