《No Matter What, I Will Get Back Home!》(18) The Important Question
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Breakfast was more silent than usual. Usually, my family would be discussing stuff about the harvest, about what their plans were for the weekend, or something about relationships. Stuff I usually tuned out because I couldn't care about that.
Today, there was little to zero conversations going on. I could feel heavy stares going my direction as I just mindlessly shoveled stew into my mouth.
I wish I could say I could be more energetic and pretend to be happy, but I just couldn't bother putting up that much effort today. Without much sleep and with those heavy thoughts in my mind, I couldn't really do much at all.
"Hey, Feliza? Are you okay? You don't look well at all." I turned towards Marcus, who was looking at me with a heavily concerned look on his face.
Why the hell did you care? Just eat your damn food. I wanted to say those words, but even my wounded mind knew that saying that would just entice more questioning. Might as well tell a little white lie.
"Yeah, I'm just tired. Couldn't sleep well last night." That seemed to have relieved them a bit, but not too much. Marcus still looked concerned at me, Alise looked worried for my health, and Amelie looked sad.
"Hey, guys, you sure it's fine if Feliza goes to the village center today? It may be better for her to just sleep in for today," my older sister Nellie, to my shock, stated rather firmly. I expected those words to come from Alise, but to hear her say that?
Well, that was quite a surprise.
"I want to go to the village center though," I said clearly, and the rest of the family looked at me with a strange look on their face.
"Are you sure, Feliza? You sure don't look well." Yes, I'm fucking sure Terry, I thought about this the entire goddamn night.
"Yes," I was tired of having to deal with their talk, might as well try to end this as quickly as possible. "I want to hang out with my friends."
Nellie, Terry, and Alise looked at me for a brief moment, before sighing and just leaning back into their chairs.
"I don't think she's going to budge on this topic. Alise, just make sure she gets to the village center safely, alright? If she gets tired, at least she can sleep there for the time being." Terry recommended.
Alise could only nod at his words, obviously distraught by my choice.
I'll be honest when I say that I wanted to go to sleep as well. However, I needed to go to the forest today, because then I would probably forget about my idea. This was out of necessity.
Once I had Buan convinced to take me to the forest, from there it was basically over. I could get what I wanted, and that would be that.
"Okay, I'll do that," Alise stated casually, before looking at my stepmother with a concerned look on her face.
Amelie stood up, carrying her empty bowl and her spoon. "I'll go and ask the doctor for something to help out Feliza. I don't think her condition is serious, so let her be free."
I finished my meal and picked up the meal, heading over to put away my dishes. Alise could only sigh as she got up and did the same, before taking my hand softly and lightly.
My hand instantly felt like pinpricks were stabbing into it, constantly going at my poor fingers and amplifying the pain I already had going through my veins.
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I simply grit my teeth and endured the pain. Any signs that I was actually weak, and I would be stuck sleeping in the crib and getting nursed.
While that would be nice, I needed to set my eyes on what really mattered, and the task I would need to accomplish immediately.
"Alright, let's go Feliza." The two of us got out the door, with Alise thankfully opening the way for me, before we headed over to the village center.
The walk was grueling. With every step I took, I felt as though minor explosions were bursting throughout my legs in an attempt to keep me from walking normally.
This was true suffering. I truly, utterly wished that my Minor Pain Resistance had been upgraded, so I wouldn't be aching with every move.
"Feliza," Alise said, with pure concern and fear creeping into her soft voice, "are you sure you're okay? I'm willing to listen to you, and I can help. So please, tell me if you're doing okay."
If I said the harsh and cruel truth, Alise, you would think I'm completely insane. No, not just that, you'd probably hate me to the end of your life.
After all, if I had to say the truth, I would be frank and to the point. It'd probably be something like:
'Oh, I died in my previous life, and I reincarnated into this world. I hate my current situation, and I'd rather just pretend all of you didn't exist so I could go and get stronger. I'm trying to leave this world as fast as I can so I can get back to my real mother, and ignore the family that gave birth to me here.'
Yeah. If I said something like that to you, you'd get depressed, hate me, etc. There's no reason for me to tell you the truth at all.
"Don't worry. I'm just tired," I lied blatantly to her, and she seemed to look downcast from my reply.
Trust me, it's better than the truth, so just take what you can get.
"If you say so Feliza," She said casually, and we just kept walking in silence. Nothing but the chit-chatter of people that walked past us and the animals nearby giving off their cries.
Thank god the wind wasn't blowing, otherwise I probably would've reacted harshly from the breeze's touch.
Within a few minutes, we arrived at the village center, and Alise let go of my hand, before crouching down.
"Just be safe, okay? You're not feeling too well, so you need rest." Yes yes, I get it, now leave me alone.
She casually walked off, and I could finally sigh out of relief, before moving forward cautiously towards Buan and Sally.
Each step I took, I was forced to swallow the cry of pain that would erupt out of my mouth. Each single moment my foot collided with the ground, I had to just stomp down on my mind and body.
I could only endure so much, and I could feel myself getting closer and closer to my limits. I needed to rest and go to sleep for a while before I decided to enter the forest today.
But before I could even do that, I needed to ask the serious question first and get a confirmation that would allow me to do this.
I stood in front of my two acquaintances, who were looking right back me with peculiar eyes. Silence reigned between the three of us, standing in the atmosphere and weighing down on our surroundings.
Then, the air was cut sharply by a single question. "Hey, Feliza, why do you look so tired? Did you not even get a wink of sleep?"
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I looked at Sally with an unamused face before sighing in response, "No, I didn't. Couldn't sleep well last night."
"That's terrible, Feliza!" Buan replied, obviously concerned for my health as well. "Don't worry, today I'll definitely get you some forest herbs that will help out with your condition! They're guaranteed to work, since I used the same stuff when I got nightmares!"
"Thanks for the offer, Buan, b—" Wait a second. What did he just say?
"Say, you're going to the forest today, right?" The red haired boy nodded eagerly, and puffed out his chest.
"That's right! I'm going there with my brothers, and I'll try my best to—"
"Can I come with you?" I interrupted him, just so I could make my point clear. Sally swiftly looked at me with an appalled face, while Buan stared at me with his jaw open and a look of complete disbelief.
"Feliza, no. You can't come to the forest with me and my brothers." There was the comeback I was expecting. However, I had an idea to deal with this mess.
"Why not? If you can go and be safe every single time, I feel like I could be safe with your strong siblings." He scratched his head and looked away, before turning around and giving me a look that could turn a normal person to ice.
"No. You're a girl, and girls shouldn't have to do stuff like this." Yeah, whatever, that's not really true. Besides, I already had a counter-argument ready, so hah!
"Nellie does the men's work, and she's a girl. What's wrong with me being like that?" The poor kid immediately reacted, and slapped his hands on my shoulders.
I wish he would've been softer, because the impact from that hit was enough that I nearly yelped from the pain. The sensation I had was comparable to being slammed on the shoulders with two heavy hammers.
"Feliza." I looked up at Buan, and I could see him giving me a look of sorrow. "I get the point, but my answer is no. You're clearly not fine."
"What are you talking about? Of course I a—" He massaged my shoulder, and I could feel the nerves spark up and erupt into flames.
"You see?" I winced and looked away. "I only pressed down a bit, and you jumped up like you got stung by a bee."
"Maybe you're just too strong Buan. You do go up in the forest and do whatever with your siblings." He turned around and looked at Sally with an expression that just asked 'really?'.
"Buan, I know I'm a bit under the weather—"
"A bit under the weather? Feliza, you're tensing up like crazy." Ugh. No matter how I tried to think about ways to circumvent this issue, there was no way I could lie about the facts on the table.
My body certainly wasn't up to par to try to go out and try to fight a monster. What I needed to do was rest u and take a break, but I had to go out and to this today. I just had to.
Just when all hope appeared to be lost, Sally butted in and made me feel like she was being useful for once.
"Then why can't she just sleep inside the village center with Esther? She's probably got something to help with Feliza's current condition, so I don't see that much of a problem." Just like that, the path to my salvation was opened by the most unexpected of saviors, and I grabbed onto the golden rope to victory.
"Yeah, she probably would have some kind of medicine or tea to help me," I said eagerly. "She might even let me sleep inside the village center as well."
"Are you sure about that? She doesn't seem to be willing to do something as nice as that." I stared at Buan with an odd look.
I couldn't understand why he'd say something like that. Esther was one of the nicer of my acquaintances, and she was willing to help me out a lot. I don't know why he'd say such a thing.
"That's not a good joke. You should apologize to her the next time you see her." He began to gape at me like he was a fish trying to get air, and I could hear Sally's muffled laughter in the background.
"You only think she's nice because she's been friendly to you! She's mean! She's a wi—" Before he could even finish his sentence, he was shoved hard right to the ground by a girl with white, curly hair, and an angry purple glare aimed right at the red haired boy.
Buan proceed to fall right onto the ground, landing on some mud, and started to get up. He glared at me with his brown eyes, and pointed right at the culprit of this terrible crime.
"You see what I mean?!" I don't understand your point, you dug that hole for yourself.
"Hi, Esther!" I said cheerfully, and the village elder's daughter gave me a strained smile, almost as if she had a hard time trying to talk to me right now.
"Hey, Feliza, so I overheard the fact you're not feeling well, and that you want to go to the forest today." Shit. I was caught red-handed.
"Before you go, you should get permission from your parents. I can help with your health issue temporarily, but they're not going to help in the long run. I suggest going to the doctor and getting those problems fixed." I nodded, letting her know I understood.
"Hey, wait a second, what about me?" We all turned and looked at the dark blue haired girl who had been cut out of this conversation. "Don't I get a chance to say my own opinion on the matter?"
"What, you want to go too?" Buan snorted as he got up and wiped the mud off of his face, to which Sally responded by laughing and slapping him hard on the back.
"Of course, you big dummy! If my best friend gets to go, then I get to go as well!" I looked at her with a blank expression, and I'm sure everyone had done so.
Why the hell were you calling yourself my best friend? I wouldn't even consider you a friend, don't go and dump that kind of title on yourself without any good reason.
"Look, point is that I want to come too. Why can't I come as well!" She stomped her foot down, and pouted at us with the best of her ability.
Nice try, but it failed for me. I'm sure that the others would have no problem dealing with this—
"Ask your parents first," Esther replied, crushing my expectations and my dreams. "I doubt they'd say yes, but getting permission first is always necessary."
"Yeah, I got that, but doesn't Buan have to say okay? Hey, say 'yes, I'm fine with that', alright? It'll be a great play date!" She shouted as the hyperactive girl jumped on Buan's shoulders, and gave him a bit of a choke-hold.
Shockingly enough, the boy chose not to be a gentleman. He proceeded to swing right, and Sally's weak grip fell right off as she tumbled into the mud.
The three of us instantly stepped back from the small wave of wet dirt, and Sally looked up at Buan with a look of utter betrayal and anger.
Meanwhile, the boy in question was busy laughing at her face, stopping time to time to wipe tears off his eyes.
"You jerk!" she shouted as she quickly grabbed a fistful of mud and threw it right at his face. The ball impacted directly on his mouth, causing him to fall over and land hard.
The muddy girl laughed, and I could see Buan getting ready for his counter-attack. Instead of choosing to stick around and get caught in the crossfire, Esther proceeded to take my hand lightly and lead me away from this scene.
"Come on, Feliza, let's go. The last thing you need is for your body to be in even more pain from random rocks." She muttered, as we went into the village center and got inside her little study.
The room was comfortable as always, and I was placed on a chair lightly and firmly. Thankfully, Esther seemed to be way more gentle than the rest of the people I met, because I felt no pain from her touch at all.
Seems like she knew how to work with weak people easily, almost like she had dealt with this kind of situation before.
"Sit right there, I'll be right back." She then left the room completely, allowing me to sit down and relax for a while. I breathed in the air in the study, taking the time to attempt to relax my muscles and make sure that my body had the ability to actually rest for once.
Before long, she came back with some candles and tea on a tray, as well as a small blanket tucked over her shoulder.
She worked quickly, turning the cushions of the study into a makeshift bed and lighting these strange candles up nearby.
She then picked me up softly, as though I was a baby, and laid me down on this makeshift bed. Afterwards, she then laid the blanket on top of me, and prepared a small cup of tea for me.
I was completely blown away at how comfortable I was, and how much Esther was willing to do to make me feel better. It felt like I was back in Japan, laying down on my own bed, with my mother taking care of me.
I had to use all my willpower to not start crying right then and there.
"Here, drink this slowly. This should help with your muscle pains." She said calmly, offering me the warm cup and holding it in a way that wouldn't cause the liquid inside to spill all over my face.
I took a sip, and I could feel my body slowly relax, and the pain that I had been feeling so much was beginning to recede. I could finally move around without feeling like I was breaking my bones with each little movement.
"Why are you doing this for me?" I asked. There was no way she was nice just because, people always had to have some kind of ulterior motive for being nice.
Bullies and loan sharks always put up a façade of gentleness, so there was no way this was out of pure kindness.
"Because I've experienced the same thing when I studied for days without sleep. Trust me, muscle pain is difficult to work with, and I have learned how to deal with this situation." That made some sense, but that didn't satisfy my suspicions.
"That's not what I meant. Why are you so nice to me? Out of all the people out there in the field?"
She looked at me with complete confusion, as though I had just asked a dumb question.
"Because you're only two years old."
I froze. How did she figure that out? Not even Buan or Sally managed to learn that, and I'm definitely sure they talked to Alise time to time.
"I was fooled for a moment, but my dad confirmed your age with me," She said frankly.
Damn it! I should have known the village elder had kept notes on everyone in the village. I also don't know why I thought Esther wouldn't have tried to dig into my life within the past fifteen days.
She looked at me for a moment, before silently looking away. "I don't know why you were sent here when you should be four, but it really doesn't matter."
"Why? Why doesn't it matter if I'm underaged, huh?" I was really lost here. What was her logic behind that statement? Was it the whole idea of screwing the rules because she had power?
"Because you're you. You're Feliza, a girl that's trying her hardest to just connect to people." That's not true. If I had the choice, I'd decide to not try to connect with people at all.
It's so tiring from my side, and I'm not interesting enough to hold a conversation for long at all. I don't even want to talk all that much, because trying to connect to someone's basically a waste of time.
At least, that was what I thought before, back in Japan. Back when the only emotional connection I had was my angelic mother, and when I was basically a loner with zero friends.
Now? Well, I was still the same, but I had some kind of connections, even if they're as tiny as thin wires. They were ties that kept me to this world and made me want to give communication a shot.
Granted, I'm not going to just go out blatantly and try my best to make as many friends as possible, because that idea's retarded. That only exists in manga and anime, not the real world.
What kind of anti-social dumbass like me could make friends just by being themselves? No one, that's what.
But, that hope existed now. I felt that connection I didn't want to have, that feeling that I could relax and possibly change for the better, like an ugly caterpillar turning into a beautiful butterfly.
With the wisps of smoke that smelled like strawberries and roses, and with this fluffy and warm blanket over me, I found it difficult to try to make myself think of the worst.
In fact, I don't think I wanted to believe that anything bad could happen from here on out. The atmosphere was so comfy that it reminded me of Japan once more.
I watched as Esther stroked my head gently, taking the cup away from me as she set the tea away, before getting up.
"I'll go prepare something for you to eat while you sleep, alright? I'll talk to your parents and see if you can go to the forest tomorrow." With that, she left the room, leaving me by myself in this peaceful environment.
Wait, she said going to the forest tomorrow, right? Not today?
I thought about it, then I just ignored the idea. That was fine. It'll be fine if I go to the forest tomorrow.
After all, I was still two years old, meaning that an extra day wouldn't kill me. I really didn't want to get out of this bed and ruin the moment.
I just snuggled in, and started to drift away. I could feel myself being tucked in by the warm, gentle sunlight, and I could feel my minds go to happier places.
Enjoy the little things in life. That's what my mother said, and I can understand why she says that now.
It was truly nice to indulge in the small, peaceful moments.
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