I lay there on the ground, with a big, fat, goofy grin on my face. After almost an entire month of training and hard work, I had finally mustered enough EXP points to level up a stat.

I couldn't believe this situation was happening. After all this time, after all that hard work… I was finally getting somewhere! I was making progress!

Even though my stat growth was way slower that I had expected, that didn't matter. I was finally able to upgrade one of my abilities! Yatta!

This was better than anything I could anticipate. After all, I was finally able to get stronger.

One point to increase my stats wasn't much. In fact, that wasn't anything special, it was a measly single upgrade I could dump on any of my abilities.

That didn't matter though! I was stepping up in the levels of power! I could do anything with this one point. In fact, Minor Pain Resistance was something I could upgrade right now.

Despite the fact that trying to save up for some other skill or attempting to stockpile up EXP to make a new power-up would be the most beneficial, I couldn't do that. I was too excited, too thrilled to get the upgrade I wanted so badly.

"Upgrade Minor Pain Resistance." I waited eagerly for the chance to get one of my skills raised that much...

[You require 9,900 more EXP to upgrade this skill.]

...and got complete disappointment and dismay in return.

Ugh, seriously? I needed 10,000 EXP points to upgrade that? I was nowhere near that amount, and if I did want to get there, I'd need to do years of basic training to get up there.

Heck, I don't even think doing my normal night training would suffice to getting there, as my practice has begun to stagnate in increasing my stats.

Forget it! I'll continue with my daily exercise, since that was the best way for me to get more familiar with combat.

I looked over my stats carefully, raising myself to a sitting position. Let's see... which one should I upgrade?

I have enough HP right now, so I'll leave that where it is. My Strength, Agility, and Intelligence were all okay, so there was no need for me to level those up.

My Wisdom and Endurance, while they weren't as high as I'd like them, were still over the ten mark, so they were fine.

Maybe I should raise my dexterity? I'm not entirely too sure what that does. If I raise it up, I could learn what that stat helps me in.

"Help Dexterity," I said, and all the information leaked into my head once more. I could only nod as the knowledge seeped through my brain. Everything suddenly made sense.

[Dexterity: A stat block that determines how skilled one is in acrobatics and actions requiring finesse. The primary ingredient to performing numerous tasks and twisting your body in shapes to dodge certain attacks.]

So, Dexterity was just the capability of being acrobatic and flexible. Okay, but what was Agility for then?

[Agility: A stat block that determines how fast and quick one can move. The defining feature that determines the speed of someone's movements, attacks, or other such activities.]

That explained a lot, actually. I wasn't training my acrobatic skills and flexibility all that much, I was more or less training my speed.

Guess I had something else I would need to add to my training regime... either that, or I could just upgrade my dexterity.

I looked at my mana once more. Zero mana existed in my system, so I was basically and utterly useless in any kind of magical capability.

Well, leveling up the mana stat in the video games I had played before should provide around 10-15 MP per upgrade. That could give me some kind of edge, maybe even let me cast some low-leveled spells in the future.

Even though I wasn't capable of learning any kind of magical abilities now or being able to create any kind of spells for me to cast, having mana can provide me with an additional path to undertake at the very least.

I was feeling good about this. Alright, let's go!

"Upgrade Mana!" I commanded proudly and happily. After a moment, I felt my body go twisting for a brief second, before everything went back to normal. I could sense that something had changed, and I had no doubts that it was for the better.

"Status!" I said, ready to be amazed…

[Level 1]

[HP 30/30]

[MP 0/1]

[Strength 13]

[Endurance 11]

[Intelligence 16]

[Wisdom 13]

[Agility 15]

[Dexterity 4]

[EXP Points: 0]

...before the smile on my face was wiped off in a cruel and inhumane fashion.

What? I could only blink my eyes, and just stare up in shock. That couldn't be right, I couldn't have gotten such a ridiculously small amount upgraded.

I was probably hallucinating. I might have gotten some wrong information. Yes, that had to be it.

"Status." Again, instead of a drastic change in my mana reserves, all I had was one point of mana.

One single bit of mana that I would be allowed to use to create any spell I wanted. Just one. A single idiotic move had wiped the slate clean and ruined my greatest moment, and destroyed all my hopes and dreams.

I expected my ability scores to go up by one, that was nothing new. After all, it was a single point increase, right?

But... but what? What did I think was going to happen? That I would get over ten MP from a single ability point?

This entire time, I had been deluding myself. What was one single stat point? Nothing. Not even a single drop to be proud of. It was like a bit of dust that no one could see in the air.

I had gotten proud over nothing. I had gotten happy over a single pinprick of bullshit.

And now I felt sad over spending that useless item? Was I really that idiotic, that lost in my thoughts and delusion that I couldn't even see something like that?

No matter how hard I thought, the line of logic I had used was utterly retarded and idiotic. Why did I think this system would be the same as other RPG games? Why did I believe that things would go my way for once?

Did I forget who I was fighting? Did I forget how I came to this situation? Did I just believe deep in my heart somewhere that this was going to be some kind of fun isekai novel?

Yes. I did.

I see the errors in my way. I was just an idiotic, optimistic idiot. To think that I could have some positive moment in my life was a joke.

True, I had the little things in life, but what were they, compared to the big picture? God himself was planning against me, and I could even hear his mocking laugh and what his line would be.

'Aw, you little dumb ant, did you really think things would be so easy? You trash! You scum! You ought to just kill yourself, because clearly, you aren't fit to even call yourself a human! You're not even comparable to the homeless garbage, you're worse than them in all!'

And in the end, he was right. What did I have to show for nearly a month of effort? Nothing but a fuck-up that shut me up good and put me back in my place.

No, I had to stay strong. I could feel the tears crawl down my eyes as though they were desperately attempting to escape from a giant being, and I could feel my throat choke up out of pure depression.

No, I had to get myself back together. This... this was fine. It was okay. I could rebound. I could get back after another month...

Ah, who am I kidding. Everything's not okay. If I needed to get somewhere, I needed to train for months and months just to get at least enough EXP to level something up to around for a few numbers. Not even twenty points up or fifteen, most likely less than ten.

That wasn't even factoring in the fact that my current training was beginning to stagnate. I wasn't going to be able to make any full steps towards my plan, and this entire time, I was just pretending I would.

... yeah, that was right. I was just a little idiot girl, who was deluding herself with every step.

I didn't deserve to believe I was strong in any way, yet I did. I had hope that I was able to do something so easily, that I forgot what my circumstances were.

This wasn't a game where I could get victory over my first step. I wasn't even level two, how could I be so retarded?

No. I knew what to do.

I got up, and started to head towards my bed. I knew what I needed to do.

I had to get down and dirty in my attempts to get stronger. Just fighting nothing in the night and playing around achieved nothing. Trying to be nice got me nowhere.

If I wanted to get stronger, if I wanted to level up... I would have to go into the forest.

I would have to go inside the so-called dangerous lands, and fight. I would have to go and succeed in killing a single monster, and get stronger that way.

Beat down some of the weak, beginner mobs that were generally designed to help the beginning character level up to deal with further threats. Kill those small insects and get even higher in the ranks, so I could truly make progress.

I knew fully well that deep down, this was the obstacle I needed to clear. To get into the forest and fight, rather than just pretend I was doing something.

After all, every single anime and game always stated that experience was the best teacher, and what better way was there to learn than to fight the real monsters?

I could even level up my stats and abilities that way. I could actually accomplish something, rather than just kick up a sweat and pretend I was capable of doing any kind of battles.

Without that knowledge and information, I would probably just freeze up in a real fighting situation and get myself shot in the head by an arrow. Without the proper emotional training, I would just scream and run, emotionally distraught by what I had just witnessed.

I couldn't let myself go down that far. I had to steel myself mentally and physically, get myself into the game for real this time.

I vaulted over the window, and landed on my crib. There, I just laid and stared at the ceiling, unable to find any kind of desire to sleep.

I didn't understand why. I was exhausted from my training this night, and I knew that there was really nothing else I could do here.

I had a strategy for what to do tomorrow, and I knew full well what kind of situation I was going to find myself in.

I knew I would have to talk to Buan and persuade him to let me go to the forest with him and his brothers, and try to find a monster I could kill and level up with. Even if I had to be within a group, I was confident that nothing bad would happen. I knew that there would be that safety net that would catch me perfectly.

Yet, at the same time... why did I feel so uneasy about this? Why did have this unshakable feeling in my bones that something terrible was going to happen?

Somewhere, someplace, I could hear the faint laughter of something, almost as though I was being mocked for my ideas.

I couldn't find any sleep that night, and when morning came, I couldn't help but feel jittery about what was to come.