《No Matter What, I Will Get Back Home!》(9) Learning Feelings
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"We're back from the village center!" Alise announced, as me and her both entered the house. She seemed to be happy as she put the basket of those incredibly delicious bread on the table, with a little spin as well.
Sitting at the table were two people that I didn't expect to be there: Nellie, who was currently eating a bowl of stew, and Terry, who happened to be chewing on a stalk of grass and leaning back.
I got to the table in a rather quick motion and sat myself down, before reaching into the basket and pulling out a bun for me to eat. I watched as Terry had an eyebrow raised at the food item in my hand, while Nellie's eyes widened and her jaw opened up like a snake.
"No way! Are those... soft bread buns stuffed with chicken?" She asked as she stared at the bun I was about to bite in. "Share some with me, Feliza! Older sister would like to help lighten your load!"
"Stop." A thwack was heard as Terry launched a karate chop unto Nellie's head, causing her to squeak out in pain. "That's hers, it's for the first day at the village center... but why is she here now? This is way too early, Alise, she should have been back at night time."
Alise looked sad as she sat down, before sighing and slamming her head down on the head of the table. Thankfully, she didn't make a harsh sound, just a motion to portray her distaste for the previous scenario. "The guards ended up stopping her from making any friends, so they just told me to bring her early."
The two of my older siblings froze, and I noticed that they were getting angry. Nellie stood up, slamming her hand against the table and jolting it, before looking towards the distance.
"Oy, do Marcus and I have to go teach those two brats a lesson? We can do that easily." While I would like that, I don't think Alise would approve, so... maybe no.
"No need, they said they'll make it up by helping out Feliza make a few friends." Wait, what? I looked over to Alise with wide eyes as I kept chewing on my delicious, lovely chicken bun.
Absolutely not. The last thing I want to do is make friends with the help of those two jerks. Just let me be a loner in peace, and not intervene. This entire situation was problematic for me at least. I didn't want any friends, I just wanted to be able to get into the village center and read.
"But I don't want to have friends, I just want to be by myself." Might as well just pop up and say my opinions before they decide to try anything. "I don't feel like talking to other people besides my family."
Nellie and Terry immediately turned their heads towards me, while Alise lifted up her head so fast I was worried that she would've broken her neck. They just chose to stare at me for a while, making me start slowly eating the bun again.
Did I say something wrong?
"Feliza, that's the wrong way to think," Terry said slowly and strongly, almost as if he was trying to convey important information to a colleague. "You should never feel alone in this world, just having a family isn't just enough to go by in this world."
Okay, that statement was definitely wrong. My past self would like to correct you on that. She was able to live decently all by herself without any friends.
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"Look, Feliza," Nellie said as she put both of her hands on my shoulders, with a grimace on her face. "I get that those two guards ruined your first day, but that's no reason to just decide to give up on trying to interact with others. Trust me, not everyone is as bad as those two."
"I just want to stay inside the village center for the whole day." At my words, the trio looked at each other, before nodding in synchronization.
"Hey, Feliza, just enjoy those buns for a while, your sisters and I are going to have a little chat." The three of them headed outside, and I just silently sat there, chewing and finishing up one of the rolls, then going for another.
I don't know why, but these chicken stuffed buns were criminally good. I felt myself finishing up the second one almost instantly and lifting the blanket covering the basket to see how many were left.
I was utterly shocked to see ten of those delectable buns left. That meant that I could take my time and finish off each of these buns one by one, at least until I was completely full. Which meant that I could wait and savor the flavor more, instead of rushing myself.
That would be hard, but I could do it. I silently took another roll and chomped into it. Immediately, my mouth was filled with the juicy chicken and well-seasoned vegetables all morphed into a sensation blast of joy.
Ah, I could eat this every day! I started to chew and force myself to eat slowly, but this war was difficult to beat. Bit by bit, I kept eating each bun and savoring its taste, before, to my horror, I had eaten too many.
There were only two left in the basket, and I realized that I had been eating them way too fast. My other siblings had not returned yet, the light outside had not changed at all, and on top of that, I was still hungry.
Well, it's not like anyone else was going to try to steal these last few buns. I grabbed another one and started to eat it, just in time for the door to open.
"Alright, the three of us talked it over an- Wait, Feliza, how many chicken stuffed rolls did you eat! Save the last one for me!" Cried Nellie as she dashed over, grabbing the last bun and holding it protectively. "You've eaten almost all of them already, please share!"
The other two didn't move from their spot. Terry just stood there, blinking his eyes continuously before rubbing them to make sure he probably was seeing things right, while Alise was just standing there with her eyes wide open and her jaw dropped drastically.
Was the amount I ate really that much? I only eat eleven rolls, that amount was something a normal teenager... could eat...
Right. I wanted to slap myself in the face so hard that I would break my nose. I forgot that I'm supposed to be a two-year-old, and I just ate a large amount of food in one sitting. I just doomed myself into a hole of endless horror.
What would they say? How could they react? Would they discover that this kind of appetite was only possible if someone was training constantly, or would they accept the fact that I was just a big eater?
"Nellie, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you may not be the biggest eater in the family anymore. I think Feliza's taking your spot." And with that, a large number of my concerns were dashed into nothingness. I could only sigh in relief as they just rolled with the fact that I merely held a large appetite.
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... then again, I didn't feel too happy to be equated to Nellie, who could eat six bowls of stew in one sitting. I couldn't be as bad as her... right?
"Sigh." She said as she silently looked down at the floor. " I just wish Feliza wasn't such a heavy eater. That would mean that I could easily have five, six, maybe even eight of those delicious rolls... Not this single, lonely bun..."
Nellie sighed as she sat down on a chair glumly, and put the bun on the table. I just looked at her as I chewed on my roll, realizing that I was halfway through. Unfortunately, I was still a bit hungry, and she didn't seem to be all that willing to keep eating that bun, so I'll ask her for it.
"Can I have the bun if you're not going to eat it?" Nellie reacted instantly, quickly swiping the bread off the table and taking a big bite out of it, before replying.
"No way! This is way too delicious to give up!" I could only pout at her. I get what she meant, especially because I knew she ate a lot, but come on, that was too harsh of a reaction.
"Pay attention to the important situation at hand," Terry said as he casually tapped her on the shoulder. Nellie simply jolted, and looked at him, before swallowing the food that was already in her mouth.
"Alright, alright, I got it." She said as she set down the bun carefully enough that the filling inside did not spill out at all. "Okay, Feliza, it's time to have a talk."
I started to get a little worried. What was this talk going to entail now? Couldn't I get a little break or something?
"You can't just pretend that being alone is a good thing," Terry said as he looked at me in my eyes. Again, that kind of statement was drastically wrong, I ca- "Even though you can technically live by yourself for the rest of your life, look deep into your heart. Can you really see yourself being happy just by yourself? Living in a town isolated by everyone else, just doing your business without trying to interact with people? I can't see you living on without having some kind of key connections to someone, whether it be family or friends."
I opened my mouth to give a retort about how that wasn't true... then close it almost instantly. I couldn't actually argue against that.
My old loner life never had any happy moments that I could recall, unless I was with my mother. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make any friends that I could deem as truly trustworthy, nor was I able to recall any singular moments where I was truly happy with the state of my life.
They... they were right. There truly was no way that I could live a happy life without having a person that I could legitimately, wholeheartedly call a friend. I needed that special link in my life, like how I had my mother as my lifeline.
Fortunately, I had my new family as my friends. I don't really need anyone else.
"But I have my family. Why do I need more?" At this moment, Alise seemed to be shocked, while Nellie blinked and scratched her right arm. Terry, on the other, sat down and looked at me in the eyes once more.
"Feliza, family isn't always enough. Someday, you're going to have to leave this house and make a name for yourself. Find a place that you call yours, and perhaps be able to realize that this building isn't your home anymore." That was true, but you didn't have to be that harsh. "Look, I'm just saying that you don't have to do this, just... think it over, alright?"
"Wait, Terry, this is the exact opposite of what we were talking about. We were going to get-" Anything that Alise wanted to say was silenced by Terry putting a finger on her lip, and looking right at her before she silently nodded. He then turned back to me and put a hand on my shoulder.
"I understand that your relationships with your fellow compatriots of age were ruined by those two, but ignore them. They're just... brainless idiots." I nodded at his words, not really intending to follow them all the way. I just wanted this to be over with.
"The point is that your first contact was ruined. That's bad on several levels, but the point isn't that your future prospects are over: rather, you should take the moment to double down and reinforce your abilities. I'm just asking you to try to make at least one friend, give it a shot. I promise you that you definitely won't regret it." I looked at Terry right in his dark brown eyes, trying to see if there was a single bit of deceit within his words and his face. If I saw a single moment of change, I would be able to instantly call him out on it and get that whole issue finished.
Except... he didn't. There was no show of him being hypocritical, no signs of him trying to lie to him: all of his words and reactions were genuine, and he was legitimately trying to help me out here.
I looked at both of my sisters, hoping to see them trying to just make something up to either make me feel better or reinforce their ideas of how I should act. I wanted them to just be acting like this so I could possibly get out of this situation.
There wasn't a single moment of insulting or even mockery. There was pity in their eyes and they seemed to be genuinely concerned about my wellbeing.
I... I have lost this battle. No matter how hard I tried to fight this, I wouldn't be able to make myself feel better about the fact that I probably didn't need to make any friends. Rather, I would feel hurt by the fact that my new foster family was genuine in their attempts to make my life that much better.
Fine, it seemed like I was stuck at an impasse. I might as well try to make a friend. After all, things could be different, right?
And if I couldn't make a friend, then I could at least make an acquaintance. And if I couldn't do any of those two things... well, I'm back to square one, so I really didn't gain or lose anything. In the end, I would probably be the one who gained the most benefits from this endeavor.
I could only self-delude myself so much, after all.
"Alright. I will try to make a friend..." Instantly, Alise brightened up, almost as if she was given a big bouquet of flowers from a random guy. Nellie simply smiled and nodded, almost as if she was happy with the outcome of these events, and Terry merely smiled and bowed his head.
"Very well then. Feliza, shall we start your training then?" Wait, what?
"What do you mean by training?" I asked, and I felt my heart sinking into despair as I watched the trio's face.
"Simple. We are going to help you train your speech skills. After all, being shy isn't always good, and we have to do something to rectify that, don't we?" Ugh. This... this was bad. I didn't expect this to occur. I had to find a way out, fast!
I frantically turned to the front door, which was being blocked by Alise, and Nellie seemed to be by my side. Terry sat there with a big goofy grin on his face, and I started to feel a hint of fear.
"Relax, Feliza. Nothing bad's going to happen. All we're going to do is help you learn how to speak to others without freezing up too much, and being able to talk like you do with us!" He said as he gave me a big, wide smile.
Never mind. I don't want to try to make a friend anymore. I would like to retrieve my options and take the optional route of becoming a hikikomori, please and thank you. But, as far as I could see, I was too late, and now I would have to pay the price.
I was then flung into a temporary hell that felt like an eternity. And at that moment, I felt true regret and utter despair.
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