Splitting Hairs

After things had mellowed out from earlier, I was still kind of embarrassed. So, Themis, lifting her foot up and stepping on the seat, with her chest pushed out in the most audacious way she could announce, “Very well, to quench your thirst for knowledge I shall tell you MY backstory! The backstory of the one the denizens of the walled city have dubbed, the Demon Lord!! Weeewooooweeeeee!!!!!!” She raised her hands and wiggled her fingers on the last bit, leaning into the energized performance.

“Seriously though, compared to you four I feel kinda like the odd one out. Truthfully I didn't hate my childhood, during it, I thought it was normal. I was tough so I could handle myself, you could say I was made for situations like the one I was born into.” she continued.

“If I stole food, I was likely fast or tricky enough to escape, and if I was caught, well, let’s just say I was tough enough to take care of myself.” With that last bit, she was gleefully admiring her long claws.

“Yeah, I've heard of those like you, beastmen with skills specialized for survival really do prosper in the clay city. So, what’d you do? Become a kingpin?” Grimalkin looked at her accusingly, his teeth showing a little with the growl in his voice rising.

Themis shrugged at him, turning away, “that’s exactly what I did. I kicked the kingpin out of my home turf, took everyone under my protection. After I was in charge though I noticed something, they weren’t utilizing their resources.”

Charlemagne and I just had blank faces, staring at the two beastmen before Napoleon piped up. “These two need to know, Kingpins in the undercity are sort of rulers of their turf, they used to run rampant until four years ago since then the numbers have been dwindling. They were sort of gang-leaders who thought of themselves as kings.”

Themis chimed in, loudly, proudly declaring, “You’re WELCOME! Geeze, let me finish my story you all. Anyway, after I was in charge as per custom the leaders of all the families came to see me and announce what they’re capable of. If it wasn’t for an ex-scribe Kobold listing the fact he could teach us to read and write, I wouldn’t have thought anything we did was possible.”

The elder Paladin interjected, “Oh, hoho! You did it, you actually achieved the one thing Leere was afraid of. Ha, no wonder he was willing to allow you to be declared a Demon Lord, I knew all that hard work would pay off. By keeping the ‘Lower’ populace illiterate, even if they could steal any documents or plans, they could never read it. Thus surprise attacks were a rarity.” Napoleon smacked Themis hard on the back and the two laughed together for a little longer than what felt comfortable

Themis wiped her eye, continuing, “Anyway the last three kingpins didn’t know what to do with the guy and had him on lookout duty. I put him to work organizing underground classes, teaching as many as I could how to read and write. Soon I picked the most trustworthy ones and we sort of became a group, we don’t even have a name.”

“Anyway, after Leere learned of our classes he panicked, declaring me a Demon Lord, I had to take my family and go into hiding. Unfortunately, my dad was captured before that. Your summoning provided him the perfect cover to escape, they got lazy when they thought they’d have a paladin to defend them.” She finished.

The first to pipe up was Charlemagne, “But what about all of those attacks on the barracks and guard stations.”

Themis growls in a low voice, flipping around and falling into the chair, crossing her legs. “You handed out food to people in my territory, you remember their faces at first? Let's just say that those in the position of authority need to be better screened. Human, Non-Human it didn’t matter, the guards who would take advantage of the system only cared that the ones outside the walls were open game. I apologize for nothing I okayed my people to do.

“But those innocent peo…” Charlemagne continued but Themis, fast as lightning covered his mouth, leaning close.

“None, NONE of those we attacked were innocent… If you could have seen the people we released from the clutches of some of these people. Slavers, the depraved, the violent, those are the ones who suffered, and I have evidence of it all.” She removes her hand from his mouth, whispering as quietly as she could, I barely heard her say. “You weren’t there when I opened that door.”

Grimalkin piped in, “Alright Charlemagne, time to tell us, what’s your story.” His face was hard to read, stern, curious, it was more neutral than anything.

Charlemagne looked at him confused, “Oh, my life was normal.”

We all looked at him confused at this point. He stammered but continued, “Yeah it was normal, I didn’t go hungry, the other priests treated me great. I liked my school and the medical classes, all of my superiors treated me wonderfully.… is that so out of the ordinary?”

This time I had to chime in, laughing as I realized it. “Ya know what, that makes a lot of sense, hey. Do me a favor and fill everyone in, how many non-humans did you meet while you were a kid? Ya know what, even before you met me?”

Charlemagne looked at me like I was an idiot and then started counting his fingers on one hand. “Uhm, three, I was asked to guard this kid one time when I was young cuz the priests said it would build character. Then there was a slime and a centaur in the army barracks I was stationed in during my exams.”

A collective acknowledgment passed over everyone in the room at this point. It was obvious, this poor kid’s onea those coddled ones, never let out to the real world. The gullible are the first to pull out pitchforks I guess.

Charlemagne, for the most part, looked terribly confused at the four of us nodding to each other. I had to clue him in, “Remember how you said you think that non-humans might have souls?”

His head darts around, looking to see if anyone other than the five of us were there. Of course, there was no one else. “SHHHHHHHHHH! I could get expelled for that blasphemy.”

I sit him down, directly across from me, looking him in the eyes. “Okay, I don't think you’re a bad guy, not anymore at least. Anyway, I think you're also pretty smart for knowing as much as you do about advanced healing magic.” He nods, his gaze not moving from my eyes. “So, if you’re thinking that non-humans might have souls, do you think the reason they kept them away from you was so that you would just believe that they don't?”

His face, if it weren’t so serious, would have been the funniest thing I have ever seen. In under a minute he went from crying, to bargaining, I don’t really know how many stages of grief there are anymore, but I think he went through a majority of them in silence for two minutes. “S-So… everything I believe is a lie?”

I get flustered at that, “P-probably not everything, j-just, consider what the motives behind certain teachings might be… If you disagree with it, just remove it from how you practice. Religion’s more of a basic guideline from what I understand.”

Charlemagne was quiet for a while. He got up to eat before dinner, I wonder just how much Vansen got into his head. Also, just how bad could that annoying little man with the too-large hat be?

***************************************************************************************************

Homing Wisp Archive

Month 7 Day 16 Year 427

Correspondence of Charlemagne V

To the Desk of Speaker of the Deity Vansen.

Nothing to report, Mission is on schedule.

***************************************************************************************************

We awoke to a Party, Napoleon had turned the sitting room into a breakfast buffet. He’s got seemingly every type of breakfast food. Fluffy, fresh steamy scrambled eggs, Toast with jellies of fruits I had no idea about. Sausages and grits, steaming and buttered. It was a full country breakfast.

Themis has already dug in, "if ya want flapjacks ya better sit down.” He said with a smile.

Have you ever seen a honey badger eat? Have you ever seen one eat with a fork and knife? Because it’s a site to see, she was just packing it away, I guess all that strength as to come from somewhere, with my own gut growling I had to agree. “Ya know what Napoleon, keep it coming!”

Grimalkin and Charlemagne sat across from us as the swift Paladin of the kitchen worked away, eating as he goes. Charlemagne remarkably doesn’t eat much, Grimalkin had a couple of plates. Themis and I were just packing away, I had caught up, sixteen plates a piece sat in front of us, licked clean of anything that glorious warrior chef could serve.

Warning, Mother Bird stamina storage reaching capacity, 90%. recommend to cease filling your pie hole.

….Okay, I know I'm not nuts, did the Manual just call my mouth a pie hole?

We all finished eating, setting back and raising our legs up, still a couple of hours until we got there. Charlemagne had curled up with Grimalkin, the two were happily napping away as Themis and I sat atop the carriage.

Napoleon drew on the top of the moving carriage, drawing a giant X connecting all of the corners to each other. Standing in the middle he slowly took out items from a bag. Twenty-something black feathers, some dried small lizards, and… a bottle of eyes, maybe eight of them? He stood there chanting, as the reagents dissolve into a purple fog before he announced to us both. “Full Cover. Now, now our tracks will be covered, our sound will be muffled, and we will be invisible to all for roughly a day or two.”

We all stayed atop the carriage, the wind howling past, the top magically made so you could walk on it without being blown away. A walled village was coming into view, a lot of good those walls are considering the mercenaries got in anyway. Soon we pulled up outside of the village, Napoleon handing Themis and I both a cloak.

“While those two rest, we’ll scout it out. Those have the same effect on them as the carriage. Don’t get within twenty feet of anyone or the effect stops working.” Napoleon hopped off the top of the carriage, I looked down and he’s perfectly fine, stretching for a run it looked like.

“Yeah, I’m takin the ladder” Themis was already walking back to the hatch, climbing into the cabin to use the door like a sane person. I, of course, followed her.

Napoleon looked at us both, getting a big goofy grin on his face, “No sense of adventure huh?” He tossed us both a pair of orbs, on closer inspection they’re eyeballs.

“EYUCH!” I almost drop it as Napoleon stops me, clasping his hands over mine making me hold it.

“Those are auto-scribes. They’re linked to the carriage and a gizmo in the back that I talked a friend of mine in the army into installing. Spit on them and they’ll link to your minds until you crush them. They’ll see what you see, record the thoughts you think. They’re perfect for reconnaissance. I’ve left some in a box in front of our two sleeping compatriots for when they wake.” Napoleon seems quite proud of this disgusting, mind-probing doodad, but fine. Let’s do this.

***************************************************************************************************

Record of Themis

Time of Activation 11:07:17:427

Entry 1

When will this thing work? Huh? “Hey, Napoleon, what’s going on with this thing? It’s floatin but it aint doin much else!” Egh, and what is with this headache?

“It’s working when it floats.” Wow, I hate when this old man just waves it off. “It’s likely already recording, try structuring your mind like the scriptures and that slight headache you’re feeling will cease…” What in the Dread is he talking about?

Wait a minute, what’s that echo in my head?

Echo!

I heard it again… Wait, does this mean I’m my own narrator?! Dread Yes! The first Non-Human centric scripture since Mountain Crasher Erinth! That guy was my hero growing up! All the plays, and all the reenactments, oh, when I finally read his scripture when Caspen pilfered it, it was a dream come true!

Wait, does that mean this echo in my head is me hearing it as it’s written?

I’m gonna have fun with this!

I, the mighty and gallant Themis followed Napoleon through the trees, us staying close so we could be in contact. While the Paladin would be walking in the front door, it was still up, the thick timber making the gate quite impressive, so he would be our eyes on the inside.

So far we’ve found about five or so puny platoons, just a few thugs and some swords, nothing I couldn’t handle on my own with a muzzle on and an arm behind my back. Really, these guys are pretty sloppy.

Another twenty minutes and another five guard stations, all of them seemed manned with at least five or six pieces of cannon fodder. Here’s hoping most is well and good inside of the village so these guys can live to see another day. I’m not gonna spare a murderer, a pillager, no monster gets away.

After another twenty or so minutes we’d made it to the other gate on the far end of the village. Also open, they seemed to be pulling in some foodstuffs… What? I guess this was more than just a sack and loot. These clowns might just make it out of here alive.

Around thirty guards at the gate, counting the ones in armor pulling the wagons. Napoleon spoke first, I'd honestly kind of forgotten they couldn’t hear us. “Seems they plan on staying, I hadn’t expected mercenaries to have a supply line already in place for Thebes. This doesn’t feel right, if all my time as a soldier tells me anything, this is a set up.”

“Yeah, but even if it is, these villagers are still being held, and if anyone set you up I’d bet it was the Merchants.” I countered back. These guys weren’t dumb, they’d most likely been spying on the Paladin since he was summoned. They’d know he wouldn’t be tricked like Napoleon, or indoctrinated like Charlemagne.

“Sure, I agree they’re sleaze-balls but why would they set us up? Surely they’d know we would stake this place out before we…” Just then some thought must have dawned on him because he ran into the village through the gate. “I doubt we have long, we MUST get back to the carriage Grimalkin and Charlemagne are in mortal danger!”

“What?!” I run after him, leaping and bounding with grace. Suddenly we hear a giant explosion from in the distance, a great wind sending out cloaks flying. The thirty or so guards then promptly spotted us just appearing out of thin air. “Oh dread.”

Napoleon quickly jumped back behind me, activating his skills which make me feel a bit warm and tingly. Then I rush at the large elephant-like beastman, giving his tusk a hard punch with my new weapon. For a fossil, Napoleon has a great taste in weapons, as the tusk shattered under the power of the blow, sending the bandit flying.

A kobold mage sacrificed some reagents and sent a powerful fire spell my way. Time to see if this works. Lifting my arms up and pressing them together the giant shield deploys from my fists, I dig my feet in as the attack hits me. It sends me back a bit, claw marks in the ground reaching three or four feet before the Kobold stops channeling, falling over exhausted.

“That all you got weaklings?!” I scream to my impotent challengers.

That got their attention as four thugs rushed at me, a slime transforming into a flying sword, a Centaur with a spear with a human riding him using a crossbow as a ratlike beastman fired at me with his bow.

I walk forward, not even blocking, letting the arrows hit, bouncing off of my armor. I really need to go see the gal that made it when I get back. Any arrows that hit my flesh fared no better, bouncing off my armor-like skin. I even grit my teeth and let the centaur slam his spear hard into my gut, it didn’t pierce the armor and I doubt it would have pierced my skin either. Oh, this would be good.

I look up at the centaur, holding his spear as he has yet to give up. The most menacing smile I could muster crossing my lips, fangs showing, I hold the spear with one hand as I stash away the shield gauntlet. Showing the bandits my claws as a rumble grew in me. Pulling the spear back and forcing the centaur to strike me again, not a scratch, then I made him strike my neck with it, the tip broke off his spear.

The deepest, most rumbling growl in my voice. “RUN!”

My smile deepened. The smart half or so ran, five of them collapsed on the spot, including my new centaur friend, finely giving me my gift, so sad it was broken now. The final ten rushed, Napoleon laughing in my mind

“Enjoying yourself I see? As you asked, I will only intervene if you wish, if only I had your stamina.” He was jovially chuckling at the thrashing I was giving. Oh, meanwhile some bonehead tried to strike me with his sword, I caught it, shattered it, and struck him with my claws, giving him a nice stylish little scar for the future. I made sure to miss his eye, how else would I spread the rumor of my power and mercy?

The next was a slime, deciding to cannonball itself at me like a projectile. After I grabbed the green wiggling substance in my hand, I proceeded to shove it down some unlucky human’s mouth, throwing them both into a tree.

Four more in a row, oh, I know how to do this. I bend down, pressing myself as low as I can, and jump up, grabbing a tree branch with my tail. “Catch me if you can!” I claw over the trees crawling over them using my claws to grip onto the wood. Leading the fools into the forest inside of the walls.

The fools followed me in, they didn’t know what hit them. My tail holding onto the branch, I dropped down behind one of them without making a sound, gripping one of them in a sleeper hold. With one of the seven down, six more toys to go. Zipping from bush to bush, making them freak out, one of them screamed and tried to run away, I let him of course.

“Napoleon, one coming your way, make sure he runs OUT of the town, got it?” I tell him through the skill. All I got in return was some grumbling. I quickly zip behind two of them, slamming a human and a centaurs heads together, just strong enough to knock them out. Spinning around I slam a third one down with my tail, if he’s not out he should just stay down. The final two soil themselves and run away, awh, I was hoping for more of a warm-up.

Cracking my knuckles didn’t seem to impress Napoleon as we continued dashing through the middle of town, trying to get to whatever caused that massive explosion. Running through the woods I notice something, a familiar wooden structure made out of logs. “Adventurers!”

It was a small guildhall, made for only servicing a few adventurers to turn in quests and receive rewards. There was a ceasefire between mercenaries and adventurers, due to the similar line of work they wound up running into each other often. So an agreement was reached saying that without a contract, Adventurers and Mercenaries will not interfere with one another.

“Napoleon, wait, if there’s still adventurers here we might find some back-up! I’ll go on ahead and check, you use that heavy coin purse of yours to get us some reinforcements, it seems we don’t have time to think up a plan.” It seems he agreed with me as he broke off his skills, nodding at me as I ran forward. I can only pray that the guildhall has a couple of poor souls looking for coin.

Running along the main road I'm passing a lot of stone processing plants with jade in them, a few farms and other things. The people seem to still be here, as they’re tending to their jobs… This is getting more and more confusing. I can understand and endorse not killing them all, but they aren’t really even controlling them in the least.

There’s someone in the road. A larger slime, the yellow kind, with a green… That’s another slime, the yellow slime is using a transformed green slime as a weapon. This one might not go down so easily. “I can’t let you go any further, sorry sweetie.”

Oh no, did that…. “Did you just call me sweetie you uppity lemon-lime snotball?!” This is not good, I don’t know magic, I can only really do physical damage, that slime is more than a small obstacle in my way.

He swung, the green blade reaching toward me as I leaped to my left, I needed to find a way around him. The Paladin has that electric weapon, he’s a better fit for this blob than I am, just give me something I can punch or slash or something!

The yellow slime is now moving around on the ground, almost as if it were swimming, just a hand holding the green blade as it bounded toward me. This pain was trying to get me to block, so I jumped, but the blade moved, wrapping around my leg and slamming me to the ground. “Let me go ya bastard!”

The armor slime reformed, swinging me around on a great green leash, slamming me into the ground.

Egh, even with my tough skin if I take too many of these crushing attacks I’ll be in trouble. I grab my shield gauntlet, raising it up so the shield would deploy, while I was in air mid-swing, I slammed the side of the deployed shield into the blade. It let go of me screaming.

I sliced clean through it, the lime reconnected to itself after it let me go. Finally, I was behind him, full speed to reinforcements.

There’s the Paladin a little down the road, Getting assaulted by some human with a whip or something. That’s something I can handle, time to trade-off!

***************************************************************************************************

Emergency Congressional Session

Month 7 Day 17 Year 427

Called by the right of Speaker Vansen.

First to speak: Speaker Vansen

“Honorable judges and magistrates, merchants and warriors. I ask that you listen to me. Long have we been under the threat of Demon Lords rising to usurp us and bring chaos to our lands. Long have we summoned the mighty Paladins to defend us, but today I bring you grave news.”

“On the journey to a village two days from here, to help with a recent magic beast surge. Paladin Napoleon, as well as the freshly summoned Paladin, was attacked by the Demon Lord. We have confirmed all five of their deaths, the scripture of the priest I had assigned to them had indicated a lack of trust placed in him by the Paladin. Surely the sympathizers must be purged, their thoughts have cost us our great Hero.”

“As you all know, we may only summon a Paladin once every twenty years. We are left on our own now, the Demon Lord is returning to the Green City as we speak. What will you do now, you leaders of the nation?! Will you allow this great city to burn? Will you allow the Demon Lord to rise, topple our mighty church, our mighty scripture?”

“No, I believe you will do the right thing. Restore the rights of the most perfect race. We must watch over the lesser ones, for their own protection. Lest they be led astray and become Demon Lords.”

“Return our Paladin given right to own the lesser beings.”