The Trial of the Paladins

Log of the Special Services of Themis: Council, Vadyana.

Month 7, Day 9, Colonial Callender year 427.

In Accordance with the Directive from Madam Themis,

Upon leaving the palace of the Lord-Governor of the Green City of the Three Citys Federation…

The newly summoned Paladin and an as-of-yet unknown beastman, walked to the guard outpost inside of the jade walls. During which it became increasingly clear that the beastman was currently intoxicated. Upon leaving the guard post, a large drinking mug was thrown at the beastman’s head. It appears that they had both paused for a moment, and then after the Paladin signaled to the beastman, he lept up into the guard's personal quarters. Returning quickly, the Paladin loudly ordered the beastman to return the tankard, full, for the guard’s trouble.

Upon drinking it the guard spit it out and lunged at the beastman after a short scuffle both the Paladin and the beastman made it out unharmed. Then, for an hour while the beastman sobered up, the both of them talked and laughed together, holding each other’s sides from laughing too much at one point. After helping the Paladin up, the beastman led the Paladin to Dekker St. There, his face hidden to the Paladin, the unknown beastman began crying uncontrollably. He slipped a dagger, as well as another device, out of his sleeves.

The Paladin, unable to see any of this, went around looking into the homes on Dekker Street. After turning back to the beastman, they triggered the device in their hand, causing the Paladin to double-over in pain. In accordance to Mistress Themis’ wishes, I did not intervene. Carefully, the beastman pulled the Paladin to the side of the road and wept, Not too long after that, the denizens began stirring. Lifting the Paladin onto his back the beastman carried him back to the barracks with some difficulty.

Further research into the beastman has concluded they are Grimalkin, grandchild of the Baltamus, and adopted grandchild of Paladin Napoleon. Further investigation reveals the device an Override Rune. Further surveillance requested, secondary team requested to monitor additional parties.

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Come to the Paladin’s Party trial!

Have you wished to become a legendary adventurer in the band of the Paladin as you have read in your scriptures? If the answer is yes then come, come to the Southwestern Barracks on the edge of town where the Shrine of the Paladin is located. Accepted or not you will be given a warm meal and drink!

*For those possessing exceptional skill picked by Paladin Napoleon and the new Paladin a prize awaits you even if you are not the chosen one.

*100 Silvers for the Paladin’s chosen one.

Under this flier, another one bearing strange markings was attached. They were handed out under the cover of night all over the inner and outer city. Many hungry, dejected members of the outer city saw only the free meal, gladly giving up their day and hoping that somehow the rules would allow their entire family to try.

These hungry souls and their families were greeted upon arrival and told that waited patiently in line and did their own trial, showing off any skill they had. That their family would be held by the Paladin’s handpicked army-members and given as much food as they wished.

All of this was according to the Paladin and Napoleon’s plan, even before the quest to defeat Mountain-Crasher Darrell. A party or fellowship was the sacred right of the Paladin according to the holiest texts of the church. After hearing the possibility that the dream he had was possibly real, the Paladin steeled himself to find out. Napoleon was the one who had finally suggested an ‘all you can eat try-out’ putting the Lord-Governor’s pocketbook on the line if at all possible.

Thousands showed. But, many retired to the mess, after being informed that trial or not, they were welcome to it, only under one hundred stayed to compete for a chance at the Paladin’s side.

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The door swung wide as the first of many waiting stepped up. She was a Kobold Mage, specializing in darkness magic, with few reagents she was able to create portals and increase gravity, but realistically, that was about it. She tried her hardest, especially considering she was in rags as she did.

She throws a ribbon into the first portal she made at her feat, quickly she points to the roof above Grimalkin. A second portal appears there right before the ribbon falls into the first, and then seamlessly onto the top of my assistant’s head. After a quick bow, she again raised her hand, crushing some kind of nut in her hand it floated away in a blue haze. Raising her second hand a wave comes out from her, sliding along the ground. Every chair holding a soldier collapsed surrounding her.

“My name is Tania; I’m pleased to meet you.” The short blue dragon-esq person bowed to us. We kind of just stared and the four and a half foot tall kobold as we tried to find the words.

Turning around and causing a huddle, Grimalkin pulled us two paladins to his side like playthings. “Okay, I like her, but I don’t know if we need another ranged fighter.”

“Her powers might be very useful, but they are still situational, in a real battle we can’t use her,” Napoleon countered.

I nod at them both, bringing up good points. This was an infiltration mission, after all, it is best if we don’t get found out. But if we do, we will need to fight our way out of the walled village.

Turning back around I toss her ten silver coins, “Stay until the end. If you go down the hall, you will see a cafeteria, please eat your fill there, on us. That is for your time, keep it if we take you or not.”

She started crying, I would soon learn that would not be an uncommon reaction, ten silvers was what people on the inner walls got paid in a full two weeks. I was more than glad to help, ten silver at a time wouldn’t dip too far in to the reserve, and not only did she seem like a genuine possibility, I also didn’t know where else to put the money to work.

The next attendee was an orange slime who bowed to us all before showing us amazing things. They could harden their body, morphing a part of them in front of the rest in the shape of a large Tower shield. With their motion to fire, one of our guards in the room we had stationed for these demonstrations fired his short bow at it. The arrow bounced off, clattering to the ground without a scratch on the slime.

Then, the slime motioned for the next guard to fire, this time a crossbow. The guard readied herself, aimed directly in the middle, and fired. The bolt flew, the tip seemingly entering the very front of the shield. I say seemingly, because…

“Wow! That’s something; being able to use the sword stopping technique as a gel-like being means they can stop anything!” Shouted the excited old man to my side, slapping the table like a sports fan after an amazing play. He had jumped out of his seat, smiling, it seems that seeing something new he just couldn’t settle down.

Then, as if to show me what Napoleon was talking about, the slime pointed to the guards on the melee side of the room. Asking for a guard with what appeared to be a large katana blade, once ready, with a squeak from the slime on deck, the guard brought the katana down as hard and quick as he could. Six small tendrils no thicker than fiber-optics touched the katana, three on each side, stopping it in its tracks.

Even the guards stood up clapping at that. Without conferring between the three of us, I tossed the coins into the air, and the slime grabbed each of them individually, stretching and bowing. “I am Eisho of the orange slimes, thank you for your praise.” Nothing really moved much on the slime as they talked, but the whole thing looked more like they were purring.

“Keep the coins! Stay in the other room until we are done here, we will call you back, there is food and drink in the mess for free all day.” With that, Eisho left the room, giddily bouncing in the shape of what genuinely looked like a jackalope if it were made out of orange gelatin.

When Eisho left, we all discovered we had wanted them for different reasons. Personally, I just thought the transforming ability was useful. Napoleon thought it was a wonderful illustration of martial prowess. Grimalkin, on the other hand, had been thinking Eisho would make a wonderful piece of equipment.

Upon voicing these thoughts, however, laughter erupted from the Lt. Commander in charge of the guards we were using. From that, the eternal question has been answered …. Yes, centaurs do indeed whinny when they laugh. Still, the centaur bowed and stepped in the middle of the room when I called for the next attendee.

“Sir, if you check, you will see my name third on the list. I am Lieutenant Commander Franz Velstein. Sir!” Bowing again, his legs are shaking more than when Eisho talked. It seemed finally someone had more than one name.

“Manual, why has no one else introduced themselves with more than one name?” I whispered as quietly as I could.

Answer: Last names are only used by those of high standing in this country. Normally only humans use them, however any lineage three or more blood relatives serving in the military are also given last names. Lord-Governor Leere’s full name is Julius Ozymandias Leere. His name was listed on the plaque when you were brought into his home. It is also reasonable to theorize that Vansen, as well as General Oberon, have first and last names as well.

I open my hand and bid him rise, after that we went out to the tracks, following him. With practice swords against six mounted riders, Franz Velstein defeated them all with ease, never breaking stride. Again, another round of applause from all three judges, just as I was handing him the money like I did the rest of the winners so far, he stopped me.

“Please, Sir Paladin, I have heard what you ordered of scribe Charlemagne, I ask you to keep my stipend and if you see fit, it would do me the most honor if you added it to his budget. Many of the men under my command have spoken to me of your true intentions for him.”

That’s just not fair, that really isn’t. I started crying openly, doing my best to dry my tears, genuine compassion in this world! For the first time! Maybe I can do this after all.

Napoleon volunteered to take the role of the commanding officer in the room for the rest of the day. After shaking his hand and thanking him for restoring my faith in others I dismissed him from his duties for the rest of the day, sending him to the mess for the free food.

After that, a smattering of thoroughly unimpressive noblemen trying to show off fencing skills…

The ninth contestant was a human man, approximately 5’4 by my best guess, nearly naked wearing a white belt around his waist like underwear. It took me a while, but I finally got it. It seems, at some point sumo has come to this world through one of the Paladins. According to the ‘History of the Holy Paladins’ it was mostly on accident, ever since then, it has been a respected sport among all the races.

The man brought his own dummies; practicing on them I could sense his concentration. He was plump, but a lot of muscle was there as well. The one thing I know for sure about sumo is these guys were nearly impossible to knock off balance. The way he stood it was as if he was rooted to the spot.

He bowed, ending his training with some sort of ritualistic stretching. “I ask now that you give me as many opponents as you wish, in one on one combat, using whatever rules they like for their style, until you are satisfied I shall defeat them all.”

And so we did. Similar to Eisho, he knew the sword stopping technique, putting it to use in the sparring, showing me just how impressive that move was. After the sixth guard, Grimalkin looked like a pet just waiting for their treat. I smiled at him, holding my hand outward. The sumo looked up at him “Oh ho! One of the Paladin’s party members, I must best you if I wish to be your ally is it? I ACCEPT!”

Grimalkin stood as far back in the circle we’d made to simulate a sumo ring, ready to face him. But as soon as the referee had announced the start of the match, it was over in the blink of an eye. Grimalkin’s head connected with one of the man’s palms, he was rushed down in such a short quick burst of movement that he could not defend against. The man was now standing over him, lifting his hand up from the splayed Grimalkin outside of the ring.

After extending a hand to my ally, the sumo bowed again, introducing himself, “I am Kusanagi, taker of the one of the six names handed down according to the tradition of the old ways.”

Napoleon leaned over, clapping, whispering to me. “That means he’s one of the six best in the country. I wouldn’t underestimate him.”

Grimalkin, after regaining his balance, bowed back at Kusanagi, accepting his defeat with grace as the man added in. “I have never fought one of your kind before Sir Grimalkin, it was an honor.”

One of human the guards jumped up when Kusanagi referred to Grimalkin as ‘Sir’, taking offense at him referring to a beastman in such a way.

“SIR?! You just pummeled him into the ground?! He’s tra…”

Napoleon did not take too kindly to this, raising his hand and merely pointing at the man, every other guard in the room pointed their weapon at him until he sat back down. Satisfied; Napoleon lowered his hand, and they too, lowered their weapons.

While not exceedingly liberal, the military had a much different view on the non-human races. Adopting an opinion along the lines of, “If they’re good enough, we don’t care about race.”

The Merchants vehemently disagreed with every coin in their pocket. The church, meanwhile, until recently had adopted the same stance. However, the Speaker before Vansen had reinstated the Kobolds as official scribes of scripture. Any non-scribes however, were left to their own devices, getting no favor from the church.

As a result of these interests, only Humans and Kobolds were allowed to learn how to read and write the official language. The other races, when making signs or writing names, used a system not unlike hieroglyphs that many humans did not know how to read. It took a Kobold scribe that Napoleon recommended for me to make the fliers getting everyone here after all.

After the situation calmed down, the small sumo with curly hair, whose body was covered in scars bowed, and refused our silver, “Save your money, I only wish the honor of being of use to the Paladin. I have grown up living under the teaching of Paladin Jariya. Merely being part of that history will be gift enough.”

Again I am moved to tears of the powerful manliness on display, Grimalkin waving a towel over my face comedically. Grimalkin then could only shrug in disbelief as I looked over and see Napoleon, open-mouthed, bawling like a baby, clapping as grandly as he can.

Kusanagi went to the mess with the rest of the contenders. After that there was a large number of poor coming in, all trying to impress me for the silver prize; a determination in their eyes I had to respect.

I sent them off each with a silver, well enough to feed a whole family for a week, ordering the guards who stood against the outlier to protect them on their way home as honestly, none of them had been all that impressive. The honor of the Paladin was at stake, if anyone got hurt from my event I would be to blame would I not?

It’s all about how you phrase things with the upper class, make it a matter of your name and you could get away with anything. Even agreeing to let me do these auditions in the first place, which were just an excuse to hand out this silver to the poor souls who showed up with only their hope and an empty belly. Truthfully, I think emptying the mess out five times over on the Lord-Governors tab was a good use of my mid-week.

Just as we were about to close the doors for the day and pick from our four finalists, one more beastman walked through the door.

She’s 5’10 with a short, near rodent-like muzzle, the hair on the top of her head down the back of her shirt was white while the rest of her body was thick black fur, save a moon-shaped strip of white along her collarbone. Long whiskers on her face and a long, prehensile tail where the white from the back of her head shot back down its back. Her eyes were jet black and beady, yet there was nothing but curiosity in her movements.

She bowed, this time first telling us her name. “I am Themis, a xeshieen beastman.”

Quickly, I whispered, covering my mouth so she wouldn’t here. “Manual, what’s a xeshieen?”

Game type species: Xeshieen.

Drawing parallels: Processing… Processing… Processing… Completed.

Behavior and Abilities: Xeshieen is the largest marsupial on the continent. When young in life, they are stout and pudgy. As they age, their muscles harden and grow stronger. They are denoted by the large white spot stretching from between their eyes going down to the tip of their tail. They have the strongest bite strength of all non-magical animals. Their skin is thick enough that arrows bounce off of them more often than not. They are resilient and even one of them, when threatened, has been enough to cause an entire village to evacuate. Do not approach. While Xeshieen are only three feet long, they are not to be underestimated.

Possible comparison animals: Tasmanian Devil, Honey Badger, Opossum, American Badger

This is trouble, I’ve heard tale of a badger being able to take down a bear, a NORMAL one, what could a bear sized badger do? As she had been waiting only a couple seconds I raised my hand, signaling for her to begin.

She asked for two large trees with bark be brought in. Inch long claws became visible from under her long sleeves. The claws must have been as tough as iron as they easily clawed through the wood. Turning one into a makeshift Roman-style column and merely burrowing through the other. She laughed pridefully at the three of us all staring in amazement.

“Please, order your strongest guard in this room to strike me with the heaviest, sharpest blade you have.” I looked at her doubtfully, but the snarl she gave when I hesitated made me give the order, clearly she knew what she was doing.

A pachyderm-type beastman stood up, woolly like a mammoth but the fur was snow white. Taking the heavy blade off of the wall he stood, towering over Themis, “You know what you’re asking young lady?”

She smirked up, fangs showing, “Bring it!”

The Army-man brought down the blade with a mighty swing; I was more than sure it would have been able to cut through one of the stone walls. Yet, Themis barely moved. Quickly raising her left arm she blocked the blade with the back of her hand. The greatsword just wasn’t cutting in and she showed no sign of strain. With the strength to block this attack one-armed… she’s so intriguing!

I stood, clapping as loudly as I could. “You get the job!” If she could, I would have said the strong confident warrior would have blushed and smiled, still, she just turned away.

Soon after, everyone else who was impressed by her began clapping as well. Being most of the room; save the corner where the army-man had come from, clearly disheartened having such a powerful blow just batted away. “A round of applause for all of the guards we had here for the trials, being the sparring partners all day was rough; drinks are on the Lord-Governor tonight!”

Another roar of applause and tears in the room and my hand was shaken by every service-member there. I pull Themis over, handing her the hundred silver prize. “You’ve earned it, training starts tomorrow if you want to stay the night in the barracks go ahead. We’ll make you right at home, your family shall be taken care of while we are gone, you have my word as the Paladin.” I tried to show an air of confidence and power, but in comparison to the walking tank level things she had just shown, I doubt I could ever match up to her even if I am some legend.

She grabbed my hand as I gave her the pouch of money. “It seems the stories are true, I’ve talked to many who were asked to leave yet you still gave them money… You’re a weird one.”