My daughter is an oddity.

My daughter as much as I hate to admit is quite odd in every aspect possible.

She is both too smart and mature for someone still at the age of 4, it is as if she is much older than she initially looks.

Even Raiden & Rita has brought it to my notice over dozen times already that Lore is indeed an oddity among children of her age and...they’re not the only ones that have noticed that as well.

Everyone that has at least communicated with my daughter even for a short period of time would always mention to me how they feel something is completely off about her.

And I understand everything they have said, I truly do, after all, I’m her mother.

I’ve been watching her closely with an open mind and eyes since her very birth so I know her better than anyone or at least to a certain extent.

And based on my observation I have come to a certain absurd conclusion on to what’s wrong with her.

The answer that I have been avoiding the entire time.

That……My daughter might be a reincarnated person.

An Otherworlder to be exact.

A completely absurd conclusion to have, I know that. But still, everything about her all leads to the fact, that she is indeed a reincarnated person.

Everything about her from the way she talks, to how smart and cunning she is, and even her occasional derailment about the topic when asked all point toward the fact that she is indeed an ‘Otherworlder’ similar to those stories and tales from decades old.

And though I said this is an absurd conclusion I know for a fact that otherworlders and reincarnation are real.

Since Arthur’s death was caused by them.

My husband Arthur was a curious man that will stick his neck to everything that amused him even a bit slightly so it was no surprise to anyone when he had taken an interest in the topic concerning these so-called Otherworlders.

People that are said to come from another world through the power of the gods or magic.

Nothing is really known about them other than that most of them are sick freaks that once used their power to try to take over the world or so the story goes.

Honesty I merely see them as a cautionary tale for the longest of time, after all, no one had really proven their existence.

Other than old books and unreliable verbal accounts, nothing solid is really presented to prove their existence.

So yes for the longest time I didn’t really believe anything about them until I met Arthur that is.

He the so-called genius of the Crestfallen, who had actually taken the effort to uncover the truth about their existence.

But in the end, nothing really happened of his research, even after a year nothing came up.

Not a follow-up, Not an update, or even a warning.

Nothing.

It is as if he didn’t even try or know anything about it.

No one really knows what happened to his research until much later when someone finally brought it up and his answer that time definitely shocked most people that know him on a personal level.

It was during one of the celebrations in the capital when one of the royal family approached him and dropped that bombshell of a topic.

For a moment everyone was silent until Arthur broke the silence with a laugh saying, “Sorry to tell you but I dropped it, For I realized halfway point that it’s a stupid topic to even study..”

That simple answer struck a chord in my stomach, twisting it to the point that I want to vomit everything I have eaten.

After all, I know for a fact that Arthur wouldn’t say such a thing, I know he will not and I’m certain of that for even Raiden had a look of absolute confusion on his face hearing his answer.

So I’m sure that he is lying, something is certainly wrong.

I know that some might say that what Arthur said was just due to shame for the sheer stupidity of the subject but those that are close to him including myself, know full well that what he did is a bit out of character.

For the simple to reason that he was not the type to stop on a topic that he has picked no matter how pointless or stupid it might be.

I mean this was the man who put a bean sprout in a glass container for the sole reason of just wanting to watch it grow, in the end, he documented every detail about it in his logbook and even published it as a book.

Honestly, at that moment I realized that I have married a complete oddball of a man but I guess that’s what drew me into him in the first place…—Ehem! Anyways that is why we are certain that no matter what the result would be he would always stick with it till the very end, so for him to drop this particular topic for such a simple reason is just something that is waiting to be called out by everyone close to him.

But in the end, he didn’t budge even a bit about the topic, and every time he is asked about it he would merely brush us off by saying ‘he got bored of it’ and ‘it sounds stupid so I didn’t push any further’,

So after many unsuccessful attempts to pry his mouth open for the truth, everyone was ultimately forced to just leave him be as even Raiden himself the only person he trusts his life with is unable to get anything out of him.

And after a month or so that incident was finally laid to rest, the household resumed as normal with everyone having forgotten about the subject entirely.

Yes, it was quite normal….for some time that is.

Sometimes a few days after my pregnancy was announced to the family a sudden surge of assassination attempts has been directed to the Crestfallen.

No one knows who are these people and what are their goals were but for them to even think of picking a fight with one of the dangerous families in this kingdom means that this was no ordinary assassination attempt.

It was a declaration of war for whoever sent them and the skills of the perpetrators are a testament to that.

All of them are highly trained and efficient in their jobs, so skilled that in the first 2 weeks of their attempts 2 of our family members immediately succumb to their tactics: Arthur's sister Maria and Aunt Rena.

They were killed in one of their trips towards the capital as their carriage was blown up into smithereens.

It seems that the coachman who was tasked with bringing them to the capital has been bought by money and entirely betrayed the household.

Though in the end, his betrayal was entirely useless as he was also found dead along with his whole family a few hours later, leaving us with no leads as to who is really behind these attacks.

Everyone at that time upon hearing the news of their death was livid of rage to the point that some considered doing a widespread search to hunt these monsters down.

But knowing absolutely nothing of our enemy we are instead forced to seclude ourselves away from the masses.

Both to avoid the high chance of being the next one and to involve more civilians in the process.

The following weeks after our inevitable seclusion was one of the most stressful moments I have experienced in my life and something I honestly would want just wiped off from my memory.

As I don’t just have to keep my health in mind since I was pregnant but my life as well for we do not know when or where will we be attacked.

Though Raiden’s presence made it more bearable we still couldn't afford to be lax for the enemy seemed to be hell-bent on its goal of wiping us off.

And seeing we are actually slowly being pushed into a corner we tried asking for help from nearby families and domains but in the end, no one responded to our call for help and those who did just got dragged into our mess and had their life taken away shortly.

After that, it didn’t take any longer for everyone to start distancing themselves away from us in an effort to not be the one next to be dragged into this mess.

And I can’t blame them for that.

Now left with no choice at our disposal we finally let go of our pride and ask for the help of the royal family consisting of the proud lion clan, The Stolts.

As much as we hate dealing with them we have no choice at the time but to beg for their help for the Crestfallen survival was at stake.

And hearing our current predicament at the capital they suspiciously didn’t really make much fuss about it, quite an unexpected reaction considering there is evident bad blood between the royal family and the Crestfallen.

After one of the founders of the Crestfallen stated that they do not serve the Stolts but serve the Mostro Kingdom instead insinuating that will there ever be a time that they try to step out of line then they will be the one to put them back.

Quite a cool statement at that time but looking back now I’m actually surprised we didn’t get wiped out of this planet in that instance.

That is why we are a bit hesitant about the quick agreement we have received but knowing this is our last option we reluctantly accept it to ensure our survival.

And after some more meetings and such, the news was finally broken out and of course, everyone had smiles of relief painted on their faces for the new hope we got, yes everyone was relieved….except Arthur.

Arthur was always have been the last one to be affected by stress and pressure so for me to see him be the one that is most affected by it to the point that he was unable to sleep is a worrying sight that is stressing me for days to no end as well.

And if that is not just enough he was also turning extremely paranoid and apologetic for ‘something’, always mumbling that it was ‘his’ fault that these things are happening that if he didn’t try ‘it’ this wouldn’t have happened.

He would mumble apologies after apologies like that for hours to no end in his sleep to the point that even I myself couldn’t get a wink, for every time it began the only thing I could do to make him stop was to shake him awake.

For the first few weeks, I could handle it just fine but days after days as we slowly get weeded out to the point that we could count the remaining individuals with our 2 hands, I finally snapped.

‘I couldn’t handle this anymore’ I told myself as I barged inside his office that is now my daughters’ room.

I confronted him about everything, from what he was hiding to what does he know about our situation.

I yelled and begged him to just tell me what is wrong and to let me in his pain that he was so desperately hiding from everyone.

But still, even after everything I have said he was still stubborn as a mule.

Stubborn to the point that he took his secret down to his grave leaving nothing behind but a question.

I was confused, I was sad, I didn’t know what to do, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do, I was the only one left.

I don’t have any talents nor am I that smart, I’m not courageous also, So what am I even supposed to do?

I'm beyond my lowest point at that time and ready to leave this life along with Lore just to meet with my husband again in the afterlife.

That way, we could still continue our dream to be a happy family.

Everyone would probably hate me but what more could I do?

I have already lost everyone in my life with only a few ones left, So is it really worth continuing even with all this pain and suffering?

I always told myself it is, that it would be fine but…...is it really though?

‘It’s probably not.’

That was my last thought before I jumped out of the balcony to join everyone.

But—my plan didn’t work.

I was still alive.

Opening my eyes I was surprised to see that my body appears to be stuck in the air, No, more precisely I was being held by the waist from free falling.

I can only grit my teeth in frustration at that time for I know who was it that saved me.

It was my maid Rita, she somehow managed to jump from the doorway of my room towards me who had just jumped, simultaneously grabbing the ledge with both her hand and my body with her tail.

I kept my silence for the entire day after that even with all the concerned voices and plead around my head, for I don’t have it in me anymore to say anything.

I’ve given up.

A few more hours passed as everything calmed down. My final visitor for today entered my room.

Sitting upright in my bed the figure that have entered my room slowly approached me from my right.

I couldn’t see it, the person who had just entered for my eyes was fixated unto my window and towards the outside.

Reaching my bedside the person slowly grabbed a small chair nearby and took a seat.

Silence soon followed.

Or more so that’s what I’m hearing.

But I know the person was talking behind me but for some reason, I couldn’t understand anything, it was as if every sound my ears were receiving was turning to incomprehensible noise.

Whether it’s because I don’t really want to hear anything or something else entirely is something I do not know.

But there is something I do know and it’s the person's voice, even though it’s not clear enough I’m still fairly certain who that voice belongs to.

“Raiden?” I asked softly as confirmation and in which he responded with a defeated yes.

It is Raiden. Arthur’s personal butler and the Luminary of the Blade.

The strongest and most prominent figure in the kingdom.

I haven’t really talked or met with him after that incident for I couldn't face him and nor could he face me.

As we both feel guilty, Raiden for being out of commission during the attack and Me for being useless to save Arthur myself.

I don’t really blame him for what had happened since he was not there, to begin with, he left in the morning and towards the capital after receiving a distress call for a monster rampaging.

While it’s true that he left his position as a Luminary for quite some time, he was still nonetheless an asset that this kingdom can’t just afford to not use.

So the only thing that had really changed when he left his position was freedom of choice where he could freely choose whether to accept the call for help from the kingdom.

That is why he must have felt the most guilt among all of us for he could just have not accepted that distress call and stayed with Arthur instead for that way the Crestfallen could have not fallen.

While yes a hundred civilians might get killed for that decision but in his eyes, it’s probably better to save someone he personally knew instead of someone he hasn’t even seen before.

But still, no one could fault him for that unlike me who was useless in that entire incident.

I was useless, I couldn’t do anything but just be a burden towards everyone around me.

I couldn’t save him because I was weak, so weak that he was the one that ended up saving me.

Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic—Pathetic!

I wasn’t able to do anything, pathetic.

Slowly crumpling up my bedsheet my vision began to get blurry as tears welled up in both my eyes.

My breath hitched and hiccuped as I started to weep continuously and before I knew it Raiden has now approached me from my left with a handkerchief in hand.

Looking up to him I was surprised to see his lips quivered along with his eyelid.

His eyes have a small patch of black circles under them and just to its sides are visible tear marks that have dried, his hair is a mess as well similar to his face.

“T-thanks….” I muttered as I awkwardly accept the cloth on his hand.

Taking the cloth I started to softly wipe my mess of a face and after a minute of silence finally managed to gather up the courage to face him.

“Did you need something from me?” I asked in a stiff tone and to my surprise, he didn’t say anything again but just nodded.

Being caught off guard I brushed it off as just because he was grieving as well so I asked yet again, this time in a softer tone.

“What is it that you need?”

“It’s….just about Arthur… There is something I have to tell you.”

Hearing my husband's name my body naturally tensed up and follow up with there is something he had to tell me my body started to grow cold out of fear.

And seeing my natural reaction Raiden quickly ran to my side to comfort me but stop entirely as I brushed him saying. “W-what do you know?”

Hearing my answer he reluctantly returns to his seat that is on my right.

“It’s about this… his secret, I promised him to not tell you but I think it would be for the better if you know.”

Bringing something out of his vest my mouth went agape as I recognized the thing he had just taken out.

It was my husband's diary, a missing diary.

I do not know where it went after his death but now I know, Raiden hid it from us under Arthur’s command.

“Please keep your eyes and ear peeled, Sara, please if there is someone that needs to know and understand then it’s you.”

Laying the brown worn book on the bed he started to tell his story about what had really driven Arthur to near insanity and the reason we have been attacked so suddenly.

Everything, from start to finish.

From Arthur’s and Raiden’s studies of Otherworlders to their groundbreaking conclusion of other worlds being real and finally to the church finding out about what they had tried and done.

How first they were ecstatic about how Arthur managed to prove that it was all real and even moved on into trying to find out how to make a bridge between the worlds but slowly as they continued on with their research the enjoyment they have for the project started to diminish as the research slowly led them to the church and their disgusting ways.

On how they kill and torture every Otherworlders they found for they want the power they hold that is crossing dimensions and worlds for themselves and offer it as a tribute for their god Nep but ultimately all of them failed for no one really knows how does one cross worlds.

So after finding out the reality and severity of the knowledge they now possess, Arthur decided that it’s best that such a thing is forgotten and left for it would only bring chaos and misfortune to anyone who gets ahold of it.

But——they were too late the church has caught wind of what they know and decided that the only to ensure that such knowledge is not leaked is to incinerate the whole Crestfallen bloodline.

In which they have succeeded even with the backup from the capital and some more guards we have hired, all of the Crestfallen have perished within a night leaving only me behind with Lore inside of at the time.

I understand everything now and I started hating myself even more because of it.

For how could I be so blind to their pain, to Arthur who was slowly destroying himself due to the guilt of letting his curiosity break his family and Raiden with his will eroding for failing to protect what he had stood for all these years.

So knowing all these things now I couldn’t stop but hate myself for how disgusting I am, thinking it would be fine to end all of this just because I lose most of my loves leaving the few left behind with more pain.

I am beyond disgusting——but I understand now that I have to continue living not just for those who are left but those that have died as well.

It has been over 4 years since that tragedy and their attempts on finishing the job once and for all seem to have stopped for some reason but still, that doesn’t mean we are done yet.

I for one am not done with them yet.

For I plan to take my revenge on them for taking everything from me.

The culprit of that damn attack being that damn Church full of lunatics and the accomplices that have taken their side being the royal family.

All of them will receive my revenge in one way or another.

I will bring the justice this family deserved.

—And that is the main reason why I’m hesitant to reveal about Lore’s existence in the world for one wrong move and she might be taken away from me just like her father.

But alas she is indefinitely following in his father’s footstep on her own way.

Even possibly being one of the Otherworlders her father has researched about.

And as much as I try to stop her I know full well that I would only monetarily be blocking her path before she also just pass me by and continue on.

Whether this is fate that is pulling the string or something greater is something I can’t really stop now.

All I could do really is just support her from the side as her mother.

After all, whether she is a reincarnated person or not she is still my daughter nonetheless.

But I know I can’t protect her all the time—no one can, so this is a choice I have to make to ensure that she will be fine even by herself.

A heavy choice but a choice that I know will aid her greatly for her future endeavor.

I just hope she wouldn’t hate me for it.

No—even if she did I still wouldn’t back down on this choice.

I’m sorry Lore, I hope you will forgive me—But I will have to make a selfish choice just one last time.

I swear I will protect you.

“Studying again Miss Lore?”

“Yeah so keep quiet on the side for a while will you.”

“Well...if you say so.”

Taking a seat by my right Suru watched silently as I wrote down notes about my studies concerning the magic in this world.

I just have about one more year left till my body is finally allowed to wield the elements so utmost preparations are a must and deciding what path of training I will partake the top priority.

But still, I didn’t really have the time to choose whether I should be an Animist or an Invoker since I have been too caught up with the domain problems and my personal problems.

But now that everything is clear I can finally focus on this with all my might.

So for the first impending question: What type of magic user should I be?

This question was by far the hardest for it would be the starting point of my journey and finally, after a long while of thinking I finally come to the conclusion that I would pick the Animist route.

Might be harder to master but the speed and versatility of Animist users offer is something I rather much have than the raw power of Invokers.

For disadvantage in power could be just dealt with tactics and strategy so I shouldn’t concern myself on that aspect.

Now that’s one question down.

Now to the second one what element should I train myself in?

Right now I only have two elements at my disposal to be used being Wind and Earth both are extremely great but with their own faults as well.

Blessing of Earth for example was used more defensively and on supporting roles for it basically just the ability to wield rocks.

Some might say that being able to wield the earth at will is a powerful tool and yes I too think so….until I read more about it.

As after some digging concerning the earth element, I learned that it is the hardest to master among all of the elements leading to it being almost unusable due to how high the skill-cap is for it and how hard it is to wield efficiently as well.

So not only was it hard to learn but even harder to master as well which lead to it being the most undesirable element to learn.

Good grief, talk about such a strong irony for the element that represents the unrelenting will in one’s heart to be such a hard element to master that it needs a will made of the strongest steel just to be at least proficient about it.

Guess life does indeed possess humor in some way.

Well, I guess that just leaves me with the Blessing Wind, the second easiest element to learn just after the Blessing of Fire.

Not flashy like the Blessing Fire and Water nor does it reconstruct terrain like the Blessing of Earth but instead rely on silence and pinpoint accuracy to take out enemies.

It seems that this element fell on the category of easy to learn but hard to master so I guess I have to start reading up about it as soon as possible or else I might hit a ceiling rather quickly.

Now, finally the last is how do I learn magic and who do I learn from, I planned to ask Raiden but knowing how packed his schedule is already I just decided to not bother him with something like this.

Same as mother and Rita, all of them are busy with things concerning the domain so don’t really want to put more problems in their hands.

So... I guess I’m left with just her.

Still sitting beside me Suru cocked her head sideways confused as to why I’m now staring at her.

If I remember correctly the wolf of the Grades knows how to use both the element of Wind and Earth as well, similar to the elements I hold right now so I think she can teach me about the basics of casting spells and preferably more.

Seeing her slowly becoming uncomfortable in her seat I decided to finally break the silence by asking her.

“Hey, will you teach me how to use magic?”

“Eh? Me?” She asked while pointing at herself seemingly dumbfounded by my question.

“Have your eyes and ears started to rot that you can’t even understand such a basic question?”

“How mean! I’m just caught off guard by how unexpected your request is.”

“Yeah, yeah so do you accept my request?”

Brushing off her fake tears and dramatic poses over my insult she sighs in amusement before leaving her chair and walking closer to me.

“Miss Lore of course I accept your request, after all, I’m your maid right now so don’t be shy to use me at your own discretion.”

She announced in a bow along with a sly smile painted on her face.

Seeing her determination in her answer I let out a chuckle before retorting back with an amused look.

“Well be ready then since I’m gonna work you to the bone.”

And with that my studies concerning the magic system of this world finally started.

For our first week in this journey of learning magic, we really didn’t do much other than learning the fundamentals down to the last detail.

And I learned that the reason my first spell initially failed is that I didn’t bring out the mana needed for the spell from somewhere and merely cast without much thought put into it.

I don’t really understand it at first but after a while, it finally clicked on me. That when casting a spell one should always keep in mind where and how much mana you would use for the spell.

This definitely sounds easy at first but it is far from that, for how could you manipulate something; 1. You cannot see or touch 2. Something you do not know what looks like or even where it is and 3. How could you even measure it when you do not what it is.

Those questions boggled my mind for a long, long while for how complicated it is but after thinking over it for so many days and so many weeks I finally understand it, a bit I think.

Well overthinking about will not really lead to anywhere so it’s best to do some on-hand practice myself, Suru warned me that I shouldn’t try it for it was dangerous since they do not know what would happen and I might combust if I did a slight mishap.

But in the end, no one knows for no one had really tried and I could fully understand why for how complicated it was.

So with a mindset that I might combust and I might not combust I decided to take my chances.

I already wrote a note for my mother if I ever combust so all that’s left is to try it myself.

Taking a deep breath I locked the door of my room and step forward in the middle of the room where a stack of paper is placed.

My goal right now is quite simple and that is to create a gust of wind strong enough to at least blow some of the papers on that stack.

Even one paper is enough so this should be simple.

I just have to put faith in my luck that I have relied on since back in the day.

Taking one deep breath I stretched my hand forward pointing at the stack.

The first thing I have to do as an Animist is to draw the mana that exists around me into my gate and towards the palm of my hand.

The hard part of this step is drawing something I can not see, hear or feel so for me to do this I have to be aware of something that is not there.

I’m really confused at first but there was something I remembered in one of the books I have read about the elves.

If I remember correctly it said that the elven race can somehow see the flow of mana that exists in the surrounding, all of them seem to be capable of doing it so I guess it’s an innate ability.

But still, that’s the only lead I found so better than nothing.

So basically I just have to sense the mana without the use of my 5 senses.

Complicated but I can do it just have to shut off all my senses, forcefully if needed.

I managed to get around my main senses being Hearing and Sight with first a simple earplug made of cotton and cloth and for the eyes, I just wrapped a thick black cloth around my head to cover it.

I also locked every door and window in this room to avoid unnecessary disturbance even going as far as closing the blinds and covering the crevices of the door with pillows and books to block any noise indefinitely.

Now for the second step is the spell to use and how I’m gonna cast it, most Animists would focus on voiceless incantation but still a beginner it seems that I have to try voicing my incantation for now.

So for my first spell, I choose a relatively simple one that requires small mana and skill but is still relatively powerful when pumped with enough mana.

It’s the most common wind base attack just after Aerial Blade named Wind Bolt.

A spell that basically lets the user release small to large bolts of air depending on how much the mana is used towards a certain direction.

So with a spell in mind and everything set and ready, I’m finally ready for the third step and that is actually doing it.

First and foremost I have begun to empty my mind and shut my senses off in an effort to somehow feel the mana in my surroundings.

Slowly emptying my mind from everything and anything my consciousness slowly flickered and dimmed as I tried stretching my mind into such a thin layer of consciousness that is slowly being drowned by the surrounding or the lack of surrounding in this case.

Everything seem to be too noisy and fuzzy, I could not hear or feel anything, Well I could technically feel the ground but other than that there is nothing.

It’s honestly a disorienting feeling to have and is taking all my mental strength to not just fall down and vomit as my stomach turned and churns.

But….this must be why it was hard to learn for you to have to throw your consciousness in the middle of a seemingly endless abyss and hope it will somehow come back.

But honestly, I haven’t even thrown myself yet but just dipped a foot in and I’m already a mess.

‘Good grief, I wonder if I would be fine.’

Continuing my concentration for a while my mind that is inside an unending blackness was slowly filled by something fuzzy? Not it’s more like noisy and annoying?

I don’t understand it.

This feeling—No I’m not even sure if I’m actually feeling something for my senses should be almost numb from the lack of information but the longer I stay like this—stretching my consciousness into my surrounding—the more I feel that invisible force swirl around me.

I guess A little bit more push and I could probably see the mana that exists in the air that is basically not visible to the naked eye.

This thing exists but due to how it’s basically an invisible force similar to the air we breathe there is honestly no way of actually seeing it other when we use magic but if we somehow throw our senses away for a little bit then maybe we can actually see it.

It might sound stupid but I’m willing to try.

I mean that’s the only lead I have and I’m already this far enough so better to see it through the end.

Now empty my mind more and focus on my concentration.

Concentrate, concentrate, concentrate…………...let your body be one with your surrounding.

Feel nothing and Feel everything at the same time.

See nothing yet See everything at the same time.

And Hear nothing yet Hear everything at the same time.

Silently as I stood there for what I think is an hour or so…...and slowly I could see something?

Huh, strange my eyes are still closed though and I didn’t hear anyone that has opened the door all of the servants seem to just past my room so—!

I can hear.

What?

Confusion took over me as something entered both my ears and into my mind telling me that multiple maids has passed by my room walking with papers in their hands, I could also hear what seems to be the chirping of birds from outside my window that is closed.

What is happening?

Wavering a bit from my concentration I took a slow breath to maintain what I’m receiving and sure enough I could slowly see bit by bit albeit foggy and unclear I could still see.

The first thing I could see was the stack of paper in front along with my hand that I have stretched out, next was my messy desk next to my window filled with books and paper from my studies, and finally, my whole room filled with something that shouldn’t be there.

A white fog that sways and turns similar to those waves found at the sea but more carefree as it moves in all directions from left to right to up and down, it dances around my room like a flock of birds in the sky.

It was honestly a breathtaking sight.

But this must be the mana that exists in our surroundings.

To think that mana would look so mundane as a white fog but still remained mysterious and beautiful.

I guess that’s what you called beautiful by default.

Watching the dancing white fog in complete awe, I have completely forgotten what I have to do in the first and just wasted my time watching how the mana moves.

In the end, I had to postpone my test with no time left as I felt Suru’s presence outside my room.

Damn it, I was too captivated by that damn fog.

But still, even though I failed to cast a spell this around I have found something even better.

And that is the innate ability to see the mana present in my surroundings though I now know that this ability is in fact not innate but acquired.

The elves probably have still had the innate ability but that is not to say it can’t be acquired by other races.

Now all that’s left is to immerse myself more in this world of blankness and I’m sure I should be able to cast a spell soon and probably use this mana detecting ability to its fullest extent.

Fufufu~ Now, things are getting exhilarating.

The next day has come and I was once again left alone inside my bedroom with a few hours to spare.

I don’t really know what seems to be the reason for Suru’s absence during afternoons but it’s probably related to staff being so scarce.

Though whatever the reason is, in the end, it worked in my favor for I can once again practice that mana sensing ability.

At the moment my goal has changed entirely as before I wanted to cast a spell, Now I want to find the extent of this mana-sensing ability.

For it could probably serve some good use if mastered to the fullest.

So with the limited time I have, I quickly set everything up from the blinds to the door, covering everything that will cause a distraction, and after everything is set I once again sat in the middle of the room in total silence and darkness.

Now concentrate again.

Breathe in, Breathe out.

Empty to your mind and be one with your surroundings.

Breath in, Breathe out…

………

Soon after sitting in total silence for a solid hour or so, the mana in my surroundings has begun to be visible.

And swirling yet again in this dark quiet room is the luminescence white fog.

It sways from corner to corner before again returning in the middle of the room, just above my head.

I still haven’t opened my eyes and unplugged my ear just yet, but I can still somehow make out what my whole surrounding looks like and even feel and hear what is happening outside my room.

This is definitely one of the most disorienting feelings I have ever gotten in my whole life. Like it feels like my body doesn’t exist yet I know full well that it is still there.

The only thing I could actually compare this feeling to is if I could somehow leave my body for a significant amount of time to survey my surroundings but instead of having limited vision I can see and hear everything that is near all at the same time.

But the images and information my brain is receiving seem a bit fuzzy and smudge, this ability’s range is limited as well, just extending a few meters outside my room and outside my window.

Hmmm…. What should I do about this..?

Would be nice if I could expand the range to a decent radius and also have a more vivid look at my surroundings.

Since a detecting ability is not a detecting ability when it couldn’t even show you what you were detecting clearly.

Another thing I have to work around as well, is my concentration, for it takes too long for me to enter this world of blankness.

Making this ability practically useless for I doubt the enemy or anyone for that matter would wait for an hour or so just for me to deploy this thing.

And it’s not even good but just a glorified puppet show with the cast being smoke instead of marionettes.

But I guess I have plenty of time to deal with these flaws so better to take it slow and steady.

Don’t really want to have a half-ass ability due to impatience.

Now with those goals now in my mind, I exited the world of blankness and returned back to the real world.

I removed my blindfold and earplugs before returning everything back to its original place before Suru came back.

Oh….another flaw I have dealt with is to find a way to concentrate and enter that world without the need for all this prep.

I mean it’s tiresome to do this every time.

Good grief this is really turning to be quite bothersome—but I would be lying if I say I don’t enjoy it.

A week has passed since I was able to somewhat detect mana, the images and information I’m receiving are still far from vivid but I have made significant results on the concentration side of things.

For before it takes about 2 hours to enter the world of blankness now I can somewhat do it in just half an hour.

I’m really proud of myself but still expected results for I tried entering the world of blankness every time I have the chance.

When I’m in the bath, eating, writing, reading, and even before sleeping.

Every time there is a window of opportunity to try then I will try and of course without blindfold and earplugs just so I could force myself to do it even with disturbance in my surroundings.

Honestly, it’s just impossible for me at first but the more I try the easier it gets.

Practice truly makes things perfect.

I guess I just have to keep up this pace and maybe I could soon deploy it at will.

Would still need to do something about the things I’m receiving, it all still is smudgy and unclear.

But I’ll probably get there just have to keep this up.

Now let’s continue on concentrating.

Another week has passed.

And now I can now deploy this ability at my own will but……everything is still muddy and unclear.

I have managed to clear one of the problems being the casting time but it seems that my progress on the detecting part hasn’t improved at all.

While yes the hearing part of the ability seems to be at a decent level to where I could hear every slight noise and disturbance around me but the feeling and seeing part hasn’t changed at all.

Same for the range as well it hasn’t even shown any slight bit of change even after weeks of using it.

Hmm…… How do I deal with these 3—No I should focus on one thing first among all of my problems.

Since trying to juggle everything at the same time would ultimately lead to an inevitable fall.

Best to focus on one flaw at a time especially these kinds of flaws where one wrong move and my progress might meet a standstill.

Hmmm…. I guess I should focus on my feeling part first since it doesn’t rely on sight but more on the action a being has taken.

It can also give me insight into how I should tackle the problem with my sight.

Then—it’s settled I’m going to focus on how to feel and see my surroundings without the use of eyes and touch.

Though I say that, but where do I even begin?

Guess I’m going to hit the books for now and ask Suru what she knows about this topic.

Though even without any guide I have already made a hypothesis in my mind as to what I should do, I merely need more supporting evidence for my claim before I try it, and also I might learn something new or remember something I have forgotten.

In any case, before I start training some more I need to do some mild research first as to what is this ability really about.

Since I honestly just skimmed through it at first since I thought it would fail but now that it is proven to be usable I have to delve into the uses and power of this ability.

Guess I’ll be swimming in words for a long while.

But can’t really complain since I know this will all be necessary for the future that is to come.

For I know quite well that one’s complacency and slothfulness tend to result in tragedy.

And I have enough of such things.

So this time I swear I’m not going to lose anyone.

I swear it.