The Bad ‘A’ Hospital was cursed again today and once again it was in retaliation for lifting curses. In an innovative move a group of six witches annoyed with the hospital for lifting curses they’d placed on various victims over the past year, got together and placed a blanket curse against the building and all who entered.

Since midnight the hospital entrance doors have been making very loud farting noises whenever they were opened. The staff have been unable to use the word ‘lift’ with its walls, or the phrase ‘what is the problem’ or ‘hold still’.

Security personnel have also taken to floating around the corridors chasing butterflies rather than maintaining order.

Randy Vert, head of the hospital has reminded the witches that the institution has a dispensation to lift the curses, for any victims that manage to get through their doors.

The witches maintain that when a curse is dispensed it should not be removed so arbitrarily.

After a long argument the witches have acknowledged the right of the hospital to lift curses but they were still reluctant to lift the blanket curse. A long round of bargaining has followed and it has been agreed that the blanket curse will be lifted in three days and the hospital will not lift any curses within its walls until afterwards.

The witches consider this temporary deal a substantial victory over the hospitals licence to relieve curses, which has long been contested.

The hospital state that they have conceded nothing with regards to their licence, but have merely been magnanimous in their understanding of the witches’ frustration. They point out that one day, one of the witches may be cursed and in need of their help, and this is why they have the license in the first place.

This is backed up by the Master Coven and other shadow authorities.