We are aware at Dark Times that most readers will not appreciate the Christmas experience, especially over Christmas Eve and Day with all that good cheer ricocheting around.

But it can be the best time of year to feast for our darkest patrons, that live off the suffering of others. For shades, malevolent ghosts and others, it is often the main fattening month of the year.

In this article we will be giving tips on how to maximize this precious opportunity. Even with a general decrease in suffering in the world at large it is ever more important to increase the little misery we can get.

Tip one's is to induce heartache. Taking advantage of the enforced closeness of everyone over Christmas by using mental suggestion you can slowly change the mind of an individual in a relationship into hating others around them. This can lead to a break up. Christmas day is the best day to succeed as then that will double the likelihood of long-term misery. They will feel bad, those around them will feel bad and the memory will last longer and maybe even years as they are reminded each time the holiday comes around again.

This heartache can be exponentially increased if you can manage to cause the passing or "accident" of a family member. Our expert Dr.Huge from the University of Oxford, informs us that, "Humans are extremely emotional and will often unconsciously remember past distress when triggered by the environment such as place, weather, temperature or repeated actions.

We however recommend that you avoid this action unless you are sure of success and can do it without raising suspicion. Readers should use their discretion when attempting to ruin someone else's life.

Tip Two: This one does not have such a direct effect on your targets but makes up for it with an overall background increase in general. We are fairly sure that everyone reading this is aware of a company called Amazon. This has a large workforce with many suitably suggestable individuals that work the night shifts. For those less in the know Amazon is similar to Nozama which delivers speciality and necessary items to those who can't travel.

If suggestibility is not possible for you then perhaps if you live close by you could apply. Once you have infiltrated sabotage can be carried out on their conveyor belt, automatic collector, delivery trucks, electronics and website. For in house misery, the cafeteria’s food can be spiked.

The effect on the breakdown of any or all of these would be apocalyptic. Those who wish to buy their gifts online won't be able to, or it will be late arriving or will not arrive at all, leading to frustration, worry or disappointment. In turn the customer will have to get up leave their homes and shop for gifts in town. This will in turn will cause massive queues in their local shops, increasing yet again the stress, irritation and anger.

Now if you have the foresight you should think about Black Friday and its attendant days, Thanksgiving and Cyber Monday. If you can accurately manage the Amazon mishaps you can cause total chaos as crazy people become angry at websites and then rush to the town to get in on the not so amazing deals. This might hopefully lead to riots, and injuries of your targets.

Tip three: As everyone know the legendary Santa Clause likes to bring gifts for all the good little girls and boys. To the best of our ability, we as a collective have been doing our absolute best to put a dent into his huge goodness and tie all his little helpers in knots around the world.

We have managed to put a coal touched smear on the great one, by retrieving his gifts and substituting coal for the good children. This will lead to disappointment for the sweet children which will in turn lead to a dis-belief in his existence which reduces the ‘Christmas spirit’ for the future. Meanwhile the gifts should be given to the bad children as rewards.

The tears and wails of disappointment will be heard for miles. The confused parents will be so stressed. Sweet misery.

Tip four: Christmas food. The day is all about feasting and playing games, opening presents and of course you can easily ruin it by messing with the food by giving everyone food poisoning. Or making the extremely stressed out chef of the house drop the food. A bit of arson for that special tree might be an idea, and of course the presents beneath it.

Tip five: For those with a particular dislike of children one of the simplest ways to torture them is to have them wake too early on Christmas day, knowing that they must wait hours and hours to open their presents. A very simple but worthwhile frustration as they torture themselves with bored excitement.

by Starfury

Disclaimer: These ideas are not meant for human use; they can only be used by certified dark creature.