Merrick was lost. Lost in thought. Lost in joy. Lost in her. Her eyes held him. Blue, they were so perfectly blue. So perfect. Words couldn’t describe them, couldn’t hold their majesty. Oh, he had tried of course, foolishly thinking to capture their essence with mere sounds. He had compared them to the sky and the sea and countless other things, writing poems and songs that would surely make even a skilled bard weep. But no sooner would he look into those eyes again then realize that all his flowery prattle held not an ounce of their meaning, not an ounce of their glory. For nothing, nothing he could compose even glimpsed what he felt in this moment. This moment of absolute serenity as he floated within their twin depths. Caught he was, so perfectly. For when he gazed into those eyes, those oceans of blue, the world collapsed all around him and yet…and yet he was left with everything.

Slowly, he noticed wetness where before there had been none: first, a bare film of water and then a line, as if a clear crescent moon rested beneath a sapphire sun. Then too much, too much to hold, and a teardrop slipped from the middle of her eye, over her lashes, caressing her cheek and the corner of her lips before dying out along her jaw.

“Elony?” he said. “What’s wrong?”

She blinked, looking at the straw floor and back at him. More tears fell, each leaving a watery trail with their passing. Her eyes were red now, red and wet, but the blue still shone through like a beacon, and he smiled.

“You!” she snapped. “How can you smile? How can you be happy…” Her words trailed off as she looked past him, her chin held too high, as if fighting the tears that flowed down her face. Now she only whispered. “How can you smile?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just…” He searched for an explanation. “You make me happy, even when it’s like this.”

Elony turned to meet his gaze. Liquid gems dotted her cheeks, and those eyes, those eyes questioned him.

In answer, he reached out, gently touching her face. Her skin wasn’t rough or grey like that of a true Islander. Instead, it was smooth, black mixed white, just like his. Gently, he trailed his fingers along her cheeks and chin, plucking tears from their surface. With a sigh, Elony closed her eyes and placed the weight of her head into the heart of his palm. Her tightly curled hair tickled his hand. Her locks were almost as unique as her eyes--another gift of her Islander heritage--and he reveled in touching them. She seemed so delicate. So precious.

He leaned into her, stroking her face with his thumb, closing his eyes, meeting his lips with hers, and then…she was his world.

The kiss lasted a moment. The kiss lasted forever. They parted, eyes still closed, noses almost touching, feeling the warmth of each other’s breath on their skin. He wanted it to stay this way. He wanted it so very much.

“You’re really going to go, aren’t you?” Her voice was small, yet the question seemed to echo through the hayloft. Hanging. Waiting.

He opened his eyes. Elony was staring at him, her tears gone, but the sadness remained. The sadness and the question--a question that had only one answer. Her eyes gave him strength, and he denied it. “Only for a time.” His smile faltered as he tried to sound reassuring. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

For a moment, he dared to believe that his words had given her hope. A smile ghosted across her face, and she was so beautiful, but then, just as swiftly, she shattered. A sound escaped her, half laugh, half sob, dead and empty. Elony shook her head, sending her black tresses waving. “My dreams don’t count, Mer. They’re not enough…not anymore.”

He didn’t have to ask what she meant. It had always been there, in the back of his mind, hidden and yet not. Like a form barely visible over the horizon. Slowly it had killed him every day. It had killed them both. And now it was here. It was here, and he couldn’t believe it. Always, it had seemed so far away. Something that would come later. Not now. Never now.

Elony’s gaze flicked to his. “How much longer?”

So it had started. Her ritual. It helped her somehow, calmed her. As if repetition could make anything bearable. He hated it but couldn’t deny her, especially not tonight. He looked into the blue, and the answer came unwanted. “Two days until the Festival.”

She nodded. “And when will you leave?”

His heart pounded, but he didn’t pause. “The morning after. Sunrise.”

“And will you come to me again before they come for you?”

He turned, unable to face her. Don’t make me say this. Please don’t make me say this. The silence stretched, thin about to break. Always before he had been able to say yes, emphatically yes.

“You know that I cannot,” he finally said, forcing the words out, his chest balled in pain. Everything felt wrong.

Elony didn’t respond. Hay crunched as she shifted her sitting weight, and he glanced back at her, only to find the blue accusing him.

“Why?”

He lowered his gaze. Must they go through this again? “You know why.”

“Why?”

She isn’t listening.

“Because my father is holding a feast, and a house gathering, and a ceremony, and another feast, and I must be in attendance to them all.”

“Oh, must you?” There was an edge to her voice.

“You know that I must.”

“And what a celebration it will be,” she said. “I’m sure there will be the finest food and drink and entertainment.”

“I’m sure my father will spare no expense.” Why was she talking about this? This isn’t how he wanted to spend his last moments with her. “And all the while I’ll be thinking of you.” He reached out, but she stood, spinning away from him.

“And oh, the dancing.”

He stared at her in amazement. She was dancing in a hayloft.

Elony stopped suddenly, looking at him with an arched brow. “I’m sure your brothers will dance, especially Derrick. You say he likes to.”

Tears, to anger, to dancing, to his brothers? His mind worked through it, but he couldn’t manage to follow. “So?”

“So, if Derrick dances, I’m sure you won’t want to be left out. I do hope you find a pretty girl to partner with. We wouldn’t want him outdoing you, now would we?”

So that was it, that was what concerned her. Him dancing with another girl. She was his sun, his moon, his stars. She was the very air he breathed. Without her, he ceased to exist, yet she worried over dancing? He could almost laugh.

“You truly think that I would dance with another girl, just to beat Derrick?”

Elony planted her hands on her hips. “Wouldn’t you?”

He couldn’t believe he was talking about this. “Elly, even if I did dance with another girl it’s not like I would enjoy it. Not while my heart is here with--”

She cut him off with a glare. “With me, yes, I know. And how nice for me, to be in your thoughts, while you dance with those frilly little noble girls, and listen to their chirping little laughs, and do Silver knows what else with them.”

“Elony,” he said carefully. “This is ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous?” she flared. “I’ll tell you what’s ridiculous.” Tears returned to the blue, and her words began to choke her. “Me. I’m ridiculous. Ridiculous for loving you. Ridiculous for loving someone who’s just going to leave me.”

Merrick looked at the hurt in her eyes, feeling it like a physical blow. “I’m not leaving you.”

“Oh, really?” she said, a bittersweet smile touched her lips through the tears. “You had me fooled.”

“I’ll return for you,” he said. “I swear it.”

“When, Mer?” Elony challenged. “In five years? Ten? If you even live that long.” She choked again as she said the last.

“I…I don’t know. But that doesn’t mean--”

“Yes, Mer. Yes. That’s exactly what it means.”

The harshness of her words overwhelmed him, and he couldn’t respond. He loved her, by Silver he did. Yet he was trapped, and nothing he could do would change that. How that ate at him. Consumed him. And now she threw it in his face. Why? What did she want him to do? Should he shout? Weep?

She has my heart. What else is there?

Merrick stood, covering the space between them. His sudden movement caught her off guard, and Elony let out a gasp when he kissed her. For a moment she resisted, but then she pulled him close, hungrily seeking his touch. Merrick accommodated her easily, lifting her off her feet in a strong embrace, before falling backward into a soft pile of hay. They twisted together, pulling at each other’s clothes. His fear, anger, and sorrow were replaced by her skin, lips, and scent. She encompassed his being, wrapped around his awareness, and for the first time that night, he felt whole.