《BODY&SHADOW》057: right here waiting & 058: still
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4 MONTHS AGO.
It was midnight when a rapping fell upon Yuhui’s door.
Just outside of the middle Tian’s quarters was a rather frazzled Tian Xiaoxu holding up a drunken stranger, red cheeked and dour, sun bleached braid hanging over his shoulder. The city was alive, loudly celebrating some arena victory or another with the loud pops and whistling shrieks of firecrackers echoing down every street. The king and queen were out, so the eldest was technically in charge—which meant the eldest would get skinned alive if there was any trouble.
“Yu’er,” the crown prince called flatly for his brother. “I think you have a visitor.”
“I don’t recall making plans with anyone,” Yuhui answered from inside the room. “But hold on.”
It took the second prince a few moments to open the door. When he did his confusion rapidly fizzled away into a shade of concern. Stepping forward to collect the boy he’d spent so many nights with, Yuhui took his weight from Xiaoxu. “Oh gods, are you okay? You reek of wine.”
Lin’ai was stunned to silence at the sight of Yuhui and kept himself at enough distance, even within the circle of Yuhui’s arms, to stare hard at the prince’s face. Surely this was another trick. Or maybe he was just that drunk? Lin didn’t know what he was hoping for.
“He hopped the wall and was throwing rocks at Miyan’s window singing Right Here Waiting really loud and bad, demanding to see either someone named Xun or you, so, uh…” Xiao cleared his throat. “You’re in mad debt with our thug sister.”
Yuhui’s frown was deep. It was the sort of expression that signaled unending torment, the type that knew that this sort of blood debt was the absolute worst to have. “Okay. I guess I’ll deal with that in the morning. Thanks for bringing him here and not calling Erxun, Xiao. There won’t be any more racket tonight, promise.”
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With a hand, Yu shooed his older brother off, encouraging him back down the hall that delivered him. He drug Lin’ai inside his room, pulling him to the bed in case he wanted to lay down. Truthfully, Yuhui didn’t really know what a man this drunk might want to make him feel better—he’d never been this drunk but, to him, laying down usually helped most issues.
“Seriously, Lin. Are you okay? Do you want tea? You could have been killed or arrested out there. You’re lucky my sister values my enduring pain over her own safety.”
“… but you’re Xun,” Lin stated numbly after Yuhui sat him on the edge of the bed. That drunken merc took his lover’s face in both hands to hold him still so he could have a better, longer look, still reeling hard from the discovery. “You weren’t supposed to be here, Xun. You were supposed to be anywhere but here.”
“I’m sorry.” Yuhui kneeled before Lin’ai, hands left at his side. “I’m here and I am Tian Yuhui.”
“What am I going to do?” Lin’s words trembled in his throat, hoarse and thick in his chest like a hornet swarm. “What am I going to do? I love you and you lied to me and you can’t be with me—I can’t go home, oh fucking Gods, if I go home I’ll have to admit to Quan that he was right—”
“Well, I’m not letting you go anywhere until you sober up a bit, so you have some time to figure it out.” Reaching up, Yuhui pushed a few strands of hair out of the other boy’s face.
“Get me more wine,” the sellsword mewled unhappily. “If I sober up, you’ll make me go.”
Yuhui’s lips were lopsided with a frown. “I’m not getting you more wine but you can hide in my room for a little while. My best friend, Ren Fei, tends to come early, but he won’t rat us out.”
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“Drink with me,” Lin whined, tugging on Yuhui’s collar. “I’ve just made a life changing discovery, Xun. Please. My mind is blown and I don’t know if I can handle this sober.”
“I feel like I’m getting drunk by proximity.” Yuhui laid his hands over Lin’ai’s, forcing him to stop. “Besides, you’re not sober right now. You’re handling this not sober. I don’t need to be drunk for you to be not sober. You’re already way ahead of me.”
Lin’ai leaned forward, placing his lips on Yuhui’s. He kissed him deep, kissed him messy. Lin’ai kissed Yuhui with the same passionate hello he always gave the street urchin he’d fallen in love with. On the tail end where I missed you usually went, Lin mumbled against the royal’s lips: “Why’d you do me like this, Xun?”
“My name is Yuhui.” He pressed up into those kisses, pushing the boy back until he was flat in his bed, until Yu was the one offering adoration and anointing wine-sweetened skin with spit and ardor. His legs split across Lin’ai’s hips, silk of his seastorm robe devouring the sight of that boy’s lower half in its foggy trailing.
“At first, I did it because I didn’t know who you were. When I sneak out, I don’t want people to recognize me. I can fight if I absolutely have to but I’m not that good yet. I continued it because I got scared. Fei said that you were related to the Fengs when I was telling him about you and told me to be careful. I didn’t know what would happen there and I wasn’t ready or brave enough to find out.” Yuhui smoothed a hand over his lover’s hair again. “On the other hand, I didn’t want to scare you off by admitting to you that I am a prince. I don’t know what I am to you, I didn’t want you to leave me before you had to… but I know I’ve made my own bed there.”
The prince sat up a little straighter, leaning on one palm pressed into his bedsheets. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you, Lin. It was wrong of me and you didn’t deserve it.”
“I don’t know who Yuhui is,” Lin’ai insisted even as his hands smoothed up familiar thighs, even as his calloused thumbs stroked the adductor tendon taut beneath the Prince’s robe. He spoke in sweet liquored sighs, head laid back to take in every apology, to swirl them around on his tongue to decide their worth. “Were you gonna leave me without a word if you got tired of me? Just leave me wondering whether or not you were alive someplace?”
“If I say no, are you going to even believe me?” Yuhui turned his chin, fingers trailing lightly down Lin’s cheek, his neck to clavicle.
“Iunno.” The older boy’s speech may have slurred but his eyes were steady, trained on the royal poised above him. “What are we gonna do now?
“I don’t know.” The prince shrugged a shoulder.
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