《Re:Mento Mori》Arc 3 Chapter 32: Again and Again
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His eyes opened to the ceiling once more. His hands cried red from the grip he held in them. Tears stained his cheeks while cold sweat covered his body. Despite this, he felt unmarred.
"I was too conceited last time. I thought that I could win with that piddly amount of effort I showed. I was a fool. You have to put in way more work than that to get your way." Flashes of his old world raced through his mind. Unpleasant as they were, they did prepare him for one thing, suffering.
"I need more information. I'll use this life as a stepping stone to reach the future I want!" He cleaned himself up, then with vigor, he ran downstairs and slammed his hands down on the table. "Hey, guys!"
Both Jessy and Queen awkwardly looked up from their card game to see a maniac. They both quietly responded. "Uh... hey."
"I see you two are busy playing a game. SO that means the guy we're meeting isn't here yet, right?"
Ryuji continued along as if he was some detective while ignoring the weird looks he was getting from everyone in the room. Even Dot, who was sitting in the back, was looking at him scrupulously.
Jessy went to answer. "Yeah, he's not here-"
"Then that means we have some time, right? So I was thinking about going on a little adventure and seeing the city. I don't really need to be present for this meeting anyway, and it's not like we're leaving tonight, right? Anyway, I'll be doing that, see ya!" Ryuji turned around to leave but was stopped by two hands wrapping around his arm. He looked back to see both girls stopping him and looking severely concerned and confused.
"Pardner, where the hell are you actually going?"
"What do you mean? I just told you."
Queen gripped his arm harder and gave him a look that told him to stop bullshitting. "She means, Hero, where are you going with an expression like you're about to go murder someone?"
"Huh?" Ryuji couldn't figure out what they were talking about.
"Ryu, if you're going to murder someone, the least you could do is bring me along for protection!"
"Dot, no one is murdering anyone. We're adventurers, for fucks sake! We're not rankers. We'll definitely get in trouble for that sort of thing. Now, why don't you just tell us where you're actually going?" Jessy squeezed his arm affectionately, which made his heart melt the slightest bit.
"I'm going to scout around the city for a bit. I'm not going to murder anyone today, okay?" Ryuji told them the truth, which seemed to work since both of them reluctantly let go of his arm, which now had red marks thanks to Queen.
"I don't really like the part where you said today, but I guess that'll do. Still, I'm coming along!" Jessy proclaimed her involvement in his affair and jumped out of her seat. She walked over to the door and started getting ready to leave.
"Wah? That's no fair, Jessy! Let's all three go. We can get slushies. Think about it, slushies!"
Dot ran up to Jessy, who was putting on her boots and began frantically jumping back in forth.
"Hold your horses, dammit! You hang around the man every minute of every day! Just this once, JUST this once, I would like to have some friendly one on one time. So please just stay here and play cards with Marie or something. Wouldnt you like that, Marie?"
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Jessy let out all of her built up discontent with Dot directly in her face causing Dot to frown. Marie lifted up her head after being asked and looked around shyly before answering.
"Well... only if she wants to." Marie fidgeted in her seat, which was a sight to see for all. Even the insensitive Dot felt the gravity of her situation and, as a result, folded.
"Fine... but if we're playing cards, then we're playing go fish, do you hear me, woman!? I will only play go fish!" Dot stormed over to the table, yelling about a card game meant for children.
Ryuji couldn't help but smile at the scene before catching himself. The smile soon faded as he remembered what was about to happen and why he was going out in the first place. He had to get past this day so that he could see these scenes for real. To him, the things happening were just that, things. They didn't feel real because, for him, they weren't. 'I'll make it out! This will not end like the others. I'll redo this as many times as I need to get everyone out alive and safe!'
"Uh, pardner? Don't we have some sights to see?" Jessy seemed to not like the look portrayed by Ryuji's eyes.
"I'm good. Let's go." Ryuji took one last look at the goofball and the inept before walking out. "I'll see you next time." He whispered more to himself than to anyone in particular.
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"Hey, buddy?"
Jessy asked an innocent question as Ryuji marched on through the crowds, searching desperately. With heavy complaint in his voice and without turning back to look, he responded. "Yes?"
"Why do we keep making circles around the plaza? This must be the third time we've crossed this bridge."
Ryuji let out a groan. This was the exact reason that he didn't want someone to tag along. "Listen, if you don't want to walk around with me, you can always go back, okay?" Ryuji waited a moment for a response but soon found that he wasn't getting one. He turned back to look at the cowboy, who was now giving him an exasperated look. "Fine, I'll tell you, so just don't look at me like that. I'm looking for a place people go to on a romantic outing. Also, it has to be around the square."
Jessy gave him a knowing look with a happy grin. "So, who's the lucky girl? Is it Rheaaaaaa?"
Ryuji internally slapped himself in the face for not realizing how stupid his question sounded. He did his best to ignore her and started moving forward and scanning the buildings and streets.
"Hey, pardner, what about over there?" Jessy's leather fingers pointed to a pastry shop that allowed customers to eat on the balcony.
"Are you sure? What kind of romantic evening involves eating sweets?" Ryuji had never been on a single romantic outing in his life, but he can firmly say that in no imagined scenarios did her ever go to a pastry shop.
"That, my dear, dear Ryuji, is why you will never understand the complexity that is the woman's heart."
"I don't think I want to understand what you think is romantic. Probably has something to do with sticking a joint up and riding off into the sunset horseback. Am I right?" Ryuji looked over to the short gunslinger next to him, who seemed to be drooling at the mouth, thinking of the scenario he just proposed. "Seriously? That's what gets you going?"
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Jessy snapped out of her stupor and fired back. "That's every girl's dream! Let me guess, your idea of romance is just taking a woman to a place where you can remove her pants!" Jessy attempted to cover her own embarrassment by exposing his.
"Damn right it is!" Ryuji yelled at the top of his lungs.
"You are a disgusting and creepy man. Do you feel even the slightest bit of shame for screaming that in public?"
"Arent you supposed to be the nice one!?" Ryuji had completely forgotten about the reason he was here. But then he saw it.
On the balcony of the pastry shop was a man with red hair and dead fish eyes. Ryuji's blood boiled at the sight of him. Wrath seemed to notice he was being watched and looked down to speak directly at Ryuji.
"Hello. Is there a particular reason that you hate me with such passion? It's not normal for someone to hate a person they don't know so fervently." The monotony of his voice scraped at Ryuji's ears.
"I hate you because of what you did to a friend of mine!" Ryuji yelled up to the balcony. He didn't know why he decided to be honest, but he felt like he made the right move.
The menace seemed uninterested. "Hmm, is that so? Carry on then." He turned back around and sat at a table. A beautiful woman with blonde hair and fish-like gills residing on her neck sat down at the table with him.
Ryuji sneered before storming off. A confused Jessy followed behind closely. "Um, what was that about?" Ryuji walked over a different bridge. "Pardner?" He continued into a new district that still relatively close to the square. "Ryuji!" A stern hand halted his progress.
"What is it!?" Ryuji screamed down at Jessy. Realization sank in after only a moment. "I'm sorry, Jessy-" He felt a harder tug on his arm as he was about to apologize. He couldn't see what face she was making thanks to the cowboy hat she had on.
She wordlessly led him to a nearby park. It was packed to the brim with couples, which made him feel especially awkward. "Ryuji?" He looked back at the center of his current concern. "Are you a giant fucking idiot?"
"Eh?" He thought she might be upset with him about the yelling, but from the sound of her condescending tone, it was something else.
"I asked, are you a giant fucking idiot?"
"No?"
"Then why do you insist on doing things alone? You know that you're weak, right? So why, even though you know that, do you decide that you shouldn't ask for help?" The voice reprimanding him begun to break. "Do you think that suffering alone in the darkness is going to help you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm always relying on you guys!"
A flash of anger overtook her sad eyes. "Always, huh!? Bullshit! If that's true then, what's the story behind the guy you had to practically hold yourself back from attacking, huh!?"
Ryuji took a step back before returning a yell. "That doesn't concern you! Why do you even care?"
A slap rang out in the park as a red mark slowly formed on Ryuji's cheek. "Do you seriously have to ask that? We're friends... aren't we?" Her sad tone made his chest tight and his eyes water. She continued to talk and let out her feelings with a rising growl in her throat. "Friends... friends help each other, don't they!? That's common sense, isn't it!?" Jessy grabbed his hands and flipped his palms to the sky, exposing his wounds. "Did you think for a second that I didn't notice the marks on your hands? Did you think Dot and Marie didn't notice either? You haven't done that for almost a whole year! Something must be going on, and for some reason, you won't tell us! So I decided to come with you and make sure you're fine but what do I get in return? I get yelled at and ignored when all I'm trying to do is pay you back!"
People walked by murmuring about a couple spat. Ryuji stared at the huffing girl whose face was a wreck. If he had a mirror, he would guess that the same thing could've been said about his. He quietly asked the question burning in his mind. "Pay me back?" He couldn't think of a single thing he had done that would require any form of compensation.
Jessy stared quietly at the ground before whimpering out an answer. "You know, sometimes at night, I get scared. I get scared thinking about what happened to me. What... she did to me. I remember the feeling of it like it was yesterday. The humiliation, the pain." She let out a self-deprecating laugh. "You know when people talk about their first times, they always say 'My childhood friend.' or 'This hot girl.' And you know what I get to say? I get to say, 'Oh, me? I was raped by a god that nobody knows the name of!' Isn't that just hilarious? Isn't that just grand!?"
"I'm sorry."
"Don't you dare apologize, you fucking idiot. You're the only reason I even have the opportunity to complain about what happened." Jessy took a deep breath before continuing. "All I'm trying to say is that I want to help you and the others feel the same way, but we can't help if we don't know what's going on."
Ryuji took his own deep breath. "I get it. I'll tell you everything when we get back."
"We can head back now?"
Ryuji eyed the taken bench that was a few yards away before responding. The girl with lilac hair turned over with a happy expression as she continued her dream. "Yeah, I got what I came for anyway, so it's all good."
Jessy pricked him with a judging gaze before shrugging. "Then if it's okay with you, can we head back a way we haven't gone? I want to actually see some sights."
"Lead on, Gunman."
"Gunwoman!" Jessy flashed him a smile before taking hold of his hand. Just like that, hand in hand, she led him down an unfamiliar road.
As the day grew shorter and their destination closer, Ryuji felt a developing pit in his stomach. He had intended to use this life as a giveaway but now. His eyes looked forward to the girl he thought he knew. 'Apparently, just living together for a year isn't good enough to know someone. If you never really sit down and talk to them, can you really say you know them?' These thoughts wormed their way around his mind. It was then that he decided to fight for his fate and not give up. 'If I die, I'll just reset, but that doesn't mean I should just give up! If things haven't gone wrong yet, maybe I can still salvage this life.'
As they passed by rows of buildings packed together like sardines, he smelled something peculiar. A tang of copper filled the air. The source of it seemed to be coming from the alleyway they were in front of. Ryuji stopped, which in turn made Jesyy stop as well.
"What's going on?"
"You don't smell that? It's coming from in there." Ryuji pointed towards the alley.
"And you're suggesting we go investigate?" Jessy sighed before heading into the alley. Ryuji ran past her and put himself in front.
The farther they got into the intermingling alleys, the more pungent the smell was. Ryuji turned a corner and struck something with his foot. "I knew that was the smell." His eyes looked over the dead body as he felt pangs of pity for the poor soul.
"What are you saying over... This is awful..." Bodies littered the grubby unswept floors of the alley. Each one was male, and all of them had the same look of despair permanently displayed. She put out her arm on the wall so she wouldn't fall over. Blood seemed to have oozed out of every pore on their bodies until they had nothing left. The result was a two-inch deep sea of blood pooling in the alley.
"Jessy, I need you to go and evacuate as many people as you can out of this area, okay?"
Jessy nodded before punching him in the arm. "Don't die!" Jessy turned around and ran out of the alley.
Ryuji plastered the fakest grin he could muster. "I don't plan on it. Now, who the hell are you?"
In the back of the crevice sitting on the outskirts of the intoxicating red mess, was a woman. Her fair looks and pale skin would make just about any man or woman on the planet fall to her whims. Her styled curly hair shared the same color as amethysts. The damp jewels resting on her face were citrine. Even the satin clothes she wore invoked feelings of desire that Ryuji might've had problems dealing with if he wasn't surrounded by death. She looked in a trance and didn't seem to notice Ryuji until the moment he yelled. Her eyes focused on him. With a frantic look, she started squirming. Her face became blushed, which was extra noticeable thanks to her snow-white skin.
"Wh-Why do you w-want to know my name?" A low whisper that was the very definition of feminine and adorable graced his ears.
"What do you mean why?" Ryuji's patience when it came to crazy people was wearing unbelievably thin. "Do you not see the blood all around you!? It's literally touching your feet, woman!"
"Oh, what to do? It seems I've upset you greatly. Oh, that's not good. I can't get a good man if I make people angry."
The woman cradled herself while her eyes darted back and forth. Her murmuring only served to make Ryuji even more on guard.
"Okay, forget about the blood. What about the guys dead on the floor!?"
The woman looked at Ryuji and followed where his finger was pointing. Her eyes settled on one of the dead men who seemed to have experienced hell.
"Him? H-He's one of the guys who confessed to me." The blush on her face grew as she squirmed like a shy highschooler. "He said that he l-loved me. So I tested him to see if he meant it."
Ryuji's bad feeling grew in intensity. He had a feeling he knew who this girl was or, at the very least, what she represented. He wanted to run far away. If the men on the ground were any clue, then he definitely didn't want to be tested. Even so, he had to know for sure.
"Who are you?" His hand rested on the blade in its sheath. He entered a stance, ready for what might come his way.
"Y-you want to know my n-name? Does that mean... you're in love with me?"
Her response wasn't what he expected, but then again, these people never could fall within his expectations. The smile on her face was that of an innocent girl, but her response was anything but.
"My name is Peitho. I am the sinner who lusts." Her cute and nervous attitude evaporated and was replaced by something more S than M. "Now then, darling, let's put you under the test."
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