“-uji… -ji!... ey!...” The world swirled around him as if he were looking through a fisheye lens. He understood that words were being directed toward him, but he couldn’t comprehend why or what they were saying. In fact, he didn’t even know where he was, or who the three spots in front of him were.

“RYUJI!” Dot’s voice snapped him out of the trance, and his eyes focused on what was before him. A girl with canines for every tooth was giving him a look of worry.

“Uh, sorry… what were we talking about?” He felt scared that he couldn’t remember what they were doing so he tried to play it off with an uneasy smile. All three shot him with equally confused looks, but apparently, they thought this was within the bounds of normal crazy Ryuji stuff. He didn’t know whether to feel happy that his friends understood him or angry that they just assumed he was bat shit insane.

“As I was saying, I’m tired of walking on my feet, and a certain someone, not gonna name any names, doesn’t want to carry me. So I am going to walk on my hands!” Dots spiel turned to utter nonsense, and Ryuji decided to dismiss it with a single wave. The girl seeing that Ryuji wasn’t going to let himself be guilt-tripped into carrying her decided that she would do what she announced.

Dot started to walk on her hands and after a while, ventured up a path that split from the main one and ascended a hill that the road the group was on winded around.

Ryuji looked on in confusion. He could have sworn he was experiencing major déjà vu at the moment. He hadn’t felt this way since-

“Since the… ruins…” Ryuji stopped dead in his tracks as he started to lose sight of the hand standing girl. Memories that couldn’t have happened came flooding back to him. His teeth chattered, and he became very aware of his deafening heartbeat.

“Couldn’t be.” He must be crazy. He couldn’t possibly have memories of everyone dying. If he did, then how was he here right now? If they were real, then why is he the only one that can remember?

“Doesn’t matter even if it is just a coincidence… what can it possibly hurt to make sure?” Ryuji started sprinting up the hill wearing a face full of desperation. He made it halfway up the hill before the screams of Queen stopped him in his tracks.

“Where the hell are you going, Hero!?”

“I’m making sure that Dot doesn’t do anything stupid that’s all!” His words were lighthearted enough but the distress turning his face into a mangled mess of conflicting emotions told a much different story to the two below.

They swapped looks before reluctantly letting Ryuji be on his way. “Alright! We’ll wait here.”

He flashed a hopeful smile. He was surprised that Queen let him off the hook so easily, but he just assumed that even she could tell how out of sorts he was right now. He continued his ascent up the hill and shortly thereafter sighted the weird girl he was after.

He didn’t really pay attention to it before, but even though she was standing on her hands the bottom of her dress did not fall, it just strangely defied gravity remaining stationary. He shook his head and quickly got back on track. “Hey, Dot! Stop that shit right now! You’re liable to hurt yourself or, more importantly, someone else!”

He was sure that if she had them Dot would be rolling her eyes right about now. With a single sigh of annoyance, Dot jumped off her hands and landed on her feet. “Ya happy now! Damn party pooper. If you’re gonna ruin my fun, then the least you can do is give me a goddamn piggyback ride!”

“Yeah, yeah. Fine hop on and-” A miniature mushroom cloud blocked out the sky in front of him. The force hit a few seconds later causing him to shield his face and fall back on his behind as the trees and grass surrounding him bent in resistance. Ryuji knew which direction that had come from and judging by how close the cloud was. “No, no, no!”

He sprinted down the hill and made his way back to the road. His heart felt heavy as his fears were confirmed. The ground on which Queen and Jessy were waiting had transformed into a crater that was reminiscent of what one would think ground zero of a falling celestial object might look like. In the bottom of the crater was a misshapen piece of metal that he could only assume was a gun.

Any hope he had of preventing the disaster disappeared. Strength left him, and he collapsed onto his knees in front of the colossal hole. Dot followed closely behind him and put her gloved hand on his shoulder. When he turned to her he felt a little relief that he managed to save someone. Even with the knowledge that his actions helped the tears that welled in his eyes did not cease themselves from falling.

“Cheer up man. I mean we really should get going but I’ll give you a few more minutes.” Ryuji nodded and Dot walked over a few feet and sat down before taking out her signature manga.

He grieved over the lives of the friends he had just lost. This was not something new to Ryuji, but the pain he felt was debilitating nonetheless. Only after a few minutes of crying his eyes out he started to think about what Dot said. His mind was so jumbled that he just now realized the eeriness of her statement.

“Dot?” Ryuji calmly called out to his only friend. She looked up from her manga and awaited his question. He had to be wrong, it had to just be a misunderstanding that his grief addled brain came up with.

“Why are you so calm?” Dot and Ryuji had known those two for pretty equal amounts of time. Yet only he was on his knees balling his eyes out while Dot acted as if she was just on a break.

Dot sighed and spoke in a manner that closely resembled how one would explain something to a little kid. “Well, that’s because I still have you. I mean yeah, sadly, those two are dead now, but we can’t just let their lives weigh us down forever, now can we? We also can’t wallow in self-pity and grief here forever either, or did you forget the whole point of this trip is to meet that Saint lady you have a crush on. Now, if you’re done, let’s get moving.”

Ryuji was left speechless and stared in abject horror at the blatant disregard for the lives of the people she was just happily chatting with earlier today. He didn’t understand it, and he didn’t want to understand it. It was as if she saw them as just playthings that could amuse her, and just as easily replaceable.

“You don’t mean that… right?” It had to be her own way of grieving right? Maybe she could clear it up with an explanation. He knew his friend Dot and she wasn’t the kind of person who would stomp all over the memories of her friends.

With an annoying voice, she responded. “Of course I mean it. Now get up and let’s get going. I’m tired of sitting around here it's just depressing.” She stood and put her manga away.

Ryuji refused to move. Full of rage he quietly voiced his grievances. “Of course it's depressing here, two people just died!” He couldn’t bear it anymore; he couldn’t contain his feelings anymore. “Where is it? Did you lose your empathy? Are you just a robot? I don’t understand it! I don’t understand it at all!” Dot started walking towards him but was stopped by his screams of hate. “Get away from me! Who even are you!?”

Dot looked wounded by his last comment, but she swallowed her pain and bore her resolve. “I’m Dot, that’s who I am! So go ahead! Call me inhuman as if I haven’t heard it a million times before! I knew it would be like this! I knew that you would hate me just like everyone else. I knew you were a liar!”

Ryuji felt that in some corner of his heart he understood where Dot was coming from perfectly. That what he was doing right now went back on everything he had said to her. Even though he knew it, he still couldn’t accept how she was acting and continued to glare at her while she ranted.

“Don’t look at me like that! I told you! I told you that I was a horrible person. Did you forget? Did you forget that it was you who made me believe that maybe someone out there might actually like the real me? That maybe I didn’t have to act like someone else, that I could just be… Dot.”

“------------”

“------------”

“So, you won’t apologize huh?”

“Fuck you!”

Ryuji felt a surge of emotions deep within himself. He wasn’t even sure who this person standing in front of him was. It couldn’t be Dot that’s for sure. He refused to believe it. His friend Dot had died and this thing replaced her. This thing before him had said such kind words before but now he couldn’t believe a single one.

‘Special to you?’ Ryuji was sure that if he died right now, she would probably just carry on to the meeting place herself. Hell, she might even have enough pep to whistle a tune while she did it. The thing in front of him definitely wasn’t a friend. So, if that was the case, he had none left. What was even the point in living if he had no friends.

Ryuji swiftly unsheathed his katana and with zero hesitation slit his own throat from end to end. A visceral spray shot out from the wound and the sudden loss of blood to his brain caused him to immediately fall.

He felt very hot but at the same time, he was starting to feel cold. He realized that this was death. As his blood left him, he felt a tug on his clothes, and his distinctly freezing body was embraced by the sensation of another. Ryuji realized it was Dot who was doing this.

She lay over top of him pressing down as hard as she could on the gaping wound. No matter how hard she pushed down it didn’t stop the flow one bit. Her face was one of pure horror as she realized that he couldn’t be saved.

“Ryuji!” She cried his name out with sincerity and heartfelt grief.

‘Huh? Why is she crying? I didn’t even know she could.’ He perceived the blunder he made. This girl did care for him and now she would be all alone.

“Don’t go!” Her sobs haunted him and the guttural screams that came from her despair chilled his very soul.

In his last moments, as his view darkened and the pain faded, he lifted his hand to let her know it would be all right. Before he could his vision blacked out and for the second time, Ryuji found himself in the void.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

He floated in the darkness for some time or maybe no time at all. His body was gone. All that he was had been discarded. Now he was just a soul floating about. He had no ears to hear with. No mouth to speak with. No eyes to see with. No hands to touch with. Despite this he heard something as if it were being directly input into his very soul it was the voice.

“Hello! How is my favorite devotee?”

He recognized it as the voice from his original suicide. He hasn’t heard her once in these long fifteen years. Wait… he has, he remembers now but why does he keep forgetting? He wants to sit here and listen to her all day.

“Aw, that’s cloying of you. If you would wish it then you are certainly free to listen. In fact, you are free to do whatever it is you like here.”

Anything? That wasn’t true. He was just a soul. The amount that he could do was truly little as he was now. This was saddening to Ryuji as he felt enamored by this disembodied voice.

He desired ears so that he may listen to her directly. To have the vibrations caress his ears and bring him to complete and utter bliss.

He desired a mouth so that he may kiss her. To feel what he imagined as the most voluptuous lips he had ever seen. He wanted to taste her, and she, taste him.

He desired eyes so that he may gaze upon her figure and admire her beauty. To see the perfection firsthand would be a euphoric experience.

He desired hands so that he may touch her body. To explore the velvety skin that he would lay bare. To feel the warmth of her and to share his.

“My, this is quite the list you’ve put together. I cannot recollect a time when someone has so fervently stated their desires to me as you have right now. Oh, but do not feel abashed over it. I told you that you were free to do as you like, and you have only expressed this given right.”

He was relieved that the voice did not feel disdain towards him for having such scandalous thoughts. Ryuji wondered why he felt this way and exactly what the feeling was. After much debate, he realized that it was simple he was in love.

“In love with me? My, my you certainly are taking advantage of this extra time we have together.”

--------------

“Why can we talk for so long this time? Well, that’s thanks to the authority residing in your companion as well as the one in that detestable man. Thanks to those two, we are getting wonderful reception for our talk.” The last of that sentence had been the first time he experienced her getting angry. This concerned him since the one he loves should never be angry, but he decided to let it be in an attempt to ask more questions.

He was debating what to ask next when his thoughts turned to the friend he left behind. He desperately wanted to go and apologize to her but how? He was most certainly dead at the moment.

“If you desire it, I can give you that freedom. In fact, through our pact, you already possess the means to accomplish it. Yes, this freedom I have given you is special. It is the freedom to suppress the past and overcome the future. It is the freedom to trample upon fate. It is the very freedom to trounce the gods themselves! Yes, that is the freedom that only you possess!”

As her explanation continued it gradually got more and more energetic until she was practically screaming a sermon into his soul.

-----------

“No, unfortunately, you will not remember me at least as you are now. If you overcome the fate that awaits you in the city then you might gain the freedom to do so.”

-----------

“My name? I cannot tell you this either. It is my freedom to keep my identity confidential as revealing it might cause trouble not only for you but for me. Although I will say if you keep meeting me like this and seducing me with your kind words, I may very well let it slip~”

With a renewed vigor, Ryuji felt ready to express his unique freedom. Ryuji bid farewell to his benefactor and said hello to the world of the living as his soul flung back in time.