《Re:Mento Mori》Arc 2 Chapter 20: Perfection vs. Chaos
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“So, what’s the deal with your weird getup? Is it a fashion statement or-“ A sickle interrupted as it entered the right side of her head.
The ninja spoke quietly but with supreme confidence. “Maybe you should pay less attention to your gags and more to the fight at hand.”
“Oh really? I’ll try and remember that for next time. Now, if I could offer a suggestion to you-“ A copy of Dot appeared seemingly out of thin air behind him and cocked her revolver. “-It would be to make sure you’ve won before making arrogant statements.”
A bullet of concentrated energy whizzed through his right ear as he dodged to the left. The sickle freed itself from the original Dots head and immediately lodged itself in the attacker’s face. Blood gushed forth and the Dot behind him lay dead while the one in front of him was its door.
“I think I should offer you a quick suggestion. You might want to step away from those.” Hundreds of feet away Dot stood as causal as ever without a hint of tension in her face. Without moving from an inch from his position he freed the sickle and prepared his next attack.
Dots grin grew while Caldwell started to look impatient. “Well don’t say I didn’t warn you.” A hissing sound filled the arena as the bodies that should have been Dot started to inflate. His eyes grew with surprise and he started to sprint away. “Tooo~ late!” An explosion that could rival something seen in a Michael Bay movie enveloped the area.
A cloud formed and Dot couldn’t help but feel extremely amused by the situation. She started laughing and comically slapping her knee as she thought about how Caldwell got tricked. As the smoke cleared, she made out the figure of Caldwell holding the same void he used to absorb Jessy’s shot. Dot didn’t mind though this just meant that her little game with him would continue a while longer.
“How many times do I have to kill you I wonder? I’ve already done it three times.” His sickle stuck out of the top of her skull and her laughing ceased.
From a few feet behind him, Dot spoke with clear mockery. “Oh there’s a limit alright but are you capable of it, heh I highly doubt that.” Her head flew off her shoulders as the sickle swung around.
“I’ve already figured out your little trick.” Her head disappeared yet again. “It may seem like you’re some amazing fighter but in reality, you literally can’t miss.” Again, she was struck dead but appeared in a different location as if nothing happened. “It’s your blessing, isn’t it? Must be nice to be born above other people huh?”
“Will you fight back already damn it! Stop running away and mocking me, I will stand for it no longer!” The bodies denoted once more and through the smoke, two Dots ran toward him. With closed eyes, the sickle still found its mark as it split both of them in half and whipped around back into his right hand.
“If you insist.” Flying through the smoke she cocked back her left fist and sent it right into his gut. The ground broke from the impact and his body rose from the force.
“Dark Blade!” The short blade coated in darkness lunged forward with the help of his left hand. Dot responded by letting it go through her palm. With desperation, he attempted to remove it until he saw Dot with her other hand point the barrel of a revolver into his chest. He kicked her in the stomach and pushed away he was certain that the bullet would miss now.
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What came out however was not a bullet but a chainsaw. Its moving teeth ripped apart his ninja armor and almost cut his skin.
“Enough!” With a roar, he used the sickle that couldn’t miss ripping through her.
“Well let’s knock it up a notch then!” With delight, Dot began her campaign of pranks.
From the dugout, her team watched with just as much confusion as everyone else. The opposing dugout however was having a good laugh at seeing Caldwell get so upset.
What was happening in the arena could only be described as a cartoon scene. It was painfully obvious to everyone that Dot wasn’t trying that hard to actually attack Caldwell which subsequently made him fly into a rage. He swung harder and faster than before.
Every time he cut down one another replaced her. They fired shots at him from all angles and he masterfully dodged them. The more he killed the more that came and each one carried with it a deadly trick.
“It’s a jack-O-cannon!” One carried with it a Jack-in-a-box but when she cranked it open it let loose an enormous cannon shot whose explosion rivaled that of modern artillery.
“I call this shadow boxing!” Dot mimicked boxing and made jab like moves. Her shadow meanwhile copied her and punched the shadow of Caldwell which cause the real one to fly sideways while holding his side.
“Four!” A dot carrying a gold club and wearing the stereotypical clothing of a rich golfer hit a golf ball. It flew faster than her bullets and hit him square in the jaw which caused him to spit out a few teeth.
“…Enough.” Shadows enveloped him and he simply disappeared into the ground. Around twenty Dots stood around waiting for him to come back up with the same look someone might give while waiting for laundry. Behind one of the Dots, the shadows rose, and a black knife pierced through her lung. “Backstab!”
The other 19 Dots similarly experienced the same wound even though they had not been attacked. Dot grabbed onto the blade before he had a chance to slice into her more. “I finally got the real one huh, this farce of a battle has gone on long enough you will fall here.” The 19 dots aimed their revolvers and started firing, but before the bullets hit him, he disappeared into the shadows once more.
When the blade left her Dot fell to the floor and clutched her wound. “You know, you’re right this HAS gone on long enough.” A bright flame began to burn where her right eye should be. Her attitude changed and no longer gave off the impression of being a prankster. The toothy grin she displayed now seemed more sinister.
Caldwell emerged in between two Dots and swiftly ended their lives. Instead of retaliation, he saw that the remaining Dots all stared at him with the same grin of mockery. It was as if she was silently belittling him a feeling he wasn’t very used to. “Do you think you can win by doing nothing? The next time my blade pierces you this battle will end!”
“Maybe you should worry a little less about ending this, and a little more about what’s above you.” His eyes turned to the sky above him only to find that it was blocked out by a white-gloved fist the size of a small home.
“Shadow Break!” His blade connected with the fist and lines seemingly formed from the tip and spread across much like a motherboard. In the next instant, the fist along with the arm it was connected to fell apart into meat blocks. “Is this a-“
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“Open wide now!” Caldwell tasted the tang of metal and felt the awkwardness of having something stuck in his mouth. He jerked to the side. His ears rung and the smell of gunpowder overpowered his nose. He now found himself with a hole the size of a golf ball in his cheek.
“Wowzers! That looks like it stings, do you want me to rub some antiseptic in it?” Dot held up the necessary supplies for such an endeavor and swiftly found herself without the top of her head. “Nice start! Now just do that about 1,000 more times and you might win!”
“SHUT UP!” He began swinging his sickle and chain in a circle slowly but surely speeding it up. In a few moments, a tornado was created, and Caldwell stood at the center. Dot after Dot was swept up and cut to ribbons.
“Oh no! How am I ever going to get in there?” She put both hands on her cheeks and spoke very much like an actor in a D listed movie reading the cards some underpaid man was holding up. “What an idiot, Is he incapable of learning?” She spoke this line more to herself than anything as the tornado made it very hard to hear anything.
Inside Caldwell was gauging his options when he felt a strange tugging coming from the hole in his cheek. The tugging started to feel more like tearing which then evolved into ripping. He felt intense pain and ceased the tornado so he could launch the sickle into his own cheek. He cut off the left side of his cheek and saw disturbing little versions of Dot residing inside the hunk of flesh.
Around 900 clicks were heard as Dot readied her shot. Before she had a chance to fire, he disappeared into the shadows once more and once more he appeared behind a lone dot and shoved his black blade into her chest. “Backstab.”
“Predictable.” Her head swiveled 180 degrees with her mouth wide open and Caldwell saw the glint of a barrel down her throat. He fell to his knees while the top of his hair became singed. Her hand caught his arm in an iron grip while her other hand pointed upwards.
His eyes drifted up and realized that her hat was now floating in the sky above them like some kind of UFO. An invisible energy shot from the underside of her hat. Its power flattened down the ground and forced Caldwell to kiss the ground. Dot released her grip and let him sink farther as the gravity piled on top of him.
The smile she had along with the glow in her eye could terrify just about anyone. However, it just served to enrage Caldwell even more. His eyes were filled with fury and his veins bulged. “Woah now, don’t pop a blood vessel on me. You know you are the toughest guy I have ever fought and also probably the most arrogant. Let this serve as a lesson.” She produced a Cuban cigar from nowhere and lit it with her fingers. She inhaled and took three long puffs before leaving it in her mouth.
“Now here’s your serving of humble pie!” She lifted her foot up as high into the air as possible and crushed his head under her heel as if it were tomato.
“Round 2 has been won by Dot!”
Dot walked back to the dugout with hopes that her efforts would help the one she cared about. Meanwhile, Caldwell made his way back and while he held a look of serenity you could feel the aura of fury beneath it. His teammates however did not care in the slightest.
“Hey, it’s the loser guys!” The big man got out his sentence in between his laughs. “How’s it feel? Wanna punch me doncha? Well, guess what that’s how I feel every time you say it! Oh, revenge is sweet!”
The girl with a katana remained quiet besides making a few snorting sounds. Caldwell walked past them both without saying a word and sat down on the bench. Luthien crawled up next to him and started tugging on his shoulder. “It’s okay if you’re a loser I’ll still love you Welly.” With a deep sigh, he leaned forward and started to rustle the elf’s hair.
On the opposing side, Jessy jumped into Dot as she made her way into the dugout. “You were so cool! I didn’t know you were that strong Dot. Also, I would just like to say that I give your use of guns a massive seal of approval although I wish that you finished him off with one but it’s fine.”
“Aw…thanks.” Dot responded by hugging the slightly shorter girl while she nuzzled into her chest.
“I for one absolutely loved the way you crushed that prick.” Queen gave a thumbs up and a slight smile for Dot’s efforts. Dot couldn’t remember a time when Queen had shown this side to her and while she definitely understood that the Queen of thorns was still human it gave her a shock nonetheless.
“Thanks, Marie.” After giving her gratitude she pulled Jessy off her and then turned her attention to the man with a sour look. She tried her best to be confident but also flirty like those manga women she liked reading about. “So how about Ryuji, was I cool? Oh, maybe I was so cool that you fell head over heels for me.” On the outside, she was smiling but on the inside, she was a hot mess and hoped that this would work.
Ryuji’s eyes looked as if he had spent all night studying or some other tiring chore but despite that, he smiled at Dot’s horrible version of a joke. “Yeah, I felt my heartstrings get tugged a lot that match, and just watching you absolutely destroy him it just… ugh makes me get going ya know.”
“Let me get that down in my journal, Ryuji gets turned on by domination, there!”
“Hey, that’s not fair! You literally wrote that down shouldn’t this sort of warfare be banned?”
“All’s fair when it happens to Ryuji.” Queen interjected matter of factly
“Agreed” Jessy and Dot both echoed their opinion.
“Oh I get it, I have a penis so I get ostracized, well whatever.”
“Aw isn’t it cute when he gets all pouty and sulky?” Jessy talked like she was addressing a two-year-old and started poking his cheeks.
“Stop talking to me like I’m some baby!”
“Aren’t you though?”
“Round 3 Marie versus Raleigh!”
“Oh look at that I guess it’s time for you to stop making fun of me and go secure us a win.” Ryuji held out his fist for Queen.
She looked him in his eyes before bumping his fist. She then shot up and hurriedly made her way to the center of the arena. Both Dot and Jessy noticed the abnormal amount of red on her face as she hurried but Ryuji remained oblivious.
“Round 3 begins!”
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