“ONCE UPON A TIME…

“I believe that’s the way you start stories?” the ferret asked Nick. She gave no sign of affirmation.

“Once upon a time,” the ferret continued after a period of silence, “there was a fight. A terrible fight, with its hefty share of blood and violence, tyranny and betrayal. To some, it was a revolution. To others, it was a war. To most, it was simply chaos and death. There were no real sides of the battle. Most of the time, it was just a mess of fighting. But it did start with two rivalries. The rabbits, or more specifically, the Lagamorphs, and the Mustela.

“How did this begin? Well—”

“I already knew how it began!” Nick cut in fiercely. “The rabbits tried to take over their planet because they defied the laws of nature!”

“Nick—” Exflibberaguil protested weakly, knowing what the ferret was to say next.

“Ah, so that’s what my master her told you,” the ferret said smugly, relishing its moment even more than before.

“I didn’t remember anything!” Exflibberaguil snapped, defending himself. “I forgot it all! And even so, I was only five. I couldn’t remember anything…”

“Flibber?” Nick asked, suddenly uncertain and confused.

“Let me educate you with the correct version,” the ferret said. “The real version, not some Mustela propaganda.

“Rabbits never intended destroy any planets, or take over anyone. They simply were fueled with a single desire: the desire to live. It is perhaps one of the only universal desires natural to everyone, unless, of course, you are willing to say otherwise?” the ferret challenged.

Nick did not speak.

The ferret chuckled to itself. “And what was they to do when ‘nature’ began throwing viruses and diseases at them? Succumb to nature and die off? Go extinct like how your dinosaurs went? Be replaced by another species nature decides on? Is that where you’d like your fellow humans to be? Replaced?

“I thought not. Why have your scientists paid so much attention to other planets and alien species? It’s your plan B. Somewhere you can go to when things get tough, and nature tries to wipe your species away. I doubt you’ll be able to get anywhere close to exploring other planets in your evolution phase, but perhaps after a few wipes and diseases, your planet would get there some day.

“These rabbits have already gone through several phases, and they believed, like every species, that their current phase is the ultimate phase, and they wished to preserve their species until the end of time. Naturally, when their planet became overpopulated, they sought ways out and to other places to survive. Rabbits are capable of living on many different planets, and they soon were easily immigrated in various places, including Pylo’rox, home to your darling Mustela.”

“Immigrated? Ha!” Nick said jeeringly, though her tone was no longer so certain.

The ferret ignored her exclamation. “The rabbits who immigrated were, at first, treated with utmost kindness. People often adopted rabbits and poor families on the streets out of pity. However, as you know, rabbits are extremely fast at reproduction, and soon, when rabbits were more common, Mustela began to lose their patience for them. Mustela never were really kind to begin with. Parents would often abandon their children. At one point, it was popular to replace your children with a rabbit, so show their supposed kindness to ‘refugees.’

“Quickly, the hype for rabbits was extinguished, and many rabbits their pity homes and jobs. Most lived on the streets. A few lucky ones became janitors and maids. The most popular job for a poor rabbit was a nanny or a governess. Because of the declining population of Mustela, it is the law for every couple to have a child. Since no parent wanted to take care of their children, rabbits were hired as nannies.” The ferret stopped, watching its words take effect. “Of course, I say ‘hired’, but slavery would be a better term. There was no payment. The only benefit the rabbit enjoyed was a roof and minimal food. Exflibberaguil’s nanny was a rabbit, I believe.”

“No…” Nick said, glancing at Exflibberaguil for confirmation. But he sat against the wall, his head in his arms, burying his face.

“This, the rabbits tolerated. It was only expected. Their home planet wasn’t much better. Despite their greatest efforts, their planet was still getting overpopulated. So they accepted their current situation as something they were supposed to experience. Many were beat and bullied, and many died on the streets. Hundreds must have been killed in secrecy. No one paid attention to them either way.

“But the rabbits continued to populate Pylo’rox, and their population was getting dangerously high. Measures were put up to prevent rabbit population, but why should they listen to a government that didn’t protect them? However, many rabbits realized the danger of their situation, and opted to let their family line die out, in hopes of being able to support the next generation. But unfortunately, this wasn’t close to enough, and soon, there were more rabbits on Pylo’rox than Mustela and all other immigrants combined. Rabbit immigrants were no longer accepted, and many rabbits were killed openly.

“The Mustela government decided that the only way take care of the rabbit population was to kill all of them. But they could not kill rabbits freely without a reasonable motive, or some sick excuse to justify their actions. Some way to show that they were not the bad people, and the rabbits were the ones that would start the war.

“It was the vice president of Pylo’rox that thought of the solution. She hired a rabbit as the president’s personal butler, of sorts. She convinced the president that by showing kindness to the rabbits, the rabbits would feel ashamed, which would be the first step to achieving their goal. However, this was far from her actual, far more malicious intent.

“Late one night, she came to the president explaining that she finally found a way to solve their problems. They shared a meal and a drink. Prior to the meal, she poisoned the alcohol, knowing the president was a heavy drinker. The president died right before her eyes. To make her less suspicious, she sipped some of the poisoned liquid and fainted, making it seem like she was on the verge of death.

“The media, who have for so long ignored the pleading cries of the rabbits, latched on to the theory that the one rabbit butler was the one that poisoned the drink. It was impossible to convince the public otherwise, and the judge and jury were only too happy to sentence the rabbit to death. The vice president, pretending to be heartbroken and bewildered, declared the rabbits were the first to initiate the conflict, and that they were going to war against the rabbits.

“Then, suddenly, killing rabbits became patriotic. Many were bombed right on the street. Mustela killed their rabbit cooks and nannies for the most obscure reasons. And rabbit stews and rabbit ears became the most popular delicacies.

“The gentle, caring rabbits were taken by complete surprise. They, who had endured all the hate society had cast on them, became the victim of such injustice. They could take it no longer. And, though they seemed weak and helpless, they had several more millennia of evolution than the Mustela, and several more millions of weapons. The Mustela military had gone lazy and powerless under centuries without a threat, and found themselves ill-prepared for the mass of rabbits that suddenly began pouring from other planets and fighting for their rights. However, soon other species began arriving on the Mustela’s side, and all hell broke loose.”

“But where does Exflibberaguil come in?” Nick interrupted.

The ferret smiled the way only a ferret can. “Patience. I am getting there.”