《Terms and Conditions》Finale 2

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“SO, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?”

“I got my memory back,” Exflibberaguil replied gloomily.

Nick suddenly tensed up, looking very frightened. “Oh!” she said in a peculiarly high voice. “H-how are you?”

“As good as someone who just realized that your archenemy isn’t always evil could be.”

“What?”

“And that your parents ate your rabbit nanny.”

“Hold on—”

“And then they died because that nanny happened to be one of the first rabbits that took the self-sacrifice potion which kills anyone that eats them.”

“What are you talking about?” Nick yelled. “Rabbits not bad? What do you mean? Why are they locking us up then? Did you even need to be saved?”

“Oh, these rabbits seem like the bad kind,” Exflibberaguil replied, his face blank and bored. “And for the record, I was the one that was locked up first. Then you went and had this genius plan to get us locked and leashed. As for your rescue mission,” Exflibberaguil sighed, “well, I don’t know. Maybe I didn’t need to be saved. Maybe I would be better off as a lunatic in that ja—OW!”

Nick struck him hard with her hand, leaving a bright red mark on his face. She dusted off her hands, looking very satisfied with herself.

“Why did you do that?” Exflibberaguil yelled, turning red.

Nick smiled smugly, having predicted Exflibberaguil’s reaction and obviously had an insult ready. “First,” she said, extending her index finger, “I don’t know if anyone has told you this, but you are really irritating and I have been wanting to do that since you first became conscious and opened that beak of yours. Second, it hurts my pride to see that for the past month, I have been associated with such a pathetic loser that wouldn’t even admit he is delighted to see me and would have been rotting in a white box if it weren’t for me. And finally, I do not need to be reminded how stupid I was to come rescue you and how small of a chance I have now to escape, so if you don’t have anything constructive to say, please close the lid on your toilet.”

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“Lid on my—”

“SHUT UP.”

Exflibberaguil’s mouth was still open in mid-sentence, but after a moment, he closed it and resigned to silence.

“You’ll have to explain the whole memory thing later,” Nick said at last.

“And you should explain your plan now,” Exflibberaguil snapped.

“This is it.”

“What?”

“Your out of your old jail now. Aren’t I a genius?”

“And now you’ll be forced to fight me!”

“Well,” Nick said with a shrug, “if I win, I can put you out of your misery.”

“Nick, are you—”

Nick suddenly reached the grab Exflibberaguil’s wrist, and leaned close to his ear.

“There’s a security camera in this room,” she muttered. “And I believe that is our escort hopping towards us. Don’t worry, I plan on getting out alive.”

***

“RABBITS AND BUNNIES, WELCOME!”

The spotted bunny tugged on their leashes. Nick stumbled forward and tripped, resulting in a roar of laughter.

“Welcome, all!” the bunny continued, speaking to a hidden microphone. There were several shrieks of delight.

Exflibberaguil looked at Nick pityingly, before reaching out a hand and helping her up. Amazingly enough, the rabbits were able to set up a giant battling arena in a matter of hours. Great stands holding hundred of rabbits were set up in a wide ellipse, with Nick, Exflibberaguil, and the rabbit right in the center. It was a mess of ears and fangs, snarling and hooting in a chaotic jumble of noise.

Suddenly, a large tan rabbit leapt out of the crowd and began approaching them rapidly. Nick shielded her eyes in hopes she could see the dot of a rabbit more clearly.

“My god, it’s Cosmo!” Nick breathed.

“I knew he was no good!” Exflibberaguil muttered.

Cosmo completely ignored them, however, and headed straight towards the spotted rabbit, screeching something in Rabbish.

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Nick frowned and wrinkled her nose. It wasn’t fair they knew a completely new language. She was missing Box.

The two began a heated conversation, shrieking louder and louder, though the roar of the crowd drowned them out to any eavesdroppers. Exflibberaguil, however, was staring at them and listening intently.

“Nick!” Exflibberaguil gasped. “This is incredible! Are you listening to—hey, why aren’t you paying attention?”

“Attention to what?”

“To what the rabbits are saying!”

“What?” Nick asked. “Listen, I don’t know what prank you’re playing but I sure can’t understanding screaming.”

“Screaming?” Exflibberaguil exclaimed. “What do you mean—” Suddenly, his eyes widened in understanding. “You don’t mean…”

“What?”

“Of course!” he said. “I recovered my memory and I was able to talk to Baba! I knew how to speak and understand Rabbish all along, and now I remember how to! This is incredible!”

Nick looked at him dubiously, evidently not sharing his enthusiasm. “Well, alright Mr. Incredible,” she said impatiently, “what are they saying?”

“Cosmo is telling the bunny to shut the whole thing down. He says it’s stupid and I should be locked up. But the bunny is being stubborn and—”

Suddenly, Cosmo groaned in frustration and hopped away. The bunny looked triumphant, though rather out of breath, and turned on the microphone again.

“Anyways, welcome all, and I have a treat prepared for you. You see these two? They are going to fight against each other!”

There was a loud cheering, though Nick could hear one ask, “those puny things? It won’t last a minute.”

“Now, without further ado, we’ll get these two a few shots of adrenaline to get them going. Don’t you worry. This is going to be quite a show. We have laid out an obstacle course, but we will not let them die unless they kill each other. And the winner will fight one of you!”

This time the cheering was louder, and Nick suddenly looked much more anxious.

“Adrenaline?” she muttered. “I didn’t expect this.”

“For the first event,” the rabbit declared, “I will inject shrivelberry poison into both of them. They will each have a sample of the antidote in a small locked box, and the key to their opponent’s antidote. The injection also contains a microchip that can deliver samples of the excruciating pain they would experience should it ever get too boring.”

Exflibberaguil glanced at Nick, he himself growing worried. Nick was visibly shaking and twitching now. This was definitely not her plan.

“And now, to begin,” the bunny said, reaching for her remote control.

Nick was fumbling and twiddling her fingers, doing something in her large hoodie pocket. Suddenly, the ceiling opened up with a loud cranking sound, diverting everyone’s attention to the four submarine-like capsules hidden above.

All of them were empty.

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