《Terms and Conditions》Interrogation

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“OH BOY, I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE IN THIS ROOM.”

“Marine, I asked—”

“Oh, I know what you asked. I’m not deaf, you know,” Nick snapped, “though I can’t say the same for you. How many times have I told you to call me Nick?”

“My question was—”

“Hello!” Nick said brightly to the one-way mirror. “I would wave, but my hand is chained to the table. Of course, you can all see it,” she added. “I keep on forgetting. This whole ‘you can see me but I can’t see you’ thing is very confusing.”

Detective Hart sighed. “You understand this can be considered as obstructing the investigation?”

“You’ve said that five times.”

“And I didn’t lie.” Detective Hart rubbed his eyes, beginning to feel the fatigue Officer Kirk had been experiencing. Officer Andrea had to be taken to her hotel, but Officer Kirk refused to go. He was currently snoring on the couch in the break room. “Also, just so you know, you are talking to no one. There is nobody behind the mirror.”

Nick shrugged. “It only helps when I plead for insanity in court.”

“Court?”

“By the speed we’re going, I’d be in court in an hour for ‘obstructing the investigation.’” Nick paused thoughtfully, her eyes glinting as she smiled at the mirror. “And, I hate to break it to you, that was your first lie. I know officers are watching me.”

Detective Hart’s expression didn’t change, though his eyes narrowed suspiciously. “How did you know?”

Nick grinned wider. “I didn’t!” she said brightly. “I just guessed; you answered.”

This time Detective Hart chuckled and silently chided himself for falling for the oldest trick in the book. It was a classic move that all amateur detective movie enthusiasts knew. There was always that one criminal that accidentally admitted a clue the detective guessed. This time, the trick was directed against the officer.

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“Smart, smart,” he muttered, “but that doesn’t let you off the hook. I repeat, what is your account on what happened.”

“Let’s see,” Nick said. “I was kidnapped and forced to listen to nails on a chalkboard every day until I went insane and killed a rabbit.”

Detective Hart raised an eyebrow.

“Ah! I seem to have the details mixed up!” Nick said. “Here’s the real thing: I was walking along the road, and the FBI suddenly appeared and recruited me to go undercover and discover the secret recipe to Bazooka Bubblegum and bring it back for mass production.”

The other eyebrow when up.

“Fine!” Nick sighed, raising her hands, her wrists still cuffed to the table. “I willingly followed a robot into an alien’s UFO because I agreed to the alien’s terms and conditions and I ended up fighting evil rabbits that will eventually take over planet Earth.”

“Okay, that was just an insult to my intelligence,” Detective Hart said dryly. “You tried to make it somewhat believable in the first two, but the last one was just ridiculous. I’m serious. This…this…red-headed Ex whatever could be dangerous. You don’t want this country to explode, do you?”

Nick shook her head innocently.

“Then let’s get serious, alright?”

“I was. It’s up to you to decide if you want to believe me or not.” Nick shrugged. “Of course, I can always make up some believable story, and you can work your butt off trying to find Exflibberaguil, but I have a feeling you won’t approve of that either. So what do you want? Do you want Earth to be destroyed?” Nick asked, turning the question back on Detective Hart.

“Of course not.”

“Then I suggest getting rid of the rabbits.”

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Detective Hart stood up suddenly, knocking over his chair and slamming his palms on the desk. Blue veins throbbed on his forehead, popping out and pulsing like a garden hose. His eyes bulged. “You are still on that?” he roared. “Enough already! I told you this is serious! You have to stop taking this as a joke. This is bigger than you know of.”

“And what makes you the judge of what’s important?”

Detective Hart sighed heavily and sat down again, rubbing his eyes. “Ah, well. It seems like I won’t be getting anything useful out of you anytime soon.”

“On the contrary, I believe I was very useful if you’d only recognize my genius.”

Detective Hart shook his head dejectedly. “Do you have any relatives you can stay with? I don’t recommend visiting your mom. She’s in an unstable position.”

Nick sighed. “Wasn’t planning to. Seeing me again might give her a heart attack.” She stared at the corner of the room for a while. After a moment, she set her lips grimly as if she had come to a conclusion she did not like. “Relatives, you say? I suppose I have my father, but I never have seen him. I don’t think he’d like seeing me much either, though Mom says that he does care about us and sends us money. Mom says he just works a lot and never has a chance to come to see us, but it’s a rather lousy excuse for divorce.

“I never really interacted with any other relatives. My mom didn’t, at least. There’s certainly no one on my dad’s side and very few from my mom. I suppose Aunt Cara is alright, though I’m not sure how she relates to us. Some absurd connection, I think, and I don’t even know if I share blood with her. But at least I’ve seen her, and she is willing to stay at our house for more than five minutes. I don’t know where she lives, but I’m sure you’ll be able to find out with all your fancy police software.”

Detective Hart nodded. “Alright then. You’ll be staying in here for a while, but it’s the consequence of not answering my questions.”

Nick cracked a smile. “I’ve spent much more time in detention; this is nothing.”

Detective Hart’s expression did not move. With a final long, hard, stare at Nick, he sighed and left the room.

And Nick was alone again with her thoughts.

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