《Terms and Conditions》Crime Scene
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IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL PARK.
Unfortunately, Officer Kirk didn’t have the stamina to enjoy it. He didn’t bother hiding his fatigue. He yawned and groaned. Earlier, he had suggested the team go to the hotel and sleep, but Jake refused adamantly. He insisted they check out the site, even though he was just as tired as the rest. When Officer Kirk tried to use his authority to sneak in a few hours of overdue sleep, Jake suddenly became angrier and threw something that can only be described as a tantrum. By that time, Detective Hart was holding his sides with uncontrollable laughter, and the only way Kirk could find to cease the embarrassment was to go with Jake. Officer Kirk made a lame excuse about Jake’s good intuition and uncanny gut instinct, and hurried away, grabbing Jake a little harder than he should.
From then on, Hart had become unbearable. He smirked at yawning Officer Kirk and began bouncing around to prove he was not tired at all. “Beautiful park isn’t it?” he said smugly. “We make sure, to keep it litter-free. It’s a crime to litter here, and we take it very seriously. Of course, I’m sure you have plenty of volunteers at your place to pick up the trash. Those nonprofits sure are handy, huh? You won’t need to pay them anything, but I’m sure you know all about that.”
“Do you know,” Officer Kirk said, stifling another yawn, “that it’s the poorer cities that fine a lot for litter? They need the money. Of course, I know you have plenty of other reasons for fining litterers so badly. Maybe you have too many officers you can’t get rid of. I know a case like this must really be a treat.”
Hart’s smile became a degree colder. “The reason we charge citizens for littering is because we like to keep these parks beautiful. We here love the environment. We have to take care of the earth. I’m sure you agree.”
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Officer Kirk pretended not to hear by yawning loudly. He had to admit though, it was a beautiful park, with its luscious green grass and picture-perfect pond. The harsh bright yellow of the CAUTION tape was horribly out of place, against the beautiful background of tall, full green trees, not a single one of their leaves brown.
“I admit,” he muttered, not quite loud enough for Hart to hear clearly, “this place is real nice. I’m sure all that money you collected from these supposed ‘litterers’ helped quite a bit.”
“What’s that?”
“Come on!” Jake yelled as he crossed the caution tape. “What are you all waiting for?” His voice was strangely high and childish, and his bottom lip quivered.
Kirk ignored the nasty smug look Hart was shooting him and walked wordlessly towards Jake.
Once he arrived however, he was surprised that Jake didn’t want to see the crime scene. “What?” Kirk hissed, glancing at Detective Hart to see if he was eavesdropping. Andrea had hooked him into a conversation which he seemed to be engrossed in. “Hey, Officer Jake, you can’t keep doing whatever you want. You insisted we come, why aren’t you interested in the crime scene now? Are you playing me?”
Jake just turned his head. “I just don’t want to see the crime scene!” he repeated. “I don’t wanna! You go and check it out. Me, I’m going to stand right here.” He stomped on one of the stakes hammered crudely in the earth to support the caution tape.
Officer Kirk sensed a naïve stubbornness in Jake and resolved not to press on. Hart was finishing with his conversation and returned to his hew favorite past time: making the most annoying and smug faces at Kirk.
“All right then,” Kirk sighed with resignation. “I’ll go. You stay here and—hey, who’s that?” He was suddenly distracted by three figures approaching. As they ran closer, he could see two officers half hold, half dragging a short woman with brown hair. From the wrinkled blue uniforms, and the slightly off-center caps, the woman had obviously put up a strong struggle.
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“Who’s this?” Detective Hart asked.
“Not sure, sir,” said the taller officer on the left. His long, thin limbs were visibly tired from holding the woman.
“We’ve caught her spying on the crime scene, sir,” the shorter and more muscular officer continued. His voice was surprisingly high, which made him rather comical. “Twice, I believe.”
“Lemme go!” Oakley yelled, thrashing about and fighting against her handcuffs. The two officers, unable to keep her down, put her on the ground. She sprang up with her hands still cuffed behind her. “I just wanted to know what happened. You know this has been all over social media. I’m just interested, that’s it!”
“I thought I informed the press that I did not wish them to be nosing about,” Detective Hart said icily. “Uncuff her, by that way. I don’t think she’d escape just yet.”
The first officer approached her slowly, inserted the key, and quickly sprang back as if he was setting off a bear trap. Oakley struggled out of her handcuffs and flexed her wrists. “I told you!” she said. “I’m no press. I’m just interested in this case. And all crimes, actually, but especially this one. It’s internet famous.” She stopped, then cocked her head keenly at Hart. “And since when have the media ever listened to your warnings? I saw at least five vans outside, poorly camouflaged.”
Detective Hart shrugged. “They don’t get caught.”
Oakley muttered something inaudible, then said, “Fine. I won’t be pestering and spying again. I’ll just go home, alright?” She rifled through her pocket to find her wallet and pulled out her driver’s license. “Here are my credentials. You can do all the fancy police work with this, and you can see I am a perfectly respectable and law-abiding citizen.”
Officer Kirk peered at the card. “Oakley Noel? I think I’ve heard of you. You’re the new cat specialist that moved in.”
Oakley gave him a pained smile. “Yes, meerkats.”
“What are you—” and once more, Officer Kirk was distracted by figures moving in the distance. This time, they weren’t wearing uniforms. Jake seemed to suddenly take a particular interest in them.
“Hey!” the larger and bulkier one yelled.
“Hello? Police!” said the other.
“Oh lord,” Oakley muttered. “What are these two idiots doing here?”
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