《Terms and Conditions》Andrea
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“FOLLOW HER? THAT’S IT?”
“That’s what Officer Kirk said,” Jake sighed. His voice betrayed doubt, but he respected Officer Kirk too much to question his orders.
Jake’s partner, on the other hand, didn’t share his beliefs. Andrea, despite her seemingly small and timid frame, liked challenging authority and was a whole lot braver than Jake. She snorted and rolled her eyes, detecting the twinge of doubt. “Look, you and I both know that woman’s not fit for driving. I value my life, you know.”
“Your driving convinces me otherwise,” Jake muttered.
Andrea ignored him “Why do you copy everything that man does? You’re a police officer! You can make your own decisions.”
“That man just so happens to be our boss,” Jake reminded her.
Andrea rolled her eyes, unable to think of an argument. “Can I drive? You drive so slowly,” she complained, purely for the sake of criticizing.
“You can’t drive when you’re eating.” Jake nodded to the foot-long sandwich she held in her hand.
“Who says?”
“The law.”
“Rules,” Andrea began, swallowing between words, “are meant to be broken.”
“Tell that to the judge.” Jake gripped the steering wheel even tighter, his knuckles white. Mrs. Lucifay was driving well under the speed limit, annoying other drivers who honked angrily. Jake remembered what Officer Kirk had said about the sleepwalking, and was afraid she’d wake up any second and go crazy. He stayed several cars behind her, craning his neck so he wouldn’t lose sight of the white minivan.
Andrea shook her head and snorted, obviously having thought of something clever to say. “Okay. How about this. You can chew gum when you drive, right?”
“I-I suppose.”
“And it’s perfectly legal to swallow gum while you drive.”
“Unhealthy. But yes, it’s legal.”
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“So,” Andrea concluded, “I’m not breaking the law. I’m simply chewing pieces from ginormous subway-flavored gum and swallowing it. Look, she stopped at a gas station. Come on, let me drive.”
“I don’t think the law would accept that excuse…” Jake argued, but reluctantly braked anyways and switched seats. He knew that if Andrea didn’t get her way, she’d just end up annoying him to no end. Besides, her driving wasn’t half bad (if you liked averaging eighty miles per hour) and she did have more experience when it came to chasing criminals. She had been involved in a road race last month when a pocket thief tried to escape. Jake was certain that, should Mrs. Lucifay ever decide to flee, Andrea would have no difficulty chasing her down.
The problem was that she was not the patient sort. Within seconds of Mrs. Lucifay getting back on the road, Andrea had also joined the group of cars that were honking and beeping. Some were able to pass the minivan, but it was soon impossible when Mrs. Lucifay turned onto a narrow one-way lane.
“Hey—hey! Officer Kirk said she’s in a sleepwalking trance. You shouldn’t wake her!” Jake protested.
“If she was going to wake up, she would have already,” Andrea pointed out, slapping the horn again.
“Why do you need her to go faster anyway? Isn’t she easier to follow when she’s going slow?”
Andrea paused, obviously contemplating this question that had never occurred to her. She frowned. “I don’t know. I just want to go fast. I won’t get any recognition for catching someone who drives at two miles per hour. And going slow is just so annoying. Cars are supposed to let you reach the destination faster. A pigeon would be faster than us right now!” Andrea pouted.
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After a long silence, Jake said, “Hey look, she turned into a dead end.”
Andrea brightened. “This must be her destination.”
“Or she could be making a U-turn…”
“I won’t allow her to.” Andrea swerved around the corner. “I don’t care what Kirk says. If this isn’t her destination, I’ll bring her back to the station. Besides,” she added, wanting to justify her decision, “it’s not safe for her to be on the road. Driving slowly maybe even more dangerous than driving fast. Any impatient driver can easily crash into her sheerly from road rage. She’s a hazard to others, myself included.”
“Why do I have a feeling that you’d be the one that would have crashed into her?” Jake teased.
Much to their relief, the white minivan stopped at the end of the road and parallel parked clumsily on the side, nearly hitting a signpost. Mrs. Lucifay unlocked the car and stepped out. She stood in the middle of the road for a minute, surveying her surroundings in a confused sort of way. Finally, she seemed to come to a decision and took slow steps to a building with neon signs.
Andrea hurried to park as well. “A bar?” she asked, reading the sign. “How’s she going to get home? That’s certainly something we can arrest her for.” Andrea opened the door and stepped out.
“Where are you going?” Jake hissed.
“What do you mean? I’m going to follow her!”
“I think I should ask Officer Kirk first.” Jake started dialing his phone.
“Do you even call yourself an officer?” Andrea yelled with exasperation. “Officers make their own decisions! You can’t just rely on your precious Officer Kirk forever. Sure, he’s our boss, but he doesn’t pay us to ask him a million questions a day. He pays us for this!” Andrea tapped her head.
“He also pays us to follow directions and carry out his orders,” Jake snapped.
Andrea sighed heavily. “Fine. You stay in the car and get confirmation from Kirk then. I’ll go into the bar and do what my duty is to do. I’m going to protect that woman.” She stepped out. “I’m taking the keys, by the way,” she added before slamming the door shut.
Jake flinched. He knew Andrea was partially right, that he was relying too much on Officer Kirk. But he’d rather be a nuisance than be an idiot and act on a whim. He dialed the number.
“Hello Officer Jake,” Officer Kirk said.
Jake was instantly relieved. “Officer Kirk!” he said, before remembering to contain his enthusiasm. “Erm, Officer. Mrs. Lucifay went into a bar. What should I do?”
“One of you should follow her.”
“Andrea already did. She took the keys too,” Jake added.
“I expected she would. You keep a good watch then.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s all. And you know Jake,” Officer Kirk said, slightly amused, “you don’t need my confirmation on everything you do. I know you’re no idiot. You have some confidence in yourself, alright?”
“Ah, yes Officer!”
The call ended, leaving Jake in an even worse mood. Even my boss tells me not to listen to him, he thought bitterly.
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