《Terms and Conditions》Part 3
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“THIS ISN’T GOOD.”
Nick snored a reply. Exflibberaguil had discovered that loss of memory also caused you to behave like a koala. Exflibberaguil didn’t mind the snores, really, but it annoyed him that someone should be so carefree and relaxed, while he was dealing with major problems.
The problem was someone had caught him on camera and posted it online. Not only did this greatly complicate matters, but it irritated him that he wasn’t the focus of the photo but rather an ugly woman with a pig nose and yellow teeth.
This photo must be taken down. It didn’t have many likes anyway. Unfortunately, Box had no way of getting into this person’s phone, and only minutes after deleting the post, it was put up again. Box did find this person’s address, but it was in Singapore and Exflibberaguil didn’t wish to find out if the trailer was waterproof. So Exflibberaguil decided to risk leaving the image on the website, even though that offered the slight chance that someone would recognize him in the future and inquire why he wasn’t the main subject of this photoshoot.
After that incident, Exflibberaguil decided to see if Nick had any photos taken of her. Turns out she’s pretty popular on the internet. Even the police seemed to be big fans.
“Look’s like her mom’s pretty sad though,” he commented. “Look, she even made a poster saying that she was missing Nick. It’s strange though. I never knew Marine was Nick’s name.”
“Perhaps saying her real name might trigger her memory,” Box advised.
“Maybe,” agreed Exflibberaguil. He proceeded to yell loudly, acting as an alarm clock.
Nick stopped in mid-snore and laid in bed for a few seconds with her eyes squeezed tight before truly accepting her stake of awakeness. She muttered something incomprehensible.
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"Hey, does Marine Nicole Lucifay mean anything to you?" Exflibberaguil asked in a loud voice.
"My name's Nick. Call me Nick. My nickname's Nick. Nickname...Nick...haha..."
"I'll take that as a no then," Exflibberaguil said to himself. "Well, there goes your smart idea, Box."
"But sir," Box argued, "don't you see? She's saying these things instinctively. She's remembering something."
"What do you mean?"
"She's remembering how to respond to someone who calls her Marine."
"I see," Exflibberaguil replied thoughtfully, his head nodding. "Should I just call her by her normal name then?"
"Try telling her more details about her town."
Exflibberaguil turned back to his 7730. With a little help from Box, he was able to deduce Nick's town. There seemed to be a sudden increase in news articles since Nick's departure. Not only were these Sodriew desperately missing Nick, but they were also missing many cats for some strange reason. Exflibberaguil never knew that cats were popular enough to reserve a spot in the newspaper.
Nick had fallen asleep again, and her snores were louder this time.
"That's strange," Exflibberaguil remarked.
"It's not. About forty percent of male adult Sodriew and twenty-four percent of female adult Sodriew snore."
"I suppose that is sort of strange," Exflibberaguil agreed, "but that's not what I had meant. Box, is it normal for many Sodriew to be missing many cats?"
"Missing? That is certainly very concerning."
"Concerning?"
"Don't you remember?" Box replied. If it were alive, it would be impatient. "Part three of the movies. The final part of the rabbit trilogy. It's cats and pigs next. The bunnies recruit these other, slower reproducing animals to help. Then, once humans have gone extinct, it is much easier to take over pigs. Their intellect is dramatically lower than Leporidae. The rabbit family," Box added, noticing Exflibberaguil's confusion.
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"So these rabbits are recruiting cats now?"
"It seems so."
Exflibberaguil felt something in the depths of his mind click. He remembered it now. "Has this happened yet?" he demanded, slightly panicked. "I didn't know it had already come to this."
"It seems that the rabbits are making their moves mainly on Japanese islands," Box replied. "Cats have taken several small islands in Japan already. And the Bahamas beaches are slowly getting crowded with pigs."
"Oh no."
"It's simple," Box continued. "Any animal can participate. As long as they first take up the smaller islands, and force more and more humans onto the mainland, sooner or later humans would be forced to squeeze into small areas. Only then would they realize they were in trouble, but it would be too late. There would be at least ten rabbits for every human, and it wouldn't be too hard to develop human deceases and wipe out their population."
"That's horrifying," Exflibberaguil breathed. "I wonder...are cats universal species too? Or are they only native to Driew?"
Box hesitated. "If I told you, I'd risk trigger you into remembering. Last time you told me to warn you before I trigger your memory."
"Oh." Exflibberaguil's face contorted into a pained expression. A part of him knew Box was telling the truth, yet another part of him yearned to know the answer to his question. These dilemmas constantly pressured him. Fortunately, he had learned from Nick a simple yet ingenious way of solving these problems. Taking a coin he kept in his pocket, Exflibberaguil tossed it in the air and watched it clatter to the ground.
"Head," he reported. "I guess I'm not finding the answer to my question today," he sighed. "Oh well. I just hope it's not essential."
"Excuse me, sir, for interrupting. But may I just inquire when you are leaving? You've been parked here for quite a while now..."
"Either today or tomorrow," Exflibberaguil replied, tossing the coin again. "Eagle. Tomorrow then."
"Very good, sir," Box said pleasantly. "May I inquire of your destination?"
"A place north of here. To a man named Miles Bucker. He has a certain rabbit named Cosmos I'm curious about. Extremely gluttonous, lazy, and greedy. He spends most of his days doing nothing except stare off into space. Sound familiar?"
"Yes. Like a Sodriew," Box agreed.
"Very true. But I meant he sounds just like a rabbit leader. The rabbit leader."
"He also sounds like any other normal pet bunny."
"No," Exflibberaguil said sternly. "He is the rabbit leader."
"How do you know?"
"Because I'm not about to drive twenty thousand hours just to see a normal bunny!" Exflibberaguil exploded.
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