《Terms and Conditions》Part Two
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IT WAS THE UGLIEST CREATURE NICK HAD EVER SEEN.
But it certainly wouldn’t qualify as revolting or horrifying, much less suicide-prompting. In fact, Nick was vaguely familiar with creatures like it. They were all over the internet.
It was a baby creature. It had swollen eyes too big for its body. Red slits for eyes peeked through the wrinkled eyelids, blind. The body was a structure of pure bone held together by wet skin that stretched thinner than pantyhose. Tufts of hideous whitish fur sprouted from its pointed nose. Two purple ears jutted from the head.
Its hideous little nose twitched, and a little stub on its butt flicked, but then it lay still again.
“Is this a baby rat?” Nick asked.
“No.” Exflibberaguil replied.
There was no follow-up explanation.
“You should use the virtual reality,” he reminded, after a long pause.
Nick had been so engrossed (or, rather, grossed) by this creature that she had been completely oblivious of the surroundings. They were, in her defense, rather bleak and boring surrounding though: hot, dry desert.
Nick moved her head, and the landscape moved with her. She never liked the dizzying quality virtual reality had, but she wasn’t about to complain.
The little figure lay in the sand barely breathing. Nick kneeled down. “Shouldn’t we help it?”
“That is probably the most horrific thing you’ve ever said.”
“Stop being sarcastic, Penguin.”
But there had been no angry comeback. Only silence.
“Okay! I won’t help this virtual creature! What next?”
“Nothing. Watch.”
Nick did. Slowly, the tuft of fur spread across the body. The eyelids opened, revealing black pupils. A long tail grew from a stub. Whiskers stretched out from the nose. The limbs, especially the hind legs, grew longer and more muscular. The feet lengthened. Two fangs grew from the purple gum. Nick was aware this all happened under the influence of time-lapse.
The result looked like a cross between a rat and an otter, with fur so short the pink skin was showing through. It looked just as hideous as before, although worse, in Nick’s opinion. It was like when humans were born, they were expected to be wrinkled and ugly. But they were also expected to become cuter as they grew. This animal growing to be just as ugly as before was almost a disappointment.
The animal laid on the sand, aging every second. It didn’t do anything. Didn’t hunt for food or water, only twitch or scratched it’s ear once in a while. Nick was always reminding herself this was only because it was a simulation. She also expected something to happen. A simulation wouldn’t be created just to watch an ugly animal grow uglier.
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Soon, another of the same sort came. It was just as ugly, only slightly fatter and larger. It didn’t take a genius to figure out this was one of the opposite sex.
Nick looked away as the two performed their mating ritual. She was glad the virtual reality allowed her to.
She could not see Exflibberaguil, but she wondered briefly what he was doing. Was he seriously watching this all? Even though her mother never gave her the official “birds and the bees” talk, Nick knew what action created her. However, she had no desire for her innocent mind to be scarred just yet.
“They’re done,” Exflibberaguil said, “you can look. Though you really are more immature than I imagined. And I doubt you would care so much in a matter of minutes.”
“Who asked for your opinion?”
Nick looked back after a moment’s pause, just to make sure Exflibberaguil had not been trying to trick her. The two ugly animals had separated now, and they lay next to each other, doing nothing as before.
As the minutes passed, a bump grew in the second animal’s stomach, presumably the female. It wasn’t long before a little of little ugly creatures were born, about five that Nick could count.
She could feel the time pass quicker now. Only a few minutes passed before the animals began finding their own mates, and the original parents birthed yet another litter. A few minutes later the animals reproduced again. More than a hundred ugly animals were roaming the desert now.
Nick was aware that these animals began to become livelier. Some where hopping now, though they were still disregarding the crucial elements to survival: food and water.
Nick had no time to dwell on it longer. The time-lapse clock ticked faster. The animals multiplied exponentially. Hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands, millions filled the desert, filled the screen. It was a little frightening when she realized how many had sprung from that one breeding pair. It wasn’t long before the entire desert that Nick could see was covered with the animals.
Every second, five more animals seemed to be born. There was not enough space now. They pressed against each other, fighting for territory. It now felt dangerous, Nick being in the center of the desert. The animals began piling up in another layer. The thick, musky smell of feces wafted to her nose.
Some died, yes, but not enough. And most had died from fights and stampedes. They twisted and turned and bit and screamed. Nick had already witnessed countless acts of reproduction. Her heart quickened.
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“There’s too many,” she gasped, “something isn’t right. They should start dying.”
“They should, shouldn’t they?” Exflibberaguil replied. Nick detected no amusement in his voice.
“I mean, that sounds horrible. But something should happen. Something that could control their population.”
Exflibberaguil did not reply.
A strange feeling of claustrophobia overcome her. The animals climbed on each other, writhed and squirmed. They reminded Nick of earthworms and the bait shop. She had an urge to rip off her goggles, knowing that this was all a simulation. But her pride prevented her from doing so.
Suddenly, the animals stopped, their black eyes glinting. Throughout the whole simulation, she had been invisible, a bystander. But now, these animals were aware of her presence. Naturally, they objected to it.
Instantly, they jumped at her. She did not feel pain, but they covered her body, her vision, everything. They clung to her. She could almost feel the fur. She could not breath. The air smelled of sweat and feces. Her hands were sticky.
This wasn’t right. There was something very, very, wrong.
More weight. She could feel the weight. She could feel herself dropping. Nick couldn’t breathe. She was losing her balance.
Then one jumped on her face, its yellow fangs too long to be healthy. Nick shook her head, trying to shake the animal off. But it didn’t leave. It’s fangs sunk into where her eyeball should be. Blood splattered. She couldn’t see through that eye. Then another joined the party on her face.
Nick felt herself hyperventilating.
To hell with pride.
She ripped off her goggles, panting.
To her surprise, Exflibberaguil had already taken off his own. He sat on the couch, staring at the television in which the same thing was being showed. “Even I made it farther than you on my first try,” he remarked.
“What was that?” Nick yelled, ignoring Exflibberaguil. She could still smell the sweat and feces, but she now realized this was because the mysterious smell machines had been emitting it. The weight and the balance were because of the landing, which Nick could only assume was smooth as she was still alive.
“Those,” Exflibberaguil sighed, “were the invading species.”
“What was wrong with those animals?”
Exflibberaguil let silence fall before answering, as if gathering his thoughts. “Remember when I told you that nature kills off waves of evolution creatures? And the only way creatures continue to evolve is when they go extinct?”
Nick nodded.
“The problem with these animals is that they went against nature.
“They refused to die out. Sure, nature tried of course. Nature sent plagues and storms, but they grew resilient. It was not that these animals stopped evolving altogether, but they took tiny, micro steps. In fact, they have not changed very much in size and body structure up to this day.
“Of course, no species could fight nature when they are following the rules. Not the rules of the galactic yelling papers, of course, but the rules created by nature itself. Nature created planets for organisms to live on, limiting population area. This is one of the ways it makes sure no beings get out of hand.
“So they broke that rule. They invaded other planets. For space. For food. And eventually, for fun. And that’s the very short synopsis.”
“But what are these animals? When will they invade Earth?”
“You misunderstand, little Odriew,” Exflibberaguil replied, “They have already invaded and plotted a substantial base on your planet.”
“What?”
“I believe,” he continued, pausing dramatically, “they are called ‘rabbits’ on your planet.”
“Rabbits?”
“Rabbits.”
“Cotton-tailed fluffy balls?”
“Yes.”
“Lop-eared whisker noses?”
“Yes.”
“Carrot-eating poof-bunnies?”
“Actually, now that you’ve brought that up, no.”
“What?”
Exflibberaguil sighed. “This is unproductive. Let’s drop off the archeologist and I’ll explain. I should also let you know that there’s a part three.”
“Please, merciful Penguin, spare me,” Nick begged.
“Oh,” Exflibberaguil replied half-heartedly, “I think it won’t be necessary, for now. But you may need to watch it when you start losing motivation.” He said this with a strange matter-of-factness, or a blank, detached feeling.
It was then that Nick realized one strange thing. Exflibberaguil wasn’t what she thought he was. There was something not quite right about him.
It was like the animals (Nick couldn’t quite believe that the animals were really rabbits). There had been something very wrong about the animals. And there was something very wrong about Exflibberaguil.
Exflibberaguil, Nick felt sure, had defied the rules of nature once.
Nick shivered. Perhaps she was overthinking. Perhaps she was just on edge after watching the video.
Of course, the real problem was that perhaps she wasn’t
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