When you sit at home comfortably in a chair beside a computer, have you ever thought what goes on outside there? Probably not. You click on a webnovel and read about lesbians and stuff, getting a kick from people and events that never happened. You're doing it right now. You read about life at Urasaria thinking about how maybe you'd like to be friends with them, or at least how you'd like to talk to them. Even the old otakus did it, spiced their life with figmas when they sat watching Neon Genesis Evangelion and watched giant mechs rip a bunch of humans apart, reveling in terror & blood. Oh, it's great to watch, alright. Life through a keyhole.

But day after day goes by and nothing like that ever happens to you so you think that it's all in anime and not in reality and that's that. Which is true. But remember this: there are things happening out there. They go on every day and make Naruto look like a wimp, because he never snapped a man as one might snap a wishbone or had to deal with Chimera. It might terrify you, but it's real; but then again, I'm not you, and writing about these things is my job. If you're a Urasaria student, you have to be quick, and you have to be able, or you become one of the snapped, and if you can kill first, no matter how and no matter who, you can live and return to the comfortable chair and the comfortable screen. But you have to be quick. And able. Or you'll be dead.

At ten minutes after nine Kate finished up her breakfast in her hotel room and Serena came in through the door…

"Oh my fucking god." cackled Serena -

" - yep." A puzzled frown tugged down Kate's brow in a black & white world. Her phone had been turned in to a typewriter.

"Is this how you've been seeing the -"

" - yep."

Serena pulled up a chair beside Kate. Over in the other room Julia and Naomi were laughing, probably because they had just seen what the world was like now through Kate's eyes. It was true, alright; they'd been attacked by a Revenant!

"Looks like we're in a noir, sweeth- - Serena." said Kate. "Why the fuck does it affect speech?"

The door opened. In came Naomi and Julia. The poet was carrying a cigarette -

" - I - I can't throw this away."

"Uh, what?" said Kate, and Julia nodded as she threw it to the ground and stamped it out. Another one reappeared right between her fingers.

"This - this is so fucking stupid." cackled Naomi. It was relevant, but Kate wasn't up for it, if partially because the Revenant had given Kate the detective hat. The rest were side characters.

That, and Serena had a dark secret for what she had seen the first day they came in. At Matoi's order, they had headed in to another town once that orange-haired scum's power was confirmed as duplicating Revenants too. Hammerstone had gained a reputation among students for this hallucination Revenant, and it was about time someone came to end it for good.

Yesterday, they had gone through some shattered mirror of Manhattan that was Julia's vision, and she had been able to spout out better & more existential dialogue than her brain's paygrade. She would miss it, but business came first.

"Let's get serious." muttered Kate. Ripping an old sheet off her new typewriter, she set to work on a new one as they sat down. "What've we found so far?"

"Um, no phones." said Serena. For some reason, she was still in her jacket.

"Check our Revenants?" said Julia. Kate nodded, and Manufacture's rods formed. "Still got them."

'One drop of good news.' thought Kate. 'Uh, what?'

It started to rain out the window. All they could see were streaks of black & white lights that were cars passing through the fog in the road, and the sun wasn't coming out to play. Which was odd given it was 9:15AM.

"Yeah." nodded Naomi, and started cracking up - " - I'm - I'm sorry, I can't take this seriously -"

" - better start taking it seriously!" shouted Kate, banging her fists down - " - uh - sorry, Revenant."

"It's cool." nodded Serena. "Um. Still have our Revenants, though, so…"

"Should we try the museum again?" Julia winced. Yesterday she'd been kicked out for calling the curator a hack for promoting Jackson Pollock's paintings.

"Serena and I will handle that now. You two sweet peaches stay -" - Kate groaned - " - stay here. Get yourself something nice to eat. Two kids like you shouldn't be exposed to all this violence."

"I can handle it, boss!" protested Naomi - and winced - " - uh, what the fuck -"

" - yep." sighed Kate. She waved them off as she leaned back. She turned her chair to face the window, and they left without another word.

The brilliance that was the city at day had been reduced to drops racing down the glass and a mist that distorted the apartment windows beyond. How do you track a Revenant? she thought. Hosts were hard to come by & hard to keep track of, and if it was long-distance - well, he could've been two or three cities away.

So far, all they had of that scum was that the haze cleared from their vision whenever they went outside of city limits. If they didn't handle him soon, he might get away for good. When she found him, she wouldn't hesitate to put one hair bullet in his gut. She might stomp his teeth out too, and he was going to die slowly.

"Are we going?" said Serena behind and Kate nodded slowly.

"We'll head out to the museum now."

She had a good working relationship with Serena. The punk was a hell of a fighter and she wasn't afraid to be confident in that. Too often Kate had seen false modesty or true overconfidence from students who had no reason to put up either, but she knew a three-star was better than a two than a one.

".…uh, are you coming?" said Serena at the door and Kate shot up.

"I - uh - yeah."

The two came out to the hall, and went down to the messy streets. Black & white rain was crying from gray clouds.

"…least this one has our Revenants." muttered Kate, ponytail going taut. "Still got your piece, right, kid?"

"Yes." said Serena, Blackburn's fog & tentacle readied.

The museum was fifteen minutes away, and it was there that they had gone yesterday. Julia had thought that in her story of high art, the villain would've been waiting there.

The two came up to the corner and took a right, and the street walker there looked put-out because Serena was walking with a dame. The woman took a long one on her cigarette and asked them if they were in the mood for any service.

"Uh, services?" said Kate, and the two stopped on the sidewalk, five feet separating them as the woman leaned against the wall.

"Services." she purred. "You know what I'm talking about. Students get stressed like anyone else, don't they?"

"…uh, are you a prostitute?" said Serena, and the woman laughed.

"I'd like to think 'callgirl'. You aren't going to arrest me for that, are you?"

Kate paused. The woman looked younger than she was, maybe a day over eighteen. She should've been going to school, not taking any comers on a corner with a hair full of rain, and even in that black&white world Kate could see some color in that face that was too young to be doing something like this.

"No. We're not here to do that." said Kate. "You might be able to help us, though."

The woman leaned up against the wall, still purring. "With what?"

"With an investigation. You seen anything suspicious lately - any guys that don't look right to you?"

"All the time, lady. It's a hard job." said the woman, taking a drag on her cigarette. "Sometimes there's new girls - they show up on this corner, and after a week I never see them again. I don't know where they go, or if they're..." She trailed off.

"You need a better job than this." said Kate. "You can't throw away your youth on this."

"… well. I-I wish I had a choice, lady. It's - it's my john, you know. He - he comes around and checks up on all of us. And I know I can handle it - whatever he puts me through, I can handle it - but I'm not going to say I don't get scared sometimes, too, how he's going to react if I don't take in enough clients a week."

"Does he have a Revenant?" said Serena, and the woman's head shook.

"I don't know, mister -"

- Serena laughed involuntarily - " - I'm - I'm a woman -"

" - o-oh." She laughed nervously. "Guess it's those, that spiked jacket you have on. I'm sorry."

"It's, it's fine." laughed Serena, remembering to tell Yuruko.

"But - but like I said. I don't know if he has a R-Revenant or not. But I'm not gonna think about that. I don't let myself get - get caught up in worries like that. Right here, this is my corner."

"Get yourself out of this town, kid." said Kate, digging a few bills out of her pocket. "Not safe for you here. Young girl like you should be thinking of dating - getting married." She handed some cash over, and the woman smiled. "Buy yourself a one-way ticket out of town. Only thing safe for you."

"You're - you're right. Thank you!" she said, and started to run off down the sidewalk.

Serena stared stupidly as she came thirty feet away. "…uh. Why did you -"

" - oh god why the fuck did I do that?" groaned Kate - " - wait - stop! Urasaria!"

"Urasaria! Stop!" shouted Serena, and in the next instant -

- the two turned their backs with the speed of light; Kate's hair formed a tight cloak for herself, streams of fog filling Serena's jacket -

- and the hollow point of one bullet entered the back of Serena's skull & out the front; she screamed as she staggered ahead of Kate, hairwoman her cover -

" - actually fucking hurts!" she winced, streams of fog filling her wound. One parked car was beside, and in the next instant -

- Kate threw her through the window & to the driver's seat -

- and swept in to the passenger's side with her, pointing to the woman running past the corner now - " - follow that dame!"

"S-Sure." Serena winced, fog flying in to the ignition with a perfect match. The traffic was full of honking as she started driving, but the two kept close to the sidewalk as they started up, and as they passed the corner -

- they saw the dame standing on another corner arguing with a cabbie; she shrieked as she saw the two driving towards her, handgun rising to their tires -

- but streams of fog repaired their wheels before her gunshots could even enter it, more fog reinforcing their windshield as Serena pulled up right behind the broad -

- who ducked in to a nearby store. With no time to waste, the two got out, and Kate shouted after the scum as they went after her in to the store. On the other end was their foe, shouting "Smoking Gun!" as a molotov cocktail appeared in those delicate hands; she threw it towards them -

- the two dodged underneath, but the flaming projectile hit the wall behind -

- and Serena nodded as nothing happened, pulling her cup out of jacket. Streams of fog filled it as she threw it towards the woman staggering at the back wall ahead, and as it hit the wall -

- the asbestos within burst in to blue clouds; the woman gagged & coughed as the two cleared the clearing -

- and one hairpunch to the stomach folded her like a jackknife. Something gurgled, hands clawing at her groin. This time Kate aimed it right. She stepped up and kicked her face in, and the evil thing started to vomit.

"Lady." said Kate. "I loved y- uh, nevermind."

She shook her head and one Split knife sliced the woman's stomach open. The woman looked up at them. It'd only be a few seconds before they'd be speaking to a corpse. Hours, minutes passed as Kate crouched over her.

"I sentence you to death, as judge, jury, and executioner."

"H-How c-could you?" said the woman.

"It was easy."

The woman fell rigid, and her gasp escaped as a bloody gurgle and she died -

- and the two sighed when nothing changed in the black&white world. Was it another red herring?

"Are you fucking kidding me?" groaned Serena.

"Looks like we'll have to deal with every last Revenant in this town, ki- - Serena." groaned Kate.

◆◆◆

The next morning, Serena woke up!

"(...oh no!)" she winced in Japanese, eyes half the size of her face, nose gone, mouth only moving every other frame -

- and she heard Naomi & Julia screaming in the other room.

"Serena-san." said a familiar voice from the table. "(Am I supposed to guess this is, uh, your's?)"

"(...ghh?!)" Serena winced as she sat up, enormous eyes on Kate. Admittedly, she had thought once or twice what it'd be like to be an anime woman. She stood up -

- and immediately tripped facefirst in to the other bed, clumsiness dragging every blanket down with her.

'Oh no. I'm a bakadere.' she thought. '…hey! Wait a minute! I'm a bakadere?!'

"(You alright?)" said Kate, noticing the anger symbol on Serena's forehead. "(Not that I care.)"

"(…ow…)" said Serena, rubbing her head as she stood -

- and noticing her hair was bright pink.

'I'm the main character! At least I'm not a trap. Ugh.'

She glanced at Kate, nodding with the satisfaction of an idiot at her black hair.

"(What are you staring at?!)" said Kate. "(Not that I care - why do I keep saying that?)"

"(Because you're the tsundere -)"

- the door opened, and in came Naomi & Julia -

" - Serena-kun!" shouted Naomi -

- and the two hit the floor hugging, Serena glad to find her hair wasn't black either, the mark of a main character. Julia had glasses on and a book.

"( - uh, wait, why did I do that?)" winced Naomi as she stood, already bouncing in place as Serena stood.

"(You're the hyper character.)" chimed Serena, relevantly.

"(Of course she is.)" droned Kate. "(Can you explain what this is, Serena? Fufufu… sorry, uh, go ahead.)"

"(We're in an anime.)"

"(A what?)"

"(A Japanese animation.)" said Julia, enormous eyes not rising. "(A type of Japanese television, Kate-san. Have you never seen the landmark show, Astro Boy, or an episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion?)"

"(Of course I haven't!) Baka."

"(...wait, you've seen Evangelion?)" said Serena, hoping she hadn't, as she might've started to like her otherwise.

"(Um, no. It's in this book.)" Julia winced as she dropped it, and it reappeared again. "(I-I can't even use Manufacture this time.)"

"(Um, Kate, can you use Split?)" said Serena.

"(Of course I can. One second! One second is all I need to -)"

- Kate sighed as her hair didn't go taut. "(Nope. Doesn't look like it.)"

"(I'm sure it'll all be okay!)" chimed Naomi, still bouncing and unable to stop.

"(Can you use Avalanche?)" said Serena, and Naomi's smile filled her face as Avalanche's arm formed. "Coolio. Ikiryō! Fog Overdrive-u!" She nodded as Blackburn formed.

"(Uh, what's with the English?)" said Kate.

"(Japanese people think English is cool.)"

Kate nodded, utterly clueless. "(Guess you two are gonna have to be on your own. Can't go out without your - uh, why does my skin look weird?)"

"(They're not animating us as much due to lack of budget.)" mumbled Julia.

"(Uh, and because you're not main characters.)" chimed Naomi, no Revenant influencing that one. "(Right, Serena-kun?)"

"(Yeah. Let's go investigate, Naomi-kun!)"

The two walked out, and Kate sighed in to her hands. "…yare yare daze."

Outside, Serena & Naomi had already reached the sidewalk full of black heads of hair, civilians detailed much worse than they were.

"(…seriously.)" laughed Naomi. "(This is, this is just super weird -)"

"( - it's super weird, yeah -)" laughed Serena, and as she went to wipe her cheek - "( - ow - shit -)"

"( - what - what's up?)"

"(I poked my eye.)" winced Serena, and the two laughed.

"(Kate seemed pretty, uh, weirded out too.)" laughed Naomi, and Serena nodded.

"(She's the tsundere, so, she has to be kinda distant.)"

"(Jeez.)" Naomi laughed. "(What's it like fighting with her, Serena-kun?)"

"(She's cool. She's actually straight, too.)"

"(Nice.)" Naomi laughed. Kate was a real adult to her too, but she felt too serious & too much like a staff member, so she preferred the time they'd spent with Mia. "(Did you tell her about me?)"

"(Yeah.)" said Serena and Naomi laughed.

By now, her personality had grown enough that she was starting to think about dating. She'd like to date someone like Samuel; tall&muscular, someone she could borrow oversized jackets from & who would hold her when she was upset. It was cheesy, but she still liked the thought.

"(Um.)" said Serena. "(Are you doing okay with Julia?)"

"(Doing good, yeah. She's - she's been really good, yeah.)"

"(Okay.)"

Serena still didn't like Julia, and Naomi could tell that too; so she changed the subject to pop music, and they talked while they walked.

Japanese music started in the background, and as they passed one corner -

" - IKIRYŌ!" shouted Serena, pointing frantically ahead -

- and in the middle of the crowd ahead stood their foe, red-haired & bizarrely detailed, fifty feet separating the two as the anime women started their rush forward. Four pipes burst out of his back; red & pink gas erupted out of them -

- and melted every civilian around him in to goo; the women halted thirty feet away on the sidewalk, foe's grin growing with chin held high as he stepped back.

"(Urasaria heroes!)" he shouted. "(My name is Yagami Yoshikage! I have struck terror in to students' hearts for over ten years, with the power of my Revenant, The Planet -")

- a puff of blue gas hit his nostrils, and his head shook as his monologue paused. Serena started thinking what she'd do once they got in to range.

'Thirty feet within range… My Revenant, Blackburn, only has an effective range of twenty feet… But Naomi-kun's is even shorter than that! This is the only time I can do this!

"(Villain Yagami Yoshikage, who has distorted our sight and speech patterns! My name is Serena Kunst! Hero name, Miasma, rank #21! I am known for my punk ways, and my extremely violent profile. Criminals and all sorts of scum fear my ability to fill their throats with knives. When I was in highschool, I was called fa-)"

- a streetpole flew at her from ahead; a puff of red hit it as it flew, and it melted like it'd been through a thousand degree forge -

- and the keen projectile wrapped around her like a car around a tree; she shrieked as streams of fog flew in to the pole -

- and overfilled it with water until it shattered & fell off, freeing her as she grunted - "( - you can't interrupt someone when they're monologuing -)"

"( - unless you're making a fourth wall joke!)" retorted Yagami -

" - fucking bitch!" shouted Serena, as Japanese did not have much swearing. Anime women starting their rush towards him, Yagami's eyes started to rumble -

- and the women swept with the speed of light in to a store's doorway right -

- just in time to avoid his spinning eye lasers shooting past them; Naomi stomped for a wall of stone as they took cover. "(Is - is he a -) - Uchi no Ten Seichō - ( - villain)?"

"( - um, he might be?)" winced Serena's enormous eyes - "( - maybe he's in season two -)"

"( - wait, season two? How many seasons are there?)"

"(Um, ten. So far.)"

Naomi's enormous eyes blinked stupidly at her. Wanting to flank first, Serena rushed inside the store, and Naomi followed her behind as she came up to the northern wall, bizarrely undetailed. Streams of fog flew in to it -

"( - are you kidding me?)" groaned Serena, fog unable to penetrate, wall having not been marked for animation, and in the next instant -

- another set of lasers hit the store across the street; the beams ricocheted and shot inside their own, and as they hit the back wall -

- a puff of green hit the detailed wall; it started instantly to collapse, corrosive cloud corroding away the wall, and as the entire store started to crumble -

" - ikiryō! Avalanche!" shouted Naomi, stone fingers snapping -

- and part of the ceiling slid off to repair the wall before the store could collapse any further. Seeing another part of the northern wall marked for animation, Serena nodded as they ran up to it, and as streams of fog filled it -

- it corroded away their sudden exit, and in to the hole swept the women -

- in to a bizarrely lightless room, no sight left once they stepped inside -

"( - what the fuck?)" groaned Serena -

"( - no budget?)"

"(I guess so. Let's try to light something on fire.)"

"(It didn't work. Yah! I tripped!)"

"(On me! I really hope that's your arms on my head.)"

"(Uh. Yep. Let me - let me try to shoot stuff.)"

"(They're bouncing off of stuff, I guess.)"

"(Yeah! We can find a way out like this.)"

"(Let's go, Naomi-kun!)"

- and the two came out to a bizarrely clear sidewalk, parked cars between, foe on the other side of the road, toking up another three puffs of blue to keep him from falling to -

"( - what the fuck is this degenerate shit, anyway?!)" he shouted - "( - why does everyone have such fucking huge eyes?!)"

- and Serena didn't have an answer for him; beside, Naomi stomped and launched one car towards him -

- and it disappeared in midair; the two groaned as they realized it, used to their studio's lack of budget by now -

"( - close your eyes!)" shouted Naomi; the two closed their eyes as Naomi stomped again -

- and once they opened, they saw their foe plastered & staggering against the wall ahead, second car she'd launched mysteriously gone. The two rushed up as he hit the ground staggering and groaning.

"(Niiice!)" chimed Naomi, enormous eyes glancing beside. She blew a kiss, and as she started to dance -

"( - no fanservice.)" winced Serena as their foe stood ahead -

- and as the Japanese lyrics started up, their foe as doomed and he knew it; would be brought down by the power of friendship and he knew it -

" - IKIRYŌ! BLACKBURN!!!" shouted Serena; her tentacle swept forward -

" - IKIRYŌ! AVALANCHE!!!" shouted Naomi; her palms swept forward -

- streams of fog filled her stone bullets as they shot forward -

- and the hundred balls of acid pockmarked their foe & turned him in to corroded Swiss cheese, gasping out a scream they didn't hear as the next volley burnt his head right off his shoulders and the Japanese music faded in to the background as he fell dead on his headless back. The two sighed relieved as they left the anime world, vision & minds returning to normal as they stood again.

"…man." muttered Serena, crouching down to scan.

"…no more Japanese." chimed Naomi, relevantly.

"Yeah. I'm just gonna destroy this one." said Serena, and Naomi nodded as streams of fog dissolved it.

"Cool." said Naomi. "Uh. Should go back to the hotel, right?"

"Yeah." laughed Serena, thinking of the tsundere Kate. "Guess we just had to wait for one that made it easy."

"Yeah." laughed Naomi. "Never got to mine, though."

For a second, she wondered if he would've had an eel tattoo, but blinked her mind clear of it.