《Shaman》Twenty-six (2/2)
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Forever, or only a few fast heartbeats, before Jared raised his head and smiled, his eyes meeting hers. “I'm sorry so much has happened,” he said softly, “and I'm sorry I had no idea what was happening. But I'm very, very glad that you're happy now. And that you're here.”
Happy doesn't even begin to cover it.
“And just what would you have really done, if you'd known how I felt?” she pointed out, taking refuge in rationality. “I'm reasonably certain it wouldn't have involved a kiss.”
“Sadly true,” he sighed, then the smile came back. “But at least I know better now. One example of anything is insufficient evidence, though.”
So, he kissed her again.
Now collided with then, Corin who adored Jared and would have done anything for his approval and been grateful for the chance, Vixen who knew who and what she was and had left shame behind, and she returned it with all the fervour of both.
Jared was perceptibly out of breath when they finally broke that time.
“Is two a better sample?” she asked mischievously.
“Better,” he agreed. “But the larger the sample the better.”
Several long moments later, Vixen reluctantly drew back a step. “I've heard a servant come to the doors and very quietly leave at least twice now. While I'm sure they're as tactful and discreet as anyone could ask, it's possible dinner is ready and won't keep well.”
“It's only food,” he grumbled, but he conceded. One hand followed her arm down to hers, and with courtly gallantry, he escorted her to one of the chairs at the table.
“Most of your staff work hard at their jobs,” she pointed out. “This includes the ones preparing your meals. Acknowledgement costs you very little.”
“That's what you think.” He took the seat across from her.
She gave him a teasing smile. “And you need to keep your strength up.”
“Mm. There is that.”
As the first of the servants appeared, bearing wine, she groped for a conversational subject that would be more appropriate.
“You said there are several boys you're considering sending to the University? I believe I've met one, the son of the previous steward. Cole.”
“Mm, yes. He has some rather perplexing health issues. Which I suppose is how you've managed to encounter him?”
She laughed. “Yes. He should be fine now, as long as he's careful what he eats.”
“What he eats? Interesting. Balduin, I believe, tried anti-parasitics, fasting, purging, general tonics, and a variety of other approaches, without success.”
And it's Cole's good luck he wouldn't waste expensive quicksilver on the child of a servant. “I work in a very different way,” she said mildly. “I'm sure there would be things I'd be unable to diagnose or treat that he could.”
“Perhaps. It's a shame he's so antagonistic. Imagine combining the two approaches?” He chuckled. “Maybe we should send you back to the University to finish your diploma?”
“I'd have to start over. And given what we used to hear and my experience with Dean Hadley, I don't think I'd care to experience several years at the University as a woman. Especially not without my protector.”
“Shall we both go back, then? Rent ourselves a room on High Street, the day filled with classes and the evening to debate the nature of the universe and the night to ourselves?”
It was a rather appealing scenario, and once, it would have sounded to her like the resolution of all her dreams. The uncharacteristic wistfulness of his voice didn't belong, though, and that was enough to make her focus on reality.
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“You really miss it badly,” she said gently. “Being at the University, being surrounded by people willing and able to hold their own in arguments about science and math and history and engineering, always looking for something new to learn that would give you more clues about the great mystery that is the world.”
He sighed. “Yes. I very much wish that either my parents had several more children ahead of me, or that my brother hadn't managed to get himself killed. In such a pointless way as boar-hunting, yet. I would prefer to be there, not here. I will do my best by Hyalin, and at moments I find it rather satisfying, But it isn't what I wanted or what I would choose.”
“Then do something about it.”
“Like what? Abdicate and let Mirain take over, while I run back to the University?”
“That is one possibility. Lyris would make a good Lady. She does come from a good family with lots of connections and status, and that unfortunate brood of daughters who need dowries that their moderate wealth can't meet. Hyalin doesn't really need a dowry in cash or land, her father's support would be even more valuable. And they love each other, and Mirain loves Hyalin, so they could be happy. But there are other things you could do.”
“Such as?”
“Start a school here. It doesn't need to compete with the University. Make it a school for those too young to get into the University, so they can go there with the foundations they need in order to do well. Or a school specifically for women who want to find out what exists beyond the discussions of style and marriages and children and household management that are all they're ever supposed to be exposed to. I'm certain there are women out there who are as miserable in that role as I was in mine or as you are in this one. They don't all want to be trained into being pretty vapid dolls around men, but they're not given a choice.” Sanovas, born human, would have been in exactly the mirror of her own trap, forced into marriage and motherhood and hating it all, never even knowing his own wonderful loving self. “Or a school for the children of commoners, one they could get into without a highborn sponsor. One that focuses on practical subjects, math and engineering and concrete forms of science and more advanced literacy, not so much philosophy and rhetoric and astronomy and fencing. You'd need people around to teach, which gives you someone to talk to, and the students would become more interesting as they learn more. Some could go on to start teaching in turn.”
“If I can't go to the University, bring the University to me.”
“Exactly.” It had been either a long time, or only last night, since she'd seen that smile, the one that said he was intrigued by an idea and pleased with its source for offering it to him. “Let Mirain take over more of the routine responsibilities for you, so you have the time to spend on a major challenge to plan and construct and find the right people for. It would be a rather daunting project for most people, but for you?”
In complete defiance of etiquette, he rested his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand, eyes losing focus as his attention went inwards. “Any of those would have potential to be worthwhile, and also the potential to wreak havoc on Hyalin's standing. One offering preparation for University would be the safest, but also has the least likelihood of good company. One for women, hm, that's a new idea, since I assume you don't mean classes in dancing, flower-arrangement, embroidery, and elocution. But what would they be able to do with it? Most people won't hire women.”
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“They'll hire women as governesses and companions and house musicians like Lyris,” Vixen pointed out. “Imagine how much more value a governess would have if she had the education to teach more than basic literacy and math. Imagine someone with Lyris' charm and courtesy, and her musical gifts, who also has the background to be involved in a conversation with her employer and his guests about the history of the songs she's singing or the mathematics of music, or for that matter, to hold her own when the conversation turns to other subjects. I suppose most ladies would actually prefer not to have a companion better-educated than they are. But how often are people reluctant to hire women on the grounds that few women have had a chance at the education to do the job in question, rather than simply because they're women? It creates a self-perpetuating cycle based on circular reasoning. If women had the chance to learn, the system might begin to change and allow them another possible path.”
“That's true. But how to convince highborn fathers and mothers that I'm not collecting them together because I have designs on their virtue?” He hardly seemed to notice when the servant set a bowl of soup in front of him, but he picked up his spoon automatically.
They spent the rest of dinner on animated discussion of possibilities for curricula, facilities, rules, people they remembered who might be suitable as staff.
This was much more the Jared Vixen remembered, so completely engaged in the subject at hand that extraneous things like the excellent dinner they were served barely registered in his awareness. Vixen made a point of giving the servants grateful smiles and thanking them quietly, which seemed to surprise them as much as it gratified them.
“The alignment should be soon,” he said suddenly, in the middle of speculation about the best location to build. Dinner was well past, with only fruit left to nibble on with the rest of the wine. He took a swallow of the latter and got up, offering her a hand. “Milady?”
She laid her hand in his and let him help her to her feet. Maybe she was adjusting to the new stays. Following Karela's advice, she'd eaten only lightly and slowly, not filling her stomach, and wasn't drinking a great deal of wine. After what must by now be several hours, they felt less restrictive, more supportive, more like the relatively pliable cord-stiffened ones. She could, she thought, get used to wearing this regularly, for a good reason. And if she could adjust to these stays, how bad could even the more fashionable, more rigid ones really be?
“A telescope must have cost you an enormous amount,” she said, as Jared urged her over to the long rectangular case and the tripod.
“It was expensive,” he admitted. “But it was worth it. And if I'm going to put the amount of work into Hyalin I do, I'm going to take advantage of the rewards. Like being able to indulge myself with scientific equipment.” He smiled at her, his eyes sliding down her body an inch at a time so obviously that it was almost a caress. “And give gifts to people who matter to me.”
“And was this a gift for me or for you?” she retorted.
He laughed. “Both, I think.”
Deftly, he opened the case and took out the brass and bronze and steel tube that lay cradled in soft thick felt padding. It fit neatly onto the tripod, screwing securely into place.
“And that simply,” Jared said, “the universe comes much closer. The moon, for example.” He adjusted the angle of the telescope, head bowed over the tube, and after a moment stepped back, gesturing invitingly.
Vixen came closer and bent down to look.
“Oh my. Drawings and descriptions don't do it justice. It looks so... solid. Like we should be able to climb up to it and walk around.”
“Wouldn't that be wonderful? With those mountains, there must be rocks lying around one could pick up and study and compare with ours. It doesn't look green, but is that because it's dead or because plants there aren't green?”
“Or maybe some atmospheric effect that washes out the colour?”
“Or that. I hadn't thought of that one. The alignment is higher and more to the south.” He wrapped an arm around her waist, keeping her near, while he adjusted the position and angle of the telescope. “Ah, there they are. See?”
The planets were currently of much less interest than Jared's arm and the proximity of Jared's body and the warmth and scent and sheer presence of him. She forced her mind back to astronomy only with some difficulty. Two of the planets were visible with the naked eye, though one barely; through the telescope, the third came into view.
“It's an almost perfect equilateral triangle,” she said in delight, trying not to be disappointed when he let his arm fall. After all, he was still close to her. “So close they're almost touching.”
“It was perfect just a few nights before you came here,” he said regretfully. “And, sadly, I didn't think of it again until late last night, that you might like to see.”
“Oh, stop apologizing. A little late and nearly perfect is close enough, and much better than not at all.”
“True not only for stars, I hope.”
She looked sideways at him, and smiled. “True for most things, I think.” She straightened, one hand on her flattened belly. “I am certainly not dressed for leaning over for any length of time. Beautiful as they are, these clothes are not very well suited to much beyond sitting still, looking nice, and talking.”
“For the moment, there's little else to do,” he pointed out. “And while intelligent conversation is wonderful, intelligent conversation with a beautiful woman leaves it very far behind.”
“Jared...”
He kissed her again, deeply, one arm around her waist and the other around her shoulders.
Logic, which had been increasingly writhing in her grasp, finally wriggled free entirely and fled.
She did hold onto enough thought to murmur, close to his ear, “I'm not... entirely... a woman. There are limits.”
“Close enough.”
At least Jared's private rooms were close.
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